“Porn For Valentine’s Day? Well, OK!”

This story by originally appeared on YesPortal.com, a now defunct adult news and commentary website.  It was rescued thanks to the Internet Wayback Machine and can be found there via this link.  I have reprinted it here because I think it's worth sharing...

Porn For Valentine’s Day? Well, OK!
by Henri Pachard
02/14/03

It figures. Once again, my favorite adult news and gossip group, Adult DVD Talk, has sparked my interest for today’s column. The contributor who began the thread calls herself "Fast Forward," and has previously described herself simply as "just another married girl that likes to watch porn."

Appropriately, the thread began with: "Help me find the perfect movie for Valentine’s Day." Then she includes "I want to see stuff that turns us both on…"

Then "Fast Forward" listed seven "should haves" -- if possible -- to be included among any titles suggested. These included "Pro-performer attitude"; just enough, but not too much plot; lots of "b/g action," including anal, "dp," "facials," natural breasts, decent-looking guys with decent cocks, and with minimum "bd-sm" and circus acts.

It seems that "Fast Forward" not only knows about the kind of product that’s selling, she knows the group she’s writing to. She’s not looking for the kind of porn that your father used to watch.

I was impressed by some of the responses that followed; here are some of the titles suggested for viewing on Saint Valentine’s day: State of Bliss, It Had To Be You, a classic piece of porn from the late seventies; Desires Within Young GirlsHooray For HollywoodWhite Lightning", Red Vibe Diaries and, surprisingly, the eighth volume of Gang Bang Auditions.
Veronica Hart’s titles, Torn and Taken, were strongly recommended. Even performer and director Hamilton Steel confessed his shared passion with his wife, also a performer and director, Kelly Fire, when viewing Taken. I shot this couple in a scene once, and anything that gets their attention is a great compliment to any director. I hope Veronica checks out Hamilton’s own words.

A couple of responses couldn’t resist the fun of suggesting two of the most extreme, and nasty directors known for their sexually degrading stuff; which was anything from Max Hardcore and Brandon Iron’s Swallow My Pride.

I would not have expected any of today’s producers to suggest any of their titles as being appropriate for most couples to share on Valentine’s day; fearing that it might scare off customers. But nevertheless, Jeff Mike from JM Productions suggested Jim Powersthirty-fifth volume of Perverted Stories. I guess if a series can make it to that high of a number of releases -- then, why not? Whenever I run into Jim Powers, my first thoughts stir up the visions of "that blonde’s" head hanging up-side down, with her own saliva drooling down her face while her mouth is getting relentlessly fucked (a shot I stole at my first opportunity).

To suggest a porn title -- especially the kind that’s popular today -- as something suitable for sharing with your lover on Valentine’s Day somehow seems weird to me. In fact, I’ve often offered the opinion that perhaps anyone’s favorite porn would be whatever he or she keeps secret, and watched only when alone. It’s obvious to me now, that this is not a very popular concept.

Saint Valentine’s Day implies and reminds us to celebrate intimacy among couples. I can’t think of too many of my own titles that I could recommend, except perhaps one. But it only has one scene in it that’s both pornographic and with a special message of intimacy. Ironically, this scene got me into enough "trouble" with VCA, a few years ago, that Veronica Hart felt it necessary to wait for VCA’s owner, Russ Hampshire, to return from out of town to approve the content. Knowing Russ, I didn’t blame her.

It happened to be my favorite scene in True Hooker Stories, which was about a very tough guy (Tyce Bune) and a blind, paralyzed hooker (C.J. Bennett), with her "caretaker" played by Tina Tyler. I intentionally wrote in Tina’s character to allow the viewer to disapprove of Tyce’s character and the way he openly abuses and degrades CJ’s blind, crippled body. He begins with dragging her by her lifeless ankles across the bed and makes her blindly search for his cock with her mouth.

His attitude was that since he’s paying to fuck her, he can fuck her any way he wants to. Tina tells us that this is "bad business."

Then after Tyce finally finishes her with the good old facial, he catches his breath and goes into the bathroom and gets a washcloth with warm water. Instead of using if on himself, he brings the washcloth back to CJ and very tenderly washes her face. He whispers to her that if she ever needs anything -- whatever it is -- to let him know. He lets her know that he will always be there for her. Before he leaves her, it becomes clear that this crippled, blind whore is the only person in his life that he can trust. That scene was my favorite, because it was about the meaning of intimacy. Intimacy is trust.

For Valentine’s Day, don’t come home without it.

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