Month: October 2012

Today on Spice Radio: Nice Rack 4 (2000)

Today on Spice Radio’s YouPorn (Sirius XM 103, 3:00ish Eastern, Noonish Pacific) I’ll be talking to Ginger and Christy about Vince Vouyer‘s Nice Rack 4, featuring today’s guest Tera Patrick.

It feels strange reviewing a movie made in the 2000s. :-)

This is a straight gonzo movie, which means limited locato=ions, some direct talking to the camera, lots of POV angles, extreme closeups and a soul crushing sameness to the proceedings.

Scene 1: Dorian Grant and Mark Davis

We start out with Dorian Grant talking to camera and showing off her natural 34DDs.  It’s a strong start.  Dorian is very attractive and pretty soon, she’s sucking Mark Davis‘  cock.  She’s not getting a lot of it in her mouth, and she spends some time looking past the camera.  Mark lifts his legs up letting her get her pierced tongue all up in his butt for a couple minutes of rimming.

An odd video transition later, and Mark is eating her out, and she’s explaining to the camera how great he is at pussy eating, so of course he stops a moves to fingering her.  He goes back down on her, sucking her labia out and she’s giggling on the weight bench they have her on.  The smiles are nice, but the clenched eyes seem a little put on.

Then he dicks her.  She’s got a little bit of a belly, and I stand with Tarantino on this one, as he points out in Pulp Fiction:

Fabienne: . . . on a woman, a pot belly is very sexy. The rest of you is normal. Normal face, normal legs, normal hips, normal ass, but with a big, perfectly round pot belly. If I had one, I’d wear a tee-shirt two sizes too small to accentuate it.
Butch: You think guys would find that attractive?
Fabienne: I don’t give a damn what men find attractive. It’s unfortunate what we find pleasing to the touch and pleasing to the eye is seldom the same.

Word.

So she has her legs in the air, and it seems like it’s taking more effort than she’d like as her smiles go away, and she seems to be concentrating on holding herself open for the camera; but not for too long since we ha another odd transntion and now she’s on top of him, and they camera just focuses on her quim.

You’ve got a girl with great tits, why don’t you put her in reverse cowgirl and keep her in a wide shot?  Instead, we get very brief pull outs to wide shots while the cameraguy adjusts for a new angle where we don’t get to see the girl much. This is my problem with modern porn and gonzo in particular — the concentration on the gyno shots and not attempting to show off the girls in their best light.  Instead, it’s all hammering dicks at high TPM (thrusts per minute).

We finally get Dorian in RC (reverse cowgirl) and she’s all jiggly which is nice; but her tattoo is on only one side of her navel, so it makes her look lopsided in the long shots… but there’s not a lot of long shots, as we have to keep cutting in to the anonymous close-ups.

They move to missionary which shows off her Nice Rack and Mark pulls out and jerks on her tongue and cheek.  He finishes by titfucking her a little.

The scene was fine, but I really find the lack of set up to be distracting.  It becomes apparent that the only reason these two are fucking each other is because they’re being paid to.  At least with a story, I can be made to believe they like each other…

Scene 2: Fanny (as Cherry Lee) and the late, great Jon Dough

Cherry’s scene starts out with generic production library music and a set of anonymous breasts jumping up and down and then pressed together. She introduces herself with a thick french accent, mentions her breasts are a 36C (and then asks an off-camera person for confirmation) and then she’s sucking Jon’s cock as he lays on a couch.  Zero set up.  Just cut to the cocksucking.

I wish I didn’t have the disdain for the genre that I do… but the formula just doesn’t really work for me.

Cherry’s attractive enough with a big bush.  She’s shown off a bit better with more full body shots, but she’s also thinner; so perhaps they thought they were doing us a favor by minimizing how much they revealed of Dorian?

Anyway, there’s no talking in the scene, there’s some breast play but not as much as you’d expect from a series called Nice Rack.

There’s some nice RC, but the bodies are diagonal in the frame which isn’t the most flattering angle, tho it does make the body as large as it could be.

They movie to doggie, then without any discussion between them, he pulls out, lays her down on the couch and shoves his finger in her ass, and then a few fingerbangs later, he shoves his dick up there for some anal mish. She sucks her tits a bit which is nice, and then  they’re back to the reverse cowgirl with anal spicing it up this time, and we actually spend some time on the waist up here.

She’s huffing and puffing as this seems more physically exerting than pleasurable. Finally, he pulls out and jerks off on her face and mouth, and she spits it out.  Technically, this qualifies as ass-to-mouth, I think.

Scene 3: Misty Mendez and Vince Vouyer

Misty is a very smily girl who introduces herself right to the camera and then leans over to suck Vince’s cock.  There’s again no set up, but she does make little yummy noises while she’s eating him, and he fingerbangs her.

They don’t waste much time before she’s riding him RC with her panties pulled off to the side.  She makes good eye contact with the camera, occasionally closing her eyes in an effort to make us believe she’s having a good time.  Vince briefly plays with her nipples which makes nice rippling waves across her breasts, but the play is short lived.

They move thru the standard mish, doggie and back to mish before Vince jacks off on her face.  She doesn’t seem particularly enthused, but she attempts to pass it off as breathless ecstasy.

Scene 4: Casey Carlin and Erik Everhard

More anonymous boob shaking and then Casey introduces herself from Dallas, TX with 36C tits and then we dissolve to her with Erik’s cock in her mouth. She smiles a lot and looks up at him which are good things.  She looks at the camera too which is OK, but I prefer looking into the camera only when we’re in a POV situation, otherwise she breaks the fourth wall and it’s distracting to me.

She’s back on the weight bench and he fingres her some before she gets on the bench and pulls her on top of him for some reverse mish (she’s laying back on him; not riding like in a true RC.) Her facial expressions alternate between “Don’t fall off the bench” concentration and pleasure with a touch of holding back which may, upon reflection, just be her O Face.

He gets her back on the bench for some doggie, then he works a finger into her ass; then he’s back on the bench for some RAC and then some mish anal.  He never gets particularly deep on the anal; just down to the circumcision ridge, and she yelps “Ow!” a few times, so perhaps she’s just being a trooper here … her close ups don’t make her look all that excited and she vocalizes some discomfort as he sticks it back in.  Finally, he just jerks it onto her face and she dribbles the cum out of her mouth.  He does the patented Anabolic/RLD “scoop the cum back up into her mouth with your finger” move and we fade out.  (Another technical A2M).

Scene 5: Leandra and Vince Vouyer

Leandra introduces her 36D breasts and we break our formula and cut to Vince eating her out.  They move to her sucking him off, then rimming him briefly before we are transitioned into RC.

She’s spirited and doesn’t seem against the endeavor as the previous two were.  But it’s sort of generic.  After running thru a few standard positions (doggie, cowgirl) Vince jerks off on her chin and she enthusiastically gobbles it up.

Scene 6: Tera Patrick with Erik Everhard and Vince Vouyer

Tera introduces herself having “100% natural” 36Ds and she’s not afraid to show them off.  They’re pretty awesome.

She sits on a couch and talks dirty a bit as she plays with her tits.  The camera tho, insists on being so close up, it’s tough to enjoy them for what they are since they take up our entire field of vision.  But she tugs on her nipples and grabs some ice to get her nipples all hard.  She runs the ice up her leg, licks it and then rubs it all over her tits, getting them hard and wet.

But again, without warning, she’s got a cock in her mouth.  However, we at least get her grinning and saying “That’s what I wanted!” as she chows down.  Likely because she’s into it, her eye contact with the camera doesn’t seem creepy, but rather, it’s inviting.  No one would confuse her oral skills with deep throating, but Erik seems to be enjoying it.  (They sure did work together a lot early in her career.)

Transition to her rimming and talking dirty to us, teasing us.  This works.  We move to her rimming POV and looking up at us.  In a wide shot, she’s on her knees bent over eating his ass, and she reaches back to unzip her skirt.  Hot stuff which I would have liked to see more of; but we cut away to another closeup.

Next up, Erik is going to town eating her out and fingering while she slips a nipple into her mouth, and smiles at us.  He might be fucking her, but she’s clearly thinking about us.  It’s the great big eyes.  She coos as she slides his two fingers in and out and we transition to her standing over him as she asks “Can I have some cock now?” and she lowers herself onto his rod, and happily, the camera op pulls back to give us a full body shot of her riding him RC. (He’s a little low, shooting up at them, but I’ll take it.)

He flips her around mish and fucks her until she cums.  Vince can’t take it anymore and he pulls his cock out of his shorts and she takes it right in her mouth.  The angle is a little weird, so she has to work to get it in here, so she can just suckle on it; it’s not a real serious BJ at first, but she does manage to work her head back and forth on it, despite a vigorous fucking from EE.

They spin her around and Erik goes all doggie style on her, but at some point he moves around for more head and Vince comes in to take a few strokes.  (Still hasn’t taken his shorts off.)  But just as Vince starts to go, Erik cockblocks him with the phrase “I have to cum!” and Tera jumps off Vince’s cock and kneels before Erik for him to stroke-stroke-stroke onto her.  She’s sick of it, so she just puts him into her mouth and swallows him cum right down.  (No pic or it isn’t true?) but then she turns around and finishes Vince off with some more head and he jerks off onto her face and chin, leaving her to clean him off as some cum drips down her chin.  She pushes the rest into her mouth and swallows.

So.

Tera’s scene wins hands down and it’s not because she’s going to be on the show; it was simply the best scene.  They had a girl who wanted to be there, who was fucking gorgeous as all get out (this, of course, was pre-contract and pre-cosmetic enhancements, the latter being a serious crime against nature) and wanted to fuck these guys.  She and Everhard have chemistry together since they worked so much together, and she seemed down for unexpectedly (we’re led to believe anyway) taking on Vince.

The angles on her scene weren’t so close-up to be distracting, and they really did try to capture her beauty and sexiness.

Can’t say the same for the other scenes really.  The Dorian scene was the next strongest scene, followed by Misty and Leandra with then Fanny and Casey pulling up the rear.

VOD the last scene for sure and the first scene if you like a little pot belly.

 

Today on Spice Radio: Bikini Beach 1, 2 and 3 (1993)

Today at 2:30ish Eastern / 11:30ish Pacific on XM103 Spice Radio’s YouPorn, I’ll be talking with Christy and Ginger about Jim Enright‘s 1993 series, Bikini Beach.

In 1993, Jim Enright and Will Divide put a bunch of pornstars on a plane and took them to Cabo to drink beers and fuck while the cameras rolled.  The result was a three part series, Bikini Beach – Parts 1, 2 and 3.  This was the first movie where I fell in love with today’s guest, Rebecca Bardoux, so I figured I’d revisit the series to see how it held up.

Basically, the fun and frolic runs out of the series as it goes along.  The first installment is the best one, and while I suspect the fun and frolic lasted throughout their trip, we saw less and less of the fun — but just as much frolic — as we got to Part 3.

Part One

The first movie starts with a long set up, it’s about 12 minutes or so before we get to the first sex scene.  After the credit sequence (which is the same in all three films, tho they boys’ names are left out of the All-Girl Part 3) we are treated to footage of the cast and crew boarding the plane, then disembarking and driving out to their rental and finally they head off to the beach.  There’s lots of cute interactions and everyone seems to be enjoying each other’s company.

The first stop is Lovers Beach where most of the cast runs around naked while the crew guys work on their tans with their shorts on.  Lots of beer on hand.

Tiffany Mynx and Randy West find a secluded area of the beach and have a shag.  She lays out a blanket and Randy pins down the corners with their towels. Tiff’s breasts have such a great bounce to them as she’s romping around getting things ready.  She sits down, posing  and looking out at the surf.  Randy plans himself down next to her and they start to cuddle.  Cuddling leads to fondling.  Fondling leads to cocksucking.  It is no secret that Tiffany is a master cocksucker and her talents are well displayed here, even while working on Randy’s average prick.  She maintains a lot of eye contact with him, so it seems less like they’re performing than they’re just being spied upon, and that candor adds to the heat.  After some decent fucking, Randy blows a most un-Randy like cumshot onto her face (you can actually see the cum!) and she cleans him off.  Good stuff.

Next up, Crystal Wilder, Jonathan Morgan and Crystal’s real life husband, Terry Thomas, find their own spot on the beach and Crystal gets double teamed (but not DP’d).  This seemed a bit more set up and perform-y, unlike the earlier Randy/Tiff pairing.  Crystal’s cock sucking was always dependent on a lot of spit — she was a trailblazer in this area — and she slather’s Jon’s cock as Terry eats her out and works a finger into her ass.  Jon jerks off near her face (he’s on his back which is always a cumshot fail position) and Terry jerks a sizable load off onto her ass.It’s a professional scene that hits the requisite marks, but doesn’t really rise above it.

Next up, Rebecca Bardoux is sunning herself and TT Boy sneaks over the rocks and surprises her.  She opens her eyes to see him above her and she lets a big smile play over her face.  He bends down to her, she throws her hat away and they make out.  She’s naked, he’s clothed.  She’s got John Lennon spec sunglasses on, and she smiles a lot.  God, I love smiling in porn.  He drops his shorts and he’s already at attention, so she makes sweet sweet mouth love to his organ. She doesn’t attempt to deep throat; choosing to focus on the head while her hand does the stroking.  She lies back and let’s him return the favor.  It’s tough to read her expression as one of pleasure or just merely tolerance for the position; but then she sits up and grinds her box into him and rocks her hips, so she seemed to be getting into it towards the end of the carpet munching.  Some more making out and he stands her up against the rock and takes her doggie style.  After some pounding, he turns her around on the rocks for some standing sex, and I couldn’t help but wonder how the rocks were digging into her back; but she took it like a trooper and when he’s about the cum, she drops to her knees and orders him to cum on her face.  He misses the first blast, but the rest hit their mark and she cleans him up.

Randy West takes Lacy Rose and Sierra to a hurricane swept abode and they make awkward small talk, with Randy repeating how the structure didn’t fare well in the hurricane and his not-as-clever-by-half joke  “Talk about a blow job.”   Awkwardness aside, Lacy and Sierra start to go at it on a broken section of wall while Randy just watches, touching himself.  Lacy’s fake books don’t look that great, especially when compared to Sierra’s all natural body.  The girls start teasing Randy and he invites himself over.  There’s a lot of laughing coming from Lacy as Sierra eats her and she’s snacking on Randy’s cock; but finally Randy comes up behind Sierra and hammers it home. Lots of porno screaming ensues and as Randy’s energetically fucking Lacy, he pulls out and jerks it on her belly as Sierra leans in to clean him off.

The last scene is subtitles “Party Time” and is back at the house.  Everyone has beers and Sierra is a little drunk and TT Boy is macking on her, and before you can think it, she’s blowing him.  This is an epic scene.  All the cast is around, but no one really is involved; they’re just cheering on the little drunk girl and the jackhammer that is TT Boy.  This is a long scene, about 20 minutes, and TT literally fucks her silly.   She pours Corona all over herself, she gets fucked around (I do mean, around) the table. TT Boy has her on her back, the table is slick with beer, sweat and love and he walks around the table, fucking her all the way. She goes nuts. NUTS!  N-V-T-S nuts! TT tries to get Rebecca and others in on the action, but they know its Sierra’s show. She ends it by taking TT’s load on her face. A decent facial.

So ends part one with a major bang, which was the AVN award winner for Best Sex Scene in 1993.  The Crystal scene and the first Sierra scenes are skippable, but the Tiffany, Rebecca and second Sierra scenes are keepers, with the Sierra scene being the grand champion.

 

PART TWO

This is subtitled “Slippery When Wet” and it starts with everyone on a fishing boat.  There’s a little “lifestyle” stuff with people catching tiny fish, but there’s not a ton of color.  Lacy Rose touches herself a bit during the opening, but finally, we settle on Summer Knight and Nick Rage who are playing with a hose, with Nick shooting streams of water into Summer’s girly bits.  They take their time playing with the hose — with Nick fingering her while she lets the stream play over her clit. This transitions into her sucking his cock for a little while, letting it “pop!” out of her mouth before he fucks her doggie style and slips his thumb up her ass.  She gets all porny-screaming at this point, having been mostly subdued up until this point.  He flips her over for the briefest of missionaries and then he cums on her face as she’s making goo-goo- eyes at the camera.  I always liked Summer, despite her bolt-ons, and she looks good here.

We pan over to see Alicia Rio and Tiffany Mynx enjoying each other’s company, and soon TT Boy is horning in on the action, having his way with Tiffany.  Alicia stays away from his manliness, letting Tiff do all the heavy lifting.  Alicia sucks Tiffany’s toes as she sits on Tiffany’s face, while TT Boy is pounding away on Tiffany’s nether regions.  There are some nice shots of Tiff’s eyes peeking out from under Alicia at this point. They move from missionary to standing doggie, and TT finally cums on Tiff’s ass.

Below deck, Lacy Rose is blowing Randy West, and shortly thereafter, Rebecca Bardoux gets in on the action, taking over the blowjob duties while Lacy site on Randy’s face.  Rebecca then rides Randy in a little more set up way while Lacy just sits back and plays with herself, occasionally slipping a hand in here and there.  Lacy gets taken doggie and Rebecca slides herself under them in an action that gets cut away from waaay too quickly.  Ostensibly, Randy cums on our girls’ faces, but there is absolutely no evidence of this, but the girls clean him off anyway.

Next up is some “play time” which is basically the girls waving and the boys showing off their underwater camera (something that will pay off in the third installment.)  There’s cheesy mexican synth music playing over these scenes, and it really does kind of take away from the “reality” that they tried to establish in the first episode.  It’s as if Enright just got bored… or maybe the crew was too drunk to come up with usable footage that far into the trip?  Who knows.

To round out the movie, Crystal Wilder, TT Boy, Sierra and Jonathan Morgan find themselves on the beach near some sort of concrete structure and they pair off to go at it. TT and Crystal hop on an ATV to find a secluded spot for some fucking and they waste no time getting down to business.  More Mexican Guitar Music over their scene, which leads me to believe it was too windy to get any usable audio, so they’re doing the best they can with what they got.  They go at it standing doggie, and you can hear her moans kind of cut thru the audio mix, but not by much.  They end up in reverse cowgirl which shows off her nice lean body and her plastic tits, then she launches off him to catch his cumshot on her chin.

Finally, Sierra and Jonathan Morgan are playing in the surf; she’s naked, he’s in a suit, and stupid porn banter ensues.  I assume this is Morgan’s fault as he can’t help but be a little insincere.  There’s a lot of kissing on the beach blanket before Jon goes in for the fingerbango. They fuck doggie and he jerks it on her butthole as he implores her to “rub it in, yeah, rub it in!” in horrible stupid porn talk.  They run off into the surf as we dissolve to Crystal writing “The End” in the sand.

This was a weaker installment by far.  The Tiff scene probably gets the highest marks because she and Alicia play well off each other and she knows how to ride TT Boy.  Everything else was far less spontaneous than the first movie and a lot more porny.

PART THREE

This is an all-girl video, and the weakest of three in terms of  spontaneity and fun. These scenes are just set up and they play out as most porn scenes do.  Not a lot special here.

We start with Alicia Rio and Summer Knight in a pool, and we get to see the underwater camera in action here.  The girls enjoy themselves enough for it not to be a total washout (no pun intended)

Next, back on the boat, and Alicia Rio, Summer Knight and Lacy Rose are playing with fishing poles, and something that phallic can only lead to one thing, and the girls go at it.  Alicia massages Summer’s tits and there’s lot of kissing which is nice.  There’s a lot of tanning oil and Summer’s feet finds their way to Alicia’s and Lacy’s twats.  The girls grind against Summer’s feet and Alicia moves up to Summer’s knee and grinds all over it.  Pretty good stuff.

Better yet was Tiffany Mynx and Lacy Rose, going at it on the boat’s deck.  Tiffany just makes a meal out of Lacy and Lacy responds to every lick.  Tiffany bends Lacy over and pours beer down her crease and eats her out as Lacy just bucks her hips and really reacts.  I’m not the hugest mid-90s g/g fan, but this was pretty great; so much so the entire cast and crew is watching them go to town.

Crystal Wilder and Sierra take their place on the deck as the sun is setting and they enjoy their sapphic love.

Last scene takes place “Back Home” in Jim Enright‘s edit suite and Lacy Rose stops by.  She shows Jim the Hustler layout from the vacation and he shows her some footage which she masturbates to.  It’s a long scene and she uses a dildo towards the end of it.  She looks great in her white wifebeater, but once it comes off we’re back to the oddly placed saline sacks… but she seems to lose herself in the moment, so its forgiven.

This was the weakest entry of the three, having really only two scenes of note — the Alicia/Summer/Lacy threesome is tight and the Tiffany/Lacy scene is great.  The other scenes are OK, but nothing all that special, just generic mid-90s porn.