XRCO Award Winners 2013

XRCOLogo136The XRCO Awards were held April 25, 2013 at Supperclub in Hollywood. The show was hosted by Misty Stone and Ed Powers, with an assist from Heart-On (trophy) girls Maddy O’Reilly and Lilly Evans.

Winners are at the top of the lists in bold.

Best 3D Release

Best Actor

Best Actress

Best Cumback

Best Director: Features

Best Director: Non-Features

Best Director: Parody

Best Epic

Best Gonzo Movie

Best Parody: Comedy

Best Parody: Comic Book

Best Parody: Drama

Best Release

Cream Dream of the Year

Female Performer of the Year

Hall of Fame

Mainstream Adult Media Favorite

Male Performer of the Year

MILF Performer of the Year

New Starlet of the Year

New Stud of the Year

Orgasmic Analist of the Year

Orgasmic Oralist of the Year

Superslut of the Year

Unsung Siren of the Year

Unsung Swordsman of the Year

Tonight on Playboy Radio: Black Throat (1985)

[UPDATE: 24 Apr 2013 – Going to talk about this movie with Christy and Ginger on Radio Sex’s YouPorn (SiriusXM 103) today around 2:40 Eastern. Article originally published on Jan 26, 2012]

We’re on Night Calls tonight, ONE HOUR EARLIER than usual because I am otherwise engaged at our normal time, so listen in at 6:40 pm Eastern / 3:40 pm Pacific.

We’ll be talking about the Dark Brothers’ 1985 movie, Black Throat.  There are two versions in the IAFD, one that lists Traci Lords and one that doesn’t.

The story, such as it is, concerns Roscoe (Tony Martino) and his rubber rat friend Mr. Bob (voiced by Johnny Jump-Up, aka Antonio Passolini) and their quest to find Madame Mambo’s House of Fella-tee-o, with the help of a pimp named Jamal (Jack Baker).

Here’s the first five minutes of the movie, which sets the tone and really underlines the low-rent nature and crazy style of the vid.

Two scenes in the movie are absolutely top notch — one stars Erica Boyer in a blistering B/B/G and the other is Christy Canyon and Peter North.  They’re worth the price of admission alone.  In a review I wrote back in the 90s, I said:

Erica Boyer is looking her punkish best. She’s well toned, bush is a little trimmed back, and she’s laying on a couch covered in black garbage bag plastic in a room that is walled in with the same plastic.

She masturbates slowly, playing with her pussy and asshole, working a finger or two into each now and then. Then Steve Powers shows up and she starts chomping his choad. He shoves her sunglasses into her snatch and starts pouting champange all over her.

Enter Marc Wallice who covers her in corn oil (I don’t think sunflower oil was all the rage until the later 80s/early 90s :-) )

She gets flipped onto her stomach and Marc then works some fingers into her ass, and follows that with his banana dick. He fucks her ass with reckless abandon. Then Steve Powers enters her pussy (as some creme oozes from her ass). She is toally slicked up from shoulders to toes. Marc spanks her. “My asshole wants you!” she screams to Marc who obliges for a DP. What makes this DP something to see is both guys are pretty active, and she rides it out like a true slut; unlike most DPs in recent memories where one guy sits still while the other guy does all the work.  Erica gets into this scene very much, screaming and yelling in rapturous delight, which we share in. Marc cums on her ass, and Steve cums on himself more or less.

If you don’t pop a chubby watching this scene, then check your pulse, you may be dead.

And then a sentence that really sums up the Dark Brothers’ aesthetic:

Mr. Bob talks to Erica’s asshole which quacks like a duck and they continue their quest for Madame Mambo.

About the Christy Canyon scene, I wrote:

In this scene, [Christy] dominates Peter North, who is chained to a table wearing a collar like they put on dogs to keep them from biting at their wounds. She is wearing studded gloves and a bustier number. Her eye makeup is 80s “punk” and she sucks cock like no one else.

She teases Peter, hitting him about the face and head with her tits (when they were quite a bit firmer, but just as ripe). “What, you afraid of big tits! Suck ’em! You’re such a baby!” she yells at Peter. “Probably reminds you of when you were a little boy — sucking on mommmy’s tits, before you went to your room…” She removes the collar and really starts to beat him up with those wonderful breasts.

She plays with her cat o’ nine tails rubbing them over her tits and her pussy. Then there is an abrupt cut (was something snipped here?) and she’s riding him reverse cowgirl; arguably looking better than she ever has before.  She engages in some dirty talk. She takes an active role and grunts and groans. They move into the patented Peter North Spoon, giving us a great view of Christy’s meaty lips wrapping around Peter’s peter.

They go around to a doggie position for a while, and then to a missionary where Peter launches a load that hits her in the forehead, then covers her tits and belly with his jizz. And then she goes in and orally cleans him up afterwards.

If you haven’t got a boner by this point, turn the movie off, there’s no hope.

Like all 80s Dark Brothers’ flicks, the theme song (also contributed by Johnny Jump-Up / Passolini) is top notch and one that I can still sing it today.  It name checks their recent movies before leading into its chorus: “Now you know New Wave Hookers, and Let Me Tell Ya Bout White Chicks, but now you’ll see some black chicks, sucking on some white dicks! BLACK THROAT!”

Fanny Award Winners Announced

fannyhosts_cropThe winners of The Fannys, the Exxxotica Fan Choice Awards, were announced on Saturday, April 20th as part of the Exxotica: Atlantic City show. The award ceremony was held in the Grand Ballroom of the Trump Taj Mahal, and it was hosted by Alexis Texas and comedians Don Jamieson and Jim Florentine.

Winners are listed in bold at the top of the lists.

Whole Lotta Love (BBW Performer of the Year)

Director of the Year

Non-White Chick of the Year (Ethnic Performer of the Year)

Most Valuable Vagina (Female Performer of the Year)

Cocksman of the Year (Male Performer of the Year)

Who’s Your Mommy? (MILF Performer of the Year)

Most Heroic Ass (Best Anal)

The Who? (Most Underrated Star)

Movie of the Year

New Girl on the Block (New Starlet of the Year)

Thirsty Girl (Best Oral)

T.S. I (Heart) You (Transsexual Performer of the Year)

Cyber Hustla (Webcam Girl of the Year)

Today on Radio Sex: Jack in the Ass (2007)

jackintheassToday at 2:40ish on Radio Sex XM103 YouPorn I’ll be talking with Ginger Lynn and Christy Canyon about Jack Napier‘s 2007 awkwardly-titled gonzo movie, Jack In The Ass.

Jack Napier is their guest on Legend’s Day today, so I asked the Twitterverse if anyone knew if Jack was ever deep throated (Jack’s cock is monstrously huge, if you’re unfamiliar) and the word came back – Annette Schwarz is the only person to have done the deed.

So, I had to see it for myself.  The definition of deep throat is a bit nebulous at times, but GODDAMN! she takes him balls deep.  It’s a struggle, but she does it.  Amazing.  But that’s at the end of the movie,and there’s 4 scenes to quickly recap before that.

Since this is gonzo, there’s no story to recap — just a variety of girls having anal sex with Jack.  Your enjoyment of the scenes will likely depend on how you feel about the girls.

I should also note that Jack seems like one of the nicest guys in the world.  He’s always smiling, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him be “mean” or domineering; he’s there to have a good time and make sure his partner(s) does too.

First up is Sandra Romain, who was one of the reigning anal queens and she has with her Maya Gates, who is almost like her Romanian Mini-Me.  They start things out with some g/g warmup while Jack is being interviewed.  The interviewer mentions that Maya has decided to give up the ass — she and Jack worked together earlier in Ridin’ Dirty 2 — and there’s no better teacher than Sandra.  The girls go off in search of Jack, with a red double-dong in tow; they find him in a bedroom and immediately go to town orally sharing his cock.  There’s an overabundance of porn-moaning, which I personally find distracting and fake, but someone must find it effective for it to last so long…  (Seriously, Maya is just sitting there, there’s no reason for her to be all moan-y.)  Sandra attempts to deep throat Jack, but she keeps one hand gripped around his base to make it look deeper than it really was.  Jack then goes right for the ass and bangs her energetically; her matching his thrusts, and then he takes on Maya who seems a bit more reserved now that she has a small log rammed up her pooper. The scene ends with Jack on his back coaxing a tiny load out which the girls then share and swap.

Next, Dana DeArmond looks awesome in fishnets and she’s super cute.  She seems unsure about how the scene is going to go, and she sums up the scene as a circus trick, to see how big a cock she can shove up her ass.  (Fingers crossed!) “His cock is like bigger than your head!  It’s like a big mouth bass!  You can mount it! I’m going to catch it and I’m going to mount it!” So Jack’s interview is intercut with Dana’s and he’s all excited and smiley about having her (“courtesy of my friend Mark” – Spiegler shout out!)  since he wants to be her friend.  (Who doesn’t?) When asked if Jack will go balls deep in her pussy, she says “Fuck that!  My pussy is fucking worthless.  My cervix is like “No way. You’re not getting in”  It’s like a bouncer with the velvet rope – you’re not getting in.”

“You know long I’ve been waiting for this?” he asks as she’s got his cock in her mouth, “Since you had only 400 friends… I think you’re cheating on the internet, since you’re the internet’s girlfriend…”

“You’re my internet friend, she says, so it’s OK.”

And then they giggle about being in each other’s  MySpace Top 8 (remember that?!?)

She lays his cock against her elbow, and it stretches down to the wrist.

He then fucks her and the camera guy mentioned “breaking down the bouncer” and you can tell she’s a bit overwhelmed by the size. (“That’s a fucking lot of cock!”)  They move into missionary doggie, and she’s not convinced it’s going to work, and she lets out little squeals and she focuses on letting it happen (“I feel like I’m dying…”) as Jack works himself in pretty much balls deep.  She warms up to it and they work their way thru a bunch of positions until he cums in her ass, which is made a little weird by Jack screaming the death screams of his unborn sperms. But it’s this oddball behavior that makes Jack such an appealing performer.

Scene 3 is the Ninety Nine, who is looking forward to fucking Jack since the last time they worked together it was a POV scene and he was too pre-occupied with the camera to fuck her properly.  So he comes in the room, cock out and hard, and just plunges it into her.  She lets out a helluva scream and they go at it.  They’ve got a good vibe, and he jokes with her “How’s your ass?” and he picks her up and she throws herself down on his rod. What she might lack in the looks depertment, she more than makes up in attitude.  As we always used to say, “personality goes a long way!”  She challenges him to fuck her.. but I guess this is to be expected from someone who has Jack’s name tattooed on her wrist.  This scene is energetic AS HELL until by end end she’s just blissed out as he’s fucking her and he’s cums inside her pussy after which she lets out the greatest little sigh.

Scene 4 has the awesomely natural Audrey Elson.  Her tits are great; they look great in their bra; they look great out of the bra.  He fucks her a bunch of ways and then asks her if she’s ready for the ass, and she settles down.  She says she is and then they go at it, and she takes it like a champ.  The scene ends with her swallowing his facial.

Last up, Annette Schwarz. She’s a sexual athlete of the highest order and this is her long jump event.  She takes Jack every which way with a spirited ease of someone who has trained her whole life.  She swallows his cock with some effort, but she gets it down.  She ends up with the thick spit drooling out of her mouth when he pulls out, but she doesn’t need to resort to quacking to make it effective.  She takes it down, and apparently can’t keep her teeth out of the way since Jack says he’s willing to put up with some pain in exchange for a deep throating; something he’s never had before, professionally or personally.

They bang each other with abandon, maintaining a lot of eye contact.  He ends up jerking a load on her tongue which she wraps up with one last deep throat before swallowing.

SCENES TO WATCH IN ORDER OF MY PREFERENCE: Annette SchwarzNinety Nine, tie between Dana DeArmond & Audrey Elson and then Sandra Romain/Maya Gates.

NOTE TO VOD RENTERS: Aline is in the opening credits, but technically her scene was a DVD Bonus, so it doesn’t seem to have made the VOD rips.

 

Radio Sex Rewind: Sexcapades (1983) and Great Sexpectations (1984)

Today at 2:40ish on Radio Sex XM103 YouPorn I’ll be talking with Ginger Lynn and Christy Canyon about two of my favorite adult movies from the early 80s, Sexcapades and Great Sexpectations; both directed by my favorite helmsman, Henri Pachard.

I talked about these two movies on Playboy Radio’s Nighcalls with Debi and Nicki back in November 2011, and figured it was a good time to revisit since Eric Edwards will be calling into the show.

I’ll just point you to the earlier reviews I wrote, since they’re pretty extensive…, just click the title cards…

Sexcapades

 

Great Sexpectations Title Card