Today on Radio Sex: Candy Stripers (1978)

candystripersposterSo we’re back on the radio again around 2:40 Eastern after a week off  — Radio Sex is now Sirius XM 102  – – and we’ll be talking about Bob Chinn‘s 1978 classic, Candy Stripers.

This movie is notorious for having two fisting scenes in it, and one of the scenes is actually a double-fisting.  The uncut version of the movie hasn’t been released on DVD or VOD for fear of prosecution over the fisting, but you can find the uncut movie online (cough, xhamster, cough).  HOWEVER, the fisting scenes are hidden on the DVD (copped from Greybeard’s review of the film over at Adult DVD Talk):

Now to the Easter Egg stuff. … Here’s how to get to the scenes: After the Arrow Trailers, the following message is shown: “Easter Egg! To find the deleted scenes, start at the Main Menu, and from ‘Play Movie’, click a combination of four arrow buttons to access this Easter Egg.” … the correct combination of buttons once you are highlighted on “Play Movie” is: Right, Down, Right, Left, Enter. You can also simply play Title 2 using your DVD player’s navigation buttons.

The original running time of the film is 84 minutes, but with the cut scenes, we’re down to 73 on the DVD/VOD offerings.

We list 16 scenes, but that’s a bit misleading; many of the scenes are intercut or are very brief.

The movie doesn’t waste any time, starting out with Cris Cassidy (billed here as Montana) and medical intern Joey Silvera banging in her bed; but the coitus is interrupted by a phone call from Cris’ friend — but she asks her friend to hold on a minute so Joey can finish up.  The whole scene is about 90 seconds.  Cris then finishes talking to her friend, setting up the rest of the movie.

Roll opening credits.

Stock shots of ambulances pulling in to a hospital and Cris getting out and going in to work while a wah-wah laden theme song plays.

The credits tell us we have three Candy Stripers — Cris Cassidy. Amber Hunt and Nancy Hoffman — and they’re there to deliver newspapers and provide comfort to the afflicted.   There are also some nurses, Lauren Black and Mimi Morgan watching over the hospital’s patients; and those patients include Paul ThomasRock Steadie and Phaedra Grant.

The plot, such as it is, concerns Nancy Hoffman‘s last day as a candy striper and her shenanigans.  No one knows where she is, so the head striper, Sarge (Sharon Thorpe), searches and finds her in the linen closet blowing a doctor (Richard Pacheco).  It’s a brief blowjob scene with him telling her to not “get any on her uniform!” when he cums on her face.  There’s lots of silly puns and musical stingers.   Sarge has an Alison Brie vibe going on, and I won’t be complaining about that.

The stripers then head out to see other patients – Amber (in cliche’d 70s rose colored glasses) goes to see Rock whom she has pee in a erlenmeyer flask and then she cleans him off with her mouth.  He goes on to tell her how he fantasized about her the night before while he jerked off.

Cut back to the nurses station and Sarge is angry that Nancy has gone missing again, but we know she’s under the nurses station eating out nurse Lauren Black.

Cris goes back to see Phaedra with a delivery of giant bananas.  They tease each other about Richard Pacheco‘s desire to get with Phaedra, and Cris leaves, promising to return soon.

Cut back to Rock and Amber in a 69.

Cut back to the Nurses Station where Nancy is now eating out Nurse Mimi Morgan.  (It’s a throwaway gag)

Cut back to Rock and Amber where he’s eating her and then he gets her doggie style and works most of his fist into her.  She then rolls onto her back where he can really work himself upside her.  He doesn’t move a lot when he’s up there, but she bucks her hips like crazy and pulls his wrist deeper into her. It’s a long sequence; almost five minutes.

Then we meet patient Paul Thomas and his guest Eileen Wells.  He has her finger herself and let him taste them.  Nancy Hoffman walks in on them and is invited into the action.

Sarge busts into Phaedra’s room, interrupting her banana masturbation session, and Cris comes into give her a sponge bath and finds the banana sticking out of her snatch.  Phaedra is mortally embarrassed, and Cris lends a loving hand.  She teases that Phaedra would live Dr. Hart to be there, but Dr. Hart can’t do this — as she rotates the banana all the way around and then Cris goes down on her.

Back to PT, Eileen and Nancy and Nancy is eating out Eileen (this girl eats a ton of pussy in this movie!) and they strip down, and then Eileen tells Nancy to stick a finger in, then “stick them all in” and we have our second fisting of the movie.  Eileen massages herself while Nancy keeps herself steady, gently rocking in rhythem with Eileen’s hips and then thrusting a bit more.  PT warns Nancy “Don’t lose your watch!” and then after a few moments, an unexpected turn of events – Nancy slides a second hand into Eileen.  (Granted, Nancy was a small girl, but still.) PT gets into the action, leaning out of the bed to suckle on Eileen’s left breast and to massage her clit.  They also make out a bit.  ancy then is throwing her whole body into the endeavor, smiling like its Christmas morning. Finally its over, and Nancy slips herself out and goes back to eating before a cut where Eileen is in bed with PT while he’s fucking Nancy doggie style. Then he fucks Eileen doggie while Nancy is under them and he cums on Nancy’s face.  (She doesn’t do a great job of dodging his balls while he’s banging  Eileen – looks like it could have hurt…)

Cut to a really nice overhead shot of Cris and Phaedra in a 69 as they wrap up their lovemaking.

That gets us thru the first seven pairings of the movie, and there’s only a half hour to go…

amber_csAmber (in her heart shaped rose glasses) goes home to bang intern Joey, and while she wishes it was a little more romantic, she has no trouble stepping out of her uniform to reveal her naked form.  There’s a cute bit of them in bed and she complains about his socks being on…

Cut back to the hospital and everyone is getting ready for Nancy’s going away party. The operating theatre is decked out in streamers and everyone is there – except Amber and Joey who are having their own party  – and Sarge.  But then, speak of the devil, there’s Sarge! And she’s sad that everyone thinks she’s a prude, so she downs her drink (vodka?) and tells Nancy to “eat [her] out and get the party started!”

Back with Joey and Amber, he makes the confession that he wants to suck her asshole, and she treats it like the most romantic thing ever.

Back at the orgy, we get the rest of our scene pairings out of the way all at once.  We find out that Sarge’s name tag is “Virginia O’Neil”

Nancy is literally dripping wet as Sarge eats her out.  Everyone gets a little  action, and orgy is well covered.  Shots linger just long enough to build excitement and you can tell who everyone is.  The only newcomer is Don Fernando who is brought in to make the pairings work out, and he and his shaggy hair bang both the nurses, Nurse Lauren Black and then Mimi Morgan in mish and scissor before she jerks him off. (The credits say that David Clark was in the orgy, but I can’t pick him out.  Anyone?)

The orgy winds down with PT blowing his load on Eileen’s face and she and Cris clean him off.  Meanwhile Richard Pacheco nails his patient Phaedra Grant bring their story to a close as he cums (no hands, John Leslie style) on her belly.  Since Don turned his attentions to Mimi, Lauren went over and finished her story off with a Rock Steadie blow job until he came on her face.

Cut back to the apartment, and Joey and Amber are humping away in mish until he cums on her box.  (Man, her hip bones are PRONOUNCED.)

Finally, we’re back in the OR and Sarge is laid on the table and all the nurses, patients and remaining candy stripers service her, while Sarge eats Eileen.

Finally, we’re back at the Nurses Station the next day and chesty new Candy Striper, Bron White, is starting her new job.  The nurses drool over her large chest and as Bron walks away, she drops a folder and bends over to pick it up, giving us a nice shot of her ass thru her panties which stays on the screen as the credits roll.

For an excellent analysis of this movie and the comedy within, please check out one of my favorite reviews on the movie: We Have No Bananas: Joke Structure in CANDY STRIPERS (1978) over at Exploding Kinetoscope

Bob Chinn is one of my favorite directors of this era (Hot and Saucy Pizza Girls, Let’s Get Physical) and this is one of my favorites of his.  It proves you don’t need a real plot – just a scenario to hang things on.  “Three Candy Stripers will do anything to make their patients feel better.”  Done.  Easy peasy.  Everyone at one time or another has had a doctor or nurse fantasy, so we got that going for us here too.

The girls are all uniformly attractive — and hairy, this was the late 70s after all — and seem to enjoy what they’re doing.  They’re partners in the proceedings as opposed to so many modern set ups where they are treated like props.

Since I know I’ll be asked, best scenes for me were the Cris Cassidy / Phaedra Grant and the Amber Hunt / Rock Steadie pairings.  And for Ginger – 4.5 out of 5 dicks.

Yahoo takes over the world

So the big tech news this week is that Yahoo acquired Tumblr for a whopping $1.1 billion dollars. That’s Billion by the way, not million. I myself have a tumblr where I post zanier moments that would be censored by my Flickr, which coincidentally is also owned by Yahoo. There are rumours that Tumblr would eventually be censored similar to Flickr, requiring a login to see NSFW stuff, but so far Yahoo has issued denials.

Speaking of Flickr, Yahoo also gave it a makeover the same day it acquired Tumblr. They gave every user 1 terabyte of storage space and redid the interface so that it emphasises the photos more with the side effect of eating more bandwidth. If you want to see an example, you can view my AVN Expo and Awards photos that I posted without a writeup in January.*

Remy Lecroix picking Lexi Belle's nose

Now does the new terabyte mean I will post more photos of the girls from the archives since space is no longer a concern? No, of course not. Space was never really an issue. Rather it was time and the new bandwidth leech interface eats up more time while I try to tag the photos with the names of the performers. No bueno. Oh well, I wanted to vent and highlight photos 4 months late.

Elexis Monroe dancing with Samantha Ryan

*Life had gotten messy for me that month and writing about porn did not seem important in the big scheme of things. I should apologise because these glitches will surely happen again.

Today on Radio Sex: Blonde Brigade (2000)

blondebrigade2000In honor of today’s guest, Jill Kelly, I’ll be on Radio Sex’s YouPorn (Sirius XM 103, 2:40ish Eastern), talking to Christy and Ginger about Jim Holliday‘s movie Blonde Brigade, the fifth installment in the informally known “Jim and Jill” series.

The Jim and Jill movies were vignette style films directed by Holliday, whose scenes were introduced by Jill  and Jim who shared an easy going banter and very likable presence.  The irony of this title is so many of the women featured in it are not actually blonde, but brunette… no matter, tho; it’s a pretty good collection of scenes no matter the hair color.

Holliday, until his passing in 2004,  was one of the leading historians of adult and his out-of-print 1986 book, Only the Best inspired a compilation series of the same name.  As Dirty Movie Devotee wrote over at Videotramp:

“Holliday would do several more compilations under the ONLY THE BEST and LEGENDS OF PORN banners for Cal Vista, then got miffed when they used the now copyrighted titles for further tapes for which they did not seek his involvement. He took his act to rival company VCA who enabled him to assemble the ONLY THE VERY BEST (what a difference one word makes !) signature series with extra scenes he got to shoot with contemporary starlets added for bonus enticement. Industry giant VCA, run by the venerable Russ Hampshire, was also the place where Holliday’s directorial talents were nurtured into full bloom. The rest, as they say, is history and now sadly so is he, though he would be the first to appreciate the irony regarding his humble beginnings chronicling the evolution of erotica.”

The movie features music by Reno and the Rumrunners and they score the movie with fun surf music.

They open the movie in front of a green-screened beach with targets on their chests and introduce themselves in a self-deprecating manner, (“I’m Jim Holliday, and I reckon you know who you are…“) with Jill introducing herself as “the vain, narcissistic, egotiscal Jill Kelly.”  They state that the show is about feedback, from fans and critics alike.  They get right into and introduce us to Tracy Love and Julian who are offering up some “hot buttfucking action.”

And we’re right into a closeup of Tracy inhaling Julian’s member and then riding him cowgirl.  He’s wearing a condom and he’s without his tribal sleeve and sporting a goatee.  After the cowgirl they move to mish anal which also shows off her clit ring.  He’s not stroking particularly deep, and she’s got her hand on his cock and he’s sliding it in.  They move to doggie mish and he jerks off all over her face and chest.

Their next intro has the upcoming scene keyed in behind them as Jim waxes eloquent about where the industry is going, and he figured toes and assholes were the next big thing, so in an effort to give the fans what they want, they introduce Bobbi Bliss and Daisy Chain (a blonde in a brunette wig) who then do their own introduction since “J and J aren’t that into it, but we are…”   Daisy shows off Bobbi’s foot and begins to worship it.  After a spell, Bobbi returns the favor and up until this point, there hasn’t been a lot of “porn” just a lot of foot licking with Daisy rubbing herself a bit… and then, midway through the scene, they introduce special guest Felecia, and Daisy and Bobbi worship her feet.  Eventually they move on to a more classic g/g/g scene with a black rubber dong, but the feet are not ignored.  If you’re into feet, this is a homerun.  If you’re not, you might wonder what all the fuss is about… or maybe it converts you. :-)

“Time to hit the FF!” they say as the next intro starts and Jim talks about going on Jill’s “internet thing” and reading that someone thought he was “the bomb” which made him feel good.  They transition into a scene between Jill and her then beau, Julian.

Jill starts out on her back with Julian’s face buried in her quim, and she rather seems to like it.  They move to the blowjob and now Julian is on his back, and she’s slobbering (literally) all over his cock, and they move to sidesaddle fucking.  (Julian’s rascal is wrapped.) There are lots of full body shots, and olliday and his team know how to show off their performers.  Jill rolls over into a reverse cowgirl and Julian’s thrusting becomes more animated. She pivots into a regular cowgirl until Julian jumps out from under her so he can cum on her face.  Holliday makes sure that gravity is used to his advantage, and the guys are always above the girls when ejaculating. “Guess I’m not as vain as you thought!” she says with a mess on her face.

Next intro – “the thing I like about Jim Holliday’s movie is he gets girls who likes to fuck.” Jim adds, “Spend money on girls, not on fancy sets.” which sets up a large all-girl orgy.  Felecia and Tabitha Stevens (who is so young and cute and giggly here) are the “Girls Who Can’t Cook” and Tabitha surprises Felecia with a “Brown Eye Buffet” made up of April FlowersBobbi BlissDaisy ChainGinger PaigeJessica DrakeOlivia Parrish and Sydnee Steele.  The girls’ asses are all in the air and Felecia makes her way down the line. Some of the girls are clad in body stockings with various patterns.  None of the girls interact with each other, they’re just there to get their asses eaten a little bit.

Another intro, another reinforcement that Jim is “all about the fans.” Jim admits that it’s a goof having all the brunettes in a movie called “Blonde Brigade” and keeping with the low cost vibe, the next scene has Dillon Day walking into the Brown Eye Buffet and picking out Sydnee Steele and April Flowers.  April is on her back while Sydnee straddles April’s face and Sydnee’s face is buried in Dillon’s crotch.  Dillon adds a little digital stimulation to Sydnee’s girl parts. Sydnee and April move into a 69 and so April can blow Dillon, and Dillon manages to get most of Sydnee’s foot in his mouth. Cut to Dillon (condom) fucking April while Sydnee looks on. April is on top of Dillon while Sydnee straddles his face. It’s an interesting position as April gets to bend over and eat Sydnee’s ass.  Then it’s Sydnee’s turn doggie style the reverse cowgirl and then Dillon stands over the two girls’ faces and grunts out a load on their cheeks.

Intro:  Jim: “Jill – name two significant things that took place on April 12, 1961.  Del Shannon’s Runaway entered the charts, and Yuri Gagarin went into space. I wonder how many of those Soviets? Russians? are floating out in space…” Jill: “I know one — Major Tom!”

Evan Stone then wanders into the Brown Eye Buffet and takes Bobbi Bliss and (his then girlfriend) Jessica Drake into a bedroom set.  They’re upset he took them out of a “butt tasting experience” but he tells them his minor in college was butt-tasting, and he, er, cracks the books… the girls get him on the bed and put their feet all over him and he exclaims that he’s heard “of this place called ‘Footsuckers Heaven’ and that they give great blowjobs there.” So capital letter Jessica Drake (she wasn’t all e.e. cummings yet) starts on him, but it quickly outshone by Bobbi’s impressive, effortless DT skills as she swallows Evan to the root. Everyone gets fucked (with a condom) and everyone cums, with Evan cumming last on their faces. (Not the greatest pop he ever did.) But the biggest sin is he says “Kiss each other” and they turn to one another, tongues out, and they CUT AWAY!  GAAAH!

In this intro, Jim cops to pissing in the Pacific Ocean and Jill cops to watering Lake Havasu and we end up with Ginger Paige and Ian Daniels starting out with Ian worshiping her feet

They fuck missionary (condom) and she keeps her corset on the whole time… however, it like less of a porn fuck than just two people going at it.  She then rides him cowgirl, they go to doggie (sans corset) and he cums on her butt.

Last intro an “We make movies that a guy and girl can jerk off to…  If you want short, economical scenes that you can wait a whole week  one scene a night to get yourself off — here’s your place.” And they intro the last scene between (not yet enhanced) Allysin Chaynes and Jill Kelly. They use a lot of toys, including a thin dildo that slips on the end of Jill’s finger to slide in Allysin’s ass. There’s only a little bit of kissing.

End credits which include the title card:

As yet, Harry Houdini hasn’t made it back… neither has General Alfredo Stoessner… but rainwater lives on… think about it!

This is perfectly acceptable trifle of a movie.  Jim and Jill are perfectly affable and genial hosts.  If you’re a foot person, this movie is totally aimed your way.  If you’re not, you might be hitting the FF button here and there.

Best scenes are #s 3 (Jill/Julian), #5 (Sydnee/April/Dillon) and #6 (Bobbi/Jessica/Evan).  Honorable mention to Scene 7, Ginger and Ian.