Today on Radio Sex: Blonde Brigade (2000)

blondebrigade2000In honor of today’s guest, Jill Kelly, I’ll be on Radio Sex’s YouPorn (Sirius XM 103, 2:40ish Eastern), talking to Christy and Ginger about Jim Holliday‘s movie Blonde Brigade, the fifth installment in the informally known “Jim and Jill” series.

The Jim and Jill movies were vignette style films directed by Holliday, whose scenes were introduced by Jill  and Jim who shared an easy going banter and very likable presence.  The irony of this title is so many of the women featured in it are not actually blonde, but brunette… no matter, tho; it’s a pretty good collection of scenes no matter the hair color.

Holliday, until his passing in 2004,  was one of the leading historians of adult and his out-of-print 1986 book, Only the Best inspired a compilation series of the same name.  As Dirty Movie Devotee wrote over at Videotramp:

“Holliday would do several more compilations under the ONLY THE BEST and LEGENDS OF PORN banners for Cal Vista, then got miffed when they used the now copyrighted titles for further tapes for which they did not seek his involvement. He took his act to rival company VCA who enabled him to assemble the ONLY THE VERY BEST (what a difference one word makes !) signature series with extra scenes he got to shoot with contemporary starlets added for bonus enticement. Industry giant VCA, run by the venerable Russ Hampshire, was also the place where Holliday’s directorial talents were nurtured into full bloom. The rest, as they say, is history and now sadly so is he, though he would be the first to appreciate the irony regarding his humble beginnings chronicling the evolution of erotica.”

The movie features music by Reno and the Rumrunners and they score the movie with fun surf music.

They open the movie in front of a green-screened beach with targets on their chests and introduce themselves in a self-deprecating manner, (“I’m Jim Holliday, and I reckon you know who you are…“) with Jill introducing herself as “the vain, narcissistic, egotiscal Jill Kelly.”  They state that the show is about feedback, from fans and critics alike.  They get right into and introduce us to Tracy Love and Julian who are offering up some “hot buttfucking action.”

And we’re right into a closeup of Tracy inhaling Julian’s member and then riding him cowgirl.  He’s wearing a condom and he’s without his tribal sleeve and sporting a goatee.  After the cowgirl they move to mish anal which also shows off her clit ring.  He’s not stroking particularly deep, and she’s got her hand on his cock and he’s sliding it in.  They move to doggie mish and he jerks off all over her face and chest.

Their next intro has the upcoming scene keyed in behind them as Jim waxes eloquent about where the industry is going, and he figured toes and assholes were the next big thing, so in an effort to give the fans what they want, they introduce Bobbi Bliss and Daisy Chain (a blonde in a brunette wig) who then do their own introduction since “J and J aren’t that into it, but we are…”   Daisy shows off Bobbi’s foot and begins to worship it.  After a spell, Bobbi returns the favor and up until this point, there hasn’t been a lot of “porn” just a lot of foot licking with Daisy rubbing herself a bit… and then, midway through the scene, they introduce special guest Felecia, and Daisy and Bobbi worship her feet.  Eventually they move on to a more classic g/g/g scene with a black rubber dong, but the feet are not ignored.  If you’re into feet, this is a homerun.  If you’re not, you might wonder what all the fuss is about… or maybe it converts you. :-)

“Time to hit the FF!” they say as the next intro starts and Jim talks about going on Jill’s “internet thing” and reading that someone thought he was “the bomb” which made him feel good.  They transition into a scene between Jill and her then beau, Julian.

Jill starts out on her back with Julian’s face buried in her quim, and she rather seems to like it.  They move to the blowjob and now Julian is on his back, and she’s slobbering (literally) all over his cock, and they move to sidesaddle fucking.  (Julian’s rascal is wrapped.) There are lots of full body shots, and olliday and his team know how to show off their performers.  Jill rolls over into a reverse cowgirl and Julian’s thrusting becomes more animated. She pivots into a regular cowgirl until Julian jumps out from under her so he can cum on her face.  Holliday makes sure that gravity is used to his advantage, and the guys are always above the girls when ejaculating. “Guess I’m not as vain as you thought!” she says with a mess on her face.

Next intro – “the thing I like about Jim Holliday’s movie is he gets girls who likes to fuck.” Jim adds, “Spend money on girls, not on fancy sets.” which sets up a large all-girl orgy.  Felecia and Tabitha Stevens (who is so young and cute and giggly here) are the “Girls Who Can’t Cook” and Tabitha surprises Felecia with a “Brown Eye Buffet” made up of April Flowers, Bobbi Bliss, Daisy Chain, Ginger Paige, Jessica Drake, Olivia Parrish and Sydnee Steele.  The girls’ asses are all in the air and Felecia makes her way down the line. Some of the girls are clad in body stockings with various patterns.  None of the girls interact with each other, they’re just there to get their asses eaten a little bit.

Another intro, another reinforcement that Jim is “all about the fans.” Jim admits that it’s a goof having all the brunettes in a movie called “Blonde Brigade” and keeping with the low cost vibe, the next scene has Dillon Day walking into the Brown Eye Buffet and picking out Sydnee Steele and April Flowers.  April is on her back while Sydnee straddles April’s face and Sydnee’s face is buried in Dillon’s crotch.  Dillon adds a little digital stimulation to Sydnee’s girl parts. Sydnee and April move into a 69 and so April can blow Dillon, and Dillon manages to get most of Sydnee’s foot in his mouth. Cut to Dillon (condom) fucking April while Sydnee looks on. April is on top of Dillon while Sydnee straddles his face. It’s an interesting position as April gets to bend over and eat Sydnee’s ass.  Then it’s Sydnee’s turn doggie style the reverse cowgirl and then Dillon stands over the two girls’ faces and grunts out a load on their cheeks.

Intro:  Jim: “Jill – name two significant things that took place on April 12, 1961.  Del Shannon’s Runaway entered the charts, and Yuri Gagarin went into space. I wonder how many of those Soviets? Russians? are floating out in space…“ Jill: “I know one — Major Tom!”

Evan Stone then wanders into the Brown Eye Buffet and takes Bobbi Bliss and (his then girlfriend) Jessica Drake into a bedroom set.  They’re upset he took them out of a “butt tasting experience” but he tells them his minor in college was butt-tasting, and he, er, cracks the books… the girls get him on the bed and put their feet all over him and he exclaims that he’s heard “of this place called ‘Footsuckers Heaven’ and that they give great blowjobs there.” So capital letter Jessica Drake (she wasn’t all e.e. cummings yet) starts on him, but it quickly outshone by Bobbi’s impressive, effortless DT skills as she swallows Evan to the root. Everyone gets fucked (with a condom) and everyone cums, with Evan cumming last on their faces. (Not the greatest pop he ever did.) But the biggest sin is he says “Kiss each other” and they turn to one another, tongues out, and they CUT AWAY!  GAAAH!

In this intro, Jim cops to pissing in the Pacific Ocean and Jill cops to watering Lake Havasu and we end up with Ginger Paige and Ian Daniels starting out with Ian worshiping her feet

They fuck missionary (condom) and she keeps her corset on the whole time… however, it like less of a porn fuck than just two people going at it.  She then rides him cowgirl, they go to doggie (sans corset) and he cums on her butt.

Last intro an “We make movies that a guy and girl can jerk off to…  If you want short, economical scenes that you can wait a whole week  one scene a night to get yourself off — here’s your place.” And they intro the last scene between (not yet enhanced) Allysin Chaynes and Jill Kelly. They use a lot of toys, including a thin dildo that slips on the end of Jill’s finger to slide in Allysin’s ass. There’s only a little bit of kissing.

End credits which include the title card:

As yet, Harry Houdini hasn’t made it back… neither has General Alfredo Stoessner… but rainwater lives on… think about it!

This is perfectly acceptable trifle of a movie.  Jim and Jill are perfectly affable and genial hosts.  If you’re a foot person, this movie is totally aimed your way.  If you’re not, you might be hitting the FF button here and there.

Best scenes are #s 3 (Jill/Julian), #5 (Sydnee/April/Dillon) and #6 (Bobbi/Jessica/Evan).  Honorable mention to Scene 7, Ginger and Ian.