Today on Radio Sex: Candy Stripers (1978)

candystripersposterSo we’re back on the radio again around 2:40 Eastern after a week off  — Radio Sex is now Sirius XM 102  – – and we’ll be talking about Bob Chinn‘s 1978 classic, Candy Stripers.

This movie is notorious for having two fisting scenes in it, and one of the scenes is actually a double-fisting.  The uncut version of the movie hasn’t been released on DVD or VOD for fear of prosecution over the fisting, but you can find the uncut movie online (cough, xhamster, cough).  HOWEVER, the fisting scenes are hidden on the DVD (copped from Greybeard’s review of the film over at Adult DVD Talk):

Now to the Easter Egg stuff. … Here’s how to get to the scenes: After the Arrow Trailers, the following message is shown: “Easter Egg! To find the deleted scenes, start at the Main Menu, and from ‘Play Movie’, click a combination of four arrow buttons to access this Easter Egg.” … the correct combination of buttons once you are highlighted on “Play Movie” is: Right, Down, Right, Left, Enter. You can also simply play Title 2 using your DVD player’s navigation buttons.

The original running time of the film is 84 minutes, but with the cut scenes, we’re down to 73 on the DVD/VOD offerings.

We list 16 scenes, but that’s a bit misleading; many of the scenes are intercut or are very brief.

The movie doesn’t waste any time, starting out with Cris Cassidy (billed here as Montana) and medical intern Joey Silvera banging in her bed; but the coitus is interrupted by a phone call from Cris’ friend — but she asks her friend to hold on a minute so Joey can finish up.  The whole scene is about 90 seconds.  Cris then finishes talking to her friend, setting up the rest of the movie.

Roll opening credits.

Stock shots of ambulances pulling in to a hospital and Cris getting out and going in to work while a wah-wah laden theme song plays.

The credits tell us we have three Candy Stripers — Cris Cassidy. Amber Hunt and Nancy Hoffman — and they’re there to deliver newspapers and provide comfort to the afflicted.   There are also some nurses, Lauren Black and Mimi Morgan watching over the hospital’s patients; and those patients include Paul ThomasRock Steadie and Phaedra Grant.

The plot, such as it is, concerns Nancy Hoffman‘s last day as a candy striper and her shenanigans.  No one knows where she is, so the head striper, Sarge (Sharon Thorpe), searches and finds her in the linen closet blowing a doctor (Richard Pacheco).  It’s a brief blowjob scene with him telling her to not “get any on her uniform!” when he cums on her face.  There’s lots of silly puns and musical stingers.   Sarge has an Alison Brie vibe going on, and I won’t be complaining about that.

The stripers then head out to see other patients – Amber (in cliche’d 70s rose colored glasses) goes to see Rock whom she has pee in a erlenmeyer flask and then she cleans him off with her mouth.  He goes on to tell her how he fantasized about her the night before while he jerked off.

Cut back to the nurses station and Sarge is angry that Nancy has gone missing again, but we know she’s under the nurses station eating out nurse Lauren Black.

Cris goes back to see Phaedra with a delivery of giant bananas.  They tease each other about Richard Pacheco‘s desire to get with Phaedra, and Cris leaves, promising to return soon.

Cut back to Rock and Amber in a 69.

Cut back to the Nurses Station where Nancy is now eating out Nurse Mimi Morgan.  (It’s a throwaway gag)

Cut back to Rock and Amber where he’s eating her and then he gets her doggie style and works most of his fist into her.  She then rolls onto her back where he can really work himself upside her.  He doesn’t move a lot when he’s up there, but she bucks her hips like crazy and pulls his wrist deeper into her. It’s a long sequence; almost five minutes.

Then we meet patient Paul Thomas and his guest Eileen Wells.  He has her finger herself and let him taste them.  Nancy Hoffman walks in on them and is invited into the action.

Sarge busts into Phaedra’s room, interrupting her banana masturbation session, and Cris comes into give her a sponge bath and finds the banana sticking out of her snatch.  Phaedra is mortally embarrassed, and Cris lends a loving hand.  She teases that Phaedra would live Dr. Hart to be there, but Dr. Hart can’t do this — as she rotates the banana all the way around and then Cris goes down on her.

Back to PT, Eileen and Nancy and Nancy is eating out Eileen (this girl eats a ton of pussy in this movie!) and they strip down, and then Eileen tells Nancy to stick a finger in, then “stick them all in” and we have our second fisting of the movie.  Eileen massages herself while Nancy keeps herself steady, gently rocking in rhythem with Eileen’s hips and then thrusting a bit more.  PT warns Nancy “Don’t lose your watch!” and then after a few moments, an unexpected turn of events – Nancy slides a second hand into Eileen.  (Granted, Nancy was a small girl, but still.) PT gets into the action, leaning out of the bed to suckle on Eileen’s left breast and to massage her clit.  They also make out a bit.  ancy then is throwing her whole body into the endeavor, smiling like its Christmas morning. Finally its over, and Nancy slips herself out and goes back to eating before a cut where Eileen is in bed with PT while he’s fucking Nancy doggie style. Then he fucks Eileen doggie while Nancy is under them and he cums on Nancy’s face.  (She doesn’t do a great job of dodging his balls while he’s banging  Eileen – looks like it could have hurt…)

Cut to a really nice overhead shot of Cris and Phaedra in a 69 as they wrap up their lovemaking.

That gets us thru the first seven pairings of the movie, and there’s only a half hour to go…

amber_csAmber (in her heart shaped rose glasses) goes home to bang intern Joey, and while she wishes it was a little more romantic, she has no trouble stepping out of her uniform to reveal her naked form.  There’s a cute bit of them in bed and she complains about his socks being on…

Cut back to the hospital and everyone is getting ready for Nancy’s going away party. The operating theatre is decked out in streamers and everyone is there – except Amber and Joey who are having their own party  – and Sarge.  But then, speak of the devil, there’s Sarge! And she’s sad that everyone thinks she’s a prude, so she downs her drink (vodka?) and tells Nancy to “eat [her] out and get the party started!”

Back with Joey and Amber, he makes the confession that he wants to suck her asshole, and she treats it like the most romantic thing ever.

Back at the orgy, we get the rest of our scene pairings out of the way all at once.  We find out that Sarge’s name tag is “Virginia O’Neil”

Nancy is literally dripping wet as Sarge eats her out.  Everyone gets a little  action, and orgy is well covered.  Shots linger just long enough to build excitement and you can tell who everyone is.  The only newcomer is Don Fernando who is brought in to make the pairings work out, and he and his shaggy hair bang both the nurses, Nurse Lauren Black and then Mimi Morgan in mish and scissor before she jerks him off. (The credits say that David Clark was in the orgy, but I can’t pick him out.  Anyone?)

The orgy winds down with PT blowing his load on Eileen’s face and she and Cris clean him off.  Meanwhile Richard Pacheco nails his patient Phaedra Grant bring their story to a close as he cums (no hands, John Leslie style) on her belly.  Since Don turned his attentions to Mimi, Lauren went over and finished her story off with a Rock Steadie blow job until he came on her face.

Cut back to the apartment, and Joey and Amber are humping away in mish until he cums on her box.  (Man, her hip bones are PRONOUNCED.)

Finally, we’re back in the OR and Sarge is laid on the table and all the nurses, patients and remaining candy stripers service her, while Sarge eats Eileen.

Finally, we’re back at the Nurses Station the next day and chesty new Candy Striper, Bron White, is starting her new job.  The nurses drool over her large chest and as Bron walks away, she drops a folder and bends over to pick it up, giving us a nice shot of her ass thru her panties which stays on the screen as the credits roll.

For an excellent analysis of this movie and the comedy within, please check out one of my favorite reviews on the movie: We Have No Bananas: Joke Structure in CANDY STRIPERS (1978) over at Exploding Kinetoscope

Bob Chinn is one of my favorite directors of this era (Hot and Saucy Pizza Girls, Let’s Get Physical) and this is one of my favorites of his.  It proves you don’t need a real plot – just a scenario to hang things on.  “Three Candy Stripers will do anything to make their patients feel better.”  Done.  Easy peasy.  Everyone at one time or another has had a doctor or nurse fantasy, so we got that going for us here too.

The girls are all uniformly attractive — and hairy, this was the late 70s after all — and seem to enjoy what they’re doing.  They’re partners in the proceedings as opposed to so many modern set ups where they are treated like props.

Since I know I’ll be asked, best scenes for me were the Cris Cassidy / Phaedra Grant and the Amber Hunt / Rock Steadie pairings.  And for Ginger – 4.5 out of 5 dicks.