All posts by vanzetti

Today on Radio Sex: Bobby Sox (1996)

bobbysox_dvdAs usual, I’ll be on Sirius XM103 Radio Sex’ YouPorn with Christy Canyon and Ginger Lynn today around 2:40pm Eastern to discuss Paul Thomas 1996 movie, Bobby Sox.

One of the worst things to ever happen to porn was the VCD.  The VideoCD was the step between VHS and DVD.  It was huge in Asia and could hold 7 or 80 minutes of video depending on what size CD was used. Vivid, hoping to capitalize on these new markets and this new format, edited all of their features down to 74 minutes, and in their wisdom, released these edits on DVD when that format took off.

To make matters worse, Vivid faked “Multi-Angle Viewing” which was a feature of DVDs that allowed you to change the angle of the scene you were watching.  This feature was used by the Virtual Sex… simulations where the production team would run two cameras on a given scene and the viewer could choose which angle to view.  Vivid, tho, didn’t shoot their features with two cameras, so they’d fake it, and they’d edit the fuck out of their sex scenes, putting half the scene in Angle 1 and the other in Angle 2.  this made for very disjointed viewing.  An icon would pop up during the movie at which time you could click your angle button to see some other action; but it wasn’t like the Virtual Sex titles where that angle was actually the same action from another viewpoint; if you were watching a blowjob scene, you’d see a different part of the blowjob when you changed angles.  So if you were hoping to see that great eye contact from a different side, you were out of  luck because that eye contact was only in that one part and the alternate angle was from earlier or later in that same position.

What this means is a lot of movies which were 2 hours long on VHS were cut to death… and Bobby Sox is no different; tho the VOD version they’re streaming at HotMovies is 106 minutes which is down from it’s original running time of 144 minutes.  Those missing 38 minutes were taken by removing Scenes 5 and 8

I reviewed this movie back in ’96 and when I heard Steven St. Croix was going to be on the show today, I figured I’d revisit it.

Bobby Sox is a gentle take-off of the Joe Dante film, Matinee.  In Matinee, John Goodman plays a small-time movie promoted who travels from small town to small town around the country promoting his schlocky horror movies, in this case “MANT – half man, half ant!”  In Bobby Sox, Jamie Gillis is the impresario and he’s driven around by Jon Dough.

The town is made up of young lovers Nikki Tyler and Steven St. Croix; Nikki’s mother, Shanna McCullough and soda jerk Bobby Vitale who also has a crush on Nikki. Other residents include Jenteal and Chelsea Blue, cops Jay Ashley and TT Boy.

I don’t know if it’s right to call a porno “affectionate” but this movie was “affectionate” towards its characters, the town and the power of the movies.

Here’s my review from 96 for the play by play:

Synopsis

Jon Dough and Jamie Gillis are small time film promoters who roll into a small town. Nikki Tyler and Steve St. Croix are boy/girl friend, but he’s a bit domineering. Bobby Vitale is Nikki’s long time friend who has the secret crush on her. There are other folks around too.Jamie ends up pissing off Steven who has him framed for kidnapping. Nikki rescues Jamie who stays with Nikki’s mom, Shanna McCullough. Jamie and Shanna fall in love.

Scene Breakdown

Nikki Tyler/Steven St. Croix
I can’t figure out if Nikki is attractive or not. By all accounts she should be, but the fake eyebrows and tits swing over to the “not so much side” but something unqualified makes her attractive… maybe its her super energetic blowjobs (that look better than they probably feel)We start with an outdoor scene. There some dry humping as the credits roll. Nikki doesn’t want to go any further, but she relents and blows him. It’s an energetic BJ which then turns into him eating her. She keeps squeezing her eyes shut which is a little disconcerting. She does this throughout her sex scenes in the film.

Steve jerks off towards her and she cleans him up afterwards.

Jon Dough/Jenteal/Chelsea Blue
Wow is Chelsea Blue attractive! Natural tits, she seems on the tall side, a nice pouty sultry look… mmmm.A bizarre scene in a black box theatre. The girls are auditioning Jon, and he’s auditioning them. There’s a lot of nipple slapping, something I don’t quite understand. Happily both girls have natural tits, so things start off on the right foot.

Jon orders them around to prance about, pull their top up, down, etc. Jenteal looks rather disinterested about the whole thing… especially the part when Jon grabs her by the throat. There is a great beaver shot of Jen, reclining back in RC position on top of a clothed john, her ass hanging down between his legs. Yummy. Jen gets eaten out in this position. There’s nothing new from here on out, it’s your basic she-sucks-while-she-fucks scene, though there is a very nicely shot extended RC (condomed) by Jenteal. Then an OK RAC by Chelsea, but too much gyno, not enough full body. Jon cums on her box.

Shanna McCullough
Shanna (now with enhanced tits… sniff) masturbates with a green metallic vibrator while looking at a swingers s&m magazine.

Nikki Tyler/ Steven St. Croix
Nikki does some cheesecake style posing then Steve eats her out. Another energetic BJ, then some standing doggie. on a forklift.They move down into the drivers seat of the forklift which gives them a few acrobatic opportunities. Steve then cums on her box.

He tells her that now she’s his and she better not hang out with Jamie anymore, and she tells him to fuck himself. So, to get revenge, he frames Jamie for the kidnapping of one of the townie girls.Bobby Vitale then uses MS Word (!!! and it kept beeping!) to get into the prison computers to reschedule to cops’ pickup of Jamie Gillis…

Jay Ashley/TT Boy/Kim Kummings
Outdoor scene. They’re cops. She starts sucking them off. Some standing mish. Kim’s tit’s seem real. So far, only Nikki has fakes in this movie… is Paul Thomas still lurking?There’s some nice RC, though as before, there is a bit too much gyno. I bet this would be a bit more satisfying in the cable version. Jay leaves TT Boy to do the standing doggie, then some standing mish anal against an old truck. TT cums near her ass.

While the cops get laid, Bobby and Nikki free Jamie and smuggle him to Nikki’s house.

Nikki Tyler/ Bobby Vitale
Finally, all those years of sexual tension break loose. Nikki’s upset over Steve, and Bobby has had blue balls for 18 years. So they have a tryst in an adult movie theatre. It’s a pretty hot scene, all things considered. It’s well acted. There’s a certain desperation and passion here which is kinda unusual in porn these days…

Jamie keeps himself drunk on Absolut and happy by dressing in women’s clothing. There’s also a baby fetish going on as well as he suckles at the Absolut bottle at Shanna’s feet. A very nice scene with he and Shanna dramatically.

Chelsea Blue/Jamie Gillis
Nikki brings Chelsea over. What follows is an incredibly hot tease scene. She’s very attractive… sultry. Jamie is still one of the best actors around. It is this acting that really propels the scene into something special.Jamie’s dirty talk is held in check by his loneliness and drunkenness, which leaves us to concentrate on Chelsea.

There’s quite a bit of nice posing and threats to fuck her with a banana. She sits on his face and he eats her ass. She tries to suck him, but he’s too drunk to fuck.

Alex Sanders/Steven St. Croix/Chloe
The revenge fuck. St. Croix puts Nikki on the forklift and raises it. This makes for the most annoying scene in the whole movie. Take my advice and press the mute button, lest you subject yourself to the shrieks of Nikki Tyler which makes Yoko Ono sound downright melodic. Real nails on the chalkboard stuff. (“Nick! Nick! Lemme down! Nick!”)Chloe is another small lithe natural titted wonder. She’s a bit on the pale side, and reminds me of Fransesca Le. She blows Alex and then she blows Steve to piss off Nikki. After a stint of doggie, Steve cums on her ass to leave her for Alex who fucks her in the ass them cums on her face. Her lip touches his dick, which makes it the closest thing you’ll see to an ass-to-mouth in a Vivid flick :-)

Jamie and Bobby show up to rescue Nikki. St. Croix pops Jamie in the gut and Sanders gives him a punch to the head. Vitale gives St. Croix his best shot which results in him being laughed at and he ends up in a stack of boxes. As St. Croix goes back for Jamie, Jamie places a few punches to the head and body and pulls a gun on St. Croix.

Shanna McCullough/Jamie Gillis
A very touching sub/dom scene, with Jamie in blonde wig. Shanna has Jamie on a leash. She is in patent leather gloves, panties, undercup bra and thigh high boots. He worships her butt for a while and then she spanks him. He eats her while she’s in the fuck swing She gets his balls in a sling, while he fucks her He shoves a butt plug in her and fucks her doggie for a spell. Some nice RC. She sits on his face in the RC position and he eats her ass. Finally, she blows him and he cums on her face.Again, the acting here is what elevates this scene.

Conclusion
I enjoyed this movie quite a bit. I don’t know that it deserved a 10 from AVN, but it was pretty well made all the way around.Casting Nikki Tyler was a gamble since she can be quite flat (silicone notwithstanding) but I don’t know who I would have used in her place.

Jamie Gillis rules. Think of his extreme work as you will, but when given a good straight role, he can work it, man. Same goes for Shanna McCullough. She was always a fave when she was full time; she had a pretty good bit of talent. I guess it has something to do San Francisco. Most of the San Fran actors (her, Mike Horner, Jamie, etc.) seem to have it over their LA counterparts.

PT did an OK job with this material. We’re not talking fantasic, I think the movie succeeded because of the script and the performers — someone like Jonathan Morgan in the Jamie Gillis role, for instance, would’ve killed this film — some of whom I never expected much from (Bobby Vitale).

The “new girls” Chelsea Blue and Chloe are welcome additions to my viewing realm. I’m going to have to search out more of Chelsea’s stuff. She’s got a look about her that I hope is more hers than her character’s…

And the jury is still out on Nikki Tyler.
RATING
It’s a toughie. It’s a definite couples film and if you’re not part of a couple it may not do much for you. The sex is character driven which to me is far more satisfying but to those Max fans out there is woefully lacking in the gobs of spit and speculums :-)On the Imperial scale, I would say it is a must rent, and a marginal purchase if you are a fan or can get it for under 15 bucks. That translates to about a 3.40

Thoughts in 2013

I’ve come around to Nikki Tyler.  :-)

Today on Radio Sex: Pee-Wee’s XXX Adventure: A Porn Parody (2012)

peeweeToday on Radio Sex’s YouPorn (Sirius XM 103 @ 2:40PM eastern) I’ll be on with Christy and Ginger talking about B. Skow‘s parody classic, Pee-Wee’s XXX Adventure: A Porn Parody in honor of the day’s guest, Evan Stone, who plays just short of a thousand roles (Francis, The Rastafarian Dildo Store Owner (where’s the Danny Mountain yellowface outrage?), Large Marge, Not-Tequila Biker, and an Ashmatic Porn Director)  in the movie.

I haven’t had time to write up a review, so our good pal Roger T. Pipe has been nice enough to loan us his, as I tend to agree with his assessments:

MOVIE TYPE: Parody
127 Mins.
Vivid
DIRECTORB. Skow
THEMES: Parody, Strippers, Sluts
CONDOMS: None

STARS: Capri AndersonTommy PistolAiden StarrJada FireLea Lexus, Barry Scott, JerryJohn StrongLucas StoneTom ByronEvan Stone

REVIEW-

Seriously? A Pee Wee Herman porn parody? Oh why the fuck not? Well, mostly because it’s not the sort of movie that has built-in sex appeal. Unless people were just sitting around stroking to Pee Wee and that’s just twisted. (Though some of us remember that Elizabeth Daily was a serious piece of ass.) Facing that kind of challenge, director B Skow uses the strength of the Tim Burton classic to his advantage. It may not be sexually hot, but Pee Wee’s Big Adventure is filled with hilarious moments and memorable characters. Playing to that strength he has Tommy Pistol in the lead role. Fresh of the best acting performance of 2012 (Awards or not) in Taxi Driver, Tommy is every bit as good in this one. He is a perfect Pee Wee, funny, silly and eventually creepy as hell. Even the look of the movie is as off-putting as Burton’s original.

The script is funny, using XXX versions of some of the same jokes from the original. Pistol is brilliant and really fun to watch. Sexually the movie is all right.

I liked what they did with the script to make it work for a XXX parody.

Aiden Aspen plays “Dolly”, Pee Wee’s love doll who comes to life (or does she?) and ultimately gets kidnapped. She’s very good and just mechanical enough to work. Capri Anderson is the stripper who loves Pee Wee. She fucks John Strong and then Tommy in the finale. Capri is great for eye candy and pretty energetic in both of her scenes. The two side scenes are interesting and hot. Jada Fire fucks Evan Stone and Tom Byron. It is funny, but would have been hotter with a little more room for everyone to work. Lea Lexus takes on three cocks in a bar. Her scene is probably the best of the bunch. Overall this is a really entertaining parody. Pistol should earn himself another best actor nod and B Skow has made a better than one would expect sex flick out of a movie that had no business being turned into one.

Aiden Starr & Tommy Pistol

After a very long good morning segment that features some funny moments and some that make you think you should be doing anything but watching this movie, Pee Wee heads up stairs to hook up with Dolly. (Aiden Starr) As her name and make up make clear, Dolly is Pee Wee’s animate inanimate playmate. She sits barely moving while he slowly undresses her. Her slips his dick between her big tits and comes to life enough to suck it as it pokes through. Aiden ends up as quite a loud fuck when he bends her over and nails her from behind. The wig she is wearing is so dead-on sex doll that it’s a little bit creepy. Nice looking reverse cowgirl as she manages to get into positions that your average sex doll can’t. When he flips her over and fucks her hard enough to make her big tits bounce, she replies with some serious dirty talk. He finishes off with a shot all over her face.

Capri Anderson & John Strong

While picking up some things for Dolly at the smut shack, Pee Wee gets side tracked watching a live sex show between Capri Anderson and John Strong. She strips right down to just her heels and starts sucking. Not a bad looking BJ, but the cowgirl sex is actually quite a bit hotter. Capri shows off her butt and works her hips pretty well. In spoon we get some good leg shots and really solid close up angles on the naughty fun. The pretty little thing is a solid fuck who looks at her audience as she takes a load all over her hot face.

Jada Fire, Tom Byron & Evan Stone

Spoiled rich kid Evan Stone gets anything he wants for his birthday. That includes getting to stick his dick into his hot maid (Jada Fire) with the help of his father played by Tom Byron. The guys keep her busy at both ends and Jada rises the occasion as she always does. Hot shots of Jada in doggy with her big sexy ass up in the air pushing back on Byron’s boner. For the big finish she takes loads on her tits and all over her face.

Lea Lexus, Lucas Stone, Jerry & Barry Scott

On the road to find Dolly, Pee Wee is about to head into a rough bar. It may be rough, but it’s also fun as blonde slut Lea Lexus services her man and his two biker friends. They bend her over the pool table and fuck her pussy from behind. Since there are three of them, she has to pen up her ass to make sure everyone’s happy. The three guys take turns fucking the sexy little blonde. This is a bit of a throw away scene, but it’s really well shot and Lea is quite enthusiastic about the cock. Her ass looks great during doggy, but she can take every inch when she’s on top. The guys really pound that ass and start shooting cu on her pussy.

Capri Anderson & Tommy Pistol

Pee finally finds Dolly and has to try to flee before the evil Hollywood producer catches them. In the end, Dolly explains that he needs a real girl. Capri is right there and they are ready for the romantic ending. They get it and a movie deal to boot. On set, Capri drops to her knees and giggles as she strokes and sucks like she’s really in love. She is playful here jumping into his arms and writing on the bed while he eats her tight little hole. Capri pulls one leg up extra high to let him fuck her good and hard. The reverse cowgirl shots are nice because she’s showing off that hot little pussy. She happily sucks his cock and really uses her hands nicely. This is a good scene and Capri is always very pretty. It just doesn’t have much fantasy appeal, making it a rather ordinary finale. The facial is nice though. It’s always good to see Capri eating ball babies.

Bonus: Bonus Scene (Capri Anderson from Runaway), BTS, Photo Gallery, Previews, Commercials

Today on Radio Sex: Sex Across America 2: New Orleans (2000)

saa2Today, two of my longest-known industry friends, Luc Wylder and Alexandra Silk visit with Christy Canyon and Ginger Lynn on Radio Sex’ YouPorn on SiriusXM 103; I’ll be on around 2:40 Eastern to talk about Sex Across America 2.

Disclaimer: I’ve known Luc and Alex since I started going to the East Coast Video Show in ’97 or so.  They were friends with N. Smith who hosted rame.net (and shot camera on this movie too) and Luc had a buddy who worked at The Showboat Casino in Atlantic City and he hooked us up with an awesome suite for a few years to hold the RAME gathering; so I got to know Luc and Alex through that.  I’m very fond of them, so I doubt I’ll be particularly critical here…

The Sex Across America series is like a big long home movie of a happy couple’s travels around the country…a  happy couple who films themselves and their friends having sex along the way.  Each entry focuses on a different city and has a different traveling band of guests.  Luc tends to hold the camera and he only occasionally gets involved in the action; he usually lets Alex handle that end of things.  (Yeah, she handles that end of things.)

I picked Episode 2 because it’s the first one that has Luc and Alex hooking up in it (Luc kept it in his pants and his hands on the camera the first go round) and because I liked the supporting cast of Jessica Drake and Sydnee Steele who seemed to be on loan from Wicked. :-)

The movie starts with a Dixieland version of When The Saints Go Marching In as the credits roll.

Luc and Alex introducing the episode with a shaggy, easy going style.  They’re obviously a couple who enjoys each others company very much and they’re having a fun time goofing around doing the intro.  She’s just cute as a button, smiling and bopping around with a pink feather boa.

We get some shots of New Orleans night life, various strip clubs as Luc and Alex have a stilted little voiceover introducing T.J. Cummings and Alexis Amore.  She’s noodling on the piano and TJ comes in to make sure she slept OK and had a good night.  She complains of being tired, so he gives her a massage and that turns into sex.  They bang like crazy, keeping up good eye contact throughtout, always THISFARAWAY from breaking the piano bench, and they’re going at mish when TJ pulls out and launches a load up to Alexis’ ear.  When the money shot is done, the set relaxes and Luc comments from off-camera how great a shot that was an how it landed in her ear.  TJ sheepishly apologizes and leans down to clean her off.  Alexis isn’t a bad looking girl by any measure; her enhanced rack moves which is a nice change of pace from the late 90s silicon monoboobs; tho I could do with out the big Playboy Bunny tattoo on her abdomen.

From there, the gang goes out on the town and we get some more travelogue as Alex poses with masks and holds up souvenir towels.  They all try on hats and night turns into day and we’re back walking the streets and the gang, now expanded to include Alexis Fire and Rod Danger stumble into a cigar store.

They stumble upon Dos Jefe’s Uptown Cigar Bar where a kindly Cigar Man is happy to show off some huge cigars and his wide array of double entendres.  There some public nudity as Alex shows off her cookie in a pantiless dress and the girls really play up the phallic imagery and eventually they retire to the smoking room.  There’s a lot of laughs as the girls can’t come up with the name “Monica Lewinsky” (on purpose?) and they blow smoke rings (“Can’t let it die a virgin!” yells Alex as she penetrates the smoke ring with her cigar.)  Alex plants herself on the Cigar Man, gives him a little dance and Alex asks if there’s anything they can play with… and, lo and behold, there’s a shelf full of dildos.  (“That’s a little bit better ring gauge on those…”)  This is the Cigar Man’s lucky day — he gets to use every line he’s ever come up with, tell every joke about the “reserve box” and “ladies’ cigars.”

As “Do You Know What It Means To Miss New Orleans” comes on the soundtrack, Ms. Amore strips down and shoves a dildo into herself as Ms. Fire (two Alexis in the same scene means we have to get oddly formal) slides one end of a double dong into Alex’ ass.  Rod starts to strip down as both ends of the double dong find themselves in Alex. Ms. Amore bounces up and down on the couch forcing the dildo to hit home before grabbing a second dildo and DPing herself as well. Ms. Fire makes Alex cum in a pretty great display, esp. as Alex grabs Ms. Amore to make out with at the moment of climax.

Alexis A. then grabs a strap on and fucks Alexis F. in a weird reverse pile driver as Alex fills Alexis F’s mouth with another dildo making for some mouth-full screams of pleasure.  Alex manages to work the dildo into Alexis A’s twat as she continues to ride Alexis F.

As a reward for cumming, each of the girls gets a Dos Jefe T-Shirt to wear proudly.

They ride around the French Quarter in a horse drawn carriage flashing each other and just generally having a good time.  They pass A Streetcar (bus) named Desire and find their way back to the house where Rod and Alexis Fire get down and dirty. SHE IS A SERIOUS SCREAMER and Rod’s oral skills make her scream STOP in a way that seems to say she can’t take anymore. They fuck in a few positions, including doggie anal, and she jerks him off all over her face.  (Quick aside: Don’t get distracted by Rod’s turqoise G string.)

The gang heads to Jazzfest and then a “Swinger bar” — which is to say a bar with swings (or, I think it’s Dos Jefe’s).  The three girls are in identical white dresses with strategic holes cut out, and they meet the Cigar Man again!  More double entendres and laughs all around. Alexis A. wants to go to strip clubs and Alex wants to go to Bourbon Street to see what kind of trouble they can get in to.  They whip their tits out and TJ starts suckling on Alex.  The girls want to play with a big dildo, and TJ asks that is it because he’s not enough?  The girls are all swinging on the swings, showing off their hooches then Alex climbs on the bar and TJ has a businessman’s lunch. Everything goes sideways and all the girls get into the act; Rod takes his short off, SO DOES CIGAR MAN! and Alex blows TJ. Finally TJ finds solid ground and shoves his finger up Alex’ ass before fucking her.  Alex looks at the camera with the happiest smile on her face.  Rod is fucking Alexis Fires doggie style but has a hard time navigating the swing at first, but then he builds up a rhythm.

Alex cums while riding TJ and she makes out with Alexis A. who is sitting on TJ’s face. Lastly, TJpulls out of Alex and shoots it halfway up her back. TJ is like a kid in a candy store, telling everyone how much he loves them.

The gang is walking around the streets and they bump into a super young Jessica Drake and Sydnee Steele.  Luc wants to have fun on the town with them, but he’s busy shooting, so they stumble upon the great idea of going back to their hotel. They find their way back and find Evan Stone.  “What are you doing here?!?” Alex yells.  (He was dating Jessica Drake at the time, so that’s what he was doing there…)

The girls take out Evan’s manhood and orally enjoy it before stripping out of their clothes.  Evan and Jessica and Sydnee work their way over to the bed and Alex is taking pictures of everything.  Even fucks Jessica for a while and then he gets to bang Sydnee while she eats Jessica out.  Then he starts nailing Jessica again doggie style right on top of Sydnee.

Alex has had enough of seeing Jessica with her man, Evan, so she crawls over to HER man and starts blowing Luc.  The gang on the bed stops to watch Alex and Luc. There’s a second camera in the room which captures cutaways of Luc with Alex between his legs and a camera on his shoulder. She coaxes a load onto her tongue. Kudos to Luc for behind able to hold the camera steady as he pans away from his own cumshot to capture the action on the bed…

Evan cums on Jessica’s back and Sydnee cleans him and it up and shares a slightly cummy kiss with Jessica.

Then we’re back outside the house with Alex in the pink boa and our couple with the mostest thanks us for watching, plugs the websites and the next volume – San Francisco.

This movie is certainly worth some VOD minutes – Scene 2 in the cigar shop is a fun scene and nicely captures the vibe; scene 4 at the Swing Bar is more of the same easy vibe, but worth it to watch the end of the Alex/TJ scene where she cums like crazyand finally Scene 5 is a great chance to see an early Jessica Drake in action and a super-great orgasm on her part.

 

Night Dreams (1981) Trailer

nightdreamsThis trailer for F.X. Pope‘s 1981 classic Nightdreams was posted by over on Facebook (thanks, Steven!) and felt I had to share it… it’s SFW but the soundtrack might have your co-workers ready to kill you.

The movie stars Dorothy Lemay and features a killer supporting cast of performers – Jacqueline LoriansLoni Sanders and Danielle.

From CD Man’s review:

NIGHTDREAMS is the most unusual, unique and innovative adult film yet made. Five years ago I was the first to champion this film and really had no idea what kind of impact it would have on future adult films. It has since pioneered a whole new sub-genre within the industry. It may disturb you, it may disgust you, it may even offend you, but love it or hate it, the most important thing is that you will not forget it. The raunchy, gritty sexuality is combined with truly new wave sets and the MIAMI VICE eighties ‘look’ taken even further in CAFE FLESH.

The plot centers on Mrs. Van Houton, played by Dorothy Lemay, undergoing treatment in a psychosexual-therapy session. She is observed by Jennifer West and Andrew Nichols, clad in doctors’ robes and adjusting the equipment wired to Dorothy’s head. She is put through a wide range of sexual fantasies during the session, and the viewer sees what the doctors can only record.

There is a careful progression to the order of the scenes. There is method to the filmmakers’ madness. What really sets this film apart from others is this odd style. The two filmmakers [Rinse Dream and F.X. Pope] are from the regular world of Hollywood who wanted to try their hand at the adult genre. The camera angles, photography and concepts they present will dazzle you. Never has an adult film been so perfectly photographed. Each scene, whether tender, harsh or just plain bizarre, offers something off the wall. The music track and sound effects are superior. Their influence has definitely spilled over.

View trailer on YouTube

Today on Radio Sex: Let’s Get Physical (1983)

Let-s-Get-PhysicalToday on Radio Sex XM103 at 2:40 PM Eastern-ish, we’ll be talking about Bob Chinn‘s 1983 feature, Let’s Get Physical, written by and starring one of today’s guests, Hyapatia Lee.

The movie is simple – Hyapatia Lee and Paul Thomas are married.  PT is a renowned ballet dancer, and Hyapatia is a jazz/rock dancer.

The movie opens with PT leaving the ballet stage, roses in hand.  He goes back to his dressing room where Hyapatia awaits, and he proposes a little hanky panky, but she demurs, worried there are too many people around.

So a gaggle of dancers come in to pay their respects, and one, Martina, stays behind and lets PT fuck her instead.  It’s a pretty quick shag, a blowjob and a missionary fuck where PT cums on her bush.  Unfortunately, Hyapatia sees the tryst and cries on the ride all the way home… well, they never make it home because her bawling distracts PT and he drives their car off a cliff, crippling him and ending his dancing career.

There’s tension at home since he blames Hyapatia for the accident and he knows he can never turn her into a ballerina, which suits her fine, since she’s a rock/jazz dancer!  He was hoping to give her name to a theatrical producer as a choreographer, but he’s not sure she can do it since she’s not a ballerina.

Cut to the dance studio and Hyapatia shows off her talents as a dancer (and I assume choreographer) with a 5 minute routine to something that sounds eerily like Michael Jackson’s “Beat It.”

She goes back home and tried to make love with PT, but he lost the “ability to make love when I lost my ability to dance.”  Welcome to the pity party, Hyapatia!!

She returns to the studio to teach novice ballerina, Shanna McCullough.  Shanna has always been one of my favorites, and I came to know her a little later in her career.  This is her at the very beginning, 23 years old, and she looks awesome in her leotard, stretching on the barre.

Of course, we need to learn the dance of love, and she an Hyapatia do a little floor dancing and rug munching; but what do you know — PT’s cock gets hard watching his wife and her student roll around the dance floor in their birthday suits.  (I mean, who wouldn’t, really….).

Later on, at home, PT mentions to Hyapatia that he watched her “lesson” and it got him rock hard – the first time since the accident.  He sets up a meeting with Shanna at the studio and later invites her over for dinner.  They retire to the bedroom so he can ostensibly look at Shanna’s “form” but it’s all just pretense for fucking someone other than his wife.  There’s some good tandem cocksucking, but he ends up fucking Shanna and ignoring Hyapatia who looks forlornly at the ceiling while her voiceover laments that she’s out in the cold while he fucks his “prima ballerina.”  All Hyapatia wants is to be with her husband, and all he wants is to be with a ballerina.

She slips into a fantasy sequence , a nice enough early 80s piano ballad (“Ballerina Dance For Me”) plays and PT is at a piano miming to it and she’s topless next to him, but then Shanna comes in and stays with PT, and this is the weirdest most bummer fantasy ever… until she dances into the studio and into the arms of Mike Horner and they hump, er, make love, on a mattress on the floor.  Lots of kissing and satisfying the female needs.  He nails her in missionary then she does her best to deep throat him and she jerks a HUGE cumshot out of him which manages to miss her face, but its am impressive geyser nonetheless, and she cleans off his cock when he’s done and they kiss and transition back to her own real hell of PT fucking Shanna sidesaddle and she jerks him off on her bush.

Another stellar performance by the ballet troupe – Mike HornerShanna McCullough, Erica Boyer and Francois – and they all congratulate each other in the dressing room. Hyapatia gives them all a hug and then PT comes in and tells them they were better than he ever expected (gee, thanks, PT) and they should get out to meet the scouts from the NYC Ballet.  PT then kisses Hyapatia’s ass a little and complements her choreography.  PT suggests they bang in the dressing room, and this time, she says she’d love to!  Cue the “Beat It-esque” music and she blows him, and afterwards he takes her doggy style during which we’re to believe he cums inside her.  (They are married after all…)

Now Francois is doing some rock dance in the studio and Erica Boyer stumbles onto him and is amazed that he can dance in such a modern way.  And then he shows her how he can dance the dance as old as time.  She licks her way down his chest and swallows his dick until he cums all over her face… but out boy “has one more in him” and fucks her on the floor , blowing a second wad on her belly.  Nicely done, sir!

There’s a party for Shanna and Mike who have earned spots in the NYC Ballet.  Shanna is now mooneyed for Mike and they leave for NYC.  PT then tells Hyapatia that she got the choreographer gig and they all live happily ever after.

Bob Chinn makes enjoyable movies.  This is what we would today call “A Couples Film” as it’s very much told from a woman’s point of view; a woman who is not happy about her wayward husband, but sticks by him in an attempt to work it out… or maybe just to get choreography job.. I’m not quite sure. :-)

Imperator gave this movie a 2.45 in this very brief review:

This one has a stellar cast indeed: Hyapatia Lee (woof), Shanna McCullough(hooowwwwwl), Erica Boyer, Paul Thomas and Mike Horner. It is a cute effort but a bit too much concerned with the weak plot, with the result that the sex scenes are not what they could well be. The Imperial verdict is: waste of resources. Neither Hyapatia, nor Shanna are used well; the threesome with PT is particularly disappointing. Still, it is a very decent flick, certainly superior to what we get nowadays (I must have said this phrase five times in this post :-) Must be true!).

Rating: 2.45

I think it’s a bit better than his rating of  “rent only if you are an ardent fan of the particular star/genre featured” and would put it in the “good rental” category.  At 78 minutes long, if you’re planning on watching the whole thing you’re going to want to go for the 2 day rental over at Adult DVD Empire which will only set you back $4 as opposed to paying per minute which will set you back around $6.

This is one to watch with your partner who isn’t sure about porn; it’s nice and easy, nothing crazy; all the performers are attractive and not creepy, it’s competently made… it holds up as a good example of early 80s adult filmmaking.