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The 2015 Spank Bank Award Winners

THE SPANK BANK AWARD WINNERS

In its now traditional locale of @gabriel_lan‘s lavish living room in warm, sunny Nowhere Special, USA, the 5th annual Spank Bank Awards show was bigger and better than ever this year.

The Spank Bank Awards are voted on by a panel of porn critics (@gabriel_lan), noted adult film connoisseurs (@gabriel_lan), outside adult industry media insiders (@gabriel_lan), x-rated film fans (@gabriel_lan), and a committee chairman (also @gabriel_lan). Nominees who entice or influence the panel with any form of ‘sweet talking’, ‘sexual innuendo’, ‘buttering up’, or outright eluding to sexual favors greatly increase their chances of winning.

Technical awards were given out at a luncheon ceremony held earlier in the week at an offsite location.  The winners of those honorable mentions follow the main awards:

The 2015 Spank Bank Awards

Headshot of Jennifer White

Most Spanked To Girl of the Year

Jennifer White

Headshot of Casey Calvert

Dirty Little Slut of the Year

Casey Calvert

Headshot of Adriana Chechik

Ho Holes of the Year

Adriana Chechik

Headshot of Penny Pax

America’s Porn Sweetheart

Penny Pax

Headshot of Chanel Preston

Asshole of the Year

Chanel Preston

Headshot of Remy LaCroix

Bad Ass Brunette of the Year

Remy LaCroix

Headshot of Jennifer White

BBC Slut of the Year

Jennifer White

Headshot of Chastity Lynn

Best “Come Fuck Me” Eyes

Chastity Lynn

Headshot of Chase Ryder

Best “O” Face

Chase Ryder

Headshot of Jada Stevens

Best All Around Ho

Jada Stevens

Headshot of Keisha Grey

Best Body

Keisha Grey

Headshot of Chanel Preston

Best Hands (aka Puppeteer of the Year)

Chanel Preston

Headshot of Madelyn Rose

Best High Speed DSL (Dick Sucking Lips)

Madelyn Rose

Headshot of Scarlet Red

Best Legs

Scarlet Red

Headshot of Jillian Janson

Best Smile

Jillian Janson

Headshot of Penny Pax

Best Unborn Baby Swallower

Penny Pax

Headshot of Carter Cruise

Best Vocals (While Being Railed)

Carter Cruise

Headshot of Anikka Albrite

Blonde Bombshell of the Year

Anikka Albrite

Headshot of Alex Chance

Boobalicious Babe of the Year

Alex Chance

Headshot of Adriana Chechik

Breakthrough Star of the Year

Adriana Chechik

Headshot of Maddy O'Reilly

Cock Sucking Whore of the Year

Maddy O’Reilly

Headshot of Veruca James

Cum Dumpster of the Year

Veruca James

Headshot of Sheena Ryder

Cumback of the Year

Sheena Ryder

Headshot of Mick Blue

Dick of the Year

Mick Blue

Headshot of A.J. Applegate

DP Diva of the Year

A.J. Applegate

Headshot of Emma Haize

Fetish Floozie of the Year

Emma Haize

Headshot of Dakota Skye

Fucking Nerd of the Year

Dakota Skye

Headshot of Alex Tanner

Fun Sized Fuck Bunny

Alex Tanner

Headshot of Veruca James

Gang Banged Slut of the Year

Veruca James

Headshot of Maddy O'Reilly

Hardest Working Ho in Ho Biz

Maddy O’Reilly

Headshot of Samantha Bentley

Imported Whore of the Year

Samantha Bentley

Headshot of Holly Hanna

Life Sized Human Hand Puppet

Holly Hanna

Headshot of Tara Morgan

Masturbator of the Year

Tara Morgan

Headshot of Anikka Albrite

Mattress Actress of the Year

Anikka Albrite

Headshot of Dakota Skye

Most Adorable Slut

Dakota Skye

Headshot of Kayden Kross

Most Beautiful Whore

Kayden Kross

Headshot of Missy Monroe

Most Magnificent MILF

Missy Monroe

Headshot of Violet Monroe

Most Photogenic Slut

Violet Monroe

Headshot of Leya Falcon

Most Underrated Whore

Leya Falcon

Headshot of Phoenix Marie

Most Voluptuous Vixen

Phoenix Marie

Headshot of Carter Cruise

Newcummer of the Year

Carter Cruise

Headshot of Aidra Fox

Porn’s Next “It” Girl

Aidra Fox

Headshot of Jillian Janson

Prettiest Girl In Porn

Jillian Janson

Headshot of Sarah Shevon

Pussy Eating Princess of the Year

Sarah Shevon

Headshot of Ash Hollywood

Pussy of the Year

Ash Hollywood

Headshot of Alice Green

Red Haired Harlot of the Year

Alice Green

Headshot of Karla Kush

Sexiest Inked Slut

Karla Kush

Headshot of Dahlia Sky

Sexiest Woman Alive

Dahlia Sky

Headshot of Bonnie Rotten

Super Squirter of the Year

Bonnie Rotten

Headshot of Jenna J Ross

The Girl Next Door … Only Better

Jenna J Ross

Headshot of Claire Robbins

The Total Package

Claire Robbins

Headshot of Carter Cruise

Tweeting Twat of the Year

Carter Cruise

Headshot of Casey Calvert

Two Hot Dogs in a Hallway

Casey Calvert

Headshot of Casey Calvert

Wet Dream Girl

Casey Calvert

The 2015 Spank Bank ‘Technical’ Awards

A Bad Girl To Blow Your Mind

A Booty That Don’t Need Explaining

A Little Slice of Pink Heaven

A Living, Breathing Doll

A True Evil Angel

All The Right Junk In All The Right Places

Ambidextrous Jack Off Artist

American Porn Idol

America’s Favorite Pole Dancer

America’s Next Top Porn Model

Ariana Grande’s Sluttier Doppleganger

Badass Ball Busting Bitch

Begging For a Crack Attack

Bespectacled Buttsex Addict

Best BareAss Baker

Best Canadian Treat Since Maple Syrup

Best Cleavage

Best Couch Cuddling Cooze

Best Cum Covered Grin

Best Cushion For The Pushin’

Best Demonstration of ‘Self Fisting’

Best Display of Choking on Dick

Best Dressed Slut

Best G/G Kisser

Best Gape

Best Groomed Bearded Clam

Best Honeymoon Hostess

Best Nails For Digging Into Your Back

Best New Additions

Best Piercing

Best Reason To Get Satellite Radio

Best Road Trip / Road Head Giver

Best Self Photographer

Best Thing To Come Out of Russia Since Vodka

Best Twisted Sense of Humor

Best Usage of Camel Toe in a Public Setting

Best Youtube Channel EVER!

Better Than Any Monet mASSterpiece

Bionic Blonde Starfish

Bottomless Butthole

Brainiac Bimbo of the Year

ButtFucked Bellezza

Chillest Bitch on the Planet

Chronic Masturbator

Clam Crazed Cooze

Classiest Cooze

Cornholed Comptroller

Curly Haired Sex Kitten

Cutest Pouty Face

Deepest Throat

Director of Devilish Deviants

Dirtiest Debut of the Year

Dirtiest Mind

Dirtpipe Gangsta

Exotic Goddess

Fantasy “Best Friends’ Mom”

Favorite Porn Star of Girlfriends Everywhere

Freakiest Freckle Faced Cutie

Friendliest Cum Junkie

Hot As Fuck in Any Language

Hottest Home Improvement Harlot

Hottest Video Gamer on Earth

Indestructable Poop Chute

Instagram Girl of the Year

Kitten So Good, It’s Drippin’ On Wood

Magical Pussy

Marilyn Monroe’s Porn Clone

Miss Personality

More Time Masturbating = No Time For Drama

Most Downloaded Slut of the Year

Most Eager Spanking Receiver

Most Flexible Floozie

Most ‘Hands On’ Director

Most Likely To Fuck at the Bar While in the Bar

Most Likely To Have A ‘Spitting’ Orgasm

Most Likely To Mix a Beat While Being Ass Fucked

Most Likely To Star In Her Own XXX Anime Feature

Most Magnificent Meat Curtains

Most Perverted PAWG

Most Reliable Whore

Most Squeezable Badonkadonk

Most Stunning Facial

Most Talented Tramp

Nicest Nympho

NOT ‘Gay For Pay’, But Bi EVERY Day

Perfecter of the Perfect Stroke

Perfection Personified

Prettiest Pink Stink

Prettiest Pink Taco

Princess of Profanity

Proof of the Existence of Amazonian Warriors

Prototype of All Future Sex Machines

Pussy Pumping Party Hostess

Queen of the Chicken Wing

Queen of the Dommed

Queen of the Rim Job

Queen of the Slurp

Real Life Mythical Creature

Ropeburn’s Best Friend

Ruling The World With A Manicured Iron Fist

Runway Model Gone Bad

She’ll Leave You Breathless

Size Queen of the Year

Smoothest Cock Sockets

Sphincter Wizard Surrounded By Muggles

Stunning Sweetheart

Teenage Dream

Thank God She Does Anal Now!

Thank God She Does Anal Now! Part 2

Thank God She Does Anal Now! Part 3

Thank God She Takes Vitamin ‘D’ Now!

The 7 AM Cookie Monster

The American Dream

The Darker The Berry, The Sweeter The Juice

The Gaped Crusader

The Grandest Canyon

The Human Party

The Notorious V.A.G.

The Pale (Cock) Rider

The Perfect All American Girl

The Porn Stars’ Favorite Pussy Eater

The Queen of B&W Photography

The Unspoken Of Filthy Disney Princess

Total Jackoff Material

Triple (Penetration) Threat

Where Have You Gone, Joe DiMaggio

World’s Most Beautiful Envelope Licker

World’s Sexiest Sci-Fi Nerd

World’s Sweetest Slut

Worship Worthy Booty

The 2015 Spank Bank Awards Nominations Are Here!

 

THE SPANK BANK AWARDS

Writer Gabriel Lan, back when he was at Fox Magazine, founded the Spank Bank Awards, an irreverent group of categories meant to honor the gals (and guys) who helped us make many deposits into our own personal Spank Bank over the past year.

When Gabriel joined our team, he brought the awards with him, so we’re happy to announce The 2015 Spank Bank Awards Nominees.

The most nominated star is Casey Calvert with 15 noms. Close on her heels is Carter Cruise with 14. Trailing close behind with 12 noms each are Jennifer WhiteChanel PrestonAdriana ChechikAnikka AlbriteMaddy O’Reilly and Penny Pax. Rounding out the Top 10 with 11 noms each are Veruca James, Bonnie Rotten and Ash Hollywood.

Winners will be announced as soon as we wring every last piece of social media traffic out of this… so in about a week or so. :-)

Follow @iafdcom and @gabriel_lan on Twitter for details and to get the heads up on the big reveal.  Use the hashtag #spankbank15

Most Spanked To Girl of the Year

Dirty Little Slut of the Year

Ho Holes of the Year

America’s Porn Sweetheart

Asshole of the Year

Bad Ass Brunette of the Year

BBC Slut of the Year

Best “Come Fuck Me” Eyes

Best “O” Face

Best All Around Ho

Best Body

Best Hands (aka Puppeteer of the Year)

Best High Speed DSL (Dick Sucking Lips)

Best Legs

Best Smile

Best Unborn Baby Swallower

Best Vocals (While Being Railed)

Blonde Bombshell of the Year

Boobalicious Babe of the Year

Breakthrough Star of the Year

Cock Sucking Whore of the Year

Cum Dumpster of the Year

Cumback of the Year

Dick of the Year

DP Diva of the Year

Fetish Floozie of the Year

Fucking Nerd of the Year

Fun Sized Fuck Bunny

Gang Banged Slut of the Year

Hardest Working Ho in Ho Biz

Imported Whore of the Year

Life Sized Human Hand Puppet

Masturbator of the Year

Mattress Actress of the Year

Most Adorable Slut

Most Beautiful Whore

Most Magnificent MILF

Most Photogenic Slut

Most Underrated Whore

Most Voluptuous Vixen

Newcummer of the Year

Porn’s Next “It” Girl

Prettiest Girl In Porn

Pussy Eating Princess of the Year

Pussy of the Year

Red Haired Harlot of the Year

Sexiest Inked Slut

Sexiest Woman Alive

Super Squirter of the Year

The Girl Next Door … Only Better

The Total Package

Tweeting Twat of the Year

Two Hot Dogs in a Hallway

Wet Dream Girl

This Ain’t Not The View XXX – A New Podcast

ThisAintNotTheViewXXX_1400px

So, Rog of RogReviews.com, Dr. Chauntelle of ChauntelleTibbals.com and myself have joined forces and are going to throw our hat into the podcasting ring, with a casual chat about the industry.  We’re calling the new venture This Ain’t Not The View XXX and we’re hoping to have other people sit in on future installments.  We took some inspiration from This Week in Tech by recording our first episode in person at a trade show… our next episode will be recorded remotely via Skype and the plan it to be recording new episodes biweekly.

The show will live at ThisAintNotTheViewXXX.com

We hope you enjoy the episode.

Congrats to the XBiz Award Winners!

2Well, we’re a little sad. Another year goes by, and it’s merely an honor to be nominated… FreeOnes took the Adult Site of the Year: Fan Site award for the whatever year running (but who’s counting?). Along with them, a bunch of other people won awards, here they are. It’s almost 4 AM on the East Coast, so I’m calling it a night with only the most minimal data analysis…

On the performer side, the big winners were Carter Cruise and James Deen who both won 3 awards.

The big winner was Eli Cross’ Wetwork (2014) which won SEVEN awards; Not Jersey Boys XXX: A Porn Musical (2014) and Second Chances (2014) were tied for second-most honored with 4 wins apiece.

So, here’s the breakdown:

All-Black Release of the Year

All-Girl Release of the Year

All-Sex Release of the Year

Amateur Release of the Year

Asian-Themed Release of the Year

BDSM Release of the Year

Best Actor – Couples-Themed Release

Best Actor – Feature Movie

Best Actor – Parody Release

Best Actress – All-Girl Release

Best Actress – Couples-Themed Release

Best Actress – Feature Movie

Best Art Direction

Best Cinematography

Best Editing

Best Music

Best New Starlet

Best Non-Sex Acting Performance

Best Scene – All-Girl

Best Scene – Couples-Themed Release

Best Scene – Non-Feature Release

Best Scene – Parody Release

Best Scene – Vignette Release

Best Special Effects

Best Supporting Actor

Best Supporting Actress

Couples-Themed Release of the Year

Crossover Star of the Year

Director of the Year – Feature Release

Director of the Year – Non-Feature Release

Director of the Year – Parody

Director of the Year: Body of Work

European Director of the Year

European Feature Release of the Year

European Non-Feature Release of the Year

Feature Movie of the Year

Female Performer of the Year

Feminist Porn Release of the Year

Fetish Release of the Year

Foreign Female Performer of the Year

Foreign Male Performer of the Year

Gay Director of the Year

Gay Movie of the Year

Gay Performer of the Year

Girl/Girl Performer of the Year

Gonzo Release of the Year

Interracial Release of the Year

Latin-Themed Release of the Year

Male Performer of the Year

MILF Performer of the Year

Parody Release of the Year: Comedy

Parody Release of the Year: Drama

Pro-Am Release of the Year

Screenplay of the Year

Specialty Release of the Year

Transsexual Director of the Year

Transsexual Performer of the Year

Transsexual Release of the Year

Vignette Release of the Year

How Long Does it Take to Become an AVN Hall of Famer?

How Long Must I Work To Be An AVN Hall

Looking over the list of 2015 AVN Hall of Name inductees, we found some favorites listed, and Kaylani Lei caught my eye because it seemed like she “just started” in 2002, and entrance into the hallowed hall should take some more time to earn… (this is purely a subjective reading of what it takes to get into the Hall and is not intended to reflect on her or anyone’s deservedness. I also think 2002 feels like last week instead of 12 years ago)

So, I figured I’d run the numbers and see what came up.

Turns out, it takes 16.76 years of service, on average to get into the Hall, so Kaylani’s 13 years in the industry puts her a little ahead of the curve. Some of her fellow nominees got in as quicker than the average – Kelly Madison (12 years),  Dan O’Connell (13), Tim Von Swine and Porno Dan (14) and Joanna Jet (15).  But most took a little longer: Alana Evans and Wesley Pipes (17), Eli Cross (18), Andre Madness (19), Billy Glide and Craven Moorehead (20), Greg Alves (21), Marci Hirsch (23), Howard Levine, Talon and Rayveness (25), Will Ryder (29), Karen Summer (33), Marc Dorcel (36) and the longest time to induction ever goes to this year’s honoree, Al Goldstein (47 years).

Some other fun facts – Joey Stefano and Victoria Paris were both inducted in 1997 with only 8 years under their belts; Shy Love got inducted next fastest with only 10 years in the industry.

This analysis is also incomplete in that we don’t list every inductee; just the ones we have database records on; so not everyone in the executive branch is listed (Sorry Bonnie!) nor is anyone in the Pleasure Products or Internet Branch listed, as we don’t cover those parts of the industry.

I put the spreadsheet up on Google Docs for those of you interested in having a look.  The “First Year” column is pulled from our “Years Active” field except in cases where it was clearly wrong, i.e. Christian Mann has a couple titles listed in the IAFD from last year, but he was part of the industry since 1979.  We arrived at that year because he was called a “35 year veteran of the industry” in his obituary.  We noted these cases in the aptly named NOTES field. :-)  And since this is the “Class of 2015” we use that year for our calculations, even tho we’re still in 2014 as of this writing…

You’re free to make comments on the spreadsheet.