Category Archives: Playboy Radio

Tonight on Playboy Radio: Ginger Lynn: The Movie (1988)

Tonight on Playboy Radio’s Nightcalls with Debi Diamond and guest host Kelly Shibari, we’ll be chatting about the 1988 (compilation) flick, Ginger Lynn: The Movie.  Due to a some scheduling on my end, we’ll be on 45 minutes earlier, at 7:00 PM Eastern (4:00 PM Pacific) as opposed to our regular time.

Compilation flick?  Wha?

Paradise Visuals was one of the leading adult studios in the mid-80s and they had a three-picture “deal” with Traci Lords.  (She appeared in three shot-on-video movies for them, plus a comp (Girls of Paradise) and they used a g/g scene of hers in Whore of the Worlds as well.)

Traci was arguably the biggest star at the time, but running a close second, if not arguably first, was Ginger Lynn.  So Paradise scored quite a coup when they were able to cast both Traci and Ginger in the same movies.  Having both of the biggest stars in the world in the movie was pretty much a license to print money.

Once Traci’s scandal broke, all those movies needed to be pulled from the shelves, so in 1986, we lost those three movies and the awesome scenes that didn’t feature Ms. Lords… and Paradise lost a cash machine.

Fast forward a couple years, and the good folks over at PV say “Hey, you know… if we edit the movies so Traci’s not in them, we don’t have much… but we can take the leftovers that feature Ginger and make a new movie!”  And that they did.

They took scenes from Those Young Girls (1984)Night Of Loving Dangerously (1984) and Lust in the Fast Lane (1984) and edited them together to make Ginger Lynn; The Movie.

This movie is also notable for giving us access to two AWESOME Christy Canyon scenes from her debut, which we would have lost to the (under)ages had they not been repackaged here.

The first three scenes are from “Those Young Girls.”  That movie was written by Ginger, and based on her experiences breaking into porn.  It’s a jokey script — she meets with agent John Holmes who asks if she has a portfolio, and she says she got her (immunization) shots in high school — but personality (and Ginger’s undeniable cuteness) goes a long way…

Things get underway with Ginger naked on John’s desk, fellating a banana and saying “lunch is served.”  He then dives in and eats.  (Who wouldn’t?!?)  Ginger bucks her hips and grinds into his face before dropping to her knees.  Seeing Holmes’ manhood fall out of his pants as he pulls down his jeans is still something to behold.  She laughs, not quite sure what to do with the turgid meat, and he guides her head in to do the job.  His cock is floppy, as it often was by this point in his career, but she manages to coax half a stiffy out of him. He lays her on the desk and drops his cock into her mouth as he fingers her.  It’s a pretty hot position and it shows off her body pretty well until he strokes a nice load onto her face which she cleans up like a champ.  They cuddle bit and then Ginger finds her way onto a set.

The stills guy (nice socks!) gets her acclimated, she takes off her robe revealing a pretty conservative negligee (by today’s standards, anyway).  The camera cuts to her close up, and she looks flawless.  It is not hard to believe what a star she was back then… so the second scene is just Ginger posing around a bed.

We cut back to John Holmes making a deal for Ginger to appear in a music video, as he has her under contract.

The next scene is a rather silly music video, with Harry Reems (who had to have been 40+ at the time) in silly “punk” makeup, along with Ginger with a fauxhawk and yellow lace gloves.  There’s a driving synth tune on the sound track, jump cuts and video transitions that were all the rage back then.  Since they’re both naked, I’m not sure what the market for this video was supposed to be… you can FF through it without missing too much except some prolonged tongue kissing which is then unceremoneously cut away from for a dialogue scene where he explains that its a bad idea for them to get together.

Cut to his bedroom, they’re drinking wine and trying to come up with a name, and they settle on Ginger Lynn, and she plants a big one on his lips, and then after some faint protest, she’s blowing him and he’s eating her out.  She crawls off his face and slides him up in her for some reverse cowgirl.  RC is perhaps my favorite porn position, as it really shows off the girl’s physique, and let’s her control the sex.  Ginger gyrates her hips around on his cock which is a wonderful visual.  Harry then throws her on her back, and starts a vigorous pounding before cycling thru two quick positions – side saddle then doggie, where he pulls out and cums (in ridiculous slo-mo) on her ass, finally wrapping her in a giant hug which carries a startling amount of warmth in it…

So ends our journey with Those Young Girls, and we move into Night of Loving Dangerously, with a poorly grayed Peter North driving in a car while a voice over (not Peter) establishes him as a producer out to meet Ginger… so we’ve moved from a strict comp to the thinnest of a new story.  Let’s see how they do.

(In this review of NOLD, The Fool sums up the plot thusly: “It’s a murder mystery story, where Christy Canyon, who appears in more than just sex scenes, is “Louise Harrison”, daughter of Chairman of the Board, Jamie GillisPeter North is a former cop and former husband of Traci Lords, and his ex-wife Traci calls him to investigate a blackmail plot against Louise’s father, Jamie Gillis, whom Traci is about to marry…”  How this will fit into “Ginger is an up and coming adult film star” story remains to be seen… we return to our story…)

Peter enters a house and asks if nayone is home.  Ginger and Christy are home, having a little fun of their own.  A brief g/g scene ensues with a lot of kissing and some scissoring.  We cut to Peter standing in the doorway, clapping, asking if they know “any more good tricks.”

Another mystery voiceover tells us that Ginger’s career was really taking off, as evidenced by the doggie style fucking Tom Byron is giving her.  At this point, we’re in our third movie, Lust in the Fast Lane, where we’ll stay for the next few scenes.

So Tom and Ginger are fucking, and then Tom pulls out and splashes on her ass and without explanation, Ginger is now sucking another cock, this time belonging to while Marc Wallice is working a finger up her ass.

When we open a wide shot, we see the room is full of people fucking, that there’s at least four pairings going on — Eric Edwards and Beverly BlissCrystal Breeze with Tom Byron (cocksucking, titfucking); Sheri St. Clair with  and Ginger with Marc Wallice and David Sanders (They spend a bit of time FUCKING HER ARMPITS. Seeing her with two cockheads poking out of her arms is not all that erotic, really… but they get point for being novel…)

(The scene is a horrible mess of editing. They end with each of the four corners of the frame filled with a different cumshot.  They finally break out for Marc dumping a giant load on Ginger’s face, but the scene is shot so close-up, there’s very little impact.  A horribly missed opportunity.)

The orgy continues a bit more with Beverly BlissCrystal Breeze and Sheri St. Clair working on Tom Byron. Beverly gives Tom a pretty awesome handjob, while Sheri pleasures Crystal.  Sheri was one of my favorite mid-80s performers.  Tom eventually lays Beverly down for a little buggering before he fucks Sheri St. Clair and cums virtually in her, pulling out at the last moment…

And then, LATER THAT NIGHT…

… so we end our time with Lust in the Fast Lane, and we wrap up with two scenes from Night of Loving Dangerously.

As an aside, NoLD is widely considered to be Christy’s debut.  She made some loops beforehand and did the modelling, but this was the movie that put her on the map… and soured her on facials forever.

The first has Ginger sucking Jamie Gillis’ cock and then Christy comes in for some loving.  Jamie fucks Christy while Ginger helps pleasure her with her fingers.  Then it’s Ginger’s turn to climb on top and they make one of my favorite porn positions – the triangle.  Ginger rides Jamie’s cock; Christy rides Jamie’s face and the girls kiss.  This is WAY TOO SHORT-LIVED before Ginger and Christy are 69ing, and Jamie is fucking Christy doggie. Jamie flips Ginger over and fucks her butt for a spell, first side saddle, then reverse cowgirl.  Then, as the moment of climax nears, he pushes Ginger onto her stomach, pulls out and starts jerking off while Christy is hovering over the small of Ginger’s back shooting glances off-camera and flinching every time Ginger bucks her hips.  It’s a pretty natural reaction, far from the pro that Christy matured into. Finally he starts cumming and Christy’s brought into the line of fire.  It’s pretty obvious she’s not into it, but she’s being a spot, glancing off camera for what seems to be a combination of “Help?” and “I’m a team player!”  It’s a little unsettling knowing the story behind it, but before I knew the story it was hot.

We spoke about this incident on the show back in January while we were discussing Black Throat.  Christy was not expecting Jamie to pull out of Ginger and shove his cum at her face, but that’s what he did, and it ruined her off facials for most of her career.

“… and right after high school, and no one ever came in my mouth. So suddenly, there I am at 18 and 3 months old, and some guy — Jamie Gillis – pulls out of Ginger’s ass, open like  ‘Christy, open your mouth, open your mouth!’ and I open my mouth, not even knowing, really, what was happening, but it was kind of fun up until then… and then this whole load just shoots in my mouth, and I just remember it was bitter and it smelled like Clorox Bleach, it was wrong and nasty, and they’re like FILMING IT! all of a sudden, I thought I was going to throw up… the smell was 10 times worse than my spray tan the other day; the stench was like acid… but that one first mouth loud wasn’t very good at all, and it kind of turned me off.”

So there’s that.

Finally, the last scene of the movie is a classic.  Ginger approaches Peter, “Hello, Mr. Shannon.”  He replies, “Hello (audio muted)” (Her name was “Louise” in NoLD, but “Ginger” in our story here, so we’ll get around it by introducing an audio drop out.  In the filmmakers’ defense, they could have left “Louise” in, but they were trying to tell a new story clearly, so they didn’t want to confuse things.) She asks if he’s hungry and he says he can handle a “bite or two” — of her hair pie!

And they go to town on a poolside lounge chair.  He eats her for a little bit, then she returns the favor, really showing off her cocksucking talents.  Then — awkward! – Christy stumbles upon the scene, and to avoid anything weird, she jumps out of her dress and starts sucking his cock instead.  The two girls then spend some time sharing Peter’s peter orally until Peter pulls Christy up to him to make out a little and give her massive boobs a massage.  He then lies her on the chair and lays her while Ginger stand by waiting for their position to change to doggie, so she could make love to Christy’s chest as they sway to and fro.  Finally, Peterpulls out of Christy and Ginger jerks him off onto Christy’s ass, lapping up all of his baby batter (TM Rog).

The final title card:

THE END

but for Ginger, it was just the beginning…

Credit then to the editors, Charles Watkins, Abe Steinbeck and Victor Nichols.

A worthwhile movie to see some classic Ginger Lynn action.  Well worth checking out.

Ginger is selling an autographed copy of the VHS tape on her site…

 

 

Tonight on Playboy Radio: Talk Dirty To Me (1979)

Tonight on Playboy Radio Nightcalls with Debi Diamond and  Nicki Hunter (Sirius XM 102, 7:45pm Eastern)  we’re going to be talking about Anthony Spinelli‘s 1979 classic, Talk Dirty to Me.

We’ve talked about Talk Dirty to Me 2, but not the original, so let’s have at it.

We first meet smooth-talker Jack (John Leslie) and his slow-witted sidekick Lenny (Richard Pacheco) at the beach as they watch hang gliders under the opening credits.  (Fun trivia, editor Tim McDonald  would later direct Talk Dirty to Me 2.) Jack and Lenny go get some coffee and Cracker Jacks from a truck run by Herbie (Anthony Spinelli) and Patty (Holly McCall).  Holly gets all up in Jack’s grill, asking him when they can get together again and he says she needs to exercise a little more.  Lenny chimes in and says that Jack promised that Lenny could fuck her, but that really sets her off and she pushes Lenny down a sand dune.  The overly protective side of Jack comes out, physically shoving Patty aside to get to Lenny’s aid.  He brings Lenny to a doctor.

Cut to the doctor’s office, and the doctor (Cris Cassidy) is filling out some paperwork. She explains that Lenny’s leg isn’t broken, just sprained.  Jack then gets right in with the dirty talk. “You’re a damned good looking woman, you know that? … I wouldn’t pay you shit, but I bet some heavy dude would pay big bucks to get into your pants.  Big bucks…”  He gets in close, smells her up … She retorts “I want you to know you’re not impressing me with your hot mouth!”  and so it goes — he asks to suck on her tits (she pulls her blouse shut) and he leans in, and she gets all upset and he really turns on the charm and whips his cock out right there.  “My cock wants you.  Look!  Give it a little touch.. please?” and she’s on the hook.  Jack tells her to get to his apartment after her last patient and he goes in the back to get Lenny.

Lenny is worried that the coffee-truck girl doesn’t like him, but Jack assures him she does.  The doctor returns and tells Jack she can’t make it later, and Jack tells Lenny to go wait in the car.  Lenny puts up a faint protest, and Jack ravages the doctor.  He pulls her hair out of its bun, and she drops to her knees and inhales his dick.  He leans her back on a couch and eats her out for a while (big bush alert!) before fucking her missionary.  He pulls out and cums on her face.

A quick note on the women, none of them are really HAWT by today’s standards, but that doesn’t make them any less sexually arousing.  They’re attractive, but not stunningly so.  They actually seem like women you’d see on the street.

We then meet Jesie St. James who is helping her husband, Frank (Aaron Stuart), pack for a business trip. She comes into the room in a thin nightgown, poses in the doorway and quotes “To Have and Have Not” (“put your lips together and blow…“)  She then tells him they have an hour to spare before his trip, and she wants some.  She tells him what to do, and he’s resistant with her choice of language.  “I love your breasts” he says.  “Can’t you say tits?  Call them tits!  Say you want to suck my tits!  Say you want to suck my pussy!  Goddamn it, Frank!  I want to hear it.  I need to hear it!” he says he loves her, but he just can’t do it.  So she blows him anyway.

A quick note on Frank.  Frank is not HAWT by any standard, but he is absolutely the correct look for the businessman husband who has fallen into a rut and would make his wife wander.  He’s physically fine, good cock, not fat, but he’s got a pronounced receding hairline…

Jesie looks older than she is – she was only 25 when she made this, but looks early 30s.   She’s got some serious tan lines, and really gets into the fucking.  Frank throws a vigorous hump into her, and she squeals and bucks around until he cums on her ass.

Back on the beach, Lenny is girl watching and hands Jack the binoculars and has him look at Jesie who is strolling down the beach.  Jack says he can “fuck her to death” in three days, and the game is afoot.

They boys follow her to a movie theatre, and Jack strikes up a conversation about classic 1941 movies.  She’s cool to his conversation; he complains about ticket prices ($5.00!) and gas ($2!) and parking ($5!) and she leaves.  The boys follow her home and they find the house next door is empty and up for sale, so they squat in it to stay close… and so they can spy on her prancing around her room in her bra and panties.

The next day, Jack shows up at her house, offering his handyman services.  She’s skeptical enough of the coincidence to give him a series of fake names (Mrs. Miniver, Mrs. Dietrich) and they discuss Casablanca, and he’s got himself a job cleaning the house.

Cut to Aunt Peg as a realtor and and Carl Regal as her client, and she tries to make the sale by licking her fingers, running them across his lips and then across her pussy lips.  The client freaks out and gets out of there.  Jack is watching from the second floor and tells her blew the sale, and she’s taken aback that he’s squatting.  He tells her to not cover up as he likes a nasty pussy.  She says she’ll call the cops, and he says if she does, he’ll “rape the shit out of her.”  He puts his hands on her shoulders and slowly pushes her to her knees.  He kneels too and gives her a kiss.  The opens her blouse and she’s ready to play. She tells him what to do, and they get right down to fucking on the landing. As Jack fucks her, we see Lenny watching from the second floor, and we’re not sure how he feels about it.  Aunt Peg tells Jack not to come inside her, as she wants to suck him to climax, and she goes absolutely crazy sucking his cock until he cums all over her tongue.  She laughs and grins through the whole thing, which might be the sexiest part.    She continues to flick the head of his cock with her tongue, causing Jack to fall apart in laughter.  Lenny looks forlorn and leaves.  She tells Jack that he needs to be out of the house by Friday.

Jack does some shirtless work in the yard which drives Jesie crazy.  They talk more about movies as she dips her legs in the pool, and after work, she gets him a beer.  He asks to use her phone — “Do you have a date?”  she asks “Something like that.” — and he calls Rose (Sharon Kane) and talks dirty to her on the phone as Jesie listens in on the extension. (Try doing that with a cel phone!)  Jesie ends up in the shower touching herself a little, thinking about what she overheard.

Lenny comes upstairs with Rose and Jill (Dorothy Lemay) who are looking for some fun.  Jill would really like to get it on with Jack, but Rose won’t let her.  When Lenny says they’re out of beer, he and Jack run off, leaving the girls to groom their pubic patches (seriously).

When Jack gets back, he brings Rose into Jesie’s house and they fuck doggie style outside her bedroom door as she sleeps.  Couple funny bits as Jack pulls Rose’s hair, she swats him away and as she’s cumming, Jack has her bite/suck on his finger to keep her from waking up Jesie.  It’s a pretty hot scene as they try to keep quite while fucking like bunnies.

Jesie’s sex dreams are driving her crazy and she fires Jack in the morning. He lays some more dirty talk on her and she asks him “Is that the only way you know how to talk?  Dirty?”  “To you,” he says with a devilish grin and she runs back into the house.

He follows her into her room, comes up behind her and says “You know, there’s 13 places a man should kiss?” and as he runs down the list, she melts like butter.

Meanwhile, Rose is with Lenny in some room decorated with Raggedy Ann dolls all over the walls.  She’s pissed that Jack is “probably getting laid right now… and he won’t even give me the signal!”  Lenny sticks up for his friend saying “igf Jack said he’ll give you a signal, he’ll give you a signal.”  “You really trust him?” she says. “You bet!”

Back in Jesie’s room, Jack strips naked and lies on the bed.  She asks “Will you speak dirty to me, like you did to that girl on the phone?” and she gets undressed.  She gets on the bed and starts wriggling like a spider dropped on a hot frying pan.  She asks Jack to do the things she asked Frank to do, and he complies.  He’s more than happy to eat her pussy, and tell her about it as he does it.

Back with Lenny and Rose, she notes that he’s been wearing the same shirt for two weeks and helps him out of it.  She asks him if he’s ever been kissed, and he says “A little bit” and then she asks “Would you like me to kiss you right now?” and he nods.  The sweet kiss is defanged by an odd intercut of Jack nose deep in pubic hair.

Then Rose tells Lenny how to eat her pussy and we get cross cutting between the two meals.

Jack crawls up her body and thrusts his cock in her mouth, “do you want me to fuck your mouth?  Say so!  Say it!”  “I want you to fuck my mouth!

In the other room, there’s no talking going on; ; just Rose gently working on Lenny’s cock.

Finally, both couples start fucking in missionary — Jack and Jesie loud and vocal, Lenny and Rose very quiet and tender until finally, Lenny cums inside Rose and Jack thrusts out and does the patented John Leslie No Hands Cumshot ™ on Jesie’s belly.

Lenny asks Rose if he made her happy, and when she says yes, he starts excitedly bouncing up and down on her like a little kid.

YogaGirl describes the last scenes as:

Jesie wakes up in a foul mood the next morning, but John seduces her via the “13 places a man should kiss when he makes love to a woman.” They tease each other with racy language and roughhouse passionately in her bed. John dives into the oral with boyish enthusiasm and then happily fucks her mouth when she requests it. John makes Jesie scream with pleasure by pumping her hard and fast in missionary. He slides his cock along the crease between her abdomen and thigh as he creams. This entire scene is intercut with footage of Richard losing his virginity to Sharon. Some viewers dislike intercut footage, but in this case, the contrast between John and Richard’s experiences is essential to the story. Sharon first coaxes Richard to explore her pussy with his tongue and then caresses his cock in her mouth. He enters her shyly in missionary, constantly kissing her while he finds his rhythm. There’s no cumshot, yet Richard’s orgasm is surprisingly convincing. The eroticism lies in their realistic facial expressions and his tender query, “Did that make you happy?”

Afterwards, Jack is dressed and says “Here’s looking at you, kid” while a ragtime variation of As Time Goes By plays on the soundtrack, and he’s gone, leaving her to ponder the events of the last three days.

And there you have it.  A classic from the word go, and deservedly so… tho I really wish Dorothy LeMay did more than walk around pantless and brush her pubic hair.

The movie is at a much slower pace than today’s porn.  I think it’s erotic as opposed to pornographic.  Scenes are shorter since it was expected you’d be watching in a theatre, and a 35 minute scene doesn’t play well in a theatrical setting.  (It plays great at home, because through the magic of the FF button, you can make it into a 10 minute scene.)

 Imperator makes an excellent point in his review of the movie:

And John Leslie is pretty damn effective. He’s so seductive he almost charmed the pants off me :-). Jessie is a damn fine actress too and perfectly manages the rather difficult task of showing the gradual yielding to his charms. Many on-screen seductions -and that holds for mainstream too- are botched by what I call the “activation energy effect”. The lady is stone cold, no matter what the fella does and then, all of a sudden, she just becomes putty. Bull, I say. Women are people (though IMHO a different species of the genus homo:-)), and people don’t behave like that. Read Christopher Hampton’s exquisite theatrical adaptation of Laclos’ “Les Liaisons Dangereuses” for a well-made seduction, and the pathetic melting of Turandot in Puccini’s otherwise brilliant opera to see how it should NOT be done. Da Ponte’s Don Giovanni lies somewhere in between I think.

[…]

The Imperial verdict. You saw it coming. Flawless. Riveting and erotic, Spinelli’s masterpiece can justly breathe along with its “Sex World” brethren that rarefied air of perfection.

CJ Lines sums up the movie thusly:

The film overall has it’s flaws, no doubt, and the plot falls apart a little in the last few minutes, but it’s got a wonderful Summery vibe, some smooth, laid-back humour, excellent acting, hot sex and a sense of real enjoyment flowing through it, all of which helps elevate it to the status of a genuine XXX legend.

And be on the look out for John Leslie’s Jimmy Stewart impression… pretty great stuff!

Here’s the opening credit sequence with the hang-gliders.  According to the YouTube description: “An adult film company came to Fort Funston in 1980 to shoot their opening sequence. They filmed Dan Racanelli and Tom Low flying state-of-the-art gliders. Unfortunately, neither of the pilots were asked for further involvement in the film. ;-)”

 

Tonight on Playboy Radio: Debbie Does Dallas II (1981)

Tonight on Playboy Radio (Sirius XM 102, 7:45pm Eastern) we’ll be talking more about Bambi Woods, this time her second movie — Debbie Does Dallas II — the sequel to her classic debut.

The movie starts with Debbie laying down on a fur rug and the camera pans lovingly over her body as a fiddle tune is thumping on the soundtrack, and our singing narrator sings:

Well it seems Debbie Benson didn’t make that Texas Cheerleading Squad
She tried her heart out, but I guess just wasn’t meant to be
Working hard and just plain broke, she decided what she needed was a change of scenery

We then have Debbie accepting a ride from trucker R. Bolla (NOT playing Mr. Greenfield from Debbie I) and he asks her if she got thrown off the Cheerleader Squad:

“Kicked me off nothing!  After raising all that money and going through all that trouble when I got there, they said I was too young!  Well, I never! They could have told me before I went thru all that trouble…. so I’m going to be a Country Western singer!”

He then fantasizes about licking that ass, but she jumps out of the truck too soon to get to her aunt’s “ranch” which we’re lead to believe might be sexually related.

A pair of bumbling sheriff’s deputies (Jamie St. James and Park Richards) slide down a snowy hill and spy Debbie walking down the road. (“Look at the knockers on her!”) And they get the idea they should hassle her (“some Texas police hospitality” according to our singing narrator) and bring her downtown for questioning.  So they hijack a car, but it’s stuck in a snowbank, and the driver flags down the local sheriff, Little John  (Ron Hudd) who throws the just-over-the-county-line-and-out-of-their-jurisdiction deputies out of his county and back into their own as he drives Debbie back to his lockup.  He makes her strip down in front of him as he cleans his gun, yelling at her, until she finally stops at her underwear.  She refuses, so he bursts into the cell, and “checks her for drugs” (which most of us would call “getting to third base“) and he tells her there is one way she can get out of there.  He unzips himself, she drops to her knees with a sigh (“Why not?“) and goes to town on his cock.

She gets into it, swallowing as much as she can, and looking up at him with a big smile, then she assumes the position and he enters her from behind as she grips the jailcell bars.

We get a nice assortment of shots, some a bit too close, but some really nice shots her her dangling breasts swaying back and forth and he’s thrusting into her. Her tits really are (to quote Seinfeld) spectacular, and the lawman shoots a decent load on her ass.  She let’s him kiss her a few times, then she hugs him and says she was on her way t her Aunt Xavier’s Ranch.  He hears this, get excited, and offers to drive her out there himself.

We then cut to the deputies from before getting their rocks off with the help of Ashley Welles (in what might be her debut performance) and Long Jean Silver (who is an amazingly cute amputee; she wears a prosthetic).  Jeanne and Park spend their time 69ing until he she coaxes his load all over her; and Jamie and Ashley have a little oral before he takes her doggie style and cums on her ass (while keeping his hat on, of course).

Little John pulls up sirens blaring, which spooks the working girls who fear its a raid, but they relax when they realize it’s just Little John.  He apologizes to Ms. Xavier (Ginger Jay) if she’s any kind of trouble, its not his doing, and he presents Debbie.  Debbie gets introduced to the other girls, and Jeanne and Lisa Cintrice attack her in the tub, and get her over to the bed where Debbie isn’t that interested in playing along as Jeanne works on Debbies tits as Lisa attacks her down below.  There’s a lot of breast play which looks nice and soft and squishy as the girls are all natural.

 

Tonight on Playboy Radio: Debbie Does Dallas

Tonight on Playboy Radio Nightcalls, (Sirius XM102, around 7:45pm eastern) we’ll be talking about the 1978 classic,Debbie Does Dallas.

I can’t believe we’ve been doing this segment for almost 9 months and haven’t talked about perhaps the most well known porno around next toDeep Throat. Nutty. Even nuttier is the number of versions floating around the world – anniversary releases, studio rebrandings, VHS, DVD, it’s enough to make your head spin.

To tide you over until later, here’s a YouTube safe cut of the trailer, courtesy of Johnny Stanwyck:

The movie starts with the Debbie announcing her intention to go to Texas to auditions for the Texas Cowgirls. Members of her local cheerleading squad say they’ll help her raise the money to go — in fact, they’ll ALL go! So, they brainstorm ideas in the locker room. What follows is a glorious softcore girls strip and shower montage, with just a host of natural tits being freed from their constrictive cheerleading crop-tops and then getting all soaped up.

What a glorious bunch of breasts!

(What do we call a bunch of breasts? Geese are a gaggle, crows are a murder, lions are a pride… what are boobs? Anyone?)

[Twitter suggestions include “a brothel of boobs” or “a fucking good time!”]

The girls decide to go out and get jobs.

Arcadia Lakewalks into a record store run byTony Mansfieldand lands a job, even tho she left her previous job because her old boss got handsy. Tony figures he can get around it, and they agree that she’ll start later in the day.

Debbie (Bambi Woods) goes to Greenfield’s Sporting Goods store to see Mr. Greenfield (R. Bolla) who immediately fantasizes about seeing Debbie’s tits and banging her as if he was the star quarterback, and he gives her the job, even tho she says she’s “clumsy with boxes.”

Christie Fordis walking down the street withEric Edwardswho says she can help him and his wife (Robin Byrd)take inventory at the candle store. She can start tomorrow. ”Mr Hardwick! What can I do to repay you?” He grins “I’m sure we’ll think of something.”

The girls lament their jobs (andGeorgette Saunders‘ lack of underwear) while the boys lament the fact that the girls aren’t around much now that they’re working. Hershel Savageis the QB and looks like he’s 19 years old (tho he was 26 at the time).

The filmn was shot on some college

Some of the football players (David Morris,Hershel SavageandSteve Marshall)work their way into the girls showers and stumble acrossChristie FordandKasey Rodgerswho are happy to provide a little carnal distraction. After starting with some well-shot oral, David fucks Christie and jerks off on her ass. Then Herschel takes over the rest of the sex here is a lot of hairy butts and gential closeups until Herschel spews all over Christie’s back. ThenKaseyblows Herschel some more as Steve Marshall (with the worst hairline ever seen in college) fucks her side-saddle until he cums on her bush. She keeps making sweet sweet mouth love to Herschel’s rod and he shoots a straight shot right up her cheek and it pools under her left eye until she uses his cock to wipe it away. (Ah, the days when the girls could make the guys cum on their own!)

We’re then treated to a montage of the girls at their jobs, and their employer’s lascivious stares and in R. Bolla’s case intercut fantasties. He grins like a 12 year old throughout all of their scenes together. Finally, he hints that there are things a girl can do for eatra money.. wink, wink … and he offers 10 bucks to look at her tits. She lifts her shirt (and what great tits they are!) and he dives for them. She jumps back, and he offers another $10 just for “a little touch.” She protests that they’re all good girls, and then she relents, pockets the ten spot and lets him get to second base. Another 10 dollar offer to suck them… she asks for $20, and he tells her it’s in his pocket and she should reach in and take it out. He gets into it, a little too much so, prompting Debbie to yell, “If you don’t stop, I’m going to have to tell my mother!” which causes him to immediately retreat.

Back in the locker room, the girls are crestfallen that their jobs are all too low-paying, and when Debbie comes in with 30% of the kitty, they ask her how she got the cash, so she takes off her shirt. The girls are incredulous, “you just shake your tits and they give you money?”

“There’s money to be made here, girls, fast money– we don’t have to do anything that we wouldn’t do with our boyfriends, and they have fun, don’t they? And we’re all virgins here, aren’t we?”

Yeah, right. :-)

So, an above-the-waist prostitution ring is born.

The girls continue laughing and plotting, and they ask one of the girls who is a virgin how she keeps her boyfriend so happy. She asks for a banana and then the movie awkwardly cuts to Christy Ford inventorying candles and then masturbating with said candles. (So, what’d she do with the banana?) Then, Mrs. Hardwick comes in and interrupts, and gently keeps her undressed while Mr. Hardwick comes in all excited with the “earning extra money” schtick and he just whips his cock out. Christy is shocked by this turn of events, but is then turned on by the probing hand of Mrs. Hardwick and the husband’s Hard Wick. (Had to, sorry.)

He nails her missionary as his wife massages around her clit on the couch…

 

 

Tonight on Playboy Radio: Blonde Heat (1985)

We were supposed to do this a few weeks back, but got put off, so (finally) tonight on Playboy Radio Night Calls (not sure what time, probably around 7:30-7:45pm eastern, SiriusXM 102), we’ll be discussing Blonde Heat: The Case of the Maltese Dildo, Tim McDonald‘s comic noir.

In 36 BC, Julius Ceaser of Rome, paid trouble to Cleopatra of Egypt, by giving her a jeweled dildo endowed by the high priests with macival erotic powers —- but invading hordes sacked alexandria carrying off this priceless token and the fate of themaltese dildo remains a mystery to this day —-

This is the kind of film that porn did so well — the comic private eye.  John Leslie plays Mark Lowe, a Hollywood Boulevard gumshoe who speaks in the same voiceovers of his ancestors, Philip Marlowe and Sam Spade. We meet Mark as he’s alone in his office, the staff has they day off, and he’s just wrapping up a missing persons case, with his faithful beagle on the couch beside him.

Every noir detecive needs a femme fatale client, and we waste no time meeting Mona La Pierre (Seka), a cool platunum blonde who slips Lowe a “Monroe” (a $5000 bill) to find The Maltese Dildo.  Instead of going into the details of the case in his place of business, Seka insists on having him come out to her house that evening:

MONA: Come to my home this evening, I’ll give you all the information you need to know. Do you need directions to find it?

LOWE: No… I think I can find my way.  What time?

MONA: Let’s say 10:00?

LOWE: (looks over at the dog on the couch) Well,my dog goes to bed at 10:00, can we make it earlier?

MONA: You name the time.

LOWE: 8:37?

And Seka does a dry take as she confirms the time that is really spectacular.  The scene sets up the off-kilter tone and rhythms of the movie perfectly.  If you don’t like the first 3 minutes of the movie, you probably won’t like the rest.

He brings his dog to the bar for a beer and gets his messages from the bartender (Misha Garr), who tells him he needs to see “the boss.”  So he’s off to the back room to see The Boss, a frumpy lady in a housecoat and curlers who just wants a little action (“If it isn’t my favorite dick — both public and private! Mama’s missed you!  Got time for a quickie? Your dick is like a sweet juicy pickle just waiting to have its juices sucked; your balls are like two cherries just ready to be plucked!;your bones are like two fresh cinnamon buns … your cock or your cash, Lowe; you know which I prefer!“)

So he drives up to Mona’s house, past porno theatres playing Memphis Cathouse Blues and Every Which Way She Can and into her driveway.  He waits for her, looking at her pictures (Liberace!?) until she enters. Seka’s line readings are purposefully flat, and we realize within two line readings that she’s channeling Norma Desmond after he points out he now recognizes her as an old porn star, she retorts  “I am still a big star, Mr. Lowe… it’s the cocks that got small.”

After some pleasantries she has drinks delivered by her own Chippendale’s waiter (Chris Chase) and she reveals it to be a potent aphrodisiac and that brings us into our first (and arguably strongest) sex scene. (Before the sex, we learn that she bought the dildo at auction, but it was never delivered, and she needs Lowe to find it).  Dissolve to Lowe sitting naked in an armchair, stroking his cock.  We get a bit of a nice tease as she taunts him while he’s jerking off, and then he says “C’mon… you gotta let me fuck you just a little bit…” and she says “I might let you fuck me” and then we get a good dose of the patented John Leslie dirty talk and then finally, about 14 minutes in, they make sexual contact as Mona slips off  her bra revealing some SERIOUS tan lines across her breasts.  He does what he’s told — sucks her nipples, eats her out, and then finally fucks her on the couch, and then in doggie (while she sips more aphrodesiac) and it ends with him tit fucking her as she jerks him off onto her tits.

He goes to see museum curator Dr. Ana Benninger (René Lovins) and he asks about the dildo and she tells him that he’s not the first guy to look for it in recent weeks, btu she couldn’t help him since “the computers were down” (a nifty scapegoat for 27  years!) and he as he tells her about the dildo, he finds its a real panty dropper of a story as she drops her panties and they’re off —  jerking each other off.  Then he fucks her on the desk, then doggie with her on the desk, and finally she jerks him wildly as she blows him and then he finishes off with a slight drop to her chin.

After his tryst, he stumbles upon Wally (Richard Pacheco) spying on him on behalf of Mr. Glutman (legendary exploitation producer Dave Friedman) and he forces Wally to call his boss on the nearby payphone.  “I don’t have a dime…” Wally says, so Lowe fishes one out.  He put the dime in, waits a beat… “It’s 20 cents…”  (Ah, pay phones!)  Funny stuff this. He goes to meet Glutman who says he wants the Dildo for his collection, since he too paid the same art dealer for the dildo…

He gfoes tback to his office and in walks his secretary, Kate (Gina Carrera), who asks him for a raise as she’s standing on his desk in a short skirt watering plants.  “Why don’t you wear panties?” he asks. “On my salary, who can afford them?” and then they’re fucking on his couch in reverse cowgirl which really shows off Gina’s lithe body.  Then it’s missionary and he jerks off on her bush.

Cut to Billy Dee getting a blowjob in the back of a limo from hooker Ericka Idol and he cums more or less in her mouth as his driver (Jon Martin) looks on.  We don’t know who these characters are, until they burst into Lowe’s office as he’s on his way out to follow a lead about Mr. Glutman. We find out he’s Howie Mann (nee Mendoza) who is now a “bad man” on the Strip and he tries to shake him off the case, to stay away from Mona.

Some more plot happens (can’t give it all away!) and we follow Wally into a tryst with apair of call girls Laurie Smith and Jill Jason. Laurie keeps her pussy to herself and lets Jill do all the fucking, but she sucks Wally off at the end until he cums.  It’s a pretty short scene.

Lowe meets with Glutman and he hears a story about Cleopatra (Joy Cummings) and her handmaiden (Cindy Carver) having some fun together, and then Cleo blows Maximus, her guard (Dan T. Mann) who cums all over her face while she’s being eaten out…

Finally, he runs into Lori Edwards (Angel), some more plot ensues and they end up having a spirited romp on the bed (highlight: she bouncing on his cock as they’re both sitting up on the bed) and then  we see him cum face but no cumshot, so I have to assume by this time, JL was shooting dust…

The movie ends with him snuggling with Angel and musing that “Anything can happen in Hollywood…”

Then there’s a funny little tag “Somewhere in South America…” and the credits roll.

The trailer is told from the point of view of the beagle, Louie Lowe, and it occurs to me only now, that Leslie’s nom de producing, Louis T. Beagle is obviously an homage to his pooch in this movie.