Category Archives: Movie Reviews

Today on Spice Radio: Love and Bullets (2003)

Today (Nov 14 at 2:40ish Eastern) on Spice Radio’s YouPorn (SiriusXM 103) I’ll be talking about Veronica Hart‘s 2003 movie, Love And Bullets, starring Ginger Lynn and featuring today’s guest, Rebecca Love.

The movie opens with Hershel Savage and Ginger Lynn running around a house shooting at each other.  Herschel has an AK-47 while Ginger is packing Dual 9mms.  There’s a blue tape line running down the length of the living room.

We hit the credit sequence and which flashes us back to their wedding, and then we begin to zoom thru scenes from a marriage – we seem them having their picture taken with a SOLD sign on their first house.  Ginger and Herschel have a very nice chemistry together, and that follows thru after he carries her over the threshold and into the first sex scene.

They take their time, nothing is really rushed.  He takes his time pulling per panties down, kissing her legs, her feet; spending some time eating her out in a way almost designed to get her off, not to just add a position to a shot list. They have sex in missionary and he cums on her box.  Just like married people. :-)

More scenes from the marriage – they go into business together – “Richard Roman Plastics Manufacturing”  becomes “K&R Plastics Manufacturing” and there are more pictures taken.  The photo sessions are a nice device and allow us to see them playing together.

Some more scenes of them making out various places, having more pictures taken, she blows him outdoors . . . but then the same old, same old sets in.  In another photo shoot, they change the name of the company to “K&R  Adult Novelties, Inc” — something that is clearly her idea and he doesn’t want any real part of it.

He’s banging her doggie style and her eyes roll.  It’s an uncomfortably funny scene.  More arguments. More sexual advances turned down . . .  and we’re only 25 minutes in!  Ginger looks thru old photo albums (see what they did there!) and tries to remember the good times.

A tense argument over dinner about business about her name not being on any business papers.  He tries to play it off as him being chivalrous – taking all the risk for shipping dildoes across state lines, and she asks for a divorce, and he doesn’t want one. SO she breaks a glass on the table and threatens that she hasn’t even gotten started yet.

Back at the office, Herschel is buttering up an unenhanced and super-cute Katie Morgan (God she plays — she is playing, right? — ditzy so fucking well) to be the K&R spokesperson.  She thanks him by blowing him . . . and as you could expect, Ginger walks in on them, but as you might not expect (since this is porn) SHE WALKS BACK OUT!

(I should take a moment to say how happy I am that Ginger’s character is named Karen.  Herschel has a great New York accent and every time he yells “Ka-ren!” I flash to Ray Liotta yelling at Lorraine Bracco in Goodfellas.)

Katie continues blowing him,then fucks him a bit and he shoots his wad across her chin.

Since turnabout is fairplay, Ginger, back at the house, fucks the poolboy (Kurt Lockwood) and Herschel catches them in the act.  Thjere’s a lot of good oral action from Ginger here, first as she’s in the pool and later as they’re 69’ing.  Ginger gets buggered and finally, Kurt cums all over her face.

(How times change. Last week’s review had zero facials in it as it was made at a time when they fell out of favor for health reasons.)

Next up, Katie MorganAva Devine and Aria are shooting some porn, and Herschel drops by the set to deliver some dildoes and Veronica Hart brushes him off, telling him she couldn’t use his toys because they kind of stink and she’s using Doc Johnson instead.  They talk business and he leaves, letting the g/g/g play out with Veronica shouting some direction while the girls go to town on one another with Aria squirting along the way.

Herschel is on the phone with Ginger and suggests a three way, and she’s playing with her guns and agrees to a three way… but not with him.  Billy Glide is having his cock sucked by big-titted Rebecca Love as Ginger sits by sipping some wine.  Herschel walks in with flowers and champagne but and sees the writing on the wall, and the tape on the floor — no three-way for him as Ginger spitefully begins to make out with Rebecca and Billy’s cock.  Once Ginger gets to blowing Billy, it gives Rebecca time to free her huge jugs from their bra before she jumps back onto Billy’s dick, happily sharing with Ginger.  Ginger keeps poking Rebecca with her tongue playfully.  It’s pretty cute and kinda hot.  Finally, he fucks Rebecca (condom) as he eats out Ginger.  Biggest problem with the scene is there’s not really enough full body shots of Rebecca.  You’ve got these huge tits, and you’re not really showing them off to their best advantage . . . Billy moves on to fuck Ginger and Ginger goes to town on Rebecca’s dripping wet box.  Finally, he shoots his load over the girls faces as they make out.

Herschel gets some stuff at the hardware store and throws a party trying to raise investment money for the business.  He chats up Brooke Hunter while Ginger gets hammered on some spiked wine.  She makes a complete fool of herself as Brooke and Herschel retire to the house for some negotations; and by negotiations, I mean fucking.

He eats her out , then they 69 each other , he fucks her, vaginally and anally, and then cums on her pussy.  She’s a little too porno fake for my tastes in this scene, so its good its kind of short.

Lastly, an orgy breaks out poolside — hey, good to see Kelly Nichols! — and Kris Slater has Vicky Vette and Pason working on his dick and Sergio bangs Dana Vespoli.  Of note, Vicky takes Kris up the bum before he cums on her and Red’s faces; and Sergio blows it on Dana’s chin as well.

Herschel wakes Ginger up and tells her he has her embarrassing display on tape, and her actions destroyed any attempts at getting funding.  She threatens him for spiking her drink, pulls a gun out from under her pillow and squeezes off a few shots.  He runs out, she grabs another gun from her bureau and goes after him.  He runs to a closet, pulls out an AK-47 and returns fire, and we’re back at the Mexican Standoff from the beginning.

The cops are outside and Ginger walks out with Herschel as a hostage.  She’s going to get that divorce.

Cut to Tina Tyler looking utterly amazing as Ginger’s lawyer, and the plot wraps itself up in a way that is true to itself.

This was a pretty good movie with 7 pretty solid sex scenes (scene breakdown 7 and 8 happen at the same time, but the pairings don ‘t interact)

Veronica Hart doesn’t do anything super flashy with her camera, dramatic scenes are mostly static shots that are cut back and forth which isn’t all that visually interesting. The camera moves a little more during the sex, but not a ton.  It’s a long way from a handheld gonzo. I hoped there would be more full body shots, but instead, everything is shot with 2/3 coverage, which is way better than a movie full of gyno shots.  I’m a sucker for seeing a girl’s entire body…

Best scenes to check out on VOD – I’m a sucker for Katie Morgan so she gets a nod and the Ginger Lynn / Rebecca Love / Billy Glide tryst was fun while it lasted (it’s one of the shorter scenes in the movie).

On the Imperial scale, it’s a 2.85 out of 4.0 – “2.50 to 3.35 are all good to great rentals” – it’s a good movie.  Not great by any measure, but it has some aspirations and it’s professionally made all around.  It’s not quite sure if it’s a comedy or a drama, but it does nicely with both tones when it has to play them.   The early scenes are fun and easy going, and Ginger and Herschel have no problem playing falling in love, nor is falling out of love a problem.

Today on Spice Radio: Torn (1999)

Today on Spice Radio’s YouPorn (SiriusXM 103) I’ll be talking about Veronica Hart‘s 1999 movie, Torn, starring Ginger Lynn and featuring today’s guest, RayVeness.

I’m reviewing this off the VOD available at HotMovies and this has been hacked to ribbons. Apparently, there’s a lot of plot cut out as well, because Riley’s review of the original VHS mentions lots of stuff we don’t get here.  (Riley’s review is not all that flattering as he has a fetish for 18 year old girls, and Ginger is not that in this movie.)  The VOD at HotMovies runs 72 minutes and the original movie was twice that at 141 minutes… but we go with what we got, and judge it on those merits…

The movie opens with a g/g between Chloe and Mia Smiles.  Chloe is an animalistic performer, and that is really evident when it’s her turn to receive from Mia.  Mia gets a hand up in Chloe and Chloe yells and screams pretty good.  She’s an intense performer and really gets lost in her performances, with eyes rolling back in her head and her whole body wracked by spasms.  There’s very little kissing in this scene, but the girls are completely in tune with one another.

We then cut to our star, Ginger Lynn, in a warehouse, dressed in a skintight black leather catsuit and climbing a rope cargo net.  She purrs “Boys, boys, boys, let’s do this!” and Alec MetroChris Cannon and Michael J. Cox go to town.  The guys are one side of the net and Ginger’s on the other.  Their cocks are all poking thru the net and she starts things off with a blowbang, maintaining eye contact with each of the lucky fellas.  Soon enough, they’re all on the same side of the net, and Ginger is grunting and panting as she’s sucking off  Chris and Michael while Alec eats her out (and works a finger into her ass to boot). Michael J. is the first to fuck her (with a condom).  He stops for a second and Ginger sneers at him “Are you going to fuck me?  If you’re going to fuck me, fuck me!” and he dives back in with gusto as she blows the other two, fitting both of their cocks in her mouth. Dissolve to Alec banging her silly (with condom) as Chris and Michael J. work on her face more.  Then the fun begins as Ginger is air tight with Alec going up the butt (condom) while Chris is working her pussy and Michael J is getting blown.  The boys then cum all over her torso and neck.

WTF?  The VOD has cut out Stacy Valentine?!? She first has a scene with Devin Wolf and then another with RayVeness and Julian.  What is going on here?!?

Skipping over that tragedy, next up is Juli Ashton who has never looked hotter.  She’s a flight attendant and she asks a passenger, Beth Ann Rafael, (in a poorly dubbed scene) if she’d like to cop a feel.  She steals second and then leaves to approach Ginger (whom she calls “Miss Bijou”) and strap her in her seat with wrist restraints.  Sean Michaels, in the window seat, asks is this “is a masturbatory flight” and Juli assures him it is and thanks him for asking.  He then whips it out and Ginger leans over to blow him.  Juli comes back down the aisle and asks Miss Bijou if she’s like a butt plug.    Ginger excitedly agrees and Juli goes down on her, eventually working the buttplug all the way in.  Juli returns with some strapons and DP’s Ginger with a large black dong and the aforementioned buttplug.  Juli goes away again and when she comes back, Ginger returns the favors, eating her out in a standing position which shows off Juli’s curves and allows Ginger easy access to her ass.  Juli wraps things up and Sean cums on Ginger’s tits.

Another dissolve and Ginger is teasing John Decker, not quite sucking him, just licking and teasing.  Ginger looks pretty great in a tight red sweater and jeans.  She asks him if he has any condoms with him and she pulls it out just as we cut to Chloe, Mia and Devin Wolf doing shots. (We missed some story development here, VOD editors!) Back to the pooltable and John is eating Ginger out, much to her light, and then he starts fucking her (condom).  There’s an energetis doggie session after which he cums on her ass accompanied by some insane grunting sounds.

Then we have Kylie Ireland blowing  Devin Wolf while porn mascot Scotty Schwartz is asleep next to them in the bed. (No explanation why.  I assume that’s in the 70 minutes of lost footage…) Kylie slips on a condom and climbs on top of Devin.  She rides him for quite a while before he flips her over.  She acknowledges Soccty quite often, worrying that they’re going to wake him up.  This makes for some nice mischievousness  to the point where Devin reaches to lift Kylie’s leg and lifts Scotty’s instead promping a big smile from Kylie which is nice.  Eventually, he pulls out and cums on her belly and tits.  It’s a pretty long scene for just two positions.

Now we have Ginger and Chloe looking deeply into each others eyes.  As intense as Chloe was with Mia, it’s all gentle and cooing with Ginger.  A review tells us this is because she is Ginger’s biggest fan and this is a fantasy come true, so this is more lovemaking than fucking.  Ginger does some nipple biting, so it’s not all romance and candlight and eventually the girls share a double dong… an act that I suspect requires quite a bit of practice to get the physics right. The girls share an orgasm and end with a kiss.

Last up is Ginger Lynn with Devin Wolf.  It starts with him eating her out , then she blows him and then he jerks off onto his belly.  He apologies to “Claire” for cumming so soon.  This is a pretty short scene. But wait!  He gets his second wind and bangs her with reckless abandon (condom), eventually cumming “inside her” which means “we don’t see it.”

Then the credits roll, and we see all these people had character names, and people we never saw are listed (Sharon Mitchell, Veronica HartTina Tyler, etc.)

 

 

Voracious and horny

I wanted to temporarily come out of reviewing retirement to comment on John Stagliano‘s take on the vampire movie, Voracious.  Given that the scenes are labeled as “episode”s, perhaps I should say that the boxed set of dvds is his take on the vampire television show like True Blood and Vampire Diaries. These episodes were originally released on the Evil Angel website. I had read in a press release that Stagliano liked working with vampire lore because he could make up some of the rules about what vampires can and can not do. Overall, the storyline works, but you can sort of spot him mixing and matching themes from different movies and shows.  I’m not going to give too many spoilers but if all you want is just a scene by scene breakdown of the movie, fu_q at ADT did a great job of  it.

Brooklyn Lee plays a vampire who struggles to retain her humanity. She’s dead and not loving it so much. More like Angel than Blade.  However, the food is just too tempting especially when it is in the form of the male lead, Manuel Ferrara, who is introduced to us similar to the way Jonathan Harker was introduced to us. You poor poor sap. The vampires have strict rules about what they can do with/to humans like in True Blood, even if they really wanted or deserve it.  One of the common vampire themes that Stagliano explains is how exactly vampires glamour their victims. The victims either envisions the vampire’s desire to have sex  or they see what’s going to happen anyway in a porno.

The sex is hard and intense throughout, and it’s no surprise given several of the selected actors. I had never watched a Brooklyn Lee scene before but she is energetic and convincingly plays a sexual vampire who make her victims constantly yearn for her.  The other vampires seem to agree. Lea Lexis plays her buddy vampire who is more in line with the rules of her vampire clan (think the initial Selena from Underworld) yet is still sensitive to the struggles of her friend.  Omar Galanti who could easily pass for Nosferatu, Sandra Romain, and Rocco play  clan elders while Steve Holmes plays a priest like Caleb from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Brooklyn Lee and Lea Lexis

The movie is visually stunning but not as colourful as Fashionistas  given the Gothic theme.  The scene lighting is mostly set dark with lots of shadows, somewhat washed out colours to emphasise the undead, and intentionally grainy video to give it a film feel. The music score fits to the mood and does not detract from the sex. There are the common vampire special effects involved but do not expect too much out of a porn budget.

BDSM is a dominant theme if you’re eager for all of that freaky shit. It’s dominant but not to the point where it detracts from the scene due to the intensity of the performers. As for the actual acting, Brooklyn plays her role well as the conflicted vampire and Lexis’s Romanian accent works.  As for the non-essential female performers, it’s clear that the ability to read lines was not a priority for the roles of dead street hookers.  With the guys,  there’s always unintentional comedy when I watch  Rocco, Steve, and Manu take on serious roles. It’s a combination of their accents and the fact that they are/seem such likable guys. It’s like watching a vampire Mentos commercial or a Right Said Fred video.

Today on Spice Radio: Nice Rack 4 (2000)

Today on Spice Radio’s YouPorn (Sirius XM 103, 3:00ish Eastern, Noonish Pacific) I’ll be talking to Ginger and Christy about Vince Vouyer‘s Nice Rack 4, featuring today’s guest Tera Patrick.

It feels strange reviewing a movie made in the 2000s. :-)

This is a straight gonzo movie, which means limited locato=ions, some direct talking to the camera, lots of POV angles, extreme closeups and a soul crushing sameness to the proceedings.

Scene 1: Dorian Grant and Mark Davis

We start out with Dorian Grant talking to camera and showing off her natural 34DDs.  It’s a strong start.  Dorian is very attractive and pretty soon, she’s sucking Mark Davis‘  cock.  She’s not getting a lot of it in her mouth, and she spends some time looking past the camera.  Mark lifts his legs up letting her get her pierced tongue all up in his butt for a couple minutes of rimming.

An odd video transition later, and Mark is eating her out, and she’s explaining to the camera how great he is at pussy eating, so of course he stops a moves to fingering her.  He goes back down on her, sucking her labia out and she’s giggling on the weight bench they have her on.  The smiles are nice, but the clenched eyes seem a little put on.

Then he dicks her.  She’s got a little bit of a belly, and I stand with Tarantino on this one, as he points out in Pulp Fiction:

Fabienne: . . . on a woman, a pot belly is very sexy. The rest of you is normal. Normal face, normal legs, normal hips, normal ass, but with a big, perfectly round pot belly. If I had one, I’d wear a tee-shirt two sizes too small to accentuate it.
Butch: You think guys would find that attractive?
Fabienne: I don’t give a damn what men find attractive. It’s unfortunate what we find pleasing to the touch and pleasing to the eye is seldom the same.

Word.

So she has her legs in the air, and it seems like it’s taking more effort than she’d like as her smiles go away, and she seems to be concentrating on holding herself open for the camera; but not for too long since we ha another odd transntion and now she’s on top of him, and they camera just focuses on her quim.

You’ve got a girl with great tits, why don’t you put her in reverse cowgirl and keep her in a wide shot?  Instead, we get very brief pull outs to wide shots while the cameraguy adjusts for a new angle where we don’t get to see the girl much. This is my problem with modern porn and gonzo in particular — the concentration on the gyno shots and not attempting to show off the girls in their best light.  Instead, it’s all hammering dicks at high TPM (thrusts per minute).

We finally get Dorian in RC (reverse cowgirl) and she’s all jiggly which is nice; but her tattoo is on only one side of her navel, so it makes her look lopsided in the long shots… but there’s not a lot of long shots, as we have to keep cutting in to the anonymous close-ups.

They move to missionary which shows off her Nice Rack and Mark pulls out and jerks on her tongue and cheek.  He finishes by titfucking her a little.

The scene was fine, but I really find the lack of set up to be distracting.  It becomes apparent that the only reason these two are fucking each other is because they’re being paid to.  At least with a story, I can be made to believe they like each other…

Scene 2: Fanny (as Cherry Lee) and the late, great Jon Dough

Cherry’s scene starts out with generic production library music and a set of anonymous breasts jumping up and down and then pressed together. She introduces herself with a thick french accent, mentions her breasts are a 36C (and then asks an off-camera person for confirmation) and then she’s sucking Jon’s cock as he lays on a couch.  Zero set up.  Just cut to the cocksucking.

I wish I didn’t have the disdain for the genre that I do… but the formula just doesn’t really work for me.

Cherry’s attractive enough with a big bush.  She’s shown off a bit better with more full body shots, but she’s also thinner; so perhaps they thought they were doing us a favor by minimizing how much they revealed of Dorian?

Anyway, there’s no talking in the scene, there’s some breast play but not as much as you’d expect from a series called Nice Rack.

There’s some nice RC, but the bodies are diagonal in the frame which isn’t the most flattering angle, tho it does make the body as large as it could be.

They movie to doggie, then without any discussion between them, he pulls out, lays her down on the couch and shoves his finger in her ass, and then a few fingerbangs later, he shoves his dick up there for some anal mish. She sucks her tits a bit which is nice, and then  they’re back to the reverse cowgirl with anal spicing it up this time, and we actually spend some time on the waist up here.

She’s huffing and puffing as this seems more physically exerting than pleasurable. Finally, he pulls out and jerks off on her face and mouth, and she spits it out.  Technically, this qualifies as ass-to-mouth, I think.

Scene 3: Misty Mendez and Vince Vouyer

Misty is a very smily girl who introduces herself right to the camera and then leans over to suck Vince’s cock.  There’s again no set up, but she does make little yummy noises while she’s eating him, and he fingerbangs her.

They don’t waste much time before she’s riding him RC with her panties pulled off to the side.  She makes good eye contact with the camera, occasionally closing her eyes in an effort to make us believe she’s having a good time.  Vince briefly plays with her nipples which makes nice rippling waves across her breasts, but the play is short lived.

They move thru the standard mish, doggie and back to mish before Vince jacks off on her face.  She doesn’t seem particularly enthused, but she attempts to pass it off as breathless ecstasy.

Scene 4: Casey Carlin and Erik Everhard

More anonymous boob shaking and then Casey introduces herself from Dallas, TX with 36C tits and then we dissolve to her with Erik’s cock in her mouth. She smiles a lot and looks up at him which are good things.  She looks at the camera too which is OK, but I prefer looking into the camera only when we’re in a POV situation, otherwise she breaks the fourth wall and it’s distracting to me.

She’s back on the weight bench and he fingres her some before she gets on the bench and pulls her on top of him for some reverse mish (she’s laying back on him; not riding like in a true RC.) Her facial expressions alternate between “Don’t fall off the bench” concentration and pleasure with a touch of holding back which may, upon reflection, just be her O Face.

He gets her back on the bench for some doggie, then he works a finger into her ass; then he’s back on the bench for some RAC and then some mish anal.  He never gets particularly deep on the anal; just down to the circumcision ridge, and she yelps “Ow!” a few times, so perhaps she’s just being a trooper here … her close ups don’t make her look all that excited and she vocalizes some discomfort as he sticks it back in.  Finally, he just jerks it onto her face and she dribbles the cum out of her mouth.  He does the patented Anabolic/RLD “scoop the cum back up into her mouth with your finger” move and we fade out.  (Another technical A2M).

Scene 5: Leandra and Vince Vouyer

Leandra introduces her 36D breasts and we break our formula and cut to Vince eating her out.  They move to her sucking him off, then rimming him briefly before we are transitioned into RC.

She’s spirited and doesn’t seem against the endeavor as the previous two were.  But it’s sort of generic.  After running thru a few standard positions (doggie, cowgirl) Vince jerks off on her chin and she enthusiastically gobbles it up.

Scene 6: Tera Patrick with Erik Everhard and Vince Vouyer

Tera introduces herself having “100% natural” 36Ds and she’s not afraid to show them off.  They’re pretty awesome.

She sits on a couch and talks dirty a bit as she plays with her tits.  The camera tho, insists on being so close up, it’s tough to enjoy them for what they are since they take up our entire field of vision.  But she tugs on her nipples and grabs some ice to get her nipples all hard.  She runs the ice up her leg, licks it and then rubs it all over her tits, getting them hard and wet.

But again, without warning, she’s got a cock in her mouth.  However, we at least get her grinning and saying “That’s what I wanted!” as she chows down.  Likely because she’s into it, her eye contact with the camera doesn’t seem creepy, but rather, it’s inviting.  No one would confuse her oral skills with deep throating, but Erik seems to be enjoying it.  (They sure did work together a lot early in her career.)

Transition to her rimming and talking dirty to us, teasing us.  This works.  We move to her rimming POV and looking up at us.  In a wide shot, she’s on her knees bent over eating his ass, and she reaches back to unzip her skirt.  Hot stuff which I would have liked to see more of; but we cut away to another closeup.

Next up, Erik is going to town eating her out and fingering while she slips a nipple into her mouth, and smiles at us.  He might be fucking her, but she’s clearly thinking about us.  It’s the great big eyes.  She coos as she slides his two fingers in and out and we transition to her standing over him as she asks “Can I have some cock now?” and she lowers herself onto his rod, and happily, the camera op pulls back to give us a full body shot of her riding him RC. (He’s a little low, shooting up at them, but I’ll take it.)

He flips her around mish and fucks her until she cums.  Vince can’t take it anymore and he pulls his cock out of his shorts and she takes it right in her mouth.  The angle is a little weird, so she has to work to get it in here, so she can just suckle on it; it’s not a real serious BJ at first, but she does manage to work her head back and forth on it, despite a vigorous fucking from EE.

They spin her around and Erik goes all doggie style on her, but at some point he moves around for more head and Vince comes in to take a few strokes.  (Still hasn’t taken his shorts off.)  But just as Vince starts to go, Erik cockblocks him with the phrase “I have to cum!” and Tera jumps off Vince’s cock and kneels before Erik for him to stroke-stroke-stroke onto her.  She’s sick of it, so she just puts him into her mouth and swallows him cum right down.  (No pic or it isn’t true?) but then she turns around and finishes Vince off with some more head and he jerks off onto her face and chin, leaving her to clean him off as some cum drips down her chin.  She pushes the rest into her mouth and swallows.

So.

Tera’s scene wins hands down and it’s not because she’s going to be on the show; it was simply the best scene.  They had a girl who wanted to be there, who was fucking gorgeous as all get out (this, of course, was pre-contract and pre-cosmetic enhancements, the latter being a serious crime against nature) and wanted to fuck these guys.  She and Everhard have chemistry together since they worked so much together, and she seemed down for unexpectedly (we’re led to believe anyway) taking on Vince.

The angles on her scene weren’t so close-up to be distracting, and they really did try to capture her beauty and sexiness.

Can’t say the same for the other scenes really.  The Dorian scene was the next strongest scene, followed by Misty and Leandra with then Fanny and Casey pulling up the rear.

VOD the last scene for sure and the first scene if you like a little pot belly.

 

Today on Spice Radio: Bikini Beach 1, 2 and 3 (1993)

Today at 2:30ish Eastern / 11:30ish Pacific on XM103 Spice Radio’s YouPorn, I’ll be talking with Christy and Ginger about Jim Enright‘s 1993 series, Bikini Beach.

In 1993, Jim Enright and Will Divide put a bunch of pornstars on a plane and took them to Cabo to drink beers and fuck while the cameras rolled.  The result was a three part series, Bikini Beach – Parts 1, 2 and 3.  This was the first movie where I fell in love with today’s guest, Rebecca Bardoux, so I figured I’d revisit the series to see how it held up.

Basically, the fun and frolic runs out of the series as it goes along.  The first installment is the best one, and while I suspect the fun and frolic lasted throughout their trip, we saw less and less of the fun — but just as much frolic — as we got to Part 3.

Part One

The first movie starts with a long set up, it’s about 12 minutes or so before we get to the first sex scene.  After the credit sequence (which is the same in all three films, tho they boys’ names are left out of the All-Girl Part 3) we are treated to footage of the cast and crew boarding the plane, then disembarking and driving out to their rental and finally they head off to the beach.  There’s lots of cute interactions and everyone seems to be enjoying each other’s company.

The first stop is Lovers Beach where most of the cast runs around naked while the crew guys work on their tans with their shorts on.  Lots of beer on hand.

Tiffany Mynx and Randy West find a secluded area of the beach and have a shag.  She lays out a blanket and Randy pins down the corners with their towels. Tiff’s breasts have such a great bounce to them as she’s romping around getting things ready.  She sits down, posing  and looking out at the surf.  Randy plans himself down next to her and they start to cuddle.  Cuddling leads to fondling.  Fondling leads to cocksucking.  It is no secret that Tiffany is a master cocksucker and her talents are well displayed here, even while working on Randy’s average prick.  She maintains a lot of eye contact with him, so it seems less like they’re performing than they’re just being spied upon, and that candor adds to the heat.  After some decent fucking, Randy blows a most un-Randy like cumshot onto her face (you can actually see the cum!) and she cleans him off.  Good stuff.

Next up, Crystal WilderJonathan Morgan and Crystal’s real life husband, Terry Thomas, find their own spot on the beach and Crystal gets double teamed (but not DP’d).  This seemed a bit more set up and perform-y, unlike the earlier Randy/Tiff pairing.  Crystal’s cock sucking was always dependent on a lot of spit — she was a trailblazer in this area — and she slather’s Jon’s cock as Terry eats her out and works a finger into her ass.  Jon jerks off near her face (he’s on his back which is always a cumshot fail position) and Terry jerks a sizable load off onto her ass.It’s a professional scene that hits the requisite marks, but doesn’t really rise above it.

Next up, Rebecca Bardoux is sunning herself and TT Boy sneaks over the rocks and surprises her.  She opens her eyes to see him above her and she lets a big smile play over her face.  He bends down to her, she throws her hat away and they make out.  She’s naked, he’s clothed.  She’s got John Lennon spec sunglasses on, and she smiles a lot.  God, I love smiling in porn.  He drops his shorts and he’s already at attention, so she makes sweet sweet mouth love to his organ. She doesn’t attempt to deep throat; choosing to focus on the head while her hand does the stroking.  She lies back and let’s him return the favor.  It’s tough to read her expression as one of pleasure or just merely tolerance for the position; but then she sits up and grinds her box into him and rocks her hips, so she seemed to be getting into it towards the end of the carpet munching.  Some more making out and he stands her up against the rock and takes her doggie style.  After some pounding, he turns her around on the rocks for some standing sex, and I couldn’t help but wonder how the rocks were digging into her back; but she took it like a trooper and when he’s about the cum, she drops to her knees and orders him to cum on her face.  He misses the first blast, but the rest hit their mark and she cleans him up.

Randy West takes Lacy Rose and Sierra to a hurricane swept abode and they make awkward small talk, with Randy repeating how the structure didn’t fare well in the hurricane and his not-as-clever-by-half joke  “Talk about a blow job.”   Awkwardness aside, Lacy and Sierra start to go at it on a broken section of wall while Randy just watches, touching himself.  Lacy’s fake books don’t look that great, especially when compared to Sierra’s all natural body.  The girls start teasing Randy and he invites himself over.  There’s a lot of laughing coming from Lacy as Sierra eats her and she’s snacking on Randy’s cock; but finally Randy comes up behind Sierra and hammers it home. Lots of porno screaming ensues and as Randy’s energetically fucking Lacy, he pulls out and jerks it on her belly as Sierra leans in to clean him off.

The last scene is subtitles “Party Time” and is back at the house.  Everyone has beers and Sierra is a little drunk and TT Boy is macking on her, and before you can think it, she’s blowing him.  This is an epic scene.  All the cast is around, but no one really is involved; they’re just cheering on the little drunk girl and the jackhammer that is TT Boy.  This is a long scene, about 20 minutes, and TT literally fucks her silly.   She pours Corona all over herself, she gets fucked around (I do mean, around) the table. TT Boy has her on her back, the table is slick with beer, sweat and love and he walks around the table, fucking her all the way. She goes nuts. NUTS!  N-V-T-S nuts! TT tries to get Rebecca and others in on the action, but they know its Sierra’s show. She ends it by taking TT’s load on her face. A decent facial.

So ends part one with a major bang, which was the AVN award winner for Best Sex Scene in 1993.  The Crystal scene and the first Sierra scenes are skippable, but the Tiffany, Rebecca and second Sierra scenes are keepers, with the Sierra scene being the grand champion.

 

PART TWO

This is subtitled “Slippery When Wet” and it starts with everyone on a fishing boat.  There’s a little “lifestyle” stuff with people catching tiny fish, but there’s not a ton of color.  Lacy Rose touches herself a bit during the opening, but finally, we settle on Summer Knight and Nick Rage who are playing with a hose, with Nick shooting streams of water into Summer’s girly bits.  They take their time playing with the hose — with Nick fingering her while she lets the stream play over her clit. This transitions into her sucking his cock for a little while, letting it “pop!” out of her mouth before he fucks her doggie style and slips his thumb up her ass.  She gets all porny-screaming at this point, having been mostly subdued up until this point.  He flips her over for the briefest of missionaries and then he cums on her face as she’s making goo-goo- eyes at the camera.  I always liked Summer, despite her bolt-ons, and she looks good here.

We pan over to see Alicia Rio and Tiffany Mynx enjoying each other’s company, and soon TT Boy is horning in on the action, having his way with Tiffany.  Alicia stays away from his manliness, letting Tiff do all the heavy lifting.  Alicia sucks Tiffany’s toes as she sits on Tiffany’s face, while TT Boy is pounding away on Tiffany’s nether regions.  There are some nice shots of Tiff’s eyes peeking out from under Alicia at this point. They move from missionary to standing doggie, and TT finally cums on Tiff’s ass.

Below deck, Lacy Rose is blowing Randy West, and shortly thereafter, Rebecca Bardoux gets in on the action, taking over the blowjob duties while Lacy site on Randy’s face.  Rebecca then rides Randy in a little more set up way while Lacy just sits back and plays with herself, occasionally slipping a hand in here and there.  Lacy gets taken doggie and Rebecca slides herself under them in an action that gets cut away from waaay too quickly.  Ostensibly, Randy cums on our girls’ faces, but there is absolutely no evidence of this, but the girls clean him off anyway.

Next up is some “play time” which is basically the girls waving and the boys showing off their underwater camera (something that will pay off in the third installment.)  There’s cheesy mexican synth music playing over these scenes, and it really does kind of take away from the “reality” that they tried to establish in the first episode.  It’s as if Enright just got bored… or maybe the crew was too drunk to come up with usable footage that far into the trip?  Who knows.

To round out the movie, Crystal WilderTT BoySierra and Jonathan Morgan find themselves on the beach near some sort of concrete structure and they pair off to go at it. TT and Crystal hop on an ATV to find a secluded spot for some fucking and they waste no time getting down to business.  More Mexican Guitar Music over their scene, which leads me to believe it was too windy to get any usable audio, so they’re doing the best they can with what they got.  They go at it standing doggie, and you can hear her moans kind of cut thru the audio mix, but not by much.  They end up in reverse cowgirl which shows off her nice lean body and her plastic tits, then she launches off him to catch his cumshot on her chin.

Finally, Sierra and Jonathan Morgan are playing in the surf; she’s naked, he’s in a suit, and stupid porn banter ensues.  I assume this is Morgan’s fault as he can’t help but be a little insincere.  There’s a lot of kissing on the beach blanket before Jon goes in for the fingerbango. They fuck doggie and he jerks it on her butthole as he implores her to “rub it in, yeah, rub it in!” in horrible stupid porn talk.  They run off into the surf as we dissolve to Crystal writing “The End” in the sand.

This was a weaker installment by far.  The Tiff scene probably gets the highest marks because she and Alicia play well off each other and she knows how to ride TT Boy.  Everything else was far less spontaneous than the first movie and a lot more porny.

PART THREE

This is an all-girl video, and the weakest of three in terms of  spontaneity and fun. These scenes are just set up and they play out as most porn scenes do.  Not a lot special here.

We start with Alicia Rio and Summer Knight in a pool, and we get to see the underwater camera in action here.  The girls enjoy themselves enough for it not to be a total washout (no pun intended)

Next, back on the boat, and Alicia RioSummer Knight and Lacy Rose are playing with fishing poles, and something that phallic can only lead to one thing, and the girls go at it.  Alicia massages Summer’s tits and there’s lot of kissing which is nice.  There’s a lot of tanning oil and Summer’s feet finds their way to Alicia’s and Lacy’s twats.  The girls grind against Summer’s feet and Alicia moves up to Summer’s knee and grinds all over it.  Pretty good stuff.

Better yet was Tiffany Mynx and Lacy Rose, going at it on the boat’s deck.  Tiffany just makes a meal out of Lacy and Lacy responds to every lick.  Tiffany bends Lacy over and pours beer down her crease and eats her out as Lacy just bucks her hips and really reacts.  I’m not the hugest mid-90s g/g fan, but this was pretty great; so much so the entire cast and crew is watching them go to town.

Crystal Wilder and Sierra take their place on the deck as the sun is setting and they enjoy their sapphic love.

Last scene takes place “Back Home” in Jim Enright‘s edit suite and Lacy Rose stops by.  She shows Jim the Hustler layout from the vacation and he shows her some footage which she masturbates to.  It’s a long scene and she uses a dildo towards the end of it.  She looks great in her white wifebeater, but once it comes off we’re back to the oddly placed saline sacks… but she seems to lose herself in the moment, so its forgiven.

This was the weakest entry of the three, having really only two scenes of note — the Alicia/Summer/Lacy threesome is tight and the Tiffany/Lacy scene is great.  The other scenes are OK, but nothing all that special, just generic mid-90s porn.