Category Archives: Shooting the Bull

How Long Does it Take to Become an AVN Hall of Famer?

How Long Must I Work To Be An AVN Hall

Looking over the list of 2015 AVN Hall of Name inductees, we found some favorites listed, and Kaylani Lei caught my eye because it seemed like she “just started” in 2002, and entrance into the hallowed hall should take some more time to earn… (this is purely a subjective reading of what it takes to get into the Hall and is not intended to reflect on her or anyone’s deservedness. I also think 2002 feels like last week instead of 12 years ago)

So, I figured I’d run the numbers and see what came up.

Turns out, it takes 16.76 years of service, on average to get into the Hall, so Kaylani’s 13 years in the industry puts her a little ahead of the curve. Some of her fellow nominees got in as quicker than the average – Kelly Madison (12 years),  Dan O’Connell (13), Tim Von Swine and Porno Dan (14) and Joanna Jet (15).  But most took a little longer: Alana Evans and Wesley Pipes (17), Eli Cross (18), Andre Madness (19), Billy Glide and Craven Moorehead (20), Greg Alves (21), Marci Hirsch (23), Howard Levine, Talon and Rayveness (25), Will Ryder (29), Karen Summer (33), Marc Dorcel (36) and the longest time to induction ever goes to this year’s honoree, Al Goldstein (47 years).

Some other fun facts – Joey Stefano and Victoria Paris were both inducted in 1997 with only 8 years under their belts; Shy Love got inducted next fastest with only 10 years in the industry.

This analysis is also incomplete in that we don’t list every inductee; just the ones we have database records on; so not everyone in the executive branch is listed (Sorry Bonnie!) nor is anyone in the Pleasure Products or Internet Branch listed, as we don’t cover those parts of the industry.

I put the spreadsheet up on Google Docs for those of you interested in having a look.  The “First Year” column is pulled from our “Years Active” field except in cases where it was clearly wrong, i.e. Christian Mann has a couple titles listed in the IAFD from last year, but he was part of the industry since 1979.  We arrived at that year because he was called a “35 year veteran of the industry” in his obituary.  We noted these cases in the aptly named NOTES field. :-)  And since this is the “Class of 2015” we use that year for our calculations, even tho we’re still in 2014 as of this writing…

You’re free to make comments on the spreadsheet.

 

 

Congratulations Timmy

I would like to congratulate Baron T.Otto Wilhelm Gunther Dietrich Von Swine IVth otherwise known as Tim Von Swine to you commoners for his induction into the AVN Hall of Fame. He joins his partner in crime, Mike John (2014 class), in the Hall for his contributions to gonzo with his no holds barred pig slop.

Von Swine at the center of attention

I first met Timmy almost a decade ago through Jake Malone (RIP) and was shocked that he knew me from my old reviews on ADT. He pulled no punches describing the ins and out of the industry, and that candor was refreshing even if it turned off others and may have held him back in the business. Whether it was discussing hockey, music, his favourite women, or his work, he wasn’t going to bullshit you.

I salute you, Swine, and we need to chug some beers next month.

Happy Christmas (Porn is Over Here, If You Want It)

Christmas Porn (1)

For the past few years or so, we’ve been highlighting Christmas themed titles that we have in our datbaase, and we’ve added quite a few this year, so we thought it might be time for another list.

Straight Titles

2014

2013

2012 and Prior…

Gay Titles

2013-2014

2012 and Prior

Exxxotica New Jersey 2014

Exxxotica: NJ

Well it took more than a week to decompress and sort through the photos but here’s the obligatory report on my seventh Exxxotica, the first in New Jersey that I attended. It was by far the busiest one which surprised me considering the limited accessibility of the location. The New Jersey Convention Center & Expo is in an industrial park area with limited public transit and no retail within a mile radius. You pretty much have to have a car to attend and stay around unlike Exxxoticas Chicago and Florida. I guess having a city of nine million nearby plus the megalopolis known as the East Coast helps with the attendance.

The Entire Gallery on Flickr

Friday was busy with the ladies free promotion and so was Saturday. If you wanted to see the ladies without lines, then you go Sunday. I saw a lot of bright and perky friends which I attributed to the later start time of the show (1pm). They were happy to have their photos taken (with one exception), but if you wanted a photo with them then it cost you. I also noticed photobooths for the first time which were a cute novel idea.

Belle Knox Onyx Muse Stoya

Some thoughts & observations:

  • Arrangement Finders booth was the busiest booth with their placement in the front of the convention, an emcee, and a photobooth. I think the only requirement to take photos with the girls was to signup. Onyx Muse was a delight and presumed I didn’t need to sign up and I didn’t understand how backhanded this was until I found out later that it was  site for sugar daddies and sugar babies. Heh. I didn’t catch her being naughty like Anime Nut did in Chicago but still heard her ordering the guys to, “pull my hair” & “grab my boobs” for their photos. Oh Onyx. Not only are you on the Reggie Cleveland porn roster with your name, you are also now a favourite of mine.
  • Belle Knox was the first person I saw. I found her shy and outwardly very young. I felt awkward and old asking her about school, and she seemed uncomfortable answering.
  • Stoya did not want many photos taken of her outside of the photobooth. At first I was puzzled since I had taken many over the years but I caught her blinking multiple times after each flash that I deduced the hundreds/thousands of strobes that go off a day hurt her eyes. Not only at the signings but when she goes out to dinner. One night, we were at the same restaurant and I noted that the wait staff was more busy asking her for photo ops instead of actually serving her and prefacing the request with, “I’m your biggest fan!”. She told me about a restaurant owner in Japan who met his wife at a Tomoyasu Hotei concert and decorated his restaurant with Hotei memorabilia from the last 20 or 30 years but never described himself as Hotei’s biggest fan. The moral I got then was to turn off the flash with Stoya and always squeal “I’m your biggest fan!” when I see her.
  • Mick Blue told me a story about how he once got cock blocked by a cow in the Alps. You have to hear it directly from him. I don’t remember how this conversation came about but I remember telling him about cow tipping as a kid, which he thought was a dumb idea.
  • Phoenix Marie was dressed as a panda on Sunday. A PANDA! What could be better than a panda until  I found out there was a second panda with Jada Stevens‘s booty. TWO PANDAS!

Mick Blue holding Anikka Albrite Phoenix Marie & Jada Stevens - TWO PANDAS

Data Looks Dope: Top 100 Female Porn Stars

WHAT 100

Max Einstein over at Data Looks Dope recently published an article where he took the 100 pornstars as listed over at xvideos.com and glommed their stats from us and made a fascinating (some might say, dope) graphic representing his findings.

He broke the actresses down by cup size, enhanced or natural breasts, measurements, height and ethnicity and laid it out in a giant graphic which you can get to over at his site.

top_porn_stars_with_title600