Category Archives: Shooting the Bull

Data Looks Dope: Top 100 Female Porn Stars

WHAT 100

Max Einstein over at Data Looks Dope recently published an article where he took the 100 pornstars as listed over at xvideos.com and glommed their stats from us and made a fascinating (some might say, dope) graphic representing his findings.

He broke the actresses down by cup size, enhanced or natural breasts, measurements, height and ethnicity and laid it out in a giant graphic which you can get to over at his site.

top_porn_stars_with_title600

A Sad Day in NYC: The Boob Bounce House Was Closed

Had a couple of hours to kill in NYC yesterday, so Cuddly Wombat suggested I go see the Bounce House of Boobs over at The Museum of Sex.  I had only been to the museum once before, to see a panel of the Club 90 girls discuss their time in the industry, and I didn’t get a chance to walk around it much; plus, since it’s a museum, its exhibits rotate. So I figured it’d be a good time to visit.

The bounce house got a lot of press because of its absurdity and because (let’s face it) boobs — NY Magazine wrote Adventures Inside the Big-Boob Bounce House which is how I first heard of the Funland exhibit — but there were also exhibits on The Sex Lives of Animals and The Eve of Porn: Linda Lovelace, at least one which interested me.

Street level is the gift shop which is the highest end of sex-positive toy stores – lots of vibrators and condoms and books and cum rags (only $10!).

2014-07-19 16.17.23

I wasn’t sure what kind of crowd the place would attract on a Saturday afternoon in the summer, and it was a broad cross section of people – lots of young people , some older couples, and me – a middle-aged white guy in shorts walking around solo.  Happily, I did not read the vibe as creepy, which was my concern as I was waiting to buy my ticket in line with a bunch of couples or groups.

$17.95 + tax gets you access to the museum; their website currently has a coupon (thru Sept 3, 2014) for $3 off admission if you give them your email address.

You walk up the stairs, and the second floor gallery covers the Linda Lovelace exhibit.  Say what you will about Linda, she was a pioneer in how the industry was perceived — both good and (later) bad.  The walls are covered with some very attractive nudes of her shot by Milton Greene which are simply gorgeous in their printing, matting and framing.  The back wall is covered by a video projection showing the climax (literally) of Deep Throat.  (One older couple is looking at the pictures on the wall, and a guy’s wife is hitting him, saying “Larry!  Avert your eyes! Look at the pictures!”)  The design of the space is minimalist – large white room with black hand-lettering interspersed with large typeset signs. These signs around the space give a history of Linda’s time in the industry.

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The exhibit doesn’t shy away from any parts – a series of monitors along one wall detail various episodes of her life – biographer Eric Danville’s interviews of her which led to her appearing in a series of cheesecake shots for Leg Show in January 2001; I was surprised to see Legs McNeil’s interview with Eric Edwards as an way to cover Linda’s appearance in Dog Fucker.  A wall of porno playing cards featuring Linda and husband/manager/abuser Chuck Traynor were displayed as well.


It didn’t take a long time to peruse the exhibit, but it was a good, broad overview of her career, subsequent dismissal of it, and her brief return to it; and it was well designed.

The next floor up had the other two exhibits – Funland and The Sex Lives of Animals.

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The Sex Lives of Animals is a very detailed look at how other species have relations – from asexual reproduction to the bonobo chimps trading sugar cane for sex.  There’s a LOT of text on the walls, and there are pretty cool sculptures around the space of various animals fucking each other.  (The sculpture of the bonobo monkey with his huge thin boner and two fistfuls of sugar cane is a sight to behold.)

From there – the reason for my journey – Funland, and its big bounce house of boobs.

But first, we have to pass the climbing wall, where everything you’re gripping is anatomical:

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Then through a mirror maze to find the G-Spot (kind of fun, actually) then past a little carnival midway where there’s a peep show of old carny porn and a midway game where you have to roll a ball into a hole to make your silver plated cock race:

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And then finally, tucked away in the corner is the bounce house.

2014-07-020

 

Wait, what?  The bounce house is closed??!? AAAAAAUUUUUGH!

Turns out the exhibit wasn’t quite holding up to the rigors of a full time installation, so they were deflating it to install a new one, so it was going to be out of commission until the 21st of July… but we were allowed to take some pictures inside which my phone just couldn’t process that well:

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And with that, I made my way back out of the museum and out onto Fifth Avenue where I snapped the picture everyone in the world snaps – the Flatiron Building – and headed crosstown to grab some grub to take home from Daisy May’s BBQ.  (You should really go to there if you like meat.)

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Ask the IAFD: Who are the most prolific white female interracial performers?

So, we were asked for a list of the most prolific white pornstars who did interracial, which is to say have been tagged in the database as having done an IR scene, and this is what the database spit out, ignoring compilations and casual racism.

We ran the numbers two ways – one by sheer number of movies, and another by percentages. So, sure, India Summer looks impressive with 118 titles to her credit, but out of 567 titles, it’s only a 20.8 Career IR Average Percentage (CIRA). So, there’s two lists towards the bottom which looks at performers who made as many movies as Kaylynn (#20 on our list)…

And then, I grabbed the people who are currently performing to find out our current CIRA leaders…

India Summer
Active: 2005-2014
IR Titles: 118
Kelly Divine
Active: 2007-2014
IR Titles: 101
Katja Kassin
Active: 2003-2014
IR Titles: 100
Trina Michaels
Active: 2004-2014
IR Titles: 94
Gianna Michaels
Active: 2004-2013
IR Titles: 93
Sophie Dee
Active: 2005-2014
IR Titles: 93
Kelly Wells
Active: 2004-2013
IR Titles: 92
Sara Jay
Active: 2001-2014
IR Titles: 90
Chelsie Rae
Active: 2005-2014
IR Titles: 87
Dana DeArmond
Active: 2005-2014
IR Titles: 84
Flower Tucci
Active: 1999-2013
IR Titles: 83
Janet Mason
Active: 2000-2014
IR Titles: 83
Nina Hartley
Active: 1984-2014
IR Titles: 79
Bobbi Starr
Active: 2006-2014
IR Titles: 79
Sara Swirls
Active: 2007-2007
IR Titles: 78
Eva Angelina
Active: 2003-2014
IR Titles: 78
Amber Rayne
Active: 2005-2014
IR Titles: 77
Luscious Lopez
Active: 2004-2014
IR Titles: 74
Sandra Romain
Active: 2000-2014
IR Titles: 71
Kaylynn
Active: 1998-2014
IR Titles: 70
But, that takes sheer numbers into account. What if we looked at career ratios for performers who made more than 70 movies – Kaylynn’s total IR titles — the list shifts dramatically:
Sara Swirls
Active: 2007-2007
IR Titles: 80 out of 82 (97.561% Career IR AVG)
Krystal Jordan
Active: 2006-2009
IR Titles: 43 out of 89 (48.3146% Career IR AVG)
Austin Taylor
Active: 2008-2014
IR Titles: 46 out of 104 (44.2308% Career IR AVG)
Janet Mason
Active: 2000-2014
IR Titles: 86 out of 217 (39.6313% Career IR AVG)
Kylie G. Worthy
Active: 2005-2014
IR Titles: 46 out of 119 (38.6555% Career IR AVG)
Megan Monroe
Active: 2007-2014
IR Titles: 35 out of 92 (38.0435% Career IR AVG)
Alexa Lynn
Active: 2005-2011
IR Titles: 40 out of 106 (37.7358% Career IR AVG)
Shawnie
Active: 2003-2009
IR Titles: 26 out of 72 (36.1111% Career IR AVG)
Daryn Darby
Active: 2005-2010
IR Titles: 31 out of 87 (35.6322% Career IR AVG)
Trisha Rey
Active: 2005-2013
IR Titles: 39 out of 111 (35.1351% Career IR AVG)
Kelly Divine
Active: 2007-2014
IR Titles: 111 out of 317 (35.0158% Career IR AVG)
Lain Oi
Active: 2004-2008
IR Titles: 31 out of 89 (34.8315% Career IR AVG)
Chelsie Rae
Active: 2005-2014
IR Titles: 96 out of 283 (33.9223% Career IR AVG)
Aline
Active: 2004-2014
IR Titles: 63 out of 187 (33.6898% Career IR AVG)
Brooke Scott
Active: 2006-2013
IR Titles: 32 out of 95 (33.6842% Career IR AVG)
Andi Anderson
Active: 2007-2012
IR Titles: 45 out of 135 (33.3333% Career IR AVG)
Velicity Von
Active: 2005-2012
IR Titles: 57 out of 175 (32.5714% Career IR AVG)
Mysti May
Active: 2005-2013
IR Titles: 44 out of 138 (31.8841% Career IR AVG)
Trinity Post
Active: 2004-2014
IR Titles: 72 out of 229 (31.441% Career IR AVG)
Kirra Lynne
Active: 2008-2014
IR Titles: 40 out of 128 (31.25% Career IR AVG)
And we might as well look at the performers who are currently active:
Austin Taylor
Active: 2008-2014
IR Titles: 46 out of 104 (44.2308% Career IR AVG)
Janet Mason
Active: 2000-2014
IR Titles: 86 out of 217 (39.6313% Career IR AVG)
Kylie G. Worthy
Active: 2005-2014
IR Titles: 46 out of 119 (38.6555% Career IR AVG)
Megan Monroe
Active: 2007-2014
IR Titles: 35 out of 92 (38.0435% Career IR AVG)
Kelly Divine
Active: 2007-2014
IR Titles: 111 out of 317 (35.0158% Career IR AVG)
Chelsie Rae
Active: 2005-2014
IR Titles: 96 out of 283 (33.9223% Career IR AVG)
Aline
Active: 2004-2014
IR Titles: 63 out of 187 (33.6898% Career IR AVG)
Trinity Post
Active: 2004-2014
IR Titles: 72 out of 229 (31.441% Career IR AVG)
Kirra Lynne
Active: 2008-2014
IR Titles: 40 out of 128 (31.25% Career IR AVG)
Katie Cummings
Active: 2008-2014
IR Titles: 26 out of 85 (30.5882% Career IR AVG)
Sara Jay
Active: 2001-2014
IR Titles: 94 out of 321 (29.2835% Career IR AVG)
Kendra Secrets
Active: 2007-2014
IR Titles: 48 out of 168 (28.5714% Career IR AVG)
Emma Heart
Active: 2007-2014
IR Titles: 56 out of 202 (27.7228% Career IR AVG)
Bailey Brooks
Active: 2007-2014
IR Titles: 29 out of 106 (27.3585% Career IR AVG)
Naomi Cruise
Active: 2006-2014
IR Titles: 28 out of 103 (27.1845% Career IR AVG)
Joslyn James
Active: 2007-2014
IR Titles: 23 out of 86 (26.7442% Career IR AVG)
Katie Kox
Active: 2009-2014
IR Titles: 31 out of 116 (26.7241% Career IR AVG)
Ricki White
Active: 2006-2014
IR Titles: 46 out of 178 (25.8427% Career IR AVG)
Jacky Joy
Active: 2006-2014
IR Titles: 31 out of 120 (25.8333% Career IR AVG)
Jada Stevens
Active: 2008-2014
IR Titles: 56 out of 217 (25.8065% Career IR AVG)

2014 AVNs

I swear. It takes me longer and longer every year to report back from the AVN convention because I run out of things to write about since the smorgasbord of raunch becomes mundane. Of course the second I post the photos on Flickr,  the usual questions pop up like identifying the girls. You know because the masses need a new face to jerk off to and ironically they need a name to do so. Maybe I should be only photographing people I know or that everyone knows so that I don’t have to worry about labeling the photos.

Riley Reid
Convention photos
Valentina Nappi, Asa Akira, Alina Li, Casey Calvert, and Mark Spiegler
Awards Photos

The third year at the Hard Rock, I think security and the attendees have gotten it down pat. I didn’t really have any issues wading through crowd going where I wanted to go, knowing by intuition which doors were entrances and exits even though they were unmarked. Security was fine with the occasional flashing from the girls as long as a crowd didn’t build. I was rewarded with random boobs, bush, vaginas, and bungholes whenever I indicated that I was familiar with a girl’s work, especially from the newbies.

Britney Amber, Alexis Monroe, Missy Martinez, Veronica Rodriguez, and Lexi Belle
Out and About photos

Some random observations:

  • Riley Reid was easily the most popular girl at the convention. Her outfits, interactions with her fans, and the essays she would write for her signings led to some extremely long lines. Ron Jeremy was again the most popular guy.
  • I spent a couple of hours at a strip club with Lexi Belle, Veronica Rodriguez, Missy Martinez, and several other LA Direct girls. It wasn’t as much fun as it sounded. I’m just not a fan of the strip club environment with the sleazy patrons and their eager hustlers. Veronica and her personal crew eventually rescued me from the club.
  • Met another yearly batch of Spieglergirls including Alina Li and Valentina Nappi. They were fun…
  • I’m not sure why, but Jayden Lee ended up naked in my room. I’m not bragging. I was just in the “accept now, question later” mode.
  • I was Katie St. Ives‘s designated hand slapper. She was wearing barely any fabric. Of course, several attendees considered that an invitation to grope her while she tried to wade through the crowd. So my job was to grope her before anybody else could.
  • The Awards was easier to shoot this year. Numerous friends won. The crowd was not as drunk. Red carpet was organized. That whole week was just a well oiled machine.
  • I watched the Broncos-Patriots game briefly with Holly Michaels. She was wondering who I was rooting for. I was perplexed that she would care since she was a Cardinals fan but she did… I actually didn’t care about the two teams since I figured they were going to get their asses kicked anyway in the Super Bowl by the Niners or Hawks.

Henri Pachard and Rabbit Holes

[UPDATED 15 Dec 2013: I found the articles. They’re linked in the text now.]

pachardemailI had to search thru an old email program today for something that came up 10 years or so ago, and I stumbled upon one of four emails that Henri Pachard wrote to me back in November/December 2002.

I had written an article somewhere that I can’t find (FOUND IT!) that approved of something Pachard wrote.  At the time he was a columnist for AVN Insider and for some other outfit I can’t quite place, YES something I think — yesportal.com! thanks Rog! — and he had written an article about awards shows and the positive effects they have on a group of people who mostly suffer from low self-esteem which I thought was particularly astute (FOUND IT!), and I wrote a reply to it somewhere which found its way into his hands.  He sent this along:

Thanksgiving Day, 2002, 3:40 pm

Dear Jeff, (I hope this reaches you)

Dave Cummings forwarded me your recent post on r.a.m.e about myself and my writing. After reading your comments and descriptions about myself – more than once, I admit – and your beautiful sentiments, I printed it and took it to my wife to read it to her. 

I told her that I finally know, now, why I keep writing like I do, and asked her to listen. 

After I read your comments to her, I nodded my head to her, and she knew – for the next few seconds or so – that I would not be able to speak from fear of my voice breaking. So she waited until I could.

“This is why I do it.” I whispered, and she nodded her head to me.

Fuck, man; you touched my heart. It’s guys like you that will keep me writing as long as I’m able.

It’s guys like you that make it a privilege.

Sincerely,
Henri Pachard

Holy shit!

I wrote him back:

> On 28 Nov 2002 at 15:46, Henri Pachard wrote:

>     Fuck, man; you touched my heart. It’s guys like you that will keep
>     me writing as long as I’m able.
>     It’s guys like you that make it a privilege.

Wow.  That’s heavy, man.  I’m glad you’re out there filming people fucking and writing about it.  I’ve long been a champion of yours — you had me with DMJ2 and I’ve been with you ever since — and am glad I’ve had the opportunity to tell you.

If you’re going to be in Vegas for CES (or whatever the hell we’re calling it these days) I hope our paths cross.  I’ll be the geek in the iafd.com shirt. :-) 

At the AVN Expo in 2003, I had the great pleasure of meeting him, and we had a very nice conversation about the business, the IAFD and RAME, various fan websites, fans in general, the internet, the classics, and generally mutually admiring one another.  (Which still boggles my mind.)

So, after I found those emails, I went off in search of the original article, and couldn’t find it, but I did spend WAAY too much time browsing thru the Internet Archive’s snapshot of the AVNInsider site and Pachard’s columns.  They’re well worth a visit, and that’s really the purpose of this post — go read Pachard.  (The link takes you to his first column.)

(I’d also like to take a minute to plead with someone to make these articles available somewhere else.  AVN’s current site? eBook?  Something?)