A Sad Day in NYC: The Boob Bounce House Was Closed

Had a couple of hours to kill in NYC yesterday, so Cuddly Wombat suggested I go see the Bounce House of Boobs over at The Museum of Sex.  I had only been to the museum once before, to see a panel of the Club 90 girls discuss their time in the industry, and I didn’t get a chance to walk around it much; plus, since it’s a museum, its exhibits rotate. So I figured it’d be a good time to visit.

The bounce house got a lot of press because of its absurdity and because (let’s face it) boobs — NY Magazine wrote Adventures Inside the Big-Boob Bounce House which is how I first heard of the Funland exhibit — but there were also exhibits on The Sex Lives of Animals and The Eve of Porn: Linda Lovelace, at least one which interested me.

Street level is the gift shop which is the highest end of sex-positive toy stores – lots of vibrators and condoms and books and cum rags (only $10!).

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I wasn’t sure what kind of crowd the place would attract on a Saturday afternoon in the summer, and it was a broad cross section of people – lots of young people , some older couples, and me – a middle-aged white guy in shorts walking around solo.  Happily, I did not read the vibe as creepy, which was my concern as I was waiting to buy my ticket in line with a bunch of couples or groups.

$17.95 + tax gets you access to the museum; their website currently has a coupon (thru Sept 3, 2014) for $3 off admission if you give them your email address.

You walk up the stairs, and the second floor gallery covers the Linda Lovelace exhibit.  Say what you will about Linda, she was a pioneer in how the industry was perceived — both good and (later) bad.  The walls are covered with some very attractive nudes of her shot by Milton Greene which are simply gorgeous in their printing, matting and framing.  The back wall is covered by a video projection showing the climax (literally) of Deep Throat.  (One older couple is looking at the pictures on the wall, and a guy’s wife is hitting him, saying “Larry!  Avert your eyes! Look at the pictures!”)  The design of the space is minimalist – large white room with black hand-lettering interspersed with large typeset signs. These signs around the space give a history of Linda’s time in the industry.

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The exhibit doesn’t shy away from any parts – a series of monitors along one wall detail various episodes of her life – biographer Eric Danville’s interviews of her which led to her appearing in a series of cheesecake shots for Leg Show in January 2001; I was surprised to see Legs McNeil’s interview with Eric Edwards as an way to cover Linda’s appearance in Dog Fucker.  A wall of porno playing cards featuring Linda and husband/manager/abuser Chuck Traynor were displayed as well.


It didn’t take a long time to peruse the exhibit, but it was a good, broad overview of her career, subsequent dismissal of it, and her brief return to it; and it was well designed.

The next floor up had the other two exhibits – Funland and The Sex Lives of Animals.

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The Sex Lives of Animals is a very detailed look at how other species have relations – from asexual reproduction to the bonobo chimps trading sugar cane for sex.  There’s a LOT of text on the walls, and there are pretty cool sculptures around the space of various animals fucking each other.  (The sculpture of the bonobo monkey with his huge thin boner and two fistfuls of sugar cane is a sight to behold.)

From there – the reason for my journey – Funland, and its big bounce house of boobs.

But first, we have to pass the climbing wall, where everything you’re gripping is anatomical:

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Then through a mirror maze to find the G-Spot (kind of fun, actually) then past a little carnival midway where there’s a peep show of old carny porn and a midway game where you have to roll a ball into a hole to make your silver plated cock race:

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And then finally, tucked away in the corner is the bounce house.

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Wait, what?  The bounce house is closed??!? AAAAAAUUUUUGH!

Turns out the exhibit wasn’t quite holding up to the rigors of a full time installation, so they were deflating it to install a new one, so it was going to be out of commission until the 21st of July… but we were allowed to take some pictures inside which my phone just couldn’t process that well:

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And with that, I made my way back out of the museum and out onto Fifth Avenue where I snapped the picture everyone in the world snaps – the Flatiron Building – and headed crosstown to grab some grub to take home from Daisy May’s BBQ.  (You should really go to there if you like meat.)

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More deep throating please!

We’re big fans of the deep throat around these parts, having been indoctrinated by Little Oral Annie in the mid-80s.

I’ve got deep throat on the brain since I re-watched Little Oral Annie Takes Manhattan last night to clear up some issues in the scene breakdowns and the movie does a good job at showing off LOA’s DT skills.  Between each scene, she blows a different guy against a colored background.  She’s got some great technique where she wraps her lips around her teeth, gobbles the rod and then snakes her tongue out at the end.  Really great… and as an added bonus, no gagging!  The sex scenes in LOATM are all pretty good — lots of mid-80s staples like public hair. :-)

Fast forward to July 2011 and the practice is still with us — this time the lovely Sarah Vandella really swallows Johnny Sins all the way down to the root in her recent scene for Baby Got Boobs (part of the Brazzers network): Switchblade Slut.  (You can see her sword swallowing talents in the trailer.)  She does gag unnecessarily just a little, but I suppose that’s part of the modern porn aesthetic.  (It’s blatantly obvious she can take him all the way down to the root without effort, yet we still have to pretend for a few moments that she’s struggling.  Why? It’s a point off against an otherwise very good scene.)

The scene is a slightly awkward mix of 1950s costumes and music and attitude tainted with modern day surroundings (power windows in the modern cars).  However, Brazzers does deserve credit for their set ups and their willingness to finish the scenario even after the sex is over. Where Naughty America generally just fades out immediately after the pop, Brazzers lets their vignette end.

The sex is spirited throughout — Sarah is a good dirty talker and not afraid to ask for what she wants — and the scene ends with a nice POV BJ and pop and swallow with a final deep throat for good measure.  Oh!  The best Best BEST part?  She finishes him off!  Johnny doesn’t have to jerk it onto her waiting tongue!  Bravo Johnny!! Viva la Sarah Vandella and her mad deep throating skillz!

Images from Switchblade Slut, courtesy of  Baby Got Boobs