Tag Archives: kelly nichols

Tonight on Playboy Radio: Great Sexpectations (1984)

Tonight, we’ll be discussing Henri Pachard’s followup to Sexcapades; the continuing saga of Harry Crocker — Great Sexpectations.

We’ll be on Playboy Radio’s NightCalls on SiriusXM 102 at around 7:40 Eastern / 4:40 Pacific to talk to Debi and Nicki about this Golden Age comedy.

I found it a bit odd that a generic model who wasn’t in the movie was so prominently featured on the original movie poster, considering that you had some very big, photogenic star to choose from in Kelly Nichols… or Joanna Storm, even. VCA rectified this on their VHS and DVD releases which did feature Kelly Nichols.

So, we meet up with Harry Crocker (Eric Edwards) as he awakens from a nightmare along side Ariel (Renee Summers – she and Eric were a real life couple) and Yvonne (Joanna Storm). You may remember Yvonne as the girl who awkwardly auditioned for Harry in Sexcapades; and she has been promised the lead in Harry’s next film… as has Ariel. Awwwkwaaard!

Happily, Harry is saved by the bell — the phone rings and it’s Louis Charger, some big time movie guy that Harry seems impressed by and shocked that a guy like Louis would be calling Harry.  In the meantime, Ariel sulks off and runs a bath.    Yvonne asks her why she’s sulking, and she brings up the “promised me the lead” situation and Harry admits to them both that he lied — neither of them could get the lead in the movie because there is no movie.  No script, no nothing.  He’s down.

“Harry, you’re the best.  Some people think you’re the second best, but I think you’re the best.”

The pity party continues and the girls try to lift his spirits by fucking him in the tub.  He makes out with Yvonne while Ariel sucks him off, then Yvonne moves around to Ariel’s lady bits and plays with her.  Then she leans over Ariel’s back and starts sharing Harry’s cock.  It’s a pretty cool position, and they don’t let it overstay its welcome.  Yvonne ostensibly slides a finger up Harry’s ass (we don’t see it) while he’s fucking Ariel, and also does the reach around so she’s stroking his cock as he’s plowing into Ariel.  The scene ends with Harry’s cock sliding out of Ariel and Yvonne stroking him off through his legs until he cums on Ariel’s bush.  Such a nice diversion from today’s Viagra forced self-pumping.

As Harry’s dressing for his meeting with Louis Charger, Harry says he’ll try to get the girls jobs on the film, but they may have to settle for being fluffers.  Yvonne says she would want to be Harry’s fluffer, and he explains he’d never be in the movies he makes, “because of his ex-wife.”  I assume his ex-wife does not come up in conversation with Yvonne and Ariel since they both seem surprised to find out he’s been married.  He explains that she didn’t want him to do movies in the first place, and if he had sex on film, it would hurt her very much, so he won’t.  They seem surprised that he still cares enough about his ex-wife to govern his behviour in such a way, and he declares “I WILL NOT FUCK ON FILM.”

(It is not giving anything away if I comment “Sure you won’t, Harry…”)

We cut to Louis Charger  (R. Bolla) who is grilling Frankie, potential stud (Jerry Butler), while Charger’s wife, Gloria (Honey Wilder), looks on, filing her nails.

CHARGER: I want you to get up, drop your pants, and let’s see what you’re made of.

FRANKIE: You want me to take my pants off  here?  In front of your wife?

CHARGER: You want to be a superstud actor, right?  Well, can you fuck on film? Because everyone in my films fucks.  You need to get it up, get it in, get it on and get it off.  Got it? Ever hear of Harry Crocker?”

R. Bolla is awesome here.  All fast talking.

Honey suggests the stud fuck her.  Jerry is taken aback, but Charger says it’s business and he should not feel odd fucking his wife.  Charger says he wants to test the stud’s endurance so he gives Gloria the direction “I want you to stick your finger up his ass, and when he’s about to cum, squeeze the back!”

Jerry’s ass is saved by the bell, as Harry shows up for the meeting.  Gloria is upset by this, because she doesn’t want to perform in front of Harry.  “I won’t have Harry Crocker watch while I give this guy a blowjob! Stop trying to humiliate me!” she yells.  “Fine, take him in the other room to finish him off!”

They retreat to the bedroom and she blows him while still complaining about the nerve of her husband wanting Harry to watch.

As Harry and Charger talk about a script Charger has and the cast he has lined up (“Marilyn Camp! John Leslie!”) he can’t help but over hear Frankie and Gloria going at it in the next room.  Charger blows it off by saying “It’s business.  My wife tries out all my studs.”

(Kelly Nichols plays Marilyn Camp and John Leslie plays John Leslie. Why only one of them got to play themselves is unknown.)

Cut back to Gloria and Frankie, and he’s fucking her doggie style and Honey Wilder‘s ass is just the most glorious thing bouncing around back and forth while she explains that her husband is waiting for them to finish.

Harry lets us in that this is Charger’s first time producing a porno film with an excellent line – “You don’t have to have your wife fuck the talent so you can feel like you belong to the club.

Charger goes in to check on Gloria and Frankie.

CHARGER: “How’s he doing darling?”

GLORIA: “He’s really good, honey!”

CHARGER: “I want Harry to see this.”

GLORIA: (makes a face, then relents) “Oh, Okay…”

CHARGER: “Harry!  I want you to see this kid’s strokes.”

They have a fun little scene making pleasant introductions and shaking hands while Gloria and Frankie continue fucking.  Finally Frankie pulls out and shoots all over Gloria’s ass “just like in the movies.”

Harry is blown away by this.  This is not something any of his wives would ever go for, and he’s incredulous.

HARRY: Mr. Charger…. um… (laughs)… How… how… how can you allow  this to happen to your wife, I mean, in front of you like this?

CHARGER: Listen. You know your job and I know my job.  Right? You want to know if a person can ACT on film.  I want to know if he can FUCK.  If this kid can fuck MY WIFE while I’m standing here watching him… he can fuck on film!

Harry chuckles as he leaves and Charger stops nuzzling with his wife to yell after him, “Hey Crocker, don’t forget!  We start in three weeks!”

So, Marilyn’s bodyguards (!!!) show up (“This is a lady who knows how to work the press!” Charger boasts) followed a drum roll and then Marilyn enters. She does the kiss both cheeks and starts to lay out her demands. Charger folds like a card table and agrees to everything to keep his star happy, while Harry looks on unimpressed and put out that she is turning out as difficult as her reputation suggested.

Her first meeting with Harry is a bit sticky…

CHARGER:  Marilyn, this is Harry Crocker. Uh, Harry’s going to be working with us on the film, to keep the picture moving … uh … for you! … you know, sort of, like, …. directing… the people around you!  Typing up your script changes… right Harry?

MARILYN: So you’re Harry Crocker. I hear you’re a very demanding director.

CHARGER: Oh no no no, he’s not! He’s very nice, really.

MARILYN: I also hear he’s very good with new talent.

CHARGER: Oh yes, he’ll keep the kids from getting in your way, right Harry?

HARRY: I hear you’re a real pain in the ass, Marilyn; and that you refuse to learn your dialogue and that you require that you will only shoot your sex scenes in the afternoon. And that beneath that beautiful body of yours is a frightened child — a child trapped in the body of an adult… but I don’t believe that; I’ve seen your work.  So, I’ll tell you what.  We won’t change one fucking word in the script.

ZING!

Deidre Drumm (Carol Cross), a reporter from New Lust Magazine, calls Charger and puts him on the spot.

DRUMM: Sitting in front of my desk, I have a Mrs. Exeter and her daughter Frances…

CHARGER: Her daughter?

DRUMM: Yes. Is it true you’re auditioning mrs. execters daughter for a role in your new X-Rated film?

CHARGER: Why do you ask?

DRUMM: Because if it is true, it’s news for the x-rated industry and can be publicity for your new film.

CHARGER: Publicity! Oh! Of course!

So, Mrs. Exeter (Chelsea Blake) is the worst kind of stage mom, selling out her daughter Frances (the yummy Tanya Lawson) who doesn’t seem all that interested in doing dirty movies, but she’s even less interested in disappointing Mom.  Harry enters Drumm’s office and Mrs. Exeter immediately starts pimping her daughter.  (“See how we trimmed her pubic hairs?  Isn’t that cute?”)  Harry explains the need for explicit sex to be in his movie and drops the name “Chuck Weston” which makes Harry uncomfortable. (I’m assuming the name is an in-joke on Anthony Spinelli aka Sam Weston who was often mentioned in the same breath as Pachard while discussing “important directors of the 80s”)

Cut to Mrs. Exeter selling Mrs. Charger on the idea of Frances being in the movie. Smash cut to Frances panty-clad ass in the air while she blows Mr. Charger.  She doesn’t seem particularly experienced, only putting the head in her mouth.  Charger asks if she’d be interested in coming up on the bed to lie down while she sucks him off, giving him an opportunity to “finger her pussy a little; would you like that?  Would you like to find out if you’d like that? Wouldn’t you like to make your mother very proud?”  They fuck, and the scene ends with him cumming in her mouth.  As she cleans him up, he grins “You are definitely going to have a part in my movie… but I think you should think about doing anal.’

Harry’s speaking with Mrs. Exeter and she is discussing her daughter’s “star power.”  Harry gets to the point and asks “I didn’t ask you about her star potential, I asked you if she enjoys what she’s doing? Before she can answer, Charger busts in and pulls Mrs. Exeter away to offer her daughter the part, provided she consider doing some anal.

We’re back on set and George Payne is reprising his role as porn stud Alex, and he’s fucking Yvonne who is dressed as a nurse.  Harry’s directing, the crew are wearing Sexcapades T-Shirts, and Joanna Storm is mugging up a storm.  While their scene is going on, Mrs. Charger (dressed in black) takes Frances (dressed in white) out to the boiler room and they start going at it, while standing.  Alex and Yvonne stay in the missionary position the whole time and their scene ends with a cumshot to the chest with some post-cum head to clean up.

Harry downs a few shots of vodka then approaches Marilyn, puts his hand on her breast and says she should come over his house later so he can “inspect her underwear” and if they run out of food, they could always “eat each other.”  Silver Star looks on before taking her place on some futuristic set, sucking Dick Howard’s cock while some Star Trek-ish theremin music plays on the soundtrack.

We hear Pachard’s voice on the soundtrack yelling “More fog!  More fog!”

Dick and Silver flip over into doggie and she shows off her nice little handfuls and Dick pulls out and cums on her ass as the music on the soundtrack spins down.  The crew looks for Harry to see if everything’s OK, but he’s in the bathroom having drops put in his eyes by Yvonne.  Harry returns to set and Charger says that he’s going to give Frances the part, but Harry protests saying it’s an anal scene; the scene ends with Mrs. Exeter yelling “My daughter is going to be a very big star!

(The thought that an anal scene is being treated as some sort of dramatic plot device in Harry’s movie is amusing.)

Cut to Harry’s apartment and Drumm is sucking him off, but he’s not really into it until she suggests he cum in her mouth.  Harry asks her to grab more vodka.  This whole “Frances Does Anal” situation is not sitting well with him, and he’s drinking quite a bit now.  He directs Drumm’s cocksucking with lots of dirty talking.  After some doggie style fucking, he pulls out and jerks off over her tits.

“John Leslie is a big drill,” one of the PAs says, before going on to explain a drill is a “box office draw”.  Harry mentions his films are big box office, does that make him a drill?  The PA says “Only if you fuck on film, Harry.” Since that’s not going to happen, he has only one reply: “Oh, forget it.”

John Leslie, clad in tan scarf and sweater, sheepishly comes over and introduces himself to Harry.  It’s a funny bit of dialogue.

JL: Hi, John Leslie. You Harry Crocker?

HC: Yes.

JL: Nice to meet you.  I heard a lot about your films.  I hear they’re very good.

HC: Thanks, John.  It’s nice to see you again, John. Have you seen any of my pictures?

JL: No, no.  I hardly have time to see my own.  No offense.

HC: I’ve seen a couple of yours…  the ones that Chuck Weston did.

JL: Oh yeah, you know, he’s the best.

HC: That right?

John saunters over to see Marilyn and they have a real nice reunion, lots of warmth and old jokes between them.  Marilyn walks over to Harry and says that she’s going to do it her way, “sexual improvisation.”  They argue about Harry’s domain over the movie, and she storms off saying that “we’re the ones fucking our brains out in front of the camera.”

This is an ongoing motif, the notion that those who don’t fuck on screen are less than those that do.

They roll into the scene and Marilyn and John talk a lot during their scene.  A lot of this is more porno for the mind than the groin.  She rubs his cock thru his pants, and he shoves his fingers into her mouth, telling her to suck on them.  SO much talking.  Which means interaction.  Not robo-fucking.  That lines like “You make me feel so beautiful” can be followed by “Bury your fingers in my cunt” and not feel out of place is a testament to how good Leslie and Nichols are (and Pachard, by extension, since he allows his atmosphere to be fostered.)  He mounts her, he pulls out and jerks off on her chin.

Harry gives the scene a slow clap (!!!) and the crew joins in.

Afterwards, Harry is walking Marilyn out to her car and she asks him how it felt to give up control.  He says how does she know he gave anything up? He then asks her back to his apartment for dinner if she’s hungry.  “I just fucked my brains out in front of the camera, and you ask me if  I’m hungry?”

At the apartment, Harry mentions that Charger wants her to do one more sex scene, but he doesn’t want her to:

HARRY: I don’t want to direct you anymore in a sex scene – or rather I should  say “witness” sex scene, since you want to direct yourself.

MARILYN: What’s wrong, Harry.  Insecure when you can’t direct?

HARRY: No, it’s not that it.  It’s because I love you.

MARILYN: What, Harry?

HARRY: I’m falling in love with you, I can’t help it; and I don’t want to be on the set while you’re fucking other guys.

MARILYN: I’ll be damned.  Harry Crocker!  You been drinking Harry? (She pours more wine)  How can you love me?  I’m a porn star?

HARRY: What makes you think that you can’t be loved? I just told you I loved you, and I haven’t even gotten into your pants yet.  I haven’t even kissed you yet.

MARILYN: Want a kiss Harry?  Want your cock sucked Harry? Better yet, you want me to suck your asshole while another girl sucks your cock?  Or better yet, you want to fuck me in the ass?  Do you still love me?!! Cum on my tits?!

Saved by the doorbell.

Mrs. Exeter shows up, but Marilyn is on a tear.  She’s pissed.  Pissed at Harry and she’s going to take it out on the deplorable Mrs. Exeter.

“It’s about your daughter, right?  Come in Evelyn!” yells Marilyn.  “How are you going to do it Mrs. Exeter?  Fuck him? Suck him?  Relax, we’re all porno people here.  You really want your daughter fucked in the ass, Mrs. Exeter?”

EXETER: My daughter will be a star!

MARILYN: Have YOU ever been fucked in the ass, Mrs. Exeter?  Have YOU ever eaten pussy, Mrs. Exeter?

EXETER: I wans’t born yesterday.  I have had some experiences.

MARILYN: Get undressed Mrs. Exeter.  Don’t be shy.  Watch her, Harry.

And the humiliation begins.  Marilyn begins to undress.

EXETER: You want me to go down on you.

MARILYN: I want you to go down on Harry.  Suck his cock.  then I’ll have you suck my pussy.  It’s a wonderful industry, isn’t it?

It is so clear that maybe it is not.

MARILYN: SUCK HIS COCK. Oh, Harry look!  She’s playing with her pussy!  She likes it!

The scene continues with Harry powerfully thrusting into Mrs. Exeter while Marilyn jills herself.

MARILYN: She loves humilation, don’t you, Mrs. Exeter!

Marilyn makes Harry fuck Mrs. Exeter from behind while she gets her pussy eaten, berating Mrs. Exeter the whole time.  She makes Harry fuck Mrs. Exeter’s ass, and Harry looks right into Marilyn’s eyes as he does.  It’s pretty intense stuff.  He pulls out and cums on her ass as Marilyn pushes Mrs. Exeter away.

How could you know about me?

You want your daughter to be some super porno star, like me.

Did you cum when I licked your cunt?

Not really.  It’s not my scene.

She pours Harry and Mrs. Exeter some vodka as they all sit around, not looking at each other, panting.  Harry hands his glass to Mrs. Exeter and she downs it in one gulp.  He grabs his pants and looks at himself in the mirror, then at the vodka bottle in his hand, then the walks to the sink, empties the bottle into it and pulls on his pants as the surveys the wreckage of the women in his living room.  He states to Marilyn, “I am not directing you in any more sex scenes.”

Harry bounds back onto the set saying they’re “going to shoot film like crap thru a goose.”

Harry runs into meets with Charger who promises Frances will deliver the hottest ass-fucking scene he’s ever filmed.  “Wrong.  I’m not going to use her. ” He walks over to Frances and asks if she wants to do it.  She answers, simply, “no.”  Harry says “there you go..”  Charger is astonished Harry would embarrass the girl in front of her mother like that, to which Harry replies “She’ll have to get used to getting it up front, right?”

Mrs. Exeter comes over and tells Harry, “In spite of your business, Harry; and in spite of what you think of yourself deep down, you’re really a good man.  And in the same light, no matter what I appear to be, I’m not really a bad woman. Thank you, for protecting my daughter.”

After Harry puts the kibosh on using Marilyn in Frances’ place, Charger yells “Harry!  Rewrite the scene!  What do you think this is, art?!”

John Leslie comes up dressed as a Sheik and Harry looks at him and says “I have a problem,  and there’s only one way to solve it.”

Cut to Yvonne fluffing the Sheik’s cock (literally a 15 second scene), and we pan up to reveal the Sheik is (spoiler alert!) Harry.

Harry walks onto set to the applause of the crew.  He announces:

HARRY: Standby to roll sound… OK, let’s start off with the usual, 69 and some head…

MARILYN: Harry, relax.  Stop directing, OK?

HARRY: I love you.

MARILYN: You don’t have to fuck me in public to prove it.

HARRY: Yes I do.

MARILYN: I suppose you’re going to suck my pussy with all these people watching?

HARRY: Who’s directing this?  You or me?

She kisses him.

MARILYN: I hear you’re the best… or the second best director in the business.

HARRY: You’re right.  It’s only a movie.  Roll the sound!

They kiss some more.

MARILYN: Harry… say action.

HARRY: Ah. Action!

He removes the turban and glasses, a typical 80s romantic movie music theme plays and they perform a bit of foreplay on each other before a single-position missionary fuck.  She jerks him off all over her tits.

“And cut.”

In the end, this is a movie about being out of love – out of love with your job, out of love with the dissolution of your marriage – and finding a new connection and a way to get back into love. It’s a pretty brave subject for porn, and while it may require a slightly forgiving eye in these modern days, a lot of 80s cinema does. It’s tough to watch some of the Chevy Chase / Goldie Hawn movies from that era without feeling that they, too, were so much a product of their times.

There’s not a lot of self-reflection in modern porn — maybe not in modern society, so these “grown up” movies feel like something for people a little older than the Barely Legal folk on both sides of the gender aisle that so much of today’s porn seems aimed at. (Am I turning into an old man with my railing on things modern?)

Back on the radio show, we talked about some of the supporting players in the movie, Dick Howard (good utility guy) and Silver Starr (bit player, very short career).  We also touched on our oldest movie in the database, which is a 14 minute loop from 1951 called “Smart Alec” starring Candy Barr.

Thanks for all your support these past weeks, and I look forward to continuing. Please use our comments section to let us know what you think, or offer us some suggestions for upcoming segments.

[UPDATE: 04-10-13: Dick Howard is better known as Jeremy Stone/Tim Connelly, publisher of Adam Film World and ex-husband of Christy Canyon.]