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Today on Spice Radio: Campus Cuties (1985)

Campus Cuties DVD CoverToday on Spice Radio’s YouPorn (XM103, 2:40 pm Eastern), I’ll be talking with Christy Canyon and Ginger Lynn about Paul G. Vatelli‘s 1985 video, Campus Cuties.

The movie starts with Nikki Charm writing her parents a letter, and we hear her voiceover dripping with slapback echo about how well she’s doing in school and how she’s meeting so many new people.  It seems like she’s leaving the country and leaving for the big city as she and her  boyfriend Kevin James are talking in a stable.  (The soundtrack still has the slapback echo applied, so the whole thing sounds like an old Elvis record.)  But she explains that there’s so much she wants to learn so she has to go away, but Kevin is threatened and scared about her finding a new way of life (i.e. cock).  He’s sad about it. He helps pack her into the car, says a tearful goodbye, and she leaves for school.  (There’s a lick in the music that sounds exactly like Handbags and Gladrags, the closing theme to Ricky Gervais’ version of The Office.)

She gets to campus and is waiting, according to a sign, for the principal (tho shouldn’t it be the dean — oh, her voiceover calls him the Dean) — and this excites her but not as much as Kevin’s cock does when it slips inside her (she tells us) so we cut to just that.

Back in the stable, Nikki’s lying naked on top of Kevin and they’re making out and she slowly moves her tits up his mouth as she sits up and absent mindedly starts stroking his cock.  She stands and lets him eat her out for a bit.  It’s an awkward position and it doesn’t seem to lend itself either to decent photography or decent cunnilingus. So she lays down and throws her legs over his shoulders so he can dig in.  The echo on the vocal track is still a bit distracting, but she moves down to blowing him, so we can focus on that instead.  Kevin’s dick is impressive; Nikki is pretty diminutive, so it seems his manhood might be bigger than her head.  She jerks it daintily (pinky sticking out, like a proper lady) and then she jumps on it, riding him.  She turns and rides him reverse cowgirl which he seems to like as he equates with “being like the rodeo!”

We cut back and forth between medium shots of her face and medium shots of the penetration.  More full body shots would be nice.  Nikki has a kickin little bod and it should be shown off.  Happily, when we move to the spoon position, we get some full body shots, and shots of her nicely trimmed bush taking Kevin to the hilt are pretty effective.  Finally, she turns around  and jerks him off onto his belly.

Reverie over, she is snapped back into reality by Tracey Adams who brings her to see the Dean, Jesse Eastern.  “Anytime you have a problem, or want to fuck. . .er, want to talk, my door is always open. . .” and Nikki leaves and meets Catty (Summer Rose) who clues Nikki in to Tracey and Jesse’s affair, then tells her cocktails are at 7.

Back to the Dean’s office and Tracey wastes no time in gobbling some knob and finishes him off with a handy.  Both stay clothed thru their encounter, with only his pants around his knees.  There is no post-cum head, tho Tracey does study his cock a bit.

Nikki meets her roommate Mauvais DeNoir.  Nikki mentions that Catty showed her around, and we cut to Taija Rae in a one-piece lingerie on top of Rick Savage.  Then, we see  Tom Byron and Shone Taylor watching the Rick/Taija pairing on some video equipment.  Taija keeps her leotard on and moves into a 69 position, so Rick has to pull the crotch aside to return the favors, and once they move into doggie style, she has the leotard pulled down to her stomach and over her legs so it’s not in the way, but Rick can use it like a handle.  Rick looks over his shoulder, right into the camera, and gives it the high sign.  Back with Tom and Shone and they’re laughing saying the Lone Ranger theme should be playing.  Rick flipped Taija over and came all over her box (tho the leotard is back around her right leg, i.e. in the way.)  Rick comes into the control room and steals a beer and gloats about how well they got their room outfitted with cameras.

Nikki and Mauvais go see Taija and Summer to have some drinky-poos and smoke a little pot.  The boys (Tom, Shone and Rick) then show up and bring beer and sexual advances.

Taija hooks up with Tom and Rick hooks up with Summer, leaving Nikki to fight off Shone‘s advances.  She’s just not that into him.  He kisses on her, but she’s resistant. (And through it all, Mauvais sleeps…)

Tom eats Taija as Summer blows Rick.  Taija’s rocking the tan lines in pretty hard as she grabs beer off of Shone.  Shone takes his shirt off and flexes and grabs Nikki’s left tit a bunch of times, but she’s not into it and shoots him down… but then they’re making out more on the bed, so she’s becoming quite a little cocktease at school.

Summer and Rick move into a 69 as Tom climbs on the other bed, allowing Taija easier access to blow him and then with no transition, he’s banging her doggie style, and Shone is taken on the bed trying to coax Nikki’s hand down to his junk, but she wants to part of it.  Rick, meanwhile, is working her finger in Summer’s ass and then takes her doggie style as well.  The attempted rape of Nikki continues in a wide shot as the other two couples are banging.  Rick keep a finger in Summer’s ass as much as he can.  Finally, Tommy flips her over and she jerks him off onto her tits.  Nikki seems to like to watch, and Rick, we’re led to believe, cums inside Summer, tho we see no evidence of that.

Later, in the afterglow, someone knocks on the door, they all jump under the covers and Taija opens the door, revealing the Dean, making sure there was no pot smoking, drinking or uninvited guests.  That is one hands-on administrator!

Next we see Nikki in class as Buck Adams lectures on “Anglo-saxon narrative” as delivered to us by “the great “Beowulf.”  (The classroom is full of people, so bravo production team for getting your crew and friends in the show!) and then he releases the class.  Mauvais stays behind at his request, and he offers her a position.  WTF is with this script?  A position?!  No matter, he has her spread across her desk as soon as she mentions having read Beowulf.

He eats her out, and she’s got a pretty great rack, but since we’re in closeup, we don’t get to see it enough, as her nipples are trying to poke into the frame, but are contstantly thwarted.  Buck jackhammers her then takes her doggie style on the desk and cums on her ass and back.

A new day and Nikki is upset that she got a Dear Nikki letter.  Summer comes over, asks what is wrong and decides that what she needs is some sweet, sweet loving.  Cue the gentle acoustic guitars and sweet kisses and easily probing hands.  Nikki takes to pussy eating like a fish to water, and the girls kiss a lot with swirly tongues.

Nikki is back in the Dean’s office and he’s very impressed with her progress.  he likes to “give congratulations where congratulations are due” and in this case, congratulations means his cock and they’re due in her mouth.

Uh-oh! What’s this?!  The boys have the Dean’s office wired for camera as well?

The Dean suggests Nikki can get Phi Beta Kappa or Cum Laude status by simply letting him congratulate her.  She takes her shirt and bra off and plays with her nipples as the Dean makes mouth love to his glasses, or at least chews on them a little.  She then strips her jeans off and unhooks her stocking from their garters and rolls them down her leg.  Meanwhile, blue-balled Shone is in the next room getting all sorts of excited.  Nikki  puts herself on his desk and the Dean starts in on her tits.  They fuck and the boys watch on while drinking their beers and Rick makes a joke that the “Dean sure is cumming loud!”  And once the Dean does cum on her ass, he says “We sure came loud!”  Same joke!?

Finally, we see he senior bash is happening and underclassmen are welcome.  The Boys are striking out, and Rick leaves to see a lady friend, but Tom and Shone take Tracey back into a store room, ply her with champagne and she confesses to the fact that the Dean makes her suck his cock.  Tom doesn’t think that sounds so bad, so he asks her to suck his cock, and she does, and Shone fucks her from behind.  they stay in these positions until she jerks Tom off in her hand and Shone comes on her ass.

Finally, Nikki is writing another letter home, bragging of meeting a nice boy she might bring home after the semester is over (who would that be?) and saying how much she loves her time as State College.

Credits.

Well, parts of the story were incomprehensible.  What was the relationship between Buck Adams and Mauvais, anyway?

Paul Vatelli made a bunch of really great movies – I Like to Watch and Stiff Competition, chief among them – but this wasn’t really up to those standards.  Since he died in 1986 from complications arising from AIDS, it’s very possible he was sick at this point in his life and just going through the motions.

All that being said, this is a pretty good cast and a completely typical sexual effort.  Not horrible by any measure, but it never really scaled any heights either.  A solid 2.25 out of 4.

Best scenes are the Nikki/Kevin pairing at the beginning and the Tom/Taija and  Rick/Summer couplings.