Tag Archives: paul vatelli

Today on Spice Radio: Campus Cuties (1985)

Campus Cuties DVD CoverToday on Spice Radio’s YouPorn (XM103, 2:40 pm Eastern), I’ll be talking with Christy Canyon and Ginger Lynn about Paul G. Vatelli‘s 1985 video, Campus Cuties.

The movie starts with Nikki Charm writing her parents a letter, and we hear her voiceover dripping with slapback echo about how well she’s doing in school and how she’s meeting so many new people.  It seems like she’s leaving the country and leaving for the big city as she and her  boyfriend Kevin James are talking in a stable.  (The soundtrack still has the slapback echo applied, so the whole thing sounds like an old Elvis record.)  But she explains that there’s so much she wants to learn so she has to go away, but Kevin is threatened and scared about her finding a new way of life (i.e. cock).  He’s sad about it. He helps pack her into the car, says a tearful goodbye, and she leaves for school.  (There’s a lick in the music that sounds exactly like Handbags and Gladrags, the closing theme to Ricky Gervais’ version of The Office.)

She gets to campus and is waiting, according to a sign, for the principal (tho shouldn’t it be the dean — oh, her voiceover calls him the Dean) — and this excites her but not as much as Kevin’s cock does when it slips inside her (she tells us) so we cut to just that.

Back in the stable, Nikki’s lying naked on top of Kevin and they’re making out and she slowly moves her tits up his mouth as she sits up and absent mindedly starts stroking his cock.  She stands and lets him eat her out for a bit.  It’s an awkward position and it doesn’t seem to lend itself either to decent photography or decent cunnilingus. So she lays down and throws her legs over his shoulders so he can dig in.  The echo on the vocal track is still a bit distracting, but she moves down to blowing him, so we can focus on that instead.  Kevin’s dick is impressive; Nikki is pretty diminutive, so it seems his manhood might be bigger than her head.  She jerks it daintily (pinky sticking out, like a proper lady) and then she jumps on it, riding him.  She turns and rides him reverse cowgirl which he seems to like as he equates with “being like the rodeo!”

We cut back and forth between medium shots of her face and medium shots of the penetration.  More full body shots would be nice.  Nikki has a kickin little bod and it should be shown off.  Happily, when we move to the spoon position, we get some full body shots, and shots of her nicely trimmed bush taking Kevin to the hilt are pretty effective.  Finally, she turns around  and jerks him off onto his belly.

Reverie over, she is snapped back into reality by Tracey Adams who brings her to see the Dean, Jesse Eastern.  “Anytime you have a problem, or want to fuck. . .er, want to talk, my door is always open. . .” and Nikki leaves and meets Catty (Summer Rose) who clues Nikki in to Tracey and Jesse’s affair, then tells her cocktails are at 7.

Back to the Dean’s office and Tracey wastes no time in gobbling some knob and finishes him off with a handy.  Both stay clothed thru their encounter, with only his pants around his knees.  There is no post-cum head, tho Tracey does study his cock a bit.

Nikki meets her roommate Mauvais DeNoir.  Nikki mentions that Catty showed her around, and we cut to Taija Rae in a one-piece lingerie on top of Rick Savage.  Then, we see  Tom Byron and Shone Taylor watching the Rick/Taija pairing on some video equipment.  Taija keeps her leotard on and moves into a 69 position, so Rick has to pull the crotch aside to return the favors, and once they move into doggie style, she has the leotard pulled down to her stomach and over her legs so it’s not in the way, but Rick can use it like a handle.  Rick looks over his shoulder, right into the camera, and gives it the high sign.  Back with Tom and Shone and they’re laughing saying the Lone Ranger theme should be playing.  Rick flipped Taija over and came all over her box (tho the leotard is back around her right leg, i.e. in the way.)  Rick comes into the control room and steals a beer and gloats about how well they got their room outfitted with cameras.

Nikki and Mauvais go see Taija and Summer to have some drinky-poos and smoke a little pot.  The boys (Tom, Shone and Rick) then show up and bring beer and sexual advances.

Taija hooks up with Tom and Rick hooks up with Summer, leaving Nikki to fight off Shone‘s advances.  She’s just not that into him.  He kisses on her, but she’s resistant. (And through it all, Mauvais sleeps…)

Tom eats Taija as Summer blows Rick.  Taija’s rocking the tan lines in pretty hard as she grabs beer off of Shone.  Shone takes his shirt off and flexes and grabs Nikki’s left tit a bunch of times, but she’s not into it and shoots him down… but then they’re making out more on the bed, so she’s becoming quite a little cocktease at school.

Summer and Rick move into a 69 as Tom climbs on the other bed, allowing Taija easier access to blow him and then with no transition, he’s banging her doggie style, and Shone is taken on the bed trying to coax Nikki’s hand down to his junk, but she wants to part of it.  Rick, meanwhile, is working her finger in Summer’s ass and then takes her doggie style as well.  The attempted rape of Nikki continues in a wide shot as the other two couples are banging.  Rick keep a finger in Summer’s ass as much as he can.  Finally, Tommy flips her over and she jerks him off onto her tits.  Nikki seems to like to watch, and Rick, we’re led to believe, cums inside Summer, tho we see no evidence of that.

Later, in the afterglow, someone knocks on the door, they all jump under the covers and Taija opens the door, revealing the Dean, making sure there was no pot smoking, drinking or uninvited guests.  That is one hands-on administrator!

Next we see Nikki in class as Buck Adams lectures on “Anglo-saxon narrative” as delivered to us by “the great “Beowulf.”  (The classroom is full of people, so bravo production team for getting your crew and friends in the show!) and then he releases the class.  Mauvais stays behind at his request, and he offers her a position.  WTF is with this script?  A position?!  No matter, he has her spread across her desk as soon as she mentions having read Beowulf.

He eats her out, and she’s got a pretty great rack, but since we’re in closeup, we don’t get to see it enough, as her nipples are trying to poke into the frame, but are contstantly thwarted.  Buck jackhammers her then takes her doggie style on the desk and cums on her ass and back.

A new day and Nikki is upset that she got a Dear Nikki letter.  Summer comes over, asks what is wrong and decides that what she needs is some sweet, sweet loving.  Cue the gentle acoustic guitars and sweet kisses and easily probing hands.  Nikki takes to pussy eating like a fish to water, and the girls kiss a lot with swirly tongues.

Nikki is back in the Dean’s office and he’s very impressed with her progress.  he likes to “give congratulations where congratulations are due” and in this case, congratulations means his cock and they’re due in her mouth.

Uh-oh! What’s this?!  The boys have the Dean’s office wired for camera as well?

The Dean suggests Nikki can get Phi Beta Kappa or Cum Laude status by simply letting him congratulate her.  She takes her shirt and bra off and plays with her nipples as the Dean makes mouth love to his glasses, or at least chews on them a little.  She then strips her jeans off and unhooks her stocking from their garters and rolls them down her leg.  Meanwhile, blue-balled Shone is in the next room getting all sorts of excited.  Nikki  puts herself on his desk and the Dean starts in on her tits.  They fuck and the boys watch on while drinking their beers and Rick makes a joke that the “Dean sure is cumming loud!”  And once the Dean does cum on her ass, he says “We sure came loud!”  Same joke!?

Finally, we see he senior bash is happening and underclassmen are welcome.  The Boys are striking out, and Rick leaves to see a lady friend, but Tom and Shone take Tracey back into a store room, ply her with champagne and she confesses to the fact that the Dean makes her suck his cock.  Tom doesn’t think that sounds so bad, so he asks her to suck his cock, and she does, and Shone fucks her from behind.  they stay in these positions until she jerks Tom off in her hand and Shone comes on her ass.

Finally, Nikki is writing another letter home, bragging of meeting a nice boy she might bring home after the semester is over (who would that be?) and saying how much she loves her time as State College.

Credits.

Well, parts of the story were incomprehensible.  What was the relationship between Buck Adams and Mauvais, anyway?

Paul Vatelli made a bunch of really great movies – I Like to Watch and Stiff Competition, chief among them – but this wasn’t really up to those standards.  Since he died in 1986 from complications arising from AIDS, it’s very possible he was sick at this point in his life and just going through the motions.

All that being said, this is a pretty good cast and a completely typical sexual effort.  Not horrible by any measure, but it never really scaled any heights either.  A solid 2.25 out of 4.

Best scenes are the Nikki/Kevin pairing at the beginning and the Tom/Taija and  Rick/Summer couplings.

Today on Spice Radio: I Like to Watch (1982)

So, today (27 June 2012) kicks off our new classic movie review segment on YouPorn on Spice Radio, SiriusXM 103.  We’re scheduled to go on at 11:40 AM Pacific / 2:40 PM Eastern with Christy Canyon and Ginger Lynn. To kick things off, I figured we’d talk about I Like To WatchPaul G. Vatelli‘s 1982 classic, since, well… we like to watch.

The plot of the movie is centered around a famous lingerie designer, Leticia, played by Pat Manning.  She’s getting ready for a fashion show, to be headlined by Linda (Lisa De Leeuw), a  famous model.  Helping Leticia her get ready are niece Laura (Bridgette Monet, in her debut) and her assistant Kim (Little Oral Annie). Along the way, we meet a bunch of models, Laura’s boyfriend Michael (Mike Horner, credited here as Don Hart) and some comic relief by way of the staff.

The movie opens with Laura peeping in as her Aunt Leticia is getting nailed by boytoy Phillip (Hershel Savage).  It’s a pretty standard “fucking on bed” scene, but has some nice reverse cowgirl in it and ends with a pretty good pop shot as Leticia jerks Phillip off so he explodes onto her face and hair. This leaves Laura pretty turned on with nothing to do about it.

Some plot happens as we get properly introduced to Laura, the housekeeper Gretchen (Anna Pierce), Kim and Linda.  As Laura is doing a fitting for Linda, she comments that the lace is a bit conflicted with the rest of her underthings, so Linda suggests she just drop the panties right there, laying the groundwork for some future fun…

But first, Kim has to help Mark, the plumber (Kevin James), fix the furnace… so off they go to the boiler room and then to a bypass valve in one of the fitting rooms where Kim jumps all over the Plumber, swallowing his cock with ease.  This is one of my favorite Little Oral Annie scenes, as she looks fantastic — there’s something about the bra she wears here that really shows off her swinging boobs and gives them a little shape — and she really gets to show off her sword swallowing.  There’s a shot from underneath of her taking Kevin’s James down to the root and pulling back, leaving strings of spit like spaghetti, which she then sucks back in — just awesome.

Gretchen, the housekeeper, was dispatched by Leticia to find Kim since they need to stay productive as deadlines are looming, and she spies Kim swallowing Mark , which turns her on greatly, so she takes a brief siesta and touches herself (over her clothes) while the two go at it.

Since Annie was also a bit of an analist, we have to cover that base, so she looks over at Mark and matter of factly says “I want you to fuck my ass now” and then they go at it, with some nice shots of him getting balls deep in her ass; this all finishes with a blowjob ending, with Kim jerking Mark off into her mouth… and Gretchen making a noise, revealing herself outside the door (which is one of the great “D’oh! We’re caught!” moments in porn, with Annie stopping mid-jerk to see who’s there…)

Laura and her boyfriend, Michael, head out to the park for a heart-to-heart — “Why aren’t you fucking me, Michael?” she asks, and he says he’s been trying to be a gentleman about things.  He offers to pick her up at 8 and she storms off with a “Not tonight!”  Leticia checks on her niece who doesn’t really want to talk about it.

Kim is reading a book as Gretchen is tending to the fire.  Kim calls Gretchen on her peeping, saying she’s not angry, that “it can be better with a woman” and she leans in for a kiss.

Meanwhile in the other room, Laura grabs the panties that Linda dropped during her fitting and holds them to her face and inhales deeply.  She rubs them all over herself.  She pulls a breast out of her dress and plays with her nipple.  Bridgette has REALLY GREAT TITS. She fantasizes about her Aunt’s tryst with Herschel Savage as she hikes her skirt up and starts to rub the panties on her lady bits… and then her phone rings.  It’s Linda, calling to see if Laura wants to come over for drinks.

Pan over as she hangs up to reveal Montag (Dave Cannon — Bridgette’s real life SO) sitting in a robe.  Linda leans down to him and teases “We’re going to give you such a show…”

On her way out, Laura sees Kim and Gretchen getting it on in front of the roaring fire.  (And they say porn is cliche’d!)  Kim sucks on Gretchen’s nipples a bit (nice!) before moving down for some rug munching.  Gretchen seems to be enjoying herself, cupping her ample breasts while Kim dines out.  Next, she’s being taken doggie style by Kim who is wearing a strap-on.  The scene kind of ends as Laura heads over to Linda’s; but not before getting stopped by Michael who vows to “wait here all night for you!” as she blows by him.

There’s a fireplace at Linda’s too, and Linda puts Laura in front of it.  They have a drink and Linda puts the moves on her, leaning in for a kiss that Laura doesn’t fight. The two girls kiss and as the camera moves in, we dissolve to them in their lingerie, kissing and falling back on the couch.  We see a camera mounted overhead, and Montag is watching the sapphic loving on a TV.  Linda pulls Laura’s panties off to the side and starts eating her out and Montag sits and smokes.  Laura flips Linda over and returns the muff diving favor, bringing Linda to orgasm as she grinds Laura’s face into her pelvis, and then pulls her up for a kiss.  Linda asks if is Laura trusts her and reveals that they’ve been watched the whole time and Linda brings Montag down to have his way with Laura as she looks on.

He starts by kissing her and them moving down to eat her out as Linda narrates a bit.  Bridgette is in the same type of bra that Annie was in when she was fucking Kevin — it’s a satiny sheer number and really looks nice.  Linda and Laura exchange looks with Bridgette looking right into the camera.

FILM GEEK ASIDE: I can’t help but think Vatelli tipped his hat to Bergman in one shot of Lisa De Leeuw, which had to be an homage to Liv Ullman in Persona.

He spends some time kissing on her breasts and nipples and then he brings himself forward to drop his cock in her mouth.  Linda keeps playing with herself and watching.  There’s some good high camera angles over Bridgette/Dave as she sucks him to full erectness and whispers “Make love to me, Montag!”  He kisses her as he slips his cock inside her side-saddle, which just intensifies Linda’s enjoyment of the coupling.  He swings into missionary, and there’s a lot of kissing going on as he’s pumping away.  As Linda brings herself to another shuddering orgasm, Laura jerks Montag off onto her belly.  “See, Montag? I like to watch, too!” Linda pants out between orgasmic spasms.

Michael sees two models, Cinnamon (Linda Shaw) and Honey (Elaine DeSantis) approach Leticia’s house.  Ever the gentleman, he rings the door bell and Gretchen comes to let them in.  Michael makes the introductions and Gretchen shows the girls to their room as he waits for Laura to come back.  The girls hatch a plot to get lucky and make some noise to draw Michael down a dark hallway and into an area filled with mannequins.  The girls pose as mannequins and them jump out and grab his junk, he complains it’s not his day and suddenly Cinnamon is sucking him off as Honey is french kissing him.  They swap spots as Michael  makes out with Cinnamon’s tits as Honey sucks him off. The mannequins like to watch too.

Honey moves into a 69 position as Cinnamon joins her down at Michael’s dick and they suck him and make out with one another as he buries his tongue all up in Honey’s honeypot.  Cinnamon mounts him and Honey sucks her tits as she’s riding Michael’s face. Leticia comes home, sees them fucking and goes upstairs to bed.  Now Honey’s getting it doggie style as Cinnamon lays (lies?) under her; and then they both suck him off and he baptizes them in a fountain of cum.

Next up: A MONTAGE!  Sewing machines working overtime getting ready for the big runway show; mannequins being fitted with lingerie, and then we’re at a TV studio, getting ready for the show.  A house mother (Beatrice Bowan) yells at a model named Gloria (Mary Evans) for not wanting to wear her assigned lingerie.

Two stagehands, mustachio’d Fred (John Ogden) and balding Harry (Lou Vincent) peep into the girls’ dressing room.  Fred is drooling over the girls: “I’d walk through five miles of a minefield in snowshoes just to hear her fart over a field phone.” (Really has to be heard to be believed) and Harry bets him $50 he won’t just walk in there.  The janitor (Dirty Ed Lachmann) drops off a laundry cart that Fred jumps into and then pops out of to bite Gloria on the butt.

Back in the control room, Michael bursts in and demands that Laura see him after the show in the studio.  She seems taken aback by his forcefulness and agrees.  Leticia makes another date with Phil and he wants to take it onto the next level.

Once the show is over, Laura finds her way into the empty studio and Michael bosses her around, making her sit on a couch. He’s pissed that she’s made him feel like a fool and he’s not going to stand for it anymore, especially if she’s going to stay out all night.  She’s about to confess to her threeway, thinks better of it, and then asks him simply to make love to her, right there on the couch.  She opens her dress, lets down her hair and they go at it.

On a meta-level, this scene is most notable because its one of only a few times in her career that Bridgette Monet had sex with someone other than her husband.  This is one of the longer scenes in the movie.  Michael eats her out for a bit, then she sucks him to hardness and sits reverse cowgirl on his rod.  They grind a bit as he kneds her breasts and then they move onto side side as she lies own the couch, with her eyes closed.

In this scene, in the empty studio, there is no one there to watch — just us.  But she opens her eyes for a moment, and, like the other characters before her, sees who has been watching her — she looks directly through the camera out to us, the only ones left who are watching.

They wrap up fucking doggie style and she sucks him off, jerking his load out explosively onto her shoulder and arm (stupid gravity) and she orally cleans him up afterwards.  (There is a briefest of moments when the jizz on her shoulder catches a light and it makes the most fantastic starburst…)

They share a post-coital snuggle where she tells him it was wonderful and he laughs that he’s a pretty good lay… ROUND TWO? he asks as we fade to the closing credits.

There’s not a bad sex scene in the bunch here.  The movie manages to fit in seven scenes into its 77 minute running time along with the thinnest of plots (getting ready for a fashion show, lovers not having sex, voyeurism) and some laughs as well.  (That picture of John Ogden alone makes me smile.)  If the concept of people watching other people fuck gets you off, you won’t find a better movie covering that interest, and the girls in it are all natural and all hot.  Really great stuff.

Imperator said this about it:

 This is an 1982 Swedish Erotica release that is very notable for containing one of those rare scenes between the gorgeous Bridgette Monet and someone other than Dave Cannon. The lucky stiff in this case is Mike Horner. Dave does get his chance with wifey in another scene that immediately follows a very nice Monet-Lisa De Leeuw (this name will kill me! :-)) girl-girl. Other than that, the film is a typical Swedish Erotica thingy, with lots and lots of screwing with little plot aspirations. This doesn’t mean “I like to watch” is a bad film. I sure like to watch Ms. Monet in every opportunity and this film also features the lovely Little Oral Annie displaying her trademark accomplishment as well as her willingness to do anal. If only she had picked a less silly nom de porn :-). Rating: 3.10. A must for big boobs fans (Monet, DeLeeuw and L.O.A. are all very well endowed as everybody knows)

I’d probably rank it higher, a 3.60 or so on the Imperial Scale.  It’s a keeper.

The Imperial Scale: 0 to 4, with a precision of 0.05:

  •  Anything below 2 rent at your own risk, ‘cos it sucks
  • Between 2 and 2.50, rent only if you are an ardent fan of the particular star/genre featured
  • 2.50 to 3.35 are all good to great rentals
  • 3.35 to 3.50 are good for purchasing if you can spare the bucks
  • Anything higher than 3.50 is a keeper
  • 4.00 is impossible for anything later than 1984 :-)

Related

 

Tonight on Playboy Radio: Stiff Competition

Tonight on Playboy Radio Debi and I discussed the Caballero Classic release, Stiff Competition.   There’s some question as when the movie was made — we list it as 1984 (its copyright date), AVN lists it as 1985 (US release date) and IMDB lists it as 1986.  (IMDB seems to consider its release date in Japan as its source.)

“If you can’t eat me, you can’t beat me!  Please excite me, just don’t bite me!”

The movie starts in San Francisco, where Tammy (Gina Carrera) is riding along with her much older sugar daddy, played by Nick Random. He has a surprise for her, a trip to an underground blowjob competition.  (Ah, simpler times when a blowjob competition was considered an acceptable place to take a date…)

After paying the cover at knifepoint, they work their way downstairs where they see Jeff (Kevin James) a cocksucking coach working the crowd, looking for action that “The Mouth” (Susan Hart) can get off some lucky stud (Michael Christopher) in 8 minutes. She rips his cock out, and starts going to town as Jeff shouts encouragement and tips (“That a way – good technique! That’s the way to work it, Mouth!”)

He shouts to the crows “What do you think folks?  Do you think she’ll do it?  I think she’ll do it!” but the crowd doesn’t believe him, and a sailor comforts his friend, assuring him that Mouth isn’t up to the job. Jeff hears this and starts to get impatient — “You better do this, Mouth!” — at which point she tells him to fuck off and she runs out.

Tammy doesn’t see what the big deal is and tells Jeff she’ll finish the job so he doesn’t lose his kneecaps.

The crowd is agitated at the staff change, but Jeff and Nick talk them down and let Tammy do her job which ends up with the guy jerking off on her neck prompting Jeff to yell “WE DID IT!” as he spins Tammy around and offers to buy her dinner.  Nick takes off with a wave… this doesn’t seem to be the first time he’s let his girlfriend go home with another man.

(Point of order, I think that would be a disqualification as the girl did not get the guy off, but he got himself off… but then I suppose there’d be no movie…)

Cut to NYC and The Mouth is calling Cynthia Silkthroat (Cyndee Summers) a retired competitor who is planning her comeback on the underground cocksucking syndicate. Cynthia, — Silky, to her friends — tells The Mouth to keep an eye on Jeff and his new find so as to not have her big return spoiled… since there’s a $50,000 purse at stake.

Afterwards, she tells her manager, Jake the Snake (John Leslie), the score.  He tells her not to worry and they should get back to business… OF FUCKING! ;-)

“How about I don’t fuck you; I just look at you and jerk off?”, Snake asks.

“No way”

So he mounts her and her hips buck to meet his.  They kiss as he talks his way through it, and then they shift to doggie and she thrusts her ass against his cock. They finish up spooning, and he pulls himself out and jerks off on her bush.  They kiss quite a bit afterwards as he tells her how much she drives him crazy with lust.

At dinner, Jeff tells Tammy about the competition – the “Super Bowl of Suck-Offs.”  Tammy dreams about the 50 grand — only to say “it’s not about the money” a short while later — and Jeff offers himself as a manager for a small percentage of the purse.  He explains the competition – there’s a big suck off in Las Vegas.  The East Coast champ, Silky Throat , retired, but everyone is worried about her making a comeback to get the prize.  Tammy is non-plussed.

He invites her back to his place to see his “Yellow Bellied South African Blowfish” which is code, apparently, for making with the sex.  As she strips, Jeff makes sure she knows she’s “one attractive lady.”  They never fuck, she blows him, he fucks her face for a little and then she jerks his sizable load all over her chin.  (Nice shot, Kevin!)

Dissolve to the breakfast nook with the sun streaming in, and Tammy is looking all kids of sexy, sitting on a chair in nothing but a T-Shirt.  (Among other attributes, Gina Carrera has awesome legs.)  Jeff proposes hitting a bunch of swinger’s clubs so she can practice on a bunch of different cocks.  They settle on a name – Tammy The Tongue.

What follows is a pretty funny training montage – she’s in front of an American flag, as he points to charts and graphs of penises.  She does tongue exercises.  He repeats mantras.  She works her way down a bunch of dildos on a piece of wood.  She’s in a swinger club taking on three guys as Jeff continues his coaching.  “Remember the head – you’ll be a winner! You want to be the best, you have to work the hardest!”  Interspersed are spinning headlines “The Tongue – IS TERRIFIC..!”

Jake throws a newspaper away and bitches “Next thing you know, she’ll be on the cover of Time magazine!” (Ah, the conceit that these events are big enough to merit nationwide interest always makes me laugh.  They take it to an extreme later as we cut around to various houses filled with all shapes, sizes and ages of people watching the competition on TV.)

Silky calls Don Head in Vegas (a thin Ron Jeremy with Don King afro) to enter the competition and tells her that he sold the rights to the title bout and it’ll be carried on cable TV.  He tells her only two women have qualified so far, Linda Lonestar from Texas (Bridgette Monet) and Tammy.  (All the whole, Don is being blown by his secretary (Misty Regan) under the desk.)

What I find interesting is the willingness to not have a full sex scene.  Just a quick shot of the girl blowing Ron is enough.  It’s blowjob as sight gag; not as sexual device.

Next up, we’re in Beaver Creek, Texas and Linda Lonestar (Bridgette Monet) is doing some barbell curls and already spending the 50 grand, telling her husband (David Cannon) to hire a limo to take them to the airport instead of using a rental car.  Shortly, they get down to business on the weight bench, and she starts sucking his cock.  She deep throats him completely, the first time we see this feat in the movie.  He buggers her and then cums on her ass.  (There’s been some question if this was a stunt butt or not.  I think it’s inconclusive…)

Cut to a swinger’s party and there’s some coupling going on – Kristara Barrington is astride an amazingly young Peter NorthCynthia Brooks is being eaten by Craig Roberts – but it gets interuppted by Tammy and Jeff’s entrance.  Everyone uncouples and crowds around them.  Wayne (Herschel Savage — how young!!) swaggers in with Patti Cakes (Patty Plenty) in tow and talks some smack… so it’s a BLOW-OFF!  First one to make their man cum WINS!  (Seems to me you need less of a great cocksucking skills and more of a premature ejaculation problem to win this bet.)

Tammy sucks Jeff and Patti sucks Wayne.  There’s a ton of people cheering them on, including Jake and Silky who are getting their first glimpse of Tammy.  Before we get a winner crowned, we get Fellatio Interruptus as the host bursts in yelling that “This is a pleasure party, not a business party!  Now, get outta here!” and throws the competitors out as the rest of the guests go back to getting their freak on.

Swedish Erotica magazine sends Kitten Natividad over to cover Tammy’s training and take some photos, and you can’t have one naked girl without it becoming two naked girls, so it’s not long before Kitten releases her most famous attribute and dives in for some light pussy eating and nipple fucking. Not really a great scene.

Wayne and Patti show up in Vegas to see Don, and discuss the appearance of impropriety since Don has a contract with Silk – so how can anyone else win? So Wayne tries to grease the wheels and help with Don’s alimony with five grand, and when that doesn’t work, after much protesting of how it appears having Wayne and Patti in the office – Don lets his dick get sucked while Wayne fucks her from behind.  After a bit, they switch spots (tho Don/Ron takes her ass) and Wayne cums on her face as Don cums on her butt.

Tammy finds herself hanging around with Jake — tho she does not know who he is, or that he set her up to see Jeff and Silky rekindle their old flame… she has Jake take her home.  Jake mentions that he can help Tammy win by fixing the contest.  He takes off his ring and talks her out of  her sweater.  (“Do you feel sexy?  You look sexy…”) There’s some good sexy talk from Jake as he gets the scene started.  There’s some breast play as Jake says “I’m gonna jerk off to you.” The dirty talk continues as he taunts her by not fucking her. Eventually, naturally, they *do* fuck, but he stops and just jerks off some more, eventually cumming on her skirt. A smoldering scene.

Finally – we’re at the contest. This was shot in a real boxing arena, and the place seemed to have a lot of people in it; sure some of it was movie magic, but there were still a whole bunch of people there.

 

Paul Thomas is doing a servicable Howard Cosell impression. Next to him are some Japanese announcers, with others down the ringside table. Don Head is the ring MC, and we get some interesting shots of the arena – overhead, low shots up the steps as Linda Lonestar enters… they’ve captured the wrestling vibe very well — outlandish costumes, characters…

As the contestants are being introduced, we cut around to various people watching the match on TV at home or in bars.  That’s a lot of second unit insert work that someone had to shoot.

ROUND ONE: Tammy takes on Tom Byron and Linda takes on Steve Drake.

The crowd has signed “Tammy is on the HEAD of my list…”

What Gina lacks in deep throating skills (she has none), she makes up for with tongue work.

PT’s dialogue is overwrought in the best Cosell-ian fashion: “Tammy the Tongue has literally swallowed the nation’s imagination with her titillating tongue techniques. It’s rumored she was a trumpet player in high school and there learned to use her tongue in such a fascinating fashion and that’s what she uses to get these men off.  Her tongue is moving at an incredible 100 miles per hour…”

Hey, it’s Jack Baker in the crowd!

Linda’s stud isn’t getting hard at all, so her manager tags him out and starts fucking her face vigorously.  Bridgette is a better cocksucker than Gina, and it’s no surprise she gets her manager off before Tammy gets off Tom Byron.  (Tommy wears a bemused expression throughout.)  However, it’s the story not the performance that makes her lose the round on a rules violation.  (The rules — page 6, section 9 — state that for the purposes of competition, the sucker and the suckee cannot know one another. )

Her manager wails “How we gonna pay for that limousine now?!?”

They also cut to the TV truck where they’re shooting the match for cable TV.   I’m really impressed with the level of non-sex production put into this movie.

Cut to a packed bar where barflys argue stats:

BARFLY1: I’m telling you, the world record is 7 minutes, 23 seconds…

BARFLY 2: Indoor or Outdoor?

BARFLY1: What’s the difference?

BARFLY2: Wind resistance.

At this point, there’s a sad trombone kind of music drop.  This is a bit of a motif that runs through a lot of these 80s comedies – the director almost groans at his own joke with a music cue.  Pachard did it in Sexcapades and in Great Sexpectations.. it’s almost they don’t trust their own script.  A minor stylistic nitpick.

But the fact that the scene exists at all is extraordinary to me, since it does nothing but provide color.  There’s nothing sexy; these aren’t hunky guys or anything… it’s just a scene that the movie needed and Vatelli wasn’t afraid to shoot.

The crowd starts to go wild (and we see all the empty seats above them) when Cynthia Silkthroat enters the arena.  We cut back to the bar:

BARFLY 1: I saw this Silkthroat bitch at the ’83 Tampa Suck-Off. She’s the rat’s ass.

BARFLY 2: Your wife blows better than she does.  She’s finished.

BARFLY 1: What?   How would you know how my wife blows?

Ba-dum-bum.

ROUND TWO: Silky and Patti go up against one another; Patti blows Tom Byron (he didn’t finish the first time) and …

I’ll leave the rest of the contest for you to discover.  You can bet along with the barflies… tho I will say Tammy got a faceful of Peter North :-)

However, stick around thru the credits since there are bloopers, Cannonball Run style.

The closing credits conflict with the opening credits in that the opening credits list 1984 as the copyright date, but the closing credits say 1985, so somewhere in there is the truth. (Maybe they started th emovie in 1984 and ended in 1985.) :-)

Well, the oddest thing about this movie is how weak the stars are in the oral department as compared to others stars of the day.  Tho most their review was very positive, AVN had this to say:

“… for a film about a blowjob championship, none of the three major stars – Gina, Cyndee and Bridgette – had the skill of a Little Oral Annie or a Marilyn Chambers. Summers should’ve won but Gina Carrera was the director’s girlfriend.”

… and it’s hard to dispute that.  (The movie acknowledges this by giving Don a snippet of dialog saying that Little Oral Annie was beaten in an earlier round; there’s a newspaper prop even.)  More trivia: Paul Vatelli directed LOA’s seminal ball-draining scene in I Like To Watch.

Of the three, Gina was the weakest, tho her tongue was very active.  Bridgette could certainly swallow Dave’s dick with aplomb, but she did have quite a lot of practice with it. :-)

The best scene for me was the Gina Carrera / John Leslie more for what wasn’t done than what was.  It’s a good tease scene and John brings the charm.

Paul Vatelli died in 1986 of AIDS related pneumonia.

I was hoping to briefly revisit Dick Howard‘s post-performer career — he is quite a bit more than just a “utility player” as I characterized him, and he deserves his due — but we didn’t have the time.  To state for the record, he’s best known and most influential for his work in the adult press.  As Jeremy Stone, he served as editor of Adam Film World and as Tim Connelly, he served as editor of AVN. He was also married to Kelly Nichols,  Kimberly Carson and then later to Christy Canyon. They all ended in divorce.  In his words, “I’ve learned after being married to three porn stars that I’m really good at getting married, but I’m just not good at staying married.”

His history, in his own words, from a circa 2004 interview:

I’ve been in the business going on twenty-eight years now. I started out primarily as a performer back in New York. I’m a rock and roll drummer, and I started teaching a punk rock band’s girl drummer how to play drums, and it turned out that she wasn’t very good at playing the drums, but she was a great stripper and porn star, named  Helen Madigan, and we started a relationship.

When I got back to New York, I needed money, and I had a chance to perform with Helen, so we did that. I had a great time, and I did well, I guess, because they asked me if I wanted to continue doing it when I needed money, and I did. I also started doing live sex shows. Being someone who was a writer as well as a drummer, I started writing about my experiences. Pretty soon I found myself writing for High Society Magazine, for Swank; I ghost wrote columns for porn stars.

Then I evolved into a relationship with Kelly Nichols, who became my first of three porn star wives. The entire time I continued to play drums, and write for adult magazines about my experiences. I also started reviewing movies for Adam Film World – I used the pseudonym Jeremy Stone, because back then, in the early eighties it wasn’t necessarily a good idea to use your real name if you wanted to have a career in the music industry. So I pursued that, and continued to play drums, and whenever I needed money, I would go and do an adult film.

[Performing] was something I just found myself enjoying all the time, so when I moved out to California to play in a band, I continued to perform in movies, and I ended up with Kimberly Carson – who is the mother of my daughter, [my daughter] is now 18 – and [Kimberly] got pregnant, and wanted to get out of the business, and so did I.

At that point I was the editor of Adam Film World; I had already started doing the directory of adult films, as well as syndicating my writing into the foreign market, and I was freelancing for Adult Video News. Paul [Fishbein] had always talked about wanting to have me come over and work with him, but we just had to get the right thing going at the right time. It had to be the right money, the right agreement, the right relationship, and that took a while. We did the dance with each other for about seven years, and we continued to try and work together, and then finally about two years ago, we put it together and it happened. Since then, I’ve been over here as publisher.

(These quotes came from an interview he did with sexherald.com — “Twenty-Eight Years in the Industry – AVN Publisher Tim Connelly Loves the Job ” — but Google is currently reporting that the site is currently adware infected, so I won’t link there.  I had to use a minor bit of wget voodoo to get past Google’s blocking of the site. :-)