RIP Joey Valentine

JoeyIAFD had received word from one of her friends that Joey Valentine had died back in December. However, it took me a while to confirm this since I didn’t have an obituary to work with. In this day and age, it seems like people are relying more and more on social networking sites to do memorials instead of a printed obit. The friend submitted corroborating evidence but asked us not to disclose it to the public. We do not know how she had died but people are always going to speculate when someone dies so young.

I had met Joey on two different sets. One for Tim Von Swine’s Pork BBQ and the other was from Erik Everhard’s Outnumbered 5. She was generally quiet and aloof, but was friendly whenever I directly interacted with her.

Her IAFD profile states she was active 2005-2010. Even though I am positive that she retired several years back, one of the idiosyncracies of our IAFD system is that the years active field relies on when her movies are released. We often don’t know when exact scenes are produced since producers sometimes bunch together movie scenes shot years apart. The back of the boxcover may give the dates, but it’s a crapshoot to match them up to the specific scenes. In this case though, I knew she had shot her scene in Outnumbered 5 in 2006, but it wasn’t released until 2010.

[We have the ability to override certain titles’ inclusions in a performer’s years active.  I tagged Outnumbered 5 to be ignored in calculating Joey’s years active.  It now reflects 2005-2007. – Vanzetti]

How The IAFD Works, And Why Some People Don’t Like Us For It

Recently, we’ve been under some criticism from the Twitterverse via @LezFemmez for shortcomings in our site.  He posted a snarky blog article on the subject — My Beef with IAFD.COM — and I figured I’d address his complaints here, in an effort to start a dialog.  (There’s only so much productive back and forth you can do in 140 characters.)

The biggest issue I have is the “LezOnly” marking. Why for fuck’s sake don’t they mark every G/G appearance by a girl in a particular movie? Now that would really be super helpful, but of course it would be a lot of work, so that sure ain’t gonna happen.

The LezOnly tag was designed by our esteemed founder to let visitors know that a girl ONLY did g/g in a movie.  In other words, she only did it with other girls in the movie.

Now, this may be an awesome thing — “Yes! I don’t have to see Nikki Rhodes swallow cock in Fuck the World!” — or it may be a bad thing — “Shit!  I was hoping Nikki Dial did more than just munch box in Rump Humpers 2” — but in either event, you know not to get that movie for one reason or another.

Now, we admit, there may be a place for the tag that LezFemmez is looking for, sort of a LezToo tag — which is to say she both gobbles knob and eats a girl out.  He’s also right in saying it’s some work to implement it — maybe not as much as he might think — we can certainly make some assumptions based on scene breakdowns and auto-generate the tags that way.

Also, LezFemmez seems to imply we’re not interested in doing any work (“…so that sure ain’t gonna happen“).  Somehow, in the last year,  data on over 10,000 movies happened… and it was a fair amount of work.  We’re not afraid of work — but we do like to prioritize so we can make sure we’re working smart.

The next worst problem is that obviously some people working for IAFD don’t really get what is a G/G scene and what is not. Admittedly, things in those 70s movies can get a little fuzzy, but two women talking to each other with a little groping involved does not qualify as a lez scene you need to write down in the database. Something unfortunately happening all too often, which leaves you with a profound longing to hurt somebody because once again you relied on the assessment of this one person who thinks that was a G/G scene.

Tomato, tomato on this one.  One man’s trash is another man’s treasure, etc.

What are the guidelines for a g/g scene?  Is a kiss enough?  Not enough?  Do we have to have fingering?  Full nudity?  Ice dildoes? Is there an empirical

Data on the older movies is a tough nut to manage because so many of the movies are out of print and if they’re in print, it’s very possible they’re in a different cut than they were when the database entry was generated.

This database has been in existence since 1982 or so, when Peter first started compiling the data for it.  So, the data from these older movies may be 20 years old and who knows how many versions ago.

So, while YOUR copy may have some conversation and a little groping, it’s very possible that there was an awesome fisting scene that was cut — or maybe only released in Europe — that we saw which is why it was tagged that way.  Sadly, we can’t ask Peter for clarification, since he’s no longer with us… but we do tend to defer to his data on the older stuff.

To explain further, in my mind,  Raw Talent includes a scene where Jerry Butler fucks a turkey carcass, cums on it and then serves the cummy sandwich to a difficult customer.  However, to the modern viewer, Jerry Butler walks into the kitchen, grumbles and then delivers a sandwich to a difficult customer.

So, what should the database reflect?  (Let’s assume the turkey in this case was an actual tracked performer.)  Does it reflect the original movie or the version currently available?

We choose the original movie, and we’ll add some explanatory comments;  unless there have been such significant cuts that the movie is then entered a second time (we’re looking at you, Traci Lords) …  For instance, we list both the Traci version of Talk Dirty to Me 3 and the re-released version that had Lisa DeLeeuw in her place – Talk Dirty to Me 3 (new).

IMDB has the superior ability to track “Alternate Versions” and we don’t have a very good way to do that.  We can just link the two together and try to add something to the comments field.

Another thing would be the search option. Why for fuck’s sake isn’t it possible to search for any words? No, it has to be the exact title, otherwise that freakin’ site doesn’t find a thing. Every other site, database or not, is featuring that, but no, not IAFD. Here’s an example: if you’re searching for the movie “The Best Little Whorehouse in San Francisco” you actually have to enter either one word alone or the exact title, but without the “the” in front of course (another superbly annoying feature). But of course “Whorehouse San Francisco” leaves you with nothing. So what the fucking fuck?

We feel your pain.  We do.  And we haven’t done anything about it because we’re (likely mistakenly) afraid of breaking with our own traditions.  (Seriously.)

I will say this, searching for “The Best Little” DOES bring up the title you’re looking for.  As a style guide, we drop the leading THE and A articles from titles.  That’s how Peter did it, so that’s how we do it.  It might not be right, but it’s the path we went down.  The search engine is smart enough to know to drop the leading “THE ” from a search term.

If you search for “whorehouse” you get 12 titles; if you search for “san francisco” you get 43 titles.

Now seems as good time as any to talk about this:

How Our Search Engine Works

It’s stupid.  It’s frightfully, frightfully stupid and oh so 1996.  It is. I can’t defend it as cutting edge, because it’s not — but it does work, if you know how to use it.

We don’t use Full-Text Searching because we’ve found it to be less successful and less precise than substring searching.

In our experience, typing in a small part of your title (“whorehouse”) will get you a better set of results than typing in “whorehouse San Fransisco” since the Fulltext engine is going to shoot back more titles than the substring search will.

How does this 1996 logic work in a 2010 world?

If you know the secret, works well enough.  If you don’t, you can find yourself pissed off and fast.  That’s why we offer the searching tips.

When I say it works well enough, I am leaving out its dirty little secret: It’s Fucking Slow Sometimes.

We know it.  You know it.  Substring searches are the slowest types of searches.  What they gain in accuracy, they lose in speed.  This wasn’t so bad when we were a small site, but as we’ve grown, it’s becoming all too apparent that it doesn’t scale so well.

Clicking around link to link is usually pretty speedy, but searching will occasionally (!!!) take longer than is comfortable.

So, FullText searching as the default way of searching is probably in our not-too-distant future, anyway…

Oh, and please don’t let yourself distract from eventual “BJOnly” markings, because there’s always a good chance the girl also has a G/G scene in that movie. Yah well, IAFD is not an exact science, more of a guessing game, which is really “helpful” on a database.

BJOnly tags are meant to be just that — the gal (or guy, if you’re interested in the gay titles) just blows someone in the movie; they have no other sexual activity.  If she has a G/G scene with someone else, there shouldn’t be a BJOnly tag.  If there is, it’s obviously a mistake, and you should let us know about it — we’ll remove the incorrect tag.  The scene breakdowns should make it pretty clear (but not always).

The tags were intended to let the visitor make informed buying/rental decisions.  If you’re a fan of someone but not a fan of G/G, buying a movie where she’s tagged [LezOnly] won’t satisfy you.  If you want to see someone fucked in the ass ([Anal]) or Peed On ([GoldShower]) you’d look for those tags.  If you want to see someone get fucked, you’ll ignore their [NonSex] or [BJOnly] tagged movies.  If you want to get everything they’ve ever done, you’ll avoid the [Clip] tags.  You might have to read a little deeper to see if the [DVDOnly] tag is new or old footage…

Hopefully this has given a little insight into how we do things.  We’re not above criticism.  Believe me, our editorial forum is a hotbed of self-criticism, sometimes to the point of near-paralysis as an issue is debated and re-debated.

We’re looking to make some changes in the coming year to address some of these criticisms, and I hope as we move forward you’ll all let us know how we’re doing.

One week after AEE: introducing morbidthoughts

It’s been one week since the 2011 AVN Expo, and I am still physically fatigued. I  put  myself through this every year because the perks of meeting up with so many of my friends at one time, porn star or not, is too great. IAFD is maintained by a group of volunteers, and this is the one time a year several of us convene together in person to talk about issues regarding our website and the adult industry in general. One of the byproducts of this meeting is the following.

You may notice that this blog entry is the first post from someone other than the murky “IAFD Staff” designation. I am morbidthoughts, and the opinions I express in this blog are usually mine alone. They should not be considered endorsed by the staff especially if they end up being stupid. We have many different personalities in our group including one brilliant editor with multiple personalities *cough*Dr. Evil*cough* so we won’t always agree on everything.

Anyway, most of my contributions to IAFD has been as a reporter covering the multiple conventions and sets I visit with my colleagues, Bono One of and Malte of I take thousands of pretty pictures a year and  interview many people in the industry in between drinks. Because of this, I do the occasional data entry/correction on IAFD based on personal requests from them.

As for this year’s AVN convention, I had a great time even though the show shrank in half from last year by measure of exhibitors and physical space. The number of attendees remained constant though so the show was consistently busy whenever the fans were let in. I took thousands of pictures as always and managed to interview Riley Steele, Bibi Jones, and Zoe Voss. I can’t promise when they would be published though.

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Highlights outside of the show included:

  • Meeting up with the always awesome Tricia Devereaux of Evil Angel for dinner and ended up screaming at the bartenders for free shots. Also met the gorgeous Jynx Maze at the same dinner not knowing that she was Jynx Maze or even who Jynx Maze was beyond Bono One excitedly repeating her name.
  • Receiving a brief lap dance from Katie St. Ives, who is that damn cuddly and adorable in person.
  • Taking a limo with the Spieglergirls just to go to the hotel across the street on the Las Vegas Strip.
  • Watching Alexis Texas bowl to the tune of Sir Mix A Lot’s Baby Got Back.
  • Watching two-time AVN Performer of the Year, Tori Black, put the house go-go dancer at a nightclub to shame with her pole skills and energy.

The only lowlight was my camera breaking at the nightclub. Hence the blurry phone shots.

So yeah, that’s why I am still tired.

We Don’t Buy The New Astrology

Facebook was aflame with a recent article in Time Magazine which claims that there’s a 13th sign of the Zodiac.

We don’t buy it.

Don’t look for your favorite Ophuchicus pornstar, as you won’t find her here.

If these people can add a 13th horoscope, I’d like to call for a 13th month (the Simpsons’ “Smarch” will do nicely) to counteract the snow in mid-April or coatless weather on Thanksgiving that us east coasters have to face.   Smarch is just what the doctor ordered… but until I get that, no Ophuchicus.  (Or as I choose to pronounce it “O Fuck, I cuss”)

I mean, first they take away Pluto, and now this?  They’re fucking with my world view is what they’re doing, and I don’t like it!

For the “classic Zodiac” you can get your fix on the newly re-designed IAFD Astrology page.

IAFD Interview 19: Stoya

So, Morbid Thoughts walks into a bar…

(Do we need to fill in the rest?)

Morbid visited the Venus Fair in Berlin and was lucky enough to have Digital Playground contract star Stoya to pal around with for a little while… and she’s NICE enough to interview herself  for 25 minutes or so while he has a bit of a hard time putting a question or three together. :-)

Photo from Morbid’s Flickr Stream:

Stoya at IAFD:

Stoya’s Tumblog:

Stoya’s Twitter: