AVN Awards 2012: Acting Awards

Best Actor

Best Actress

Best Non-Sex Performance

Best Supporting Actor

Best Supporting Actress

Best Tease Performance

Tonight on Playboy Radio: Devil in Miss Jones 3 (1986)

The AVN Award Nominations are due out tomorrow, so in honor of that, I thought we’d take a look at the movie which won the Best Film award 25 years ago, The Devil in Miss Jones 3, directed by Gregory Dark.  This movie is paired with DMJ4.  They were shot at the same time, but packaged as two separate title, killing two birds with one production — two tapes allowed for maximum revenue generation and it also avoided having to cut the movie so it would comfortably fit on one VHS tape.  (VHS tapes can hold 140 minutes, and the two halves of the movie add up to… 140 minutes; so there’s no room for leaders, phone sex ads, trailers, etc.)

There is so much to say about this movie, and I fear my busy schedule will not allow me to do it justice in the blog… and there are a few excellent reviews of the movie elsewhere that I really agree with, so it seems silly for me to re-hash their excellent work.


DMJ3 has little to nothing to do with the Damiano’s 1973 original or Pachard’s 1982 sequel (review).  It *does* concern a female protagonist named Justine Jones (Lois Ayres) who ends up in hell, but the similarities end there.  It’s a retelling of Dante’s Inferno with Jack Baker acting as Virgil, her guide through hell.

The plot is simple enough – Justine breaks up with her boyfriend Tom Byron (who is too busy shaving Jennifer Noxt‘s pubes) and goes out looking for love.  On her way to a singles bar, she runs into a pimp (Jack Baker) who wants her to work for him…

So she goes inside and meets Paul Thomas and they go back and fuck.  He’s taking her from behind and gives one final thrust before he cums (awesome slo-mo leading up to this) when the force of the thrust sends her into the wall where she cracks her head on the headboard and dies, ending up in hell.  It’s there that she meets Negro (also Jack Baker) her guide to hell… the only way out is through, so she is taken through a variety of rooms where the damned are forced to live out all eternity performing acts of perversion.

They start in the “Voyeur” room where people are forced to watch others have sex.  Justine runs into her college rooomate there (Kari Foxx, in a nonsex role) wearing a wedding dress, and they watch Careena Collins and Marc Wallice go at it, followed by Amber LynnMarc Wallice and Peter North.  Amber, as the announcer tells us, is doing the “Dance of the Double Dong” and she gets both guys in her baby hopper.

On their way to the next room, Ms. Jones gets shanghai’d by the Slutmen (Troy Tannier and Peter North) who double-team her, dropping a huge load on her face right before Negro rescues her from a life in hell — “If I wasn’t here, you’d have been fucked eternally, drowned in cum, and your pussy would have worn out, BITCH!” To which she replies, “I don’t know what came over me!  Even tho it started to hurt, it started to FEEL GOOD!” and as he drags her out towards the next room, someone catches his eye…

Another old friend of Justine’s, played by Vanessa del Rio, is getting gangbanged in the center of the room.  They trade some dialogue about how Justine’s not dead and how Vanessa felt that way when she first got there…

The gangbang is pretty raw, and in 1985, a pretty rare thing to see on the screen.

The movie ends there, forcing you to wait for DMJ 4 which was released a few months later.  When the film was released on DVD, it was packaged on a single disc with its sibling, so you can buy one DVD and get both movies.

Fun trivia: The Gleaming Spires (who had a minor radio — but massive soundtrack – hit “Are Ready for the Sex Girls”) provided the theme for the titles, A Christian Girl’s Problems.  This is the second time Greg Dark tapped the LA new wave scene for a theme song, having hit up The Plugz for “Electrify Me” which was the theme for most of the New Wave Hookers series.

I’ll leave you with the non-DMJ-themed music video  for “A Christian Girl’s Problem” by The Gleaming Spires:

Great Moments in Porn Dialogue: Pink Pussycat (1992)

I think there’s a great deal of truth hiding out in porn scripts, especially if Henri Pachard is involved.  Case in point, 1992’s The Pink Pussycat where Pachard basically plays himself and delivers a monologue about how to shoot porn to two couples: P.J. Sparxx and TT Boy are one couple and Cole Stevens and Carolyn Monroe (aka Candace Hart) are the other.

The scene starts with both couples sitting on a bed, and Pachard starts to rearrange them:

PACHARD:  OK, Yes, let’s go.  OK, we’re all set for this.  (To Carolyn/Cole) You guys on the bed, and (to TT Boy, motioning to the couch) you close to here…

PJ: No, no, no, no, no….

PACHARD: Yes, yes…

PJ: When can I have sex on the bed?!

PACHARD: Beds are for dying, baby!  Sit down right here.  (Yeah, this is going to play good from here.) Let me tell you something right now, young man and you too — I don’t care what your agent told you, you’re not here because of your good lookin’ blue eyes, you’re here for your known for your hard cocks. Now the key to a real dirty movie —  YOU PAYING ATTENTION? — the key to a  dirty movie – LISTEN  TO ME!–  is no romance!  It’s gotta be dirty!  You gotta be selfish! You gotta take — from your partner.  TAKE IT from your partner!  MAKE HIM do these things to you!

PJ: How come I always fuck on other things other than a bed?  When can I have normal sex on a bed?  You make me either sit on top of the roof, on top of the stairs, on the floor, on top of the desk…

PACHARD: You’re far too dynamic to be fucking on a, on a bed. I want you on the couch, with the black background, it symbolizes your midnight thoughts.

PJ (aside, pouting): I’m always on the couch…

PACHARD: Now you guys — (to PJ) Relax, you’re going to be great — (back to the group) Be selfish! Selfish sex pays.  It looks better for the movies. I don’t want to do the romance.  (Unintelligible mumbling)  I don’t want to do the romance stuff…

PJ (more pouting): I don’t do that anyway…

PACHARD: Take your sex!  Take it! USE these people! I don’t need to hear the corny lines “Oooh, it feels so good, it feels so good…” I don’t need to hear any of that…

CAROLYN: What are we supposed to say, “It feels shitty?”

PACHARD: Tell him what to do.  You want to sit on that man’s face, SIT RIGHT ON IT.  Fuck his nose if you have to.  I don’t care what you’re going to do.  (He mumbles to Cole something about buttfucking.)  Whatever it is, don’t be lazy.  This is going to be the mother of all sex scenes.  Passion, total passion!  You with me?  Quiet in the house!  Roll sound!  ACTION!

And then they get into it.

Back in 1994 (with annotations from 1995) Imperator had this to say about the movie:

Well, my pal’s busted video tape (see previous post for its other contents) had saved the best for last (sort of). “The Pink Pussycat”, starring Ashlyn GereP.J. SparxxTrixie TylerMelanie MooreFlamePeter NorthJonathan Morgan and other Fellas. Ah, the good old days when PJ did men! Anyway, this is a good solid production on film, at times brilliantly filmed (in terms of camera angles, not some sort of cheesy “erotic” effects a la Blake); there is unfortunately some waste of resources. Ashlyn begins with a hot scene with Peter North. Ashlyn is her usual delightful, vocal self; and though I don’t care much for facials, *this* one I could barely forget: Peter absolutely drenches her. I don’t know which category this falls under (“normal” or “monster” facial) but it’s damn impressive (“Kascha’s friends” sort of impressive ;-))After that we switch to PJ doing Jonathan and another Fella [6/1/1995: Peter says: “This is Zach Thomas (yes, Mr. Sunset Thomas the lucky bastard ;-)”]. She gets rimmed and does some of her cutest faces on the process. The threesome is however rather brief and therefore a trifle disappointing; a bit like her threesome in “Chameleons -not the sequel”. Anybody know a good, hard, long shag with PJ and two guys?

[Update 3/9/95: If you’re dying to see a good, hard shag with PJ and 2 fellas, check out “3 wives“, an otherwise ordinary rental]

From this slight misuse of resources we go to some blatant waste of the same. A bathtub frolicking with Flame and Trixie Tyler ends after only about a minute of the most promising overture. Flame does not reappear in the film. Now, I am not fanatical about Flame like old Steve, but she is undeniably a most charming creature to be wasted like that. Oh well.Then we go to the film’s crowning glory: Trixie Tyler and Tom Chapman: reverse cowgirl followed by the most superb of anals; fast, hard and LONG action. Amazing.

Ashlyn does Melanie Moore. Dunno why, but it didn’t do much for me. Probably it is overshadowed by the preceding masterpiece. Then T.T Boy (the group’s favourite ;-)) screws PJ (reverse cowgirl no less -woof!) while Carolyn Monroe takes it up the butt from Some Other Guy [6/1/1995: Peter once again comes to the rescue: “That’s Cole Stevens (her SO)”]. The camera work here is rather poor. Finally Ashlyn,  Tom Byron and Holly White (aka Rachel Mann according to the Dutch machine :-)) go about a 3some. Ashlyn is rimmed but unfortunately more time is wasted on filming Ashlyn fingering Tom, than showing the girls. Therefore I FF’ed through most of this scene.

The Imperial verdict: Good stuff, plentiful and raunchy. Some resources were not put to their best use but still, this is a superior film.


(Guide to the Imperial Scale of porn ratings…)