Tonight on Playboy Radio: Debbie Does Dallas

Tonight on Playboy Radio Nightcalls, (Sirius XM102, around 7:45pm eastern) we’ll be talking about the 1978 classic, Debbie Does Dallas.

I can’t believe we’ve been doing this segment for almost 9 months and haven’t talked about perhaps the most well known porno around next to Deep Throat.  Nutty. Even nuttier is the number of versions floating around the world  — anniversary releases, studio rebrandings, VHS, DVD, it’s enough to make your head spin.

To tide you over until later, here’s a YouTube safe cut of the trailer, courtesy of Johnny Stanwyck:

The movie starts with the Debbie announcing her intention to go to Texas to auditions for the Texas Cowgirls.  Members of her local cheerleading squad say they’ll help her raise the money to go — in fact, they’ll ALL go! So, they brainstorm ideas in the locker room.  What follows is a glorious softcore girls strip and shower montage, with just a host of natural tits being freed from their constrictive cheerleading crop-tops and then getting all soaped up.

What a glorious bunch of breasts!

(What do we call a bunch of breasts?  Geese are a gaggle, crows are a murder, lions are a pride… what are boobs? Anyone?)

[Twitter suggestions include “a brothel of boobs” or “a fucking good time!”]

The girls decide to go out and get jobs.

Arcadia Lake walks into a record store run by Tony Mansfield and lands a job, even tho she left her previous job because her old boss got handsy.  Tony figures he can get around it, and they agree that she’ll start later in the day.

Debbie (Bambi Woods) goes to Greenfield’s Sporting Goods store to see Mr. Greenfield (R. Bolla) who immediately fantasizes about seeing Debbie’s tits and banging her as if he was the star quarterback, and he gives her the job, even tho she says she’s “clumsy with boxes.”

Christie Ford is walking down the street with Eric Edwards who says she can help him and his wife (Robin Byrd) take inventory at the candle store.  She can start tomorrow.  “Mr Hardwick! What can I do to repay you?” He grins “I’m sure we’ll think of something.”

The girls lament their jobs (and Georgette Saunders‘ lack of underwear) while the boys lament the fact that the girls aren’t around much now that they’re working.  Hershel Savage is the QB and looks like he’s 19 years old (tho he was 26 at the time).

The filmn was shot on some college

Some of the football players (David MorrisHershel Savage and Steve Marshall)  work their way into the girls showers and stumble across Christie Ford and Kasey Rodgers who are happy to provide a little carnal distraction.  After starting with some well-shot oral, David fucks Christie and jerks off on her ass.  Then Herschel takes over the rest of the sex here is a lot of hairy butts and gential closeups until Herschel spews all over Christie’s back.  Then Kasey blows  Herschel some more as Steve Marshall (with the worst hairline ever seen in college)  fucks her side-saddle until he cums on her bush. She keeps making sweet sweet mouth love to Herschel’s rod and he shoots a straight shot right up her cheek and it pools under her left eye until she uses his cock to wipe it away.  (Ah, the days when the girls could make the guys cum on their own!)

We’re then treated to a montage of the girls at their jobs, and their employer’s lascivious stares and in R. Bolla’s case intercut fantasties.  He grins like a 12 year old throughout all of their scenes together.  Finally, he hints that there are things a girl can do for eatra money.. wink, wink … and he offers 10 bucks to look at her tits.  She lifts her shirt (and what great tits they are!) and he dives for them.  She jumps back, and he offers another $10 just for “a little touch.”  She protests that they’re all good girls, and then she relents, pockets the ten spot and lets him get to second base.  Another 10 dollar offer to suck them… she asks for $20, and he tells her it’s in his pocket and she should reach in and take it out.  He gets into it, a little too much so, prompting Debbie to yell, “If you don’t stop, I’m going to have to tell my mother!” which causes him to immediately retreat.

Back in the locker room, the girls are crestfallen that their jobs are all too low-paying, and when Debbie comes in with 30% of the kitty, they ask her how she got the cash, so she takes off her shirt.  The girls are incredulous, “you just shake your tits and they give you money?”

“There’s money to be made here, girls, fast money– we don’t have to do anything that we wouldn’t do with our boyfriends, and they have fun, don’t they? And we’re all virgins here, aren’t we?”

Yeah, right. :-)

So, an above-the-waist prostitution ring is born.

The girls continue laughing and plotting, and they ask one of the girls who is a virgin how she keeps her boyfriend so happy.  She asks for a banana and then the movie awkwardly cuts to Christy Ford inventorying candles and then masturbating with said candles.  (So, what’d she do with the banana?)  Then, Mrs. Hardwick comes in and interrupts, and gently keeps her undressed while Mr. Hardwick comes in all excited with the “earning extra money” schtick and he just whips his cock out.  Christy is shocked by this turn of events, but is then turned on by the probing hand of Mrs. Hardwick and the husband’s Hard Wick.  (Had to, sorry.)

He nails her missionary as his wife massages around her clit on the couch…