Today on Spice Radio: Elements of Desire (1994)

Today at 2:30 Eastern / 11:30 Eastern we’ll be on Spice Radio (SiriusXM 103) YouPorn with Christy Canyon and Ginger Lynn talking about Cameron Grant‘s 1994 opus, Elements Of Desire, featuring their guest, Dyanna Lauren.

The movie is most notable for having introduced a very young Jenna Jameson  — this was one of her first movies — tho she was credited as “Daisy” in it.  The re-release DVD boxcover features Jenna’s picture on it, as opposed to the original VHS and DVD boxcovers which featured star Julia Ann.  (The original DVD boxcover did have a shiny sticker on it promoting Jenna’s appearance; tho it sure makes it sound like her character name is Daisy, not her credited name.) The initial boxcovers also contained breathless hyperbole that could be considered half-correct: “A Director Fated to Become A Legend; A Movie Destined to Become a Classic.”  For the re-release, they eliminated it entirely as history didn’t real bear it out… Grant only made a handful of movies

This is an outstanding example of its genre of “glossy porn”.  It’s not for everyone, but if you like dreamy synth music, slow visuals, some “MTV editing” and girls looking hot (but not doing anything exceptionally raunchy) this might be for you.  I will say, if you’re a fan of facials, this should be in your viewing rotation as it has one of the best ever.

I first reviewed this movie back in 1995 and gave it a 3.35 on the Imperial Scale (“3.35 to 3.50 are good for purchasing if you can spare the bucks”) but my memory remembers it better.  So, let’s take a trip down memory lane….

But first, some quick history – back before DirectTV and DiSH made satellite dishes small enough to appeal to consumers, you could only get receptionin some areas via a BUD – big, ugly dish — and these allowed you to tune in channels directly off the satellites, so if you were in California and you wanted to watch East Coast programming, you just had to point your BUD to the appropriate transponder and watch away.  Of course, domestic TV wasn’t all that was available, and throughout the high school, there were rumors of all sorts of dirty programming available at Joe’s house — the one kid who had a BUD (the rest of us had cable…) I have no idea if it was true, but this memory came flooding back as I watched this.

The movie opens with some lush synth music and a rolling liquidy red background over which the names of our cast are revealed.  From there, we cut to Celeste (I’d know those boobs anywhere!) with a silk covering her face, sitting on a stone statue of a two-headed lion.  (Deep!)  Then a rapid succession of cuts of other scenes from the movie; giving us a little taste of what’s to come.

A female voiceover (uncredited, but not Julia Ann): “I’d been feeling restless and unfulfilled for quite some time, but it all started when we got that new satellite dish.  (Cut to shot of BUD) We were  able to pick up stations from all over the world (public domain scenes from silent movies – Griffith’s Intolerance, Chaney’s Phantom of the Opera…) it was boring, really… and I was flipping thru the channels when I came to something different.  (Cue Kenny G sax music) It was unlike anything I had ever seen before… it was beautiful, but a bit decadent at the same time…

And we see Maeva in a red and blue lit pool of water — which we now recognize from the opening credits – and she’s rolling around languidly.  This is going for sensual rather than sexual.  We get some nice ass shots and she plays with herself, but it is nothing super-explicit.  Sure is pretty tho.

Next up are two fishnet-body-stocking clad, black hooded dames (Celeste and Misty Rain) and we’re cutting between their antics and Julia getting more riled up on the couch, pulling at her stockings in an effort to touch herself.  The voiceover woman moans on the soundtrack.

Celeste’s hood comes off and Misty’s does shortly after, and there’s a lot of quick cutting to them kissing and groping one another on a white seamless. Celeste rims Misty and lets saliva drip down her cracks.  Then Misty slips a finger, then a silver dildo  into Celeste.  There’s good moaning throughout and Celeste has a couple great “Oh Wow!” wide eyed looks throughout.

The girls, Celeste especially, smile a lot through the scene, and I find that to be very much a turn on.  It looks like they’re having a good time, not that they’re at work collecting a check, or worse, somehow mad at each other and forced into grudge fucking.

Celeste sits on Misty’s face, and her big fake boobs (which don’t look hard like so many fake sets) really stress the fishnet in the most delightful way.

The scene wraps up with the girls kissing each other while Julia is a bit self-conscious about how much she really got  into herself on the couch…

The next morning, Julia eats breakfast with (real-life beau at the time?; virtually all his scenes in his career were with JA) Aaron Colt, and the voiceover tells us how much she can’t get the scenes out of her head. She gets so distracted, she drops her tomato juice, and the maid (Victoria Andrews) comes in disapprovingly and Aaron leaves the table.

Julia calls a tarot card reader (Dyanna Lauren) over the house who promises to re-ignite Julia’s spark.  Dyanna puts a talisman around Julia’s neck and then starts wraps a silk blindfold around her eyes.  (Where else would you put a blindfold, I guess…) Dyanna then starts to get handsy while some sitar-based music plays and then tongues start mingling.  Julia gives herself over to Dyanna who is loosening Julia’s blouse and letting her tongue run all over her lace-encased breasts.  Dyanna slips a nipple out, and the camera really lingers on the breasts, which is pretty great; because they look awesome in their black lace bra.

Dyanna sets them free and puts her fingers in Julia’s mouth and works her way down and gets Julia’s skirt off her and digs in. Dyanna is still clothed until Julia takes the bllindfold off, stands Dyanna up and puts the blindfold on her, bends her over the chair, hikes up her dress revealing a nice thong, then Julia sits her down and buries her head for some serious muff diving, paying careful attention to Dyanna’s clithood. The scene fades out.  There was no live audio at all in this scene, which was kind of unfortunate.  I’m a fan of live audio.

Sapphic desires quenched, Julia goes back to the TV to find “that special channel” and find Woody Long coming out of a pool and pouring tanning oil over Celeste’s (his real-life SO at the time) breasts to more Kenny G music.  He pulls her tits out of her bikini top and massages the oil into them.  He works the oil down her leg and he fellates her patent leather pumps a little. She looks pretty great in her sunglasses, so it’s a little sad when she loses them, but in the trade, we get to see her eyes which are pretty alright.

Finally, Woody stands before her in his speedo, and she pulls his cock out and goes to town, taking him down, then he tit fucks her and she sits on it reverse cowgirl, but we don’t get the full body shots that we need; instead the camera wanders around and lingers on the gyno closeup.  It’s a short lived shag, as we’re back to Celeste sucking Woody off, and (to quote my 1995 self) “Woody blows a massive load at Celeste’s face, she takes it all, and the director lingers on the aftermath for THREE MINUTES! HEAVEN!” Granted, the three minutes is a pretty slow-motiony, but it works to great effect, with Celeste making sure there are a lot of saliva and cum tendrils to play with in the aftermath.  Even without live sound, this is a hall of fame scene.  (Julia thinks so too, as she’s worked a finger into herself by this time.)

We fade out and Aaron enters a room decked out in candles and pours himself some wine. Julia enters in a black robe and negliglee and does a little strip tease while we intercut Tracy West doing a naked fire dance.  As Tracy wrote me back in 1995, “…It is my Famouse Fire Dance That I do as a Feature on the road. I never really was a porn star always been a fire dancer!! That is why they had me voo doo that movie!”  (I like her voodoo pun.)

After a few minutes of strip tease, Julia approaches Aaron and wrap a belt around his neck and then starts sucking him off.  Lots of jump cuts here, so there’s not a clear flow to the action.  Julia then mounts him reverse cowgirl, and Grant is nice enough to give us a few beats or so of a full bodyshot of Julia lowering herself on his dick before we zoom into the gyno action, and then the camera bops around from close-up to close-up.

After the ride, Julia bends over a couch and Aaron pours hot wax on her ass and she doesn’t flinch.  He then fucks her doggie style as she peels the wax off her ass which he rewards with a spank.  Again, no live audio here, and I’m really missing her little squeals as the spank hits home. Aaron leans her head back on the arm of the couch and strokes himself off onto her tits.

Julia goes back to watching TV, and we finally get to the advertising promise of Jenna Jameson and she’s with Frnech beauty Draghixa.  Both girls are in matching bra and panty sets, and have gauzy drapes blowing in and out of the frame obscuring the view. Both girls are super attractive (Jenna hadn’t the chance to meet her surgeons yet) but the pacing and the music really make you fight back slumber. However, it really makes you wonder if the editor was paid by the cut, as this scene is a million cuts, all closeups, and you don’t really get a chance to get involved in anything.  Also, the sapphic work is pretty minimal.  I suspect this might have one of Jenna’s first times with a woman, so there’s nothing really hardcore about this, just slight licking and flicking of tongues.  Credit to Draghixa for actually managing to get a finger up in Jenna’s business and kudos to the editorial team for actually letting us see it for more than 5 seconds.  This is a Penthouse video all the way.

Next up, an “office worker’s fantasy” as Asia Carrera egts ripped out of her office my two dominatix-y women, Celeste and Paula Price. Live sound is once again sacrificed, but the girls waste no time in getting Asia out of her clothes.  They’re really accentuated Asia’s asian features, as opposed to her later amaerasian apperance.  There’s some boot licking from Asia and a large lucite rod is fellated, stroked and eventually lubed for insertion into Asia’s waiting girl bits.  Then Paula and Celeste affix giant strap ons as the scene now takes on an orange tinted glow.  Asia fellates both dildoes before setting on Paula’s as Celeste makes nice to Asia’s hair (and keeping it out of the shot as an added bonus… where was she to wrangle the curtain in the scene before?!?)

OK, I have to be honest.  I am getting pretty bored here.  (Clue: lack of screenshots.)  The lack of live audio, the abundance of dull-ish g/g with hypnotically boring music and visuals that make it hard to focus on any one act are starting to try my patience.

Next up, we get Aaron and Shayla LaVeaux fucking around on a bed, and Julia walks in while Shayla has Aaron’s dick in her mouth, which makes for one of my favorite reaction shots of Shayla’s surprise as Julia comes in.  (A screenshot, I have come to find out, does not do it justice.  It really only works in context.) Julia yells “You bastard!” (not that we hear it; instead we get the voiceover lady telling us how upset she was, in a tone that is like reading a sexy list of groceries) throws a vase into a mirror, and then she slaps Shayla!  The voiceover then ludicrously confesses “I’ve always had this secret attraction to Karen, but I’d never get the courage to do anything about it; but now I was so mad, I didn’t care anymore.  Perhaps I would have reacted differently before, but I had a new perspective on things…” and then they make out.

And then Julia drops to her knees and begins to make sweet sweet love to Shayla’s moneymaker.  This goes on a while, then Shayla returns the favor for a while, and then Julia beckons Aaron to come over, and they both blow him and his stupid ponytail. He fucks Julia then pulls out and cums on Shayla’s shoulder. HER SHOULDER?!?  THAT’S A THING?!?

Now, all three of them are watching TV, trading sexy looks and we see an industrial setting of some kind and P.J. Sparxx is in some kind of sex swing thing and Deidre Holland is having her way with her.

On another channel, Tiffany Mynx and Mark Davis (not Mickey Ray as the credits state) are in their own blue light special.

It starts with Mark eating her as she stands in bra and flowy robe. She blows him, then he fucks her a bit as she’s lying down, and then all too briefly, she does some reverse anal cowgirl and finished things off with a blowjob to a facial finish.  (It’s a pretty good facial, but the scene itself is pretty short and suffers from the same disjointed editing as the rest of it.)

Finally, the movie fades out on Aaron and Shayla playing with Julia’s tits as she remains entranced by the TV.

So, is my memory playing tricks?  Is it better than a 3.35?  (“3.35 to 3.50 are good for purchasing if you can spare the bucks”) Not really.  It’s the lowest end of the “buy if it you have cash to spare” spectrum.  The lack of live audio really detracted for me.  There are some that will find it charming, but I found it a little snooze-worthy at times.

Now, I’d probably go with 3.35 as the high end of  “2.50 to 3.35 are all good to great rentals” and maybe even downgrade it to a 2.75 or 3.

With the prevalence of pay-per-minute video on demand, I’d say, watch the Celeste scene and if you’re a fan of anyone else (spend a minute or two just to see how fucking cute Jenna used to be before she felt the need to become a robo-porno), but otherwise, you won’t die sad if you don’t see the other stuff.

POST SHOW NOTES

Julia Ann was on the show!! I’ve been a big fan of hers since the ice dildo days, so it was cool to talk to her.  We ended up taking a decidedly non-sexy tangent into dogs and my displeasure for a dog I’m dogsitting right now, and I didn’t have to slag the movie while she was on the movie.  (The reason for the slagging wasn’t her fault anyway.  She looked pretty great all the way around here.)

Julia did confirm that Aaron Colt was her boyfriend and gave us the trivia that he didn’t like doing the deed with Shayla since he didn’t want to “cheat.”  Julia told him to pipe down and man up and they shot the scene.