Musings from AVN week

I dread doing a write-up  after every convention; sometimes procrastinating until the next year comes up and realising that I forgot to from the gaps in our archive. This was my 14th AVN and I have been to at least  30 conventions overall. Anyone who actually attends these things can vouch the amount of fatigue that sets in after coming home. It’s not just physical but mental because your brain had been bombarded with stimuli. My colleagues and other porn people have noted in the past that I am not much of a talker after semi-patiently waiting in line, and our conversations are reduced to my nodding at them and some clicks. I do this because I have to catch up with a lot of people, and I don’t want to hold up the fan lines.

So getting that out of the way, here are the photos:

Gia Paige, Melissa Moore, Marsha May, Cassidy Banks
Convention photos
Carter Cruise and Aiden Ashley; all coy
Awards photos

(Click on the photos to be brought to the Flickr Galleries)

Some observations:

  • The first person I saw and greeted upon arriving at the convention hotel was James Deen. I shook his hand and did not see him again until near the end of the AVN Awards when he flitted through with Chanel Preston. I did not observe whether he was treated as a pariah during the festivities but did overhear conversations of talent defending him and fans excited to meet him.
  • After years of improvement, the expo and awards show regressed this year with security and logistics.  Perhaps the show hired a new security firm because they were more heavy handed this year and clueless about controlling the crowds. What was even funnier was watching security block the awards production staff from setting up the awards.
  • Webcam companies dominated the show in terms of square footage and sponsorship. Myfreecams girls were everywhere and the Chaturbate booth was huge. I didn’t meet many webcam models because they seemed more interested in their laptops and webcams than the crowds.
  • The best booth to hang out at was Colette/X-Art, especially in meeting Leah Gotti and Alex Grey. Second best was Jules Jordan’s booth featuring Riley Reid who for the fifth year in a row was the most popular girl at the convention. Bella Danger may have been the second most popular girl at the convention.
  • Mick Blue and Anikka Albrite were easily the most accessible couple, greeting fans far outside of the hospices of the convention.
  • The most inaccessible booth again was Wicked Pictures. Their directors and contract girls have always been great when you actually get to meet them, but their security and support staff are less than genial to deal with.
  • Aria Alexander, winner of the second season of DP Star, apologised for squinting due to cum in her eye while we were taking a selfie. Even though I heard her then, I did not process that in my head until reviewing the photo.
  • Jillian Janson was a tornado at night and sunshine during the day. I was my less than optimal self following her, Kimmy Granger,  and Trillium around.
  • A lot of people surmised that the award winners knew ahead of time of their wins. You wouldn’t believe that after seeing Penny Pax react to her winning Best Actress with tears. I also saw the juxtaposition of reactions of Riley Reid and the other nominees for Female Performer of the Year to know that their emotions are authentic.

Until next year…

P.S. Thank you, Anna de Ville and Melissa Moore.
Anna de Ville Melissa Moore

 

The 2016 Spank Bank Award Nominees Are…

1

Live from my newly remodeled man cave in the suburbs of warm, sunny Nowhere Special, USA it’s time for the 6th Annual Spank Bank Awards, proudly presented to you by IAFD.com! The Spank Bank Awards were founded on the ideal of giving recognition to the dirty little sluts in the adult industry who may (or may not) receive the accolades they deserve from some other awards shows. This year’s collection of perverted honors features a record number of major categories, including (for the 1st time in Spank Bank history) awards for Website, Production Studio, and Director of the Year along with Dick of the Year for the male performers. And as always, there is an abundance of ‘technical’ awards (to be given out at a separate ceremony later this month) giving kudos on a variety of subjects.

The titles of ‘Sexiest Woman Alive’, ‘Dirty Little Slut of the Year’, and the highly coveted ‘Most Spanked To Girl of the Year’ – aka the unholy trinity of filthy awards excellence – were once again an all out war for slutty supremacy. Whether they win or not, every single nominee should be commended for not only their contribution to porn, but for their generous donations to the welfare of mankind in general. Especially to the dirty minded perverts among us. So, without further ado, the results of this year’s Spank Bank Awards:

* Spank Bank Awards are voted on by a panel of porn critics (me), noted adult film connoisseurs (me), outside adult industry media insiders (me), x-rated film fans (me), and a committee chairman (also me). Nominees who entice or influence the panel with any form of ‘sweet talking’, ‘sexual innuendo’, ‘buttering up’, or outright eluding to sexual favors greatly increase their chances of winning.

America’s Porn Sweetheart

Asshole of the Year

ATM Machine

Bad Ass Brunette of the Year

BBC Slut of the Year

Best All Around Porn Goddess

Best Ass Licking Artist

Best Body Built For Sin

Best Booty

Best ‘Come Fuck Me’ Eyes

Best High Speed DSL (Dick Sucking Lips)

Best ‘Just Got Fucked’ Hair

Best Legs

Best ‘O’ Face

Best ‘Resting Bitch’ Face

Best Smile

Best Swallower

Best Vocals

Bionic Butthole

Blonde Babe of the Year

Bondage Artiste of the Year

Boobalicious Babe of the Year

Born To Hand Job

Cocksucker of the Year

Countess of Contortionism

Cumback of the Year

Customs Making Mogul of the Year

Deepest Throat

Dick of the Year

Director of the Year

Dirty Little Slut of the Year

DP Diva of the Year

Excellence in Lawn Maintenance (aka Best Groomed Bush)

Fetish Virtuoso of the Year

Fucking Nerd of the Year

Fun Sized Fuck Bunny

Gangbanged Princess of the Year

Hardest Working Ho in Ho Biz

Imported Temptress of the Year

Instagram Girl of the Year

Life Sized Human Hand Puppet (Best Fistee)

Masturbator of the Year

Mattress Actress of the Year

Most Adorable Slut

Most Awe Inspiring Gape

Most Beautiful Seductress

Most Comprehensive Utilization of All Orifices

Most Luxurious Labia

Most Magnificent MILF

Most Photogenic

Most Spanked To Girl of the Year

Most Underrated Slut

Most Voluptuous Vixen

Newcummer of the Year

Next Level Star of the Year

PAWG of the Year

Porn’s Next Superstar

Prettiest “Whore Mouth”

Prettiest Girl In Porn

Pretty In Pink (aka Prettiest Pussy)

Puppeteer of the Year (aka Best Hands/Fister)

Pussy Eating Princess of the Year

Pussy of the Year

Ravishing Redhead of the Year

Sexiest Painted Lady

Sexiest Woman Alive

Smooth As Silk (aka Best Bald Beaver)

Spanking Slut of the Year

Super Squirter of the Year

The Contessa of Cum

The Dirtiest Player in the Game

The Girl Next Door … Only Better

The Total Package

Tightest Twat

Tortured Fuck Doll of the Year

Tweeting Twat of the Year

Two Hot Dogs in a Hallway

Webcam Girl of the Year

Wet Dream Girl

Congrats to the 2016 AVN Award Winners!

10The 2016 AVN Awards were handed out on January 23, 2016 at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas.  The show was hosted by performers Anikka Albrite, Joanna Angel and comedienne Kate Quigley.

Here are the winners:

 All-Girl Performer of the Year

BBW Performer of the Year

Best Actor

Best Actress

Best All-Girl Group Sex Scene

Best All-Girl Movie

Best Amateur/Pro-Am Movie

Best Anal Movie

Best Anal Sex Scene

Best Anthology Movie

Best Art Direction

Best BDSM Movie

Best Boy/Girl Sex Scene

Best Cinematography

Best Comedy

Best Director: Feature

Best Director: Foreign Feature

Best Director: Foreign Non-Feature

Best Director: Non-Feature

Best Director: Parody

Best Double Penetration Sex Scene

Best Drama

Best Editing

Best Ethnic Movie

Best Foreign Feature

Best Foreign Non-Feature

Best Girl/Girl Sex Scene

Best Gonzo Movie

Best Group Sex Scene

Best Ingenue Movie

Best Interracial Movie

Best Makeup

Best Male Newcomer

Best Marketing Campaign – Individual Project

Best MILF Movie

Best New Starlet

Best Non-Sex Performance

Best Older Woman/Younger Girl Release

Best Oral Movie

Best Oral Sex Scene

Best Orgy/Gangbang Movie

Best Parody

Best Polyamory Movie

Best Porn Star Website

Best POV Sex Scene

Best Screenplay

Best Screenplay: Parody

Best Sex Scene in a Foreign-Shot Production

Best Solo Movie

Best Solo Website

Best Solo/Tease Performance

Best Soundtrack

Best Special Effects

Best Specialty Movie – Other Genre

Best Star Showcase

Best Supporting Actress

Best T/A Movie

Best Taboo Relations Movie

Best Three-Way Sex Scene – B/B/G

Best Three-Way Sex Scene: G/G/B

Best Transsexual Movie

Best Transsexual Sex Scene

Best Web Director

Clever Title of the Year

Director of the Year

Fan Award: Favorite Female Porn Star

Fan Award: Favorite Male Porn Star

Fan Award: Favorite Trans Performer

Fan Award: Hottest MILF

Fan Award: Hottest Newcomer

Fan Award: Most Epic Ass

Fan Award: Most Spectacular Boobs

Fan Award: Social Media Star

Female Foreign Performer of the Year

Female Performer of the Year

Mainstream Star of the Year

Male Foreign Performer of the Year

Male Performer of the Year

MILF Performer of the Year

Most Outrageous Sex Scene

Movie of the Year

Transsexual Performer of the Year

Hall of Fame (Executive Branch)

Hall of Fame (Video Branch)

Since we don’t cover 100% of the AVN Categories, here’s a PDF of the full list of winners.

Congrats to the 2016 XBiz Awards Winners!

2

The 2016 XBiz Awards were handed out  on January 15 at the J.W. Marriott at L.A. Live in downtown Los Angeles.   The show was hosted by Stoya.

Congrats to Lee Roy Meyers and all the folks over at WoodRocket.com for beating us in the Adult Site of the Year: Fan Site category.  Maybe next year!

All-Black Release of the Year

All-Girl Release of the Year

All-Sex Release of the Year

Amateur Release of the Year

Asian-Themed Release of the Year

BDSM Release of the Year

Best Actor – Couples-Themed Release

Best Actor – Feature Movie

Best Actor – Parody Release

Best Actress – All-Girl Release

Best Actress – Couples-Themed Release

Best Actress – Feature Movie

Best Actress – Parody Release

Best Art Direction

Best Cinematography

Best Editing

Best Male Newcomer

Best Music

Best New Starlet

Best Non-Sex Performance

Best Scene – All-Girl

Best Scene – All-Sex Release

Best Scene – Couples-Themed Release

Best Scene – Feature Release

Best Scene – Gonzo Release

Best Scene – Parody Release

Best Scene – Vignette Release

Best Special Effects

Best Supporting Actress

Couples-Themed Release of the Year

Crossover Star of the Year

Director of the Year – Feature Release

Director of the Year – Non-Feature Release

Director of the Year – Parody

Director of the Year: Body of Work

Feature Movie of the Year

Female Performer of the Year

Fetish Release of the Year

Foreign Director of the Year

Foreign Feature Release of the Year

Foreign Female Performer of the Year

Foreign Male Performer of the Year

Foreign Non-Feature Release of the Year

Gay Director of the Year

Gay Movie of the Year

Gay Performer of the Year

Girl/Girl Performer of the Year

Gonzo Release of the Year

Interracial Release of the Year

Latin-Themed Release of the Year

Male Performer of the Year

Marketing Campaign of the Year

MILF Performer of the Year

Parody Release of the Year

Performer Showcase of the Year

Pro-Am Release of the Year

Specialty Release of the Year

Transgender Director of the Year

Transgender Performer of the Year

Transgender Release of the Year

Vignette Release of the Year

Your Guide to Our 2016 Awards Season Coverage

Award Noms

We’ve done a giant link dump over the past week or two of AVN Awards and XBiz Awards nominees, so we figured we’d make one post that had links to all the other posts, so you could find them.

AVN Awards

XBiz Awards