Category: Movie Reviews

Tonight on Playboy Radio: Bad Girls 2 (1983)

Since I was operating under the impression that Debi was flying solo tonight — Nicki was away, but Dane Cross was in the studio — we decided to focus on one of her first movies — David I. Frazer‘s Bad Girls 2 from 1983… coincidentally, the year Dane was born.

There were really only 4 sex scenes — the Debi Diamond masturbation scene at the beginning of the movie is hardly long enough to qualify as a scene — spread out over an 81 minute running time.  What the film lacked in sex scenes, it made up in spirit.

The adjective I would use to describe the movie is breezy.  Svetlana and David Frazer’s movies were almost all just fun, happy romps with pretty people have good sex.

As Debi described:

I still will never forget one of my first movies, doing that out in Newhall [Calfornia] … and both David and Svetlana were out there, they were active, and they were running around, and they would wake us up in the morning, as we were staying at a small hotel out there…

The plot to this couldn’t be easier — Suzanna Brittan, a photographer, gets an assignment from Playpal to get some “nature shots” so she brings three cockteasing models — Debi Diamond (credited as Kaviar), Jacqeuline Lorians and Brooke Fields (credited as Blaire Castle) — to the sleepy hamlet of Boulder Creek (population 500) for some photo shoots and general mirth making.

There are a lot of shots of the girls prancing around the creeks in the area, looking beautiful.

There were sexy shots.  I remember they would set up all the sexy… the sun had to be flowing  through your dress while you were walking; they took the time to make those sexy little things happen. … I thought it was so  funny, and we were having so much fun, I just felt like we were having fun with friends and fucking at the same time.

But the girls created trouble with their sexy ways — generally by flashing the townsfolk (who really didn’t seem to get as much of a charge as seeing Jacqueline Lorians’ ass as I did…)

As the Jacqueline and Debi are photo-shooting, Brooke wanders out and finds fisherman Paul Baressi asleep in his boat.  She wakes him up and flirts mercilessly, having him teach her to fish by standing behind her and helping her hold the pole; and the whole time she’s rubbing her tits against his hands… and then she leaves; but not before he invites her to the local watering hole.

She shows up at the bar — where a real Country/Western band is playing and there are more than two patrons in the place, dancing — in fact, some of the extras are characters with stories and arcs – the jealous barkeep who doesn’t like how his girlfriend dresses, etc.  But Brooke finds Paul and they dance and he wants to move thing back to his place, but she wants to do it in front of all those people and tells him, “put your hands up my skirt and touch me! And if anyone sees, it’ll just turn ’em on more…”

As she goes to the bar, Debi and Jacqueline head to the movies to see Cinderella (“A Family Movie” the marquee states!) and there’s some kid working behind the candy counter who thinks he recognizes Jacqueline as the model on one of his posters, but she’s bending over … and she obliges just as the Sheriff comes in, catching her flashing her ass to the kid, and the Sheriff makes his Deputy (Ron Jeremy) arrest her for soliciting a minor (“Tiny!  Ricky’s 22 years old!”) and bring her to jail.  So, they have a great tease scene where he’s telling her all the things he wants to do to her, and she’s telling him all the things she wants him to do her, and eventually there’s fucking.

Ron: “Come on, just touch yourself a little — on top of the panties.  Do it for me.”

She does.  Tufts of public hair strain out from the sides of the panties; no one heard of bikini waxes yet…Jacqueline: “Would you like to lick it now?  We’d really like that.”  (We really like how she speaks of  her and her pussy in the first person plural voice….)So Ron takes off his hat and dives on in.

There’s lots of talking in the scene — in all of the scenes actually — the partners actually tell each other what they want.  “Grab my tits!  Make me your meat!”  She turns herself around and has him mount her doggie style, where she matches him thrust for thrust.  “FUCK ME DEEP!” she squeals and finally he cums right between her pretty awesome tits.

Poor Herschel Savage, the most Jewish southern farmer around — his wife (Honey Wilder) finds his dirty magazine stash and throws it out, complaining that he pays more attention to the magazine than to her.

He fights back by grabbing the magazine out of the trash and getting himself up into the hayloft, to settle down for a little self-abuse… but just by coincidence the magazine cover girl — Debi herself — shows up in the loft and fucks him silly in the hay, and then later hanging from the rafters (to get out of the hay).

I asked Debi about having sex in the hay (“gosh, it seems like just so much pinching and poking…”), and she replied:

Oh my god, it was the most horrible thing.  And not only was I fucking — didn’t I hang from these big rafters? Because I didn’t want to… I was like Herschel, you got this big cock, I want to fuck you, but this hay is driving me crazy.  It hurts so bad — once it pokes you once, you get swollen!

They fuck like crazy and Herschel gets busted as he and Debi are leaving, leaving Debi to run off while Honey Wilder lays into Herschel.

The girls run around town making more sexual mischief and they find themselves in jail again, where Ron instigates an orgy…  Ron pairs off with Debi, Jacqueline and Brooke go at it and Suzanne just writhes around on the bed, not even really touching herself…

The girls find themselves in front of the judge who find them … SPOILER ALERT, watch it yourself. :-)

The movie really struck me by the amount of non-sexual content and the scope of the film.  There were stunts – a guy gets distracted by the girls and drives a bulldozer through a fence; later on, he drives a taxi through a storefront… and lots of extras, and lots of dialogue.

This is a great couples flick, free of the modern day contrivances – we’ve got all natural girls (Jacqueline Lorains’ rack is really something to behold), natural hair colors (no bleach blondes here),  all natural bushes, and people having fun while having normal-person length sex (as opposed to today’s athletic display of stamina in a half-hour long pump-a-thons) … turn on the movie and you’re pretty much guaranteed to be in bed (or on the couch, boat, bus or RV)

The movie is available on DVD (new or used) or VOD or Download from vendors in our price search.

We also went on to talk a little bit about the other movie called Bad Girls 2 that Debi did for Vivid in 1994, tho we confused her pairing with Janine as being from #2 and not from Bad Girls 1 as it was…

And we’ll leave it with the first glimpse of Debi that we get in the movie — all legs, lounging on the couch, reading a magazine, on the cusp of playing with herself…

We’ll be back next week to talk about more classic porn.  Leave us some comments, let us know what you want us to talk about; or let us know how we’ve been doing.  As much as we love to hear ourselves talk, feedback is nice. :-)

Tonight on Playboy Radio: High School Memories

Tonight we spoke about Anthony Spinelli’s 1980 classic High School Memories.

I first saw this movie when I was in high school, and it quickly became one of my favorites; and re-watching it, 25 years later, it remains one of my favorites, but perhaps for different reasons.

Back then, it was due to the subject matter – the jocks on the bus banging all the cheerleaders; staying at a hotel in an away game and raising hell…  That’s every HS kid’s fantasy, right?

Now, tho, I like it both for the nostalgia that accompanies the watching of a favorite movie, but also for the perspective that being 42 brings to the movie, as opposed to 17.  The movie is framed by Annette Haven, in town for a reunion, telling Chris Hopkins (aka Diana Holt in what’s arguably her first role)  stories over drinks about high school… but Annette wasn’t a student there, rather, she was the faculty head of the cheerleaders.  She and  Coach Salinas (expertly played by Jamie Gillis) both banged students during one of the road trips which led to both of them losing their jobs.

Of course, Salinas shows up at the bar, and seems to be a changed man.

Salinas became a punchline among my friends back then — we’d often joke about his mannerisms, how he’d mutter dirty things under his breath (“how you would you like a fucking hard dick in your cunt?“) — and they’re just as amusing to me now (your mileage may vary).  (Looking at it now, the muttering actually seemed to be done in post-production, as the audio seems almost all dubbed.)

Annette’s scene with Steve Parks when she plays teacher (“I adore letter men; espcially 17 year old letter men.“) is so amazingly slow and seductive — “I don’t know what to do,” he says, and she stands, walks to the side of the bed, and reveals herself in a leotard and then shows him exactly what to do.  The music is soft and romantic, and they take their time, lots of kissing, and as he works his way down her body, she musses his hair and then just leans back, runs her fingers through her own hair, and just enjoys it as she lets him go to work…

But the increasing melancholy over how things turned out and what might have been are palpable — Annette really sells it in some of the bar scenes, so when (spoiler alert!) Annette and Jamie finally hook up at the end, there actually is some emotional pay-off.

Dorothy LeMay and Jamie Gillis

Other notable highlights –

  • John Leslie and Dorothy LeMay setting a very high bar in a very brief suck and fuck which ends with a hands free cumshot after LeMay drops his cock out of her mouth
  • Jamie Gillis‘ spasm after Chris Hopkins finishes blowing him
  • Jamie Gillis‘ Groucho Marx routine — while wearing a bathrobe that says “Head Coach” — before he bangs Dorothy LeMay — “Ms. Adams – when we’re travelling, you’re fucking somebody all the time.  Have you noticed? If it’s not Nunzio, it’s Jack; if it’s not Jack, it’s Al; if it’s not Al, it’s Nunzio.  So why don’t you fuck me, Ms. Adams?” to which she replies in my buddies’ oft-quoted way, “Coach Salinas!” and then as they finish up “Don’t you want to come on my face?” “What do you think I am? A fucking animal?” as he pulls out and cums on her panties.
  • The way Jamie pulls his cock away from Annette as she’s blowing him because he just can’t wait to fuck her… and the way she comfortably giggles after they climax.

 

Tonight on Playboy Radio: Talk Dirty to Me 2

I was a bit better prepared for Night Calls tonight.

After asking Debi how her ass was (the previous segment had her getting pinched by clothespins) we went into talking about Talk Dirty To Me 2.

This Tim McDonald film from 1982 is notable for being only marginally related to Anthony Spinelli‘s original Talk Dirty To Me.  Turns out there were rights issues, so Spinelli’s sequel is called Nothing To Hide and the producer’s sequel is Talk Dirty To Me 2.

This installment follows Jack (John Leslie) and Lenny (here played by Blair Harris) as they manage their local watering hole while the owner/barkeep goes away.  The barkeep has one of the great opening lines “Well, well.  Look who’s here… the ass bandit himself.”  (Note to self: check if assbandit is available as a vanity license plate)

In one of the few nods to the original, Jack calls the real estate lady (played by Aunt Peg in the original) looking for a new sublet, but he runs into (and ends up banging) her daughter, played by Nicole Black (a dead ringer for a 1970s Sarah Silverman).  They have a great scene, made greater by this little bit of action, described here by Brad in an old review from alt.sex.movies:

Nichole “seduces” Leslie and gives him a nice BJ. But the impressive part was while naked, sitting in a chair, legs parted and bent back with her feet about shoulder-height (sorry, trying this from memory and I can’t seem to find the right words), Leslie sits on the floor in front of her and proceeds to give her head; she *really* comes at least 3 times (body shuddering each time) and, on the 3rd time, manages to tilt her pelvis even further back, enlarging/stretching her vaginia even more open for Leslie to get at; it was impressive (and not an acrobatic-type move that I’ve seen since)!!

After their tryst, they sit on the couch eating crackers out of the box and watching uptight TV sex therapist Dr. Anne Childs (played by Bridgette Monet, but voiced by someone else entirely — her whole part was dubbed) and Leslie gets his idea for his next score.  He and Lenny crash her TV show and he spouts enough dirty talk before getting thrown out to get under her skin in a big way.

The scene in the studio really shows off the commitment to these movies, there’s a full studio audience of 20-25 people from all walks of life — not the crowd of tattoo’d twentysomethings that pass for a crowd of extras these days…

Bridgette fucks real-life hubby Dave Cannon (playing her show’s producer) but she’s pre-occupied with many other things other than his lovin’ as she’s on the phone during a chunk of their encounter… tho she does allow a generous bit of tit-fucking, ending with a pearl necklace.

There’s a few more scenes in there, but the one that stuck out for me as I was reviewing this movie today is Scene 6 (about 53 minutes into the film) between the bartender (anyone know her name?!?) and John Leslie.  It starts out with them fucking but he stops and just talks dirty as he fucks her mouth / jerks off around her neck somewhere.  Bridgette stumbles upon them and watches, getting increasingly turned on; but the thing that seems to push her over the edge is the way the bartender GRABS THE SIDE OF THE TABLE IN ECSTASY.  It’s amazing how long McDonald holds the shot of her tensed hand and intercuts with with Monet’s wanting face — it’s an scorching hot scene that ends in an off-camera pop shot.

 

The final pairing between Monet and Leslie is also pretty good, if for nothing else, the way it’s set up.  Jack knows he’s got her where he wants her, so he camps out in her bedroom waiting for her to come home (breaking and entering was never so sexy!) and he sits on the bed playing harmonica and grinning like the cat who gets to fuck the canary.

BONUS: Paul Thomas is a piano player at the bar singing “The Greatest Love of All” (later made famous by Whitney Houston) at about 73 minutes in.

We also spoke of John Leslie’s overall awesomeness and his ability to pop without even touching himself — he can fuck a girl, pull his cock out of her and just cum on her box unassisted.  Really impressive; especially considering we’re impressed in these modern times if the girl can jack the guy off to pop.

Imperator really summed up Leslie’s appeal in his 1995-6 review of Talk Dirty to Me:

In my book, a great male lead must have charm. There is nothing more annoying than seeing all those pretty ladies of porn pretending to swoon before Wayne Summers’, Tony Montana’s or -of course- Ron Jeremy’s “glory”. A -female- friend, annoyed at the large percentage of unappealing males in the biz, has hypothesized that this is being done on purpose, so that the viewer does not feel antagonized by an overly handsome actor. I don’t know whether this is true; personally, I resent the “long-haired rocker dude” type and the “sweaty, creepy Ron-like” one equally. Give me John Leslie or R.Bolla any day; these guys have personality.

Last thing that TDTM2 had — a theme song!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsW24GMN6Uc

Until next week, where we’ll talk some more about Little Oral Annie.

Tonight on Playboy Radio: Devil in Miss Jones 2

Made it back to the office just in time tonight to speak with Nicki and Debi about The Devil In Miss Jones II by Henri Pachard. THIS MOVIE IS AN ALL-TIME CLASSIC. All directors should watch this movie like Welles watched Stagecoach before attempting to direct a movie.

The flick starts out with Miss Jones (Georgina Spelvin) in Hell, hitching a ride on Cyrano’s nose — but being porn his nose is penis shaped. Sex is not forbidden in Hell, but orgasm is. Of course, Miss Jones is on the brink, and the bells and buzzers start going off warning the Devil and his staff of the impending bliss…

Hell’s minions — large penis helmeted guards — come running and carry Miss Jones off to see the devil himself, Jack Wrangler.

Jack is awesome. He’s a golden boy all the way, but man, he can act. So can R Bolla as his advocate. (Get it, the Devil’s Advocate?)

There is a tremendous amount of banter in this movie, all of it fast and all of it funny. I was laughing quite a lot during the flick. Couples films of today should use this as a pattern.

Miss Jones makes the Devil cum (a flaming special effect that should make Pachard proud) and in return, she gets to go back to earth for an eternity of lust. The rest of the film is spent between earth and Hell as the Devil tries to keep tabs on Miss Jones, as he is falling in love with her.

Much is made of King Edward who abdicated the throne of England, and parallels are make between he and Lucifer.

Ron Jeremy (in a brief autofellating role), Sharon Mitchell and others have small roles throughout the film playing hell’s denizens. R Bolla stumbles upon Ron fucking some young lass, he stops as if caught, and says “Don’t worry, boss, I won’t cum…”

Meanwhile, back on earth, Justine is thrown into the body of high priced call girl Jacqueline Lorains. YUMMY!

Highlight of her scenes is a great scene between her and a meek john, Bobby Astyr. Playing an older version of the nerd perfected by Eddie Deezen (think Eugene in Grease) he is kinda embarrassed by his fetish.

“Spanking?” she asks. “No, Miss Roxanne…” “Golden Showers?” “Oh no, Miss Roxanne…” “Dress up?” He smiles. “You promise you won’t laugh?”

“I’m a professional. Just give my 500 bucks and tell me your fantasy”

“500 bucks!” shouts the Devil, remembering that back in 1982, 500 bucks actually was a chunk of change.  Shit, it’s a chunk of change now.

Bobby Astyr comes out of the bathroom in his costume. He is dressed as the devil and has a Satan head french tickler on his cock. She is laughing hysterically, he is self-conscious, and the Devil is irked. A brilliant scene, worth the rental price alone.

The rest of the film has justine being popped from body to body, Private Benjamin (Joanna Storm – YUM!) (look for Pachard as her drill sergeant), tupperware saleslady, nun and finally back to call girl. All the while, she is watched by the smitten Jack Wrangler who is missing her more and more.

The movie ends with a great little scene between Joey Silvera and Jacqueline Lorains. All he wants is for her to say she loves him when he cums. It is an obsession of his, and she can’t quite bring herself to do it. She finally does, put then gets the feeling she’s being watched. She’s spooked and yells “Cyrano is that you?” Cyrano walks in, stoking himself, and then shooting flames as he cums.

“I abdicated” says Jack Wrangler. “I didn’t quit or resign, I abdicated.” Those lines are delivered with a truth rarely seen in adult films then or now.

On the Imperial scale, this gets a 4.00 It was made before 1984 so it’s not so rare, but MAN, run out and get this or watch it on VOD.

There isn’t any crazy stuff in it — not even any anal — but it is a movie that both entertains and arouses.

Tonight on Playboy Radio: Taboo II and the Golden Age of Porn

Had a great time tonight (2011 Aug 25) on Playboy Radio‘s Night Calls talking with Nicki Hunter and Debi Diamond about Kirdy Stevens‘ 1982 classic, Taboo II.

The movie stars Kevin James and Dorothy LeMay (even though they inexplicably put Tammy/Bambi on the box cover, LeMay is so much hotter.  Memo to self, find better headshot for Dorothy…) as brother and sister who after some trepidation live out that old adage “if you can’t keep it in your pants, keep it in the family.”

The story (story!!) picks up a little bit after Taboo, where we follow Mike Ranger’s girlfriend (Dorothy LeMay) as she and her brother, Junior (Kevin James), run into Mike’s mother (Kay Parker) at her stationary stop.  Running into her son’s ex-girlfriend sends her to her friend Aunt Peg, who gives her a massage.  Junior, knowing a fine piece of tail when he sees one, follows her over and ends up banging Kay and Aunt Peg right there on the massage table.  During the romp, it comes out that Kay slept with her son, and this gets Junior to reconsider what a hottie he has in his sister, and he sets out to tap it.

There is lots of tease and build up in Junior’s seduction of his sister and it climaxes with his girl friend (Tammy) eating his sister out on the family room couch when Junior just slides himself in there and takes over.  From there, the taboo has been broken, and we find everyone in the family torn apart by the action.

We also follow the action of Junior’s parents played by Eric Edwards and Honey Wilder.  They’re in a largely sexless marriage, so it’s only a matter of time before Dad boffs Daughter and Mom rides Junior.

And this being the end of the swinging 70s, the movie could not be considered complete without a giant suburban orgy where we have most of the cast list (including a young up and cummer named Ron Jeremy!)

Perhaps the most striking thing about the movie is the notion of consequences.  No one is living happily ever after in either of these movies, which is quite a difference from the normal “fuck and live to fuck some more” vibe that is in most porno.

We also spoke of The Golden Age.  Back in the late 90s, we covered it like this in the Adult Movie FAQ:

The following comes from Peter van Aarle’s excellent web page (mirrored at http://www.rame.net/aarle/golden_age.html) regarding the “Golden Age” of porn films.

Ah, the good old days, when the words “shot on video” were unheard of, and they actually had budgets to shoot an adult movie <sigh>

When the plot of a porno movie wasn’t limited to “Gee, I don’t seem to have the money to pay for the pizza! Now what do we do?” and the talent actually were sent the script in advance to learn their lines.

Heck they even were known to have occasional rehearsals :-)

Oh well, no use crying over things that once were. With the present glut of cheap product (over 2500 pornos were released in the US in 1994!) a good movie is difficult to make. That is to say, you can still make a good movie if you invest time and money in it, but a 4 times higher budget is unfortunately no guarantee for a 4 times higher return.

In fact, the only people who can change things are we the consumers. If we make sure that cheap one-day-wonders don’t make their producers much money then (and only then) is the general quality likely to improve. After all, why should Joe Producer invest a lot of time and effort in making a good product when producing crap lets him rake in the bucks anyway…

So we have the choice: either scour the shelves for hours to try and find the few pearls among today’s dreck or go back to those classics of yesteryear. If you want to try your luck with todays product (which isn’t all bad, really), I would suggest reading some of the reviews posted to the alt.sex.movies newsgroup to help distinguish between the good and the bad. Many of these reviews are archived at several sites.

“Ok”, you say “but what if I want some of those classics? How do I know what to look for?”
Well fear no more, here for your browsing pleasure is a list of many of the best porno movies ever made. Many of them are from the so-called Golden Age which is generally considered to have been from about 1977 to 1982.

Which isn’t to say that there have not been some good movies made before or since that time, nor that there weren’t some awful ones produced during the period, it’s just that so many of the classics were made during that period…

So look at these lists of the true Classics, some very good movies, and some movies which may not stand up to our high standards today but which are nonetheless historically significant.

Revered and greatly missed adult reviewer Imperator had this to say about the epochs of porn:

A note on the Ages according to Me. Note that like all historical divisions these are approximate :-). –

  • The Golden Age is 1976-1984. I have slightly extended it from the traditional 1977-1982 to include “Misty B.” and the many excellent movies of 1984. The Golden Age ends with the retirement of Annie and the rise of Ginger (not that it was Ginger’s fault of course :-)). The fringe period is great fun, since it includes the first Angel & Ginger flicks and Bridgette Monet.
  • The Silver Age (my real sentimental favourite) should strictly be 1984-1986, i.e. up to the retirement of Ginger and Traci, but 1987-1989 had many nice movies with essentially the same stars as 1984-1986, so I’ll include 1988.
  • The period 1988-1995 can be divided and named in many ways. A friend calls it the Cheapskate Age or the Crap Age, but it is innaccurate since it ignores Leslie & Stagliano.
  • The term “Silicone Age” only applies to post 1992 IMHO.
  • The term Neon or Pretentious Age for 1989-1992 does include most of Blake, but it really disregards the rest of the crap… I mean the material :-).  So, my opinion is that the traditional apellation of “Iron Age” is the best and safest.
It looks like the Playboy Radio segment is going to be a standing gig on Thursday nights around 8:30 Eastern / 5:30 Pacific. See you next week.