Review: Wet Titty T-Shirt Telethon (2013)

It’s been a while since we reviewed anything, but Wet Titty T-Shirt Telethon came across the screen this morning via and it stars three of my current faves – Ashley Graham, Alex Chance and Noelle Easton  — who are trying their best to resuscitate Danny D who has fallen into a coma of sorts after rescuing… someone.  Who could focus with those mounds of God-given flesh prancing about?  The girls appear on a telethon as an incentive to donate and three extras answer the phones (can anyone tell us who they are? Unknown Female 288232-A, Unknown Male 288232-B and Unknown Male 288232-C) while our host, played in a most entertaining manner by Unknown Male 286304 (D.D. Cola? he introduces himself as…), tries to get the phones to ring while narrating the action.


It seems the girls are going soak their giant racks as incentive to call.  For my money, they got their T-Shirts a bit too wet a bit too soon, there wasn’t ample time to tease; it was just “IT’S WET T-SHIRT TIME AGAIN!” (cue Frank Zappa) but really, the girls are bouncing and doing all the things you want three pairs of natural tits to do in clinky damp cotton, and all is more or less right in the world.

Danny wakes up enough to aim a super-soaker at the girls and get them jumping around.


There’s great slo-mo action of the girls playing with water balloons between their balloons (seriously, someone stop me with these puns!) and the girls move in for some three-way tonsil hockey.  Then the shirts come off and Danny gets himself out of the wheelchair and his erect pecker leads the way.

Long story short (almost 13 minutes in!) they start gobbling his knob in short order, and the banging can commence.

Noelle starts making out with him as Ashley is the first one to blow him.  As an aside, his dick is really huge.  Ash can have the tip in her mouth and Alex can be working his balls, and there’s no chance they’re going to bonk heads.

There’s lots of focus on breast play here, which we should expect from a site called BabyGotBoobs, but I digress…

No one is ever standing around waiting for some action, the director (Brando? Why don’t sites credit their directors!!?!) makes sure that everyone has something to do.  So while one girl is getting banged, the other two are either making out with each other, eating each other out, or otherwise involved in the action.

The rest of the scene unfolds in a pleasing way, with Ashley squirting a few times via Danny’d dicking for good measure.  Ashley is sporting a natural bush, while the other two are hairless.

There’s good variety in positions and pairings.  All the girls smile a lot and seem to be enjoying their time at work.  Ashley, who has a great rack, is a little outclassed in the size dept. by Alex and Noelle; their tits envelop Danny’s manhood, while hers can’t quite wrap around him the whole way.

There’s the obligatory three girls bend over a table while Danny works his way down, taking each in a standing doggie position; but even then, when the girls are waiting their turn, they’re kissing each other or Danny, and keeping themselves involved.  Ashley and Alex have some great (perhaps distracting, even) kissing while Danny bones Noelle from behind.

They wrap up with all three girls kneeling in front of Danny as he jerks himself off over their faces, and the movie ends with Danny thanking us for the telethon, the girls are bouncing and jumping again, and we’re left with a smile on our face.

The three actresses are favorites of mine because they’re all come across as pretty genuine and natural onscreen.  Physically, Alex and Noelle aren’t stick thin; but, let’s face it, that’s why they got the big chesticles, and that’s why I like them.  They’re real gals; they’re not put together by doctors. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that… well, maybe a little… but I shouldn’t judge…) Ashley is the most toned of the three, but she still looks like she belongs at a site called BabyGotBoobs; plus I think she’d totally fit in walking around town, wearing yoga pants and driving all the Dads wild as they take the kids for FroYo.

You can do a lot worse than this scene; and Brazzers offers a “2 Days – 1 Dollar” trial, so you can grab this scene and look around before committing.

More deep throating please!

We’re big fans of the deep throat around these parts, having been indoctrinated by Little Oral Annie in the mid-80s.

I’ve got deep throat on the brain since I re-watched Little Oral Annie Takes Manhattan last night to clear up some issues in the scene breakdowns and the movie does a good job at showing off LOA’s DT skills.  Between each scene, she blows a different guy against a colored background.  She’s got some great technique where she wraps her lips around her teeth, gobbles the rod and then snakes her tongue out at the end.  Really great… and as an added bonus, no gagging!  The sex scenes in LOATM are all pretty good — lots of mid-80s staples like public hair. :-)

Fast forward to July 2011 and the practice is still with us — this time the lovely Sarah Vandella really swallows Johnny Sins all the way down to the root in her recent scene for Baby Got Boobs (part of the Brazzers network): Switchblade Slut.  (You can see her sword swallowing talents in the trailer.)  She does gag unnecessarily just a little, but I suppose that’s part of the modern porn aesthetic.  (It’s blatantly obvious she can take him all the way down to the root without effort, yet we still have to pretend for a few moments that she’s struggling.  Why? It’s a point off against an otherwise very good scene.)

The scene is a slightly awkward mix of 1950s costumes and music and attitude tainted with modern day surroundings (power windows in the modern cars).  However, Brazzers does deserve credit for their set ups and their willingness to finish the scenario even after the sex is over. Where Naughty America generally just fades out immediately after the pop, Brazzers lets their vignette end.

The sex is spirited throughout — Sarah is a good dirty talker and not afraid to ask for what she wants — and the scene ends with a nice POV BJ and pop and swallow with a final deep throat for good measure.  Oh!  The best Best BEST part?  She finishes him off!  Johnny doesn’t have to jerk it onto her waiting tongue!  Bravo Johnny!! Viva la Sarah Vandella and her mad deep throating skillz!

Images from Switchblade Slut, courtesy of  Baby Got Boobs