Today on Radio Sex: Let’s Get Physical (1983)

Let-s-Get-PhysicalToday on Radio Sex XM103 at 2:40 PM Eastern-ish, we’ll be talking about Bob Chinn‘s 1983 feature, Let’s Get Physical, written by and starring one of today’s guests, Hyapatia Lee.

The movie is simple – Hyapatia Lee and Paul Thomas are married.  PT is a renowned ballet dancer, and Hyapatia is a jazz/rock dancer.

The movie opens with PT leaving the ballet stage, roses in hand.  He goes back to his dressing room where Hyapatia awaits, and he proposes a little hanky panky, but she demurs, worried there are too many people around.

So a gaggle of dancers come in to pay their respects, and one, Martina, stays behind and lets PT fuck her instead.  It’s a pretty quick shag, a blowjob and a missionary fuck where PT cums on her bush.  Unfortunately, Hyapatia sees the tryst and cries on the ride all the way home… well, they never make it home because her bawling distracts PT and he drives their car off a cliff, crippling him and ending his dancing career.

There’s tension at home since he blames Hyapatia for the accident and he knows he can never turn her into a ballerina, which suits her fine, since she’s a rock/jazz dancer!  He was hoping to give her name to a theatrical producer as a choreographer, but he’s not sure she can do it since she’s not a ballerina.

Cut to the dance studio and Hyapatia shows off her talents as a dancer (and I assume choreographer) with a 5 minute routine to something that sounds eerily like Michael Jackson’s “Beat It.”

She goes back home and tried to make love with PT, but he lost the “ability to make love when I lost my ability to dance.”  Welcome to the pity party, Hyapatia!!

She returns to the studio to teach novice ballerina, Shanna McCullough.  Shanna has always been one of my favorites, and I came to know her a little later in her career.  This is her at the very beginning, 23 years old, and she looks awesome in her leotard, stretching on the barre.

Of course, we need to learn the dance of love, and she an Hyapatia do a little floor dancing and rug munching; but what do you know — PT’s cock gets hard watching his wife and her student roll around the dance floor in their birthday suits.  (I mean, who wouldn’t, really….).

Later on, at home, PT mentions to Hyapatia that he watched her “lesson” and it got him rock hard – the first time since the accident.  He sets up a meeting with Shanna at the studio and later invites her over for dinner.  They retire to the bedroom so he can ostensibly look at Shanna’s “form” but it’s all just pretense for fucking someone other than his wife.  There’s some good tandem cocksucking, but he ends up fucking Shanna and ignoring Hyapatia who looks forlornly at the ceiling while her voiceover laments that she’s out in the cold while he fucks his “prima ballerina.”  All Hyapatia wants is to be with her husband, and all he wants is to be with a ballerina.

She slips into a fantasy sequence , a nice enough early 80s piano ballad (“Ballerina Dance For Me”) plays and PT is at a piano miming to it and she’s topless next to him, but then Shanna comes in and stays with PT, and this is the weirdest most bummer fantasy ever… until she dances into the studio and into the arms of Mike Horner and they hump, er, make love, on a mattress on the floor.  Lots of kissing and satisfying the female needs.  He nails her in missionary then she does her best to deep throat him and she jerks a HUGE cumshot out of him which manages to miss her face, but its am impressive geyser nonetheless, and she cleans off his cock when he’s done and they kiss and transition back to her own real hell of PT fucking Shanna sidesaddle and she jerks him off on her bush.

Another stellar performance by the ballet troupe – Mike HornerShanna McCullough, Erica Boyer and Francois – and they all congratulate each other in the dressing room. Hyapatia gives them all a hug and then PT comes in and tells them they were better than he ever expected (gee, thanks, PT) and they should get out to meet the scouts from the NYC Ballet.  PT then kisses Hyapatia’s ass a little and complements her choreography.  PT suggests they bang in the dressing room, and this time, she says she’d love to!  Cue the “Beat It-esque” music and she blows him, and afterwards he takes her doggy style during which we’re to believe he cums inside her.  (They are married after all…)

Now Francois is doing some rock dance in the studio and Erica Boyer stumbles onto him and is amazed that he can dance in such a modern way.  And then he shows her how he can dance the dance as old as time.  She licks her way down his chest and swallows his dick until he cums all over her face… but out boy “has one more in him” and fucks her on the floor , blowing a second wad on her belly.  Nicely done, sir!

There’s a party for Shanna and Mike who have earned spots in the NYC Ballet.  Shanna is now mooneyed for Mike and they leave for NYC.  PT then tells Hyapatia that she got the choreographer gig and they all live happily ever after.

Bob Chinn makes enjoyable movies.  This is what we would today call “A Couples Film” as it’s very much told from a woman’s point of view; a woman who is not happy about her wayward husband, but sticks by him in an attempt to work it out… or maybe just to get choreography job.. I’m not quite sure. :-)

Imperator gave this movie a 2.45 in this very brief review:

This one has a stellar cast indeed: Hyapatia Lee (woof), Shanna McCullough(hooowwwwwl), Erica Boyer, Paul Thomas and Mike Horner. It is a cute effort but a bit too much concerned with the weak plot, with the result that the sex scenes are not what they could well be. The Imperial verdict is: waste of resources. Neither Hyapatia, nor Shanna are used well; the threesome with PT is particularly disappointing. Still, it is a very decent flick, certainly superior to what we get nowadays (I must have said this phrase five times in this post :-) Must be true!).

Rating: 2.45

I think it’s a bit better than his rating of  “rent only if you are an ardent fan of the particular star/genre featured” and would put it in the “good rental” category.  At 78 minutes long, if you’re planning on watching the whole thing you’re going to want to go for the 2 day rental over at Adult DVD Empire which will only set you back $4 as opposed to paying per minute which will set you back around $6.

This is one to watch with your partner who isn’t sure about porn; it’s nice and easy, nothing crazy; all the performers are attractive and not creepy, it’s competently made… it holds up as a good example of early 80s adult filmmaking.