A Sad Day in NYC: The Boob Bounce House Was Closed

2014-07-19 15.40.39

Had a couple of hours to kill in NYC yesterday, so Cuddly Wombat suggested I go see the Bounce House of Boobs over at The Museum of Sex.  I had only been to the museum once before, to see a panel of the Club 90 girls discuss their time in the industry, and I didn’t get a chance to walk around it much; plus, since it’s a museum, its exhibits rotate. So I figured it’d be a good time to visit.

The bounce house got a lot of press because of its absurdity and because (let’s face it) boobs — NY Magazine wrote Adventures Inside the Big-Boob Bounce House which is how I first heard of the Funland exhibit — but there were also exhibits on The Sex Lives of Animals and The Eve of Porn: Linda Lovelace, at least one which interested me.

Street level is the gift shop which is the highest end of sex-positive toy stores – lots of vibrators and condoms and books and cum rags (only $10!).

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I wasn’t sure what kind of crowd the place would attract on a Saturday afternoon in the summer, and it was a broad cross section of people – lots of young people , some older couples, and me – a middle-aged white guy in shorts walking around solo.  Happily, I did not read the vibe as creepy, which was my concern as I was waiting to buy my ticket in line with a bunch of couples or groups.

$17.95 + tax gets you access to the museum; their website currently has a coupon (thru Sept 3, 2014) for $3 off admission if you give them your email address.

You walk up the stairs, and the second floor gallery covers the Linda Lovelace exhibit.  Say what you will about Linda, she was a pioneer in how the industry was perceived — both good and (later) bad.  The walls are covered with some very attractive nudes of her shot by Milton Greene which are simply gorgeous in their printing, matting and framing.  The back wall is covered by a video projection showing the climax (literally) of Deep Throat.  (One older couple is looking at the pictures on the wall, and a guy’s wife is hitting him, saying “Larry!  Avert your eyes! Look at the pictures!”)  The design of the space is minimalist – large white room with black hand-lettering interspersed with large typeset signs. These signs around the space give a history of Linda’s time in the industry.

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The exhibit doesn’t shy away from any parts – a series of monitors along one wall detail various episodes of her life – biographer Eric Danville’s interviews of her which led to her appearing in a series of cheesecake shots for Leg Show in January 2001; I was surprised to see Legs McNeil’s interview with Eric Edwards as an way to cover Linda’s appearance in Dog Fucker.  A wall of porno playing cards featuring Linda and husband/manager/abuser Chuck Traynor were displayed as well.


It didn’t take a long time to peruse the exhibit, but it was a good, broad overview of her career, subsequent dismissal of it, and her brief return to it; and it was well designed.

The next floor up had the other two exhibits – Funland and The Sex Lives of Animals.

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The Sex Lives of Animals is a very detailed look at how other species have relations – from asexual reproduction to the bonobo chimps trading sugar cane for sex.  There’s a LOT of text on the walls, and there are pretty cool sculptures around the space of various animals fucking each other.  (The sculpture of the bonobo monkey with his huge thin boner and two fistfuls of sugar cane is a sight to behold.)

From there – the reason for my journey – Funland, and its big bounce house of boobs.

But first, we have to pass the climbing wall, where everything you’re gripping is anatomical:

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Then through a mirror maze to find the G-Spot (kind of fun, actually) then past a little carnival midway where there’s a peep show of old carny porn and a midway game where you have to roll a ball into a hole to make your silver plated cock race:

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And then finally, tucked away in the corner is the bounce house.

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Wait, what?  The bounce house is closed??!? AAAAAAUUUUUGH!

Turns out the exhibit wasn’t quite holding up to the rigors of a full time installation, so they were deflating it to install a new one, so it was going to be out of commission until the 21st of July… but we were allowed to take some pictures inside which my phone just couldn’t process that well:

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And with that, I made my way back out of the museum and out onto Fifth Avenue where I snapped the picture everyone in the world snaps – the Flatiron Building – and headed crosstown to grab some grub to take home from Daisy May’s BBQ.  (You should really go to there if you like meat.)

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Ask the IAFD: Who are the most prolific white female interracial performers?

So, we were asked for a list of the most prolific white pornstars who did interracial, which is to say have been tagged in the database as having done an IR scene, and this is what the database spit out, ignoring compilations and casual racism.

We ran the numbers two ways – one by sheer number of movies, and another by percentages. So, sure, India Summer looks impressive with 118 titles to her credit, but out of 567 titles, it’s only a 20.8 Career IR Average Percentage (CIRA). So, there’s two lists towards the bottom which looks at performers who made as many movies as Kaylynn (#20 on our list)…

And then, I grabbed the people who are currently performing to find out our current CIRA leaders…

India Summer
Active: 2005-2014
IR Titles: 118
Kelly Divine
Active: 2007-2014
IR Titles: 101
Katja Kassin
Active: 2003-2014
IR Titles: 100
Trina Michaels
Active: 2004-2014
IR Titles: 94
Gianna Michaels
Active: 2004-2013
IR Titles: 93
Sophie Dee
Active: 2005-2014
IR Titles: 93
Kelly Wells
Active: 2004-2013
IR Titles: 92
Sara Jay
Active: 2001-2014
IR Titles: 90
Chelsie Rae
Active: 2005-2014
IR Titles: 87
Dana DeArmond
Active: 2005-2014
IR Titles: 84
Flower Tucci
Active: 1999-2013
IR Titles: 83
Janet Mason
Active: 2000-2014
IR Titles: 83
Nina Hartley
Active: 1984-2014
IR Titles: 79
Bobbi Starr
Active: 2006-2014
IR Titles: 79
Sara Swirls
Active: 2007-2007
IR Titles: 78
Eva Angelina
Active: 2003-2014
IR Titles: 78
Amber Rayne
Active: 2005-2014
IR Titles: 77
Luscious Lopez
Active: 2004-2014
IR Titles: 74
Sandra Romain
Active: 2000-2014
IR Titles: 71
Kaylynn
Active: 1998-2014
IR Titles: 70
But, that takes sheer numbers into account. What if we looked at career ratios for performers who made more than 70 movies – Kaylynn’s total IR titles — the list shifts dramatically:
Sara Swirls
Active: 2007-2007
IR Titles: 80 out of 82 (97.561% Career IR AVG)
Krystal Jordan
Active: 2006-2009
IR Titles: 43 out of 89 (48.3146% Career IR AVG)
Austin Taylor
Active: 2008-2014
IR Titles: 46 out of 104 (44.2308% Career IR AVG)
Janet Mason
Active: 2000-2014
IR Titles: 86 out of 217 (39.6313% Career IR AVG)
Kylie G. Worthy
Active: 2005-2014
IR Titles: 46 out of 119 (38.6555% Career IR AVG)
Megan Monroe
Active: 2007-2014
IR Titles: 35 out of 92 (38.0435% Career IR AVG)
Alexa Lynn
Active: 2005-2011
IR Titles: 40 out of 106 (37.7358% Career IR AVG)
Shawnie
Active: 2003-2009
IR Titles: 26 out of 72 (36.1111% Career IR AVG)
Daryn Darby
Active: 2005-2010
IR Titles: 31 out of 87 (35.6322% Career IR AVG)
Trisha Rey
Active: 2005-2013
IR Titles: 39 out of 111 (35.1351% Career IR AVG)
Kelly Divine
Active: 2007-2014
IR Titles: 111 out of 317 (35.0158% Career IR AVG)
Lain Oi
Active: 2004-2008
IR Titles: 31 out of 89 (34.8315% Career IR AVG)
Chelsie Rae
Active: 2005-2014
IR Titles: 96 out of 283 (33.9223% Career IR AVG)
Aline
Active: 2004-2014
IR Titles: 63 out of 187 (33.6898% Career IR AVG)
Brooke Scott
Active: 2006-2013
IR Titles: 32 out of 95 (33.6842% Career IR AVG)
Andi Anderson
Active: 2007-2012
IR Titles: 45 out of 135 (33.3333% Career IR AVG)
Velicity Von
Active: 2005-2012
IR Titles: 57 out of 175 (32.5714% Career IR AVG)
Mysti May
Active: 2005-2013
IR Titles: 44 out of 138 (31.8841% Career IR AVG)
Trinity Post
Active: 2004-2014
IR Titles: 72 out of 229 (31.441% Career IR AVG)
Kirra Lynne
Active: 2008-2014
IR Titles: 40 out of 128 (31.25% Career IR AVG)
And we might as well look at the performers who are currently active:
Austin Taylor
Active: 2008-2014
IR Titles: 46 out of 104 (44.2308% Career IR AVG)
Janet Mason
Active: 2000-2014
IR Titles: 86 out of 217 (39.6313% Career IR AVG)
Kylie G. Worthy
Active: 2005-2014
IR Titles: 46 out of 119 (38.6555% Career IR AVG)
Megan Monroe
Active: 2007-2014
IR Titles: 35 out of 92 (38.0435% Career IR AVG)
Kelly Divine
Active: 2007-2014
IR Titles: 111 out of 317 (35.0158% Career IR AVG)
Chelsie Rae
Active: 2005-2014
IR Titles: 96 out of 283 (33.9223% Career IR AVG)
Aline
Active: 2004-2014
IR Titles: 63 out of 187 (33.6898% Career IR AVG)
Trinity Post
Active: 2004-2014
IR Titles: 72 out of 229 (31.441% Career IR AVG)
Kirra Lynne
Active: 2008-2014
IR Titles: 40 out of 128 (31.25% Career IR AVG)
Katie Cummings
Active: 2008-2014
IR Titles: 26 out of 85 (30.5882% Career IR AVG)
Sara Jay
Active: 2001-2014
IR Titles: 94 out of 321 (29.2835% Career IR AVG)
Kendra Secrets
Active: 2007-2014
IR Titles: 48 out of 168 (28.5714% Career IR AVG)
Emma Heart
Active: 2007-2014
IR Titles: 56 out of 202 (27.7228% Career IR AVG)
Bailey Brooks
Active: 2007-2014
IR Titles: 29 out of 106 (27.3585% Career IR AVG)
Naomi Cruise
Active: 2006-2014
IR Titles: 28 out of 103 (27.1845% Career IR AVG)
Joslyn James
Active: 2007-2014
IR Titles: 23 out of 86 (26.7442% Career IR AVG)
Katie Kox
Active: 2009-2014
IR Titles: 31 out of 116 (26.7241% Career IR AVG)
Ricki White
Active: 2006-2014
IR Titles: 46 out of 178 (25.8427% Career IR AVG)
Jacky Joy
Active: 2006-2014
IR Titles: 31 out of 120 (25.8333% Career IR AVG)
Jada Stevens
Active: 2008-2014
IR Titles: 56 out of 217 (25.8065% Career IR AVG)

On Advertising

We don’t talk much about the site because we don’t think it’s all that interesting how we make the sausage.  We watch movies, we write down who’s in them, and we lather, rinse and repeat.  We’ve been doing it since 1999; hey! we’re 15 years old this year!  For some of that time, we’ve relied on banners and purchases thru the “Buy this Movie” links to help keep the lights on.  But, DVD sales are diminishing, the web stuff we do list is converting OK but not great, and the banner advertisers are slowing down, so we took a look at what we could do.

We could add more ad zones to the pages, but we didn’t want to clutter things up; we like our minimalist look.  (We’ve had it forever!)

Then, one of our advertisers approached us about piloting silent pop-unders — they had to be silent or we didn’t want them — and we agreed to give it a try.

So, from today thru May 4 (and possibly beyond) our ad network partner, GrandSlamMedia, is showing pop-unders on our site at a rate of approximately 1 popunder for every 24 pageviews.

We know the last time we tried non-banner advertising (the chat windows) it was met with mixed reactions, and we expect the same here.

We also know that ad blocking software exists, and if these sort of advertisements really really upset you, you might want to look into that sort of thing.  We ask that you don’t, obviously, as we get paid by the impression (each time they show an ad, we get a tiny tiny bit of money; but eventually those tiny tiny bits add up) but if you do, we understand… maybe we’ll find that there’s a market for an ad-free version of the site; tho such a thing would require us to build an infrastructure to handle users and passwords and password resetting and lots of potential customer service issues… but who knows.  We know that the time has come for us to grow and mutate and make changes and I’ve been busy programming trying to roll out new tools for our editors, and different table layouts in the database and all kinds of things, so thanks for sticking around.

Some Guys Saved Some 35MM Pornos, And What Happened Next Will Blow Your Mind

filmnoirIt’ll blow your mind if you’re a caveman and have no sense of the obvious. :-)

Inaugurated in December, Anthology Film Archives’ groundbreaking new series IN THE FLESH continues in March with a quartet of films exploring the darker side of the classic adult film genre, featuring tough-talking private eyes, deviant rapists, shadowy blackmailers, and existential crises.

Throughout the 1970s, adventurous adult film directors paid homage to their favorite film noirs with updated X-rated versions of classics like LAURA (1944) and SUNSET BOULEVARD (1950). The sexual tension created between noir anti-heroes and seductive femmes fatales could now be embellished and visualized, to the delight of both the raincoat crowd and cultured moviegoers. In addition to creating porno variants of acknowledged film classics, filmmakers began to step outside of established boundaries and challenge audience expectations. Dark and disturbing features assaulted viewers with increasing levels of violence, degradation, and horror. This decadent debauchery created a new form of noir within the genre, often referred to as ‘roughies’. Experimentation in the dark and the mysterious continued into the 1980s, before video rendered film and its genre artistry practically obsolete. AFA is proud to present four unique and compelling examples of ‘porn noir’, emerging from the shadows to provide you with a rare opportunity to see them theatrically, as they were intended to be seen.

All four one-time-only screenings will be from 35mm prints and presented by special guests who will provide revealing glimpses into the making of the films as well as the general adult film ‘Golden Age’ in New York. Guests for this series include adult filmmaker extraordinaire Larry Revene, adult film superstar Kelly Nichols, and other surprise appearances!

Curated by Casey Scott. Special thanks to Steven Morowitz (Distribpix) and Joe Rubin (Vinegar Syndrome). A very special thank you to Larry Revene for his continued support of this series.

March 27 8PM: Armand Weston‘s EXPOSE ME LOVELY (1976)

March 28 8PM: Bob Gill‘s THE DOUBLE EXPOSURE OF HOLLY (1976)

March 29 8PM: Victor Milt‘s SEX WISH (1976)

March 30 8PM: Roger WatkinsCORRUPTION (1983)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HCtiYrJKas

 

I Didn’t Think Sex in Cars Could Be Funny, but My Mind Was Blown After Seeing This

I’m pondering writing all my blog posts like breathless Upworthy headlines.  (I fucking HATE Upworthy.)

On the other hand, I fucking LOVE Jerry Seinfeld’s Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee which I think is a great idea for a web series, and really what the web is kind of meant to do, I think.  It gives creatives the opportunity to do something lower-budget with lower stakes, and just let them have fun doing what they do best.  I’m a big fan of the casual interview between colleagues since it has the potential to strip down the artifice that usually surrounds talk show appearances, so the show is right in my sweet spot.

(My favorites, in vague order of preference: Alec Baldwin, Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner, Ricky Gervais, Louis C.K., and Patton Oswalt.  This is not to say the others are bad, but these I really liked and have actually rewatched.)

comediansSo, I was really tickled to see Lee Roy Meyers and Nate Liquor over at WoodRocket come up with Comedians in Cars Getting Sex, starring James Deen (reprising his role as Seinfeld from Meyers’ other Seinfeld parodies) and recent favorite Veruca James as Sarah Silverman.

There’s lots of good stuff over at the WoodRocket site, tho I’d hope for a bit more organization.  I was looking for a blog post or something that announced this video, but it seems like it just dropped into their video section with little fanfare.

However, what they lack on their own site, they seem to have gotten Splitsider’s attention, so they got that going for them.

Lee Roy and Nate really really nail the tone of the show, with the jaunty jazz, the fetishistic shots of the vehicle, the well-observed mannerism of Jerry throwing his head back and silently laughing while he drives.

After about three and half minutes of hit-and-miss banter between Seinfeld and Silverman, we cut to the backseat of the extended cab where James and Veruca get down to business.

There’s a couple minutes of heavy breathing and dry humping and giggling which is nice, before Veruca’s pants come off and James chows down.  Not a lot of overly porny moaning; just a lot of smiles, eye contact and happy sounds as he buries himself in her ladybits.

the greatest thing about the scene is how they interact with each other.  It’s not a faceless cock pounding into an anonymous pussy.  It’s two people having a bunch of fun in the back of a truck; which makes it a bunch of fun to watch.

They miss an opportunity for Veruca to wrap James’ rascal, leaving him to do it before he plunges into her doggy style.  There’s some neck-on-throat, if that’s your thing (or be aware, if it’s not…)

They’re able to get into a bunch of sweaty positions before they end up in reverse cowgirl with James’ pulling out and off to cum on her bush.  She orally cleans him up afterward.  Fade to black.

There are much worse ways to spend 25 minutes. If you’re a fan of any of these folks, you owe it to yourself to check this out.

 


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