Video Review: #McChicken

#mcchickenRegular readers of this blog might wonder what all the fuss is about; it’s not like you’ve never seen food play before — but every blog in the world is warning you to NOT CLICK ON THE LINK, and every other blog is now making REACTION VIDEOS, so we’ve clicked on the link, and here’s what you get.

TITLE: #MCCHICKEN
DIRECTOR: No Director Credited
LENGTH: 17 seconds

PLOT: A fast food sandwich is used as a masturbation aid.

SEXUAL ACTION: A large black dick is seen penetrating a bun.  There is no indication that a chicken patty is involved; nor can any lettuce or cheese be seen.  The mayo does make for a nice lubricating sluice.

CAMERAWORK: A single handheld shot, typical of the POV genre.

SET DECOR: A simple red bedspread dominates the shot which contrasts nicely with the ebony penis and slushy white mayo coating it.

CLIMAX: None.  Like most things on social media – it’s a looping clip with much hoopla and no payoff.

VERDICT: If you’ve never seen porn before, you’ll be SHOCKED.  Otherwise, been there, and you might have done that…

Missy Martinez: “I try to make people chuckle in between the masturbation and misery.”

Missy Martinez

There are girls with a great sense of humor, and then there’s Missy Martinez, who would give Kristen Wiig a run for her money, and probably make Amy Schumer blush. Self deprecating, sarcastic, downright filthy, and being a total cornball are all in Missy’s comedic repertoire. She is freaking hilarious, but that’s not her only great attribute.

Never mind the fact that she’s a college graduate and a total brainiac who could make someone with above average intelligence feel like a simpleton if she felt like it. Forget about how she’s a well known video game nerd, who hanging out would be like hanging out with one of the guys, one of the really cool guys technically, but with one big exception….. Ain’t no guys you’re hanging out with that look like this!!! Missy Martinez is smokin’ hot!!! Ask her of course, and she’ll tell you there are two BIG exceptions, both of which are located on her chest.

As her well over 100 credits on IAFD can attest, big boobs alone haven’t allowed Missy this much career longevity though. She is  well rounded in her sexual prowess to say the least, and well rounded in every other aspect as well. In my opinion, she’s one of the coolest, most impressive, and all around fun ladies around.

Missy Martinez in Brazzers' 'Not Another Happy Ending'
Missy Martinez in Brazzers‘Not Another Happy Ending’

 

Gabriel Lan: Your ‘motivational’ tweets on Twitter never fail to entertain, and they’re just one of the many reasons you were named IAFD’s Spank Bank Award winner of the ‘Tweeting Twat of the Year’. Where do you come up with some of this stuff??? LoL

Missy Martinez: My mind is a dark, scary place. Like my vagina. Twitter has given me access to ruining everyone’s day.

Gabriel Lan: You have a GREAT sense of humor. (Haha) Twisted, of course, but GREAT nonetheless. To what do you attribute your comedic timing, delivery, and sense of humor in general?

Missy Martinez: Thank you! Life is shitty and then we die. I try to make people chuckle in between the masturbation and misery.

Gabriel Lan: My dad always said, “If you can’t take a joke, fuck ya….”. I would assume you abide by this ideal as well LoL. I mean, if you can’t laugh at yourself, right?

Missy Martinez: Either EVERYTHING is funny or NOTHING is funny. There is no such thing as “too soon” or “off limits”. I poke fun at sensitive issues/events because that’s how I deal with stress/tragedy and life in general. If people are looking to me to be a “moral compass”, that compass will lead you straight to hell.

Missy Martinez in Devils Film's 'Whornitas 3'
Missy Martinez in Devils Film’s ‘Whornitas 3’

Gabriel Lan: Have you ever done standup comedy? I’d imagine you would be great at it.

Missy Martinez: I’ve done standup comedy many times at The Comedy Store. Comedian Brian Redban encouraged me to pursue comedy and give it a shot. He’s my “Comedy Yoda”. I just need to drag my tits back up on stage.

Gabriel Lan: There’s something I saw you mention recently, and I wasn’t sure if you were just horsing around…. You said that you don’t speak very much Spanish? Is that true??? Where did you grow up?

Missy Martinez: I speak less Spanish than Donald Trump. I grew up in SoCal, my dad is brown and my mom is white. I enjoy hot sauce.

Gabriel Lan: What was ‘Missy Martinez’ like before she became the porn super star she is today?

Missy Martinez: I could never keep clothes on as a kid and had to be the center of attention. It was only a matter of time.

Missy Martinez in DDF Network's 'Busty Barnyard'
Missy Martinez in DDF Network’s ‘Busty Barnyard – Two Lesbian Bombshells Cram Their Twats’

Gabriel Lan: You’re actually a college graduate though, correct? What was your major and what do you have a degree in?

Missy Martinez: I have my degree in Criminal Justice with an emphasis on Biology. I’m trained to perform autopsies. I just deal with different “stiffs” right now.

Gabriel Lan: So, your understanding of rigor mortis gives you even more insight into erections then?

Missy Martinez: Yes. It also makes me appreciate when the people I have sex with AREN’T in varying states of decomposition.

Gabriel Lan: Do you have aspirations of working in that field once/if you ever decide to leave the adult industry?

Missy Martinez: That was my goal. Sadly, there is a lot of nepotism in the autopsy world, so it’s competitive with few employment openings. I’ll have to get back to you on this one.

Gabriel Lan: Being in porn, you probably eventually get the chance to act out some of your personal fantasies, huh?

Missy Martinez: Oh, yeah. Getting paid to cum is cool.

Missy Martinez in Filly Films' 'Fuck Tha Police'
Missy Martinez in Filly Film’s ‘Fuck The Police’

Gabriel Lan: What’s something you haven’t done yet that you’re wanting to do?

Missy Martinez: DIRECT!!! My mind is flooded with erotic nonsense I need to unleash on the world.

Gabriel Lan: Have you had discussions with any companies about directing? Surely someone has thought about giving you a platform to express your own vision….

Missy Martinez: I’ve been in touch with a few companies, but nothing is concrete yet. LoL I’ll name my firstborn (that I don’t abort) after whoever gives me the opportunity.

Gabriel Lan: If anyone wanting to hire new directors is out there reading this, what sorts of “erotic nonsense” would you like to unleash on the world?

Missy Martinez: Without giving away my ideas, it would basically be the meshing of my sexuality and obtuse sense of humor. Boners and laughter: that is the goal.

Missy Martinez in the aptly titled 'Mrs. Martinez and her Gaping Asshole'
Missy Martinez in Brazzer‘s aptly titled ‘Mrs. Martinez and Her Gaping Asshole’

Gabriel Lan: Let’s say I’m giving you full creative authority and a virtual unlimited budget (by industry standards anyway) to make a porn parody. What would it be? Who stars in it, and do you put yourself in the movie at all?

Missy Martinez: I would make “Pootie Tang XXX”, for obvious reasons. The name is pornographic enough. I would play every role.

Gabriel Lan: Obviously, we are going to talk about your tits. I mean, as you’ve said, you paid good money for them, so we ARE going to talk about them. But first, I want to talk about your pretty pink butthole. How do you keep it so beautiful? Do you have a workout
regime….for your butthole, I mean. Inquiring minds want to know!!! LoL

Missy Martinez: My asshole is made out of space age polymers (also used on the Hubble Telescope). I just give it breaks and make sure it’s always shaved.

Gabriel Lan: In a new era of lots of girls having bush in the industry, you have remained in the ‘smooth as silk’ category. Do you just prefer the bald feel/look?

Missy Martinez: I look weird with a bush. I’ve had landing strips before but it just doesn’t look right on me. Maybe later I’ll try again.

Missy Martinez in Naughty America's 'My Friend's Hot Girl 18'
Missy Martinez in Naughty America’s ‘My Friend’s Hot Girl 18’

Gabriel Lan: Not only do you have one of the ‘smartest’ mouths in all of ….well, the world, honestly… but it is also one of the absolute sexiest. How often do you hear that “I bet she (you) could suck a golf ball through a garden hose” line?

Missy Martinez: People either LOVE or HATE my fake lips. It’s not permanent, but people still freak out. I mean, how else are people going to know I have low self esteem?!

Gabriel Lan: So, the boobs…. What made you decide to get them enhanced? Has having them made a big difference in how you feel about yourself or your own sexuality?

Missy Martinez: I had saggy pancake boobs. I was super insecure and wanted to feel comfortable topless. FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!

Gabriel Lan: What would you view as ‘too big’?

Missy Martinez: ‘Too big’ would be at the point when I feel awkward hugging my dad with them.

Missy Martinez in Digital Playgrounds' 'House Calls'
Missy Martinez in Digital Playground’s ‘House Calls’

Gabriel Lan: You had a toy come out recently, molded from your very….ummm….likeness lol. What was that like? Who made it, and where can your fans go out and get it?

Missy Martinez: Doc Johnson fulfilled mine and the world’s prayers by molding my taco! It was super awesome, and the only time I’m cool with having the word “mold” next to my vagina. Get it soon at MyPocketPussy.com/missymartinez

Gabriel Lan: You are pretty active with webcamming as well. When do you start doing that, and how much do you think it, in general, has affected the adult industry?

Missy Martinez: I’m on Streamate most days that I’m not shooting. It’s money, plus I enjoy orgasms. It’s a great way to interact with fans and make new ones.

Gabriel Lan: Have you, for the most part, had a positive experience with webcamming?

Missy Martinez: It has definitely helped me be a better performer. I’m an amazing dirty talker now.

Missy looking devilish in Devils Film's 'The Destruction of Danica Dillon'
Missy looking devilish in Devils Film’s ‘The Destruction of Danica Dillon’

Gabriel Lan: You’ve been in the business for 7 years now, so you’ve been on a LOT of porn sets. What, for you, makes for a good (or even great) day on set?

Missy Martinez: Be efficient and not waste time and please have snacks. Bonus points for gummy bears.

Gabriel Lan: It is common knowledge that you are an uber nerd, gamer girl….. what kind of games do you like? Do you play online?

Missy Martinez: I’ve been gaming since I was 7. I prefer First Person Shooters predominately but I also play some MMOs. Currently I just beat the Fallout 4 DLC ‘“Automatron”. I play sparingly online because I’m a campaign girl at heart.

Gabriel Lan: Your wardrobe, at least what I’ve seen, consist of a LOT of bikinis and high heels. What is your typical ‘lying around the house’ or ‘I’m gaming today’ attire?

Missy Martinez: The “bikini/heel” combo is what I wear when I’m slangin’ my holes on webcam. My typical lounging attire is usually a big, comfy shirt and nothing else.

Missy Martinez in Cherry Pimps' 'Wild On Cam 7'
Missy Martinez in Cherry Pimps’ ‘Wild On Cam 7’

Gabriel Lan: Other than gaming, what else do you enjoy doing in your free time?

Missy Martinez: I enjoy naps, drinking wine, and anonymous bathroom sex.

Gabriel Lan: Clearly, you have all the qualities that the vast majority of people find ‘sexy’. What do you find ‘sexy’? What attracts you to another person? What does someone have to do to be in a relationship with you…… or at least get in your pants?

Missy Martinez: Be smart and be funny. You’re a shoe-in if you meet both of those criteria. I don’t have a specific “type”. Bonus points if you’re a sociopath.

Gabriel Lan: If we’re being honest, we ALL have some sort of fetish; something that just turns you on, whether it’s a completely ‘normal’ turn on, or something that’s just off the wall ‘odd’. What is your biggest fetish?

Missy Martinez: I enjoy being choked in my personal life. I’m like a slutty victim.

Missy Martinez in Evil Angel's 'Lesbian Anal Sex Slaves'
Missy Martinez in Aiden Star Corp.’s ‘Lesbian Anal Sex Slaves’

Gabriel Lan: Let’s play a little game of ‘Murder, Marry, Fuck’… Murder, Marry, Fuck: Justin Timberlake, Kanye West, Justin Beiber. And why?

Missy Martinez: Marry J.T., Fuck Kanye, and Kill Beiber. On second thought, I’ll just kill them all and then fuck their dead bodies.

Gabriel Lan: Murder, Marry, Fuck: Selena Gomez, Kim Kardashian, Demi Lovato. And why?

Missy Martinez: Kill Kim 3 times.

Gabriel Lan: 2016 is an election year, so if you were a presidential candidate, what would you’re platform consist of? What would be the issues you were firing up your constituents over?

Missy Martinez: I’m Mexican. I’m not allowed to vote, let alone run for office lol.

Missy Martinez in her AE Films' showcase 'Fucked Ra'
Missy Martinez in her AE Films’ showcase ‘Fucked Ra’

Gabriel Lan: Your showcase movie ‘Missy Martinez Fucked Ra’ contains your 1st and only DP. What will your next “1st” be?

Missy Martinez: A gangbang would be neat.

Gabriel Lan: ‘Fucked Ra’ is obviously a reference to the Egyptian sun god Ra. If you were an Egyptian goddess, what would you be? The Egyptian goddess of what?

Missy Martinez: The Egyptian Goddess of Sarcasm and Pretty Pink Buttholes.

Get your daily dose of the highly entertaining Missy Martinez all over social media on:

Twitter – @MissyXMartinez

Instagram – @missyxmartinez

Snapchat – missyxmartinez

Spoil her Amazon: Missy Martinez

Become a member of her website: MissyMartinez.com

To find the filmography of Missy Martinez or any of your favorite pornstars, just go to IAFD.com

Dirty Minds Vol. 3: “What makes you uncontrollably horny?”

 

Dirty Minds 3 (1)

We’ve all heard (and probably even used) the expression ‘Great minds think alike’, but how much truth is there in that statement? Is it just a playful expression with nothing more to it than that?

But what if it IS true? What does that mean for people with ‘dirty minds’? Do they think alike too? We here at IAFD  wanted to know, so we set out to do some research and try to find out for ourselves. Who better to enlist in this undertaking than some of the dirtiest, filthiest minds we could think of – pornstars, of course!

To do this, we needed to establish a baseline for evaluating our analysis. For this baseline, we turned to the fans and their inquiring, perverted minds for a select few questions that virtually all pornstars are commonly asked by the average fan.

Basically, we went straight to the stars themselves and asked them all the same questions virtually every fan always wanted to ask, to see if there were any common themes in how pornstars think.

This edition’s featured question is:

What makes you uncontrollably horny?

 

AJ Applegate in ArchAngel Productions' 'Booty Queen 2'
AJ Applegate in ArchAngel Productions‘  ‘Booty Queen 2’

 

 

 

 

AJ Applegate: “I love making out! I’m a make out whore lol. If your a good kisser you will make my pussy instantly wet and I will become uncontrollably horny :)”

 

 

 

 

Violet Monroe in Naughty America's 'Neighbor Affair'
Violet Monroe in Naughty America’s ‘Neighbor Affair’

 

 

 

 

Violet Monroe: “Kissing my neck. I love it when someone’s forcefully grabbing me or pulling my hair.”

 

 

 

 

 

Kate England in DarkX's 'IR Anal Workout'
Kate England in DarkX‘s ‘IR Anal Workout’

 

 

 

Kate England: “Lots of oral and dirty talk!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Charlotte Sartre in kink.com's 'Hardcore Gangbang'
Charlotte Sartre in kink.com’s Mommy’s Little Nineteen Year Old Whore

 

Charlotte Sartre: “Above all else, I love feeling the other person getting horny. Their heart beats faster, they start breathing heavier, they get hard/wet and it makes me want them even more.”

 

 

 

 

 

Aria Alexander in Digital Playground's 'Flixxx: Earth Day'
Aria Alexander in Digital Playground’s ‘Flixxx: Earth Day’

Aria Alexander: “I love seeing men stroke their cocks. Either masturbating or washing it in the shower, pretty much any reason a man would have to jack himself off I LOVE. Even more simple stuff does it sometimes, like when my husband readjusts himself through his pants or whips it out to pee. Hehe :)”

 

 

 

Sasha Heart: “After being in the industry as long as I have and getting older and now knowing what I know about sex, what actually gets me horny the most is the tease of it all.

Sasha Heart in Girlsway.com's 'Sharing The Bed part 1"
Sasha Heart in Girlsway’s ‘Sharing The Bed’

The lead up to the act itself. The waiting and wanting of the person. Even more so if I’ve never had them before. Texting and calling, sending naughty photos. Going back and forth together with the desire to have them is almost more fun than actually the act itself. Sometimes when you get to know that said person, they aren’t everything you thought they might be and the sex sorta sucks, so the flirting was the hottest part. So that has become the best moments: the lead up; the fore play; the tease of everything.”

 

Angela White in AGW Entertainment B.V.'s 'Angela 1'
Angela White in AGW Entertainment B.V.’s Angela 1

 

 

 

 

Angela White: “Being alive.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Moe 'The Monster' Johnson with Savannah Stevens in Dogfart's 'Big White Tits and Large Black Dicks 5'
Moe ‘The Monster’ Johnson with Savannah Stevens in Dogfart’s ‘Big White Tits And Large Black Dicks 5’

 

Moe ‘The Monster’ Johnson: “There’s two answers for that question: personally & professionally. Personally, it’s intimate foreplay. Professionally, definitely women who express vocally how and what my Johnson makes her feel. Chemistry is everything.”

 

 

 

 

Alison Rey in Cherry Pimps' 'Cherry Spot 8'
Alison Rey in Cherry Pimps’ ‘Cherry Spot 8’

 

 

Alison Rey: “Dirty talk is my weakness. If a guy whispers to me the horribly dirty things he’s going to do once he’s inside me, I go nuts and I get SOAKED. There’s no better way to get my pussy ready.”

 

 

 

 

Gia Paige EroticaX threesome surprise 01
Gia Paige in EroticaX‘s ‘Threesome Surprise’

 

 

Gia Paige: “Everything… life, the world. I think I’m always horny because I can’t really think of a time when I wouldn’t have sex. Even when I was in the hospital I managed to have sex.”

 

 

 

 

Payton Sin Claire in Evil Angel's 'Lex's Tattooed Vixens'
Payton Sin Claire in Lexington Steele Productions’‘Lex’s Tattooed Vixens’

 

 

 

 

Payton Sin Claire: “A guy in uniform.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Desiree-Lopez-RK-latinathroats
Desiree Lopez in latinathroats.com’s ‘Desiree Lopez 2’

 

Desiree Lopez: “Hot women. College girls. Any and every Dominatrix. A six pack with a penis. Tattoos. Deepthroating. Gagging. Rope. Polish men and women. Tacos. Sushi.”

 

 

 

Ryan Reisling in Dogfart's 'Blacks On Blondes'
Ryan Riesling in Dogfart’s ‘Blacks On Blondes

 

 

Ryan Riesling: “This is weird, but I love watching people concentrate on something. It’s a huge turn-on for me. During the action, kissing my neck is the best way to get me going. Taking charge of the situation is also very sexy.”

 

 

 

Brianna Banks in Brazzers' "My Uncle's Hot GF Wants My Dick"
Brianna Banks in Brazzers‘ “My Uncle’s Hot GF Wants My Dick’

 

 

 

Briana Banks: “Having my neck kissed and bitten and teased without my clothes being taken off.”

 

 

 

 

 

Missy Martinez in Brazzers' 'Mrs. Martinez and Her Gaping Asshole'
Missy Martinez in Brazzers‘Mrs. Martinez and Her Gaping Asshole

 

 

 

 

Missy Martinez: “I’m a HUGE fan of touch. Massages with oil get me ready for action.”

Exxxotica Chicago 2016

After a four year absence, I returned to Chicago for an Exxxotica. I usually try to attend one Exxxotica a year, and my plan was originally to go to Dallas until Dallas decided to ban Exxxotica from its convention center and initiate a legal battle.

Not much has changed about the Chicago show other than new faces in the industry. Again the busiest day of the show was the first night when they allowed ladies to attend for free. With the Anime Midwest convention occurring concurrently, I thought it would be a great opportunity for cross-attendance, but that mostly happened on that first night after the anime convention hours ended. Women and men fit right in with their revealing cosplay uniforms.

Chloe Amour
Click on Chloe for the Flickr gallery of the convention

Some other thoughts and observations:

  • Veronica Rodriguez had the most popular booth at the convention with Kissa Sins, Cali Carter, and of course Veronica herself leading the bouncy charge.
  • The highlight of the convention was a wedding of an Exxxotica producer, Tita, officiated by Evan Stone. Tita rode in on a horse with a dildo for a unicorn horn.
  • I saw the return of multiple award winners and Hall of Famers, Hillary Scott and Briana Banks. There was a point in 2009 where I couldn’t recognise Hillary because of her hairstyle change back then, but there was no trouble this year with her familiar blonde wavy locks.
  • The absences included Skin Diamond and Kimmy Granger. Skin’s was notable since she was scheduled to perform a cabaret show on stage each day, and well Kimmy is Kimmy.
  • I followed respectively a day in the lives of Vicki Chase, Chloe Amour, and Christiana Cinn. I think the most fascinating thing about seeing behind the curtain are the different personalities and how they approach the mundane tasks that prepare them to meet their fans.
  • I didn’t bring my camera into the after-parties because they were not allowed in the VIP section. I had two choices, either to drink with the VIPs or not drink outside the VIP section, so the choice was easy.

 

“Just The Facts, Ma’am” with Samantha Rone

JTFM - Samantha Rone

As the premier resource for information about the American porn community on the web, the internet adult film database catalogs hundreds of thousands of both porn movie titles and pornstars alike.

Here at IAFD, we are constantly striving to provide our users with the most complete information available on all your favorite pornstars. To help further that agenda, we went straight to the stars themselves to find out a little more about them… things they like, things they dislike, their favorite things, their hobbies, etc. in a little segment we call ‘Just The Facts, Ma’am”.

In this installment, we feature literally one of the most naturally pretty girls in the entire adult industry: all America beauty Samantha Rone

Samantha Rone in HardX's 'All American Anal Glam'
Samantha Rone in HardX’s ‘All American Anal Glam’

Name: Samantha Rone
Date of Birth: 05/05/1994
Place of Birth: Las Vegas
Height: 5’6
Weight: 116
Measurements: 34-30-34

Samantha Rone in Brazzers' 'I think We Should Bang Other People 2'
Samantha Rone in Brazzers’ ‘I think  We Should Bang Other People 2’

Eye Color: Grey/green
Hair Color: Blonde
Shoe Size: 8
Dress Size: 2
Ethnic Background: White
Tattoos: None
Piercings: None

Samantha in AE Films' 'Jay's POV 1'
Samantha in AE Films’ ‘Jay’s  POV 1’

Social Media Address(s):
* Twitter – @SamanthaRone
*Instagram – @BlownByRone
Website: It is still under construction, but it’s BlownByRone.com
Amazon Wish List: Samantha Rone

The breathtakingly beautiful Samantha Rone in Amateur Allure's 'Amateur POV auditions 10'
The breathtaking Samantha Rone in Amateur Allure’s ‘Amateur POV Auditions 10’

1st Scene: It was ‘Amateur Introductions 1’ for Amateur Allure
Most Memorable Scene So Far: It hasn’t been published yet, but soon :)
Favorite Position(s): Doggy
Turn Ons: Neck bites/kisses
Turn Offs: Bad breath, smelly lady/man parts ….

Samantha in Reality Kinds' 'Teens Love Huge Cocks 6'
Samantha Rone in Reality Kings’ ‘Teens Love Huge Cocks 6’

Favorite Food(s): Pasta! All FOOD!
Favorite Movie(s): Rocky Horror Picture Show, Guardians Of The Galaxy, Lord Of The Rings (all)
Favorite TV Show(s): Dexter, Once Upon A Time, Walking Dead, Pushing Daises

Samantha stretching with Riley Reid in girlsway.com's 'My First Trainer'
Samantha stretching with Riley Reid in girlsway.com’s ‘My First Trainer’

Favorite Book(s): Harry Potter(all) Interview with a Vampire, anything by Scott Westerfield!
Favorite Music Genre(s): Country, EDM, R&B… everything really!
Favorite Color: Hunter green
Favorite or Dream Vacation Destination: Belize. Beautiful place with great food and nice people :)

The gorgeous Samantha Rone in Erotica X's 'Eternal Passion 5'
The gorgeous Samantha Rone in Erotica X’s ‘Eternal Passion 5’

Pet(s): I have two cats
Pastimes or Hobbies: Rock climbing, hiking, wake boarding, Netflix….
If I wasn’t in the adult industry, I would probably be: Working as a nurse.
My ultimate dream job (other than porn) would be: A Victoria Secret model or Taylor swift lol

The lovely Samantha Rone in tushy.com's 'The Art Of Anal Sex'
Samantha Rone looking like a supermodel in tushy.com’s ‘The Art Of Anal Sex’Art Of Anal Sex’