Our Picks for the 2021 AVN Awards

Oh, it’s been quite a year. I’m not talking about the pandemic but the actual amount of reviewing that it takes to vote for the AVN Awards. As AVN founder, Paul Fishbein, once said, “It is a very long, horrible process”. You would think that with production stoppages this year there would be less things to vote on, but there seemed to be even more categories with 10-15 nominations in each. Apparently, everyone on the nomination committee worked for Oprah at one time, but you can’t please everyone. Sure, we have the option of not voting in every category – this year we voted in 69 of 89 categories – but you still have to watch all 10-15 nominees in order to fairly rank them in that category!

AVN doesn’t give us guidelines on how to vote so every voter has a different criteria on what they look for. As I mentioned last year, and for all of you analytic-minded masturbating prognosticators out there, I use a hybrid clinical approach in judging the technical aspects in the production and director categories and an overall feel for the scene and performer categories. People have asked whether voters have biases based on their experiences with the industry, and the answer is of course we do. Experience does impact how we view a product. No one has offered us blowjobs or even a handjob for a vote though, but that’s a lot of work to coordinate even for those that have publicists. Most of the performers just know me as a photographer while the producers/directors tend to be more savvy in their discussions around me.

But for the sake of transparency and further rumour mongering, here are some of our picks for the 2021 AVN Awards:


I wish Rocco would come to America more. He is a legend and his performing prime may be behind him, but you get see the excitement of the American performers that get to work with him which we don’t see as much in his European work. Jane Wilde is such a filthy performer and Jonni Darko, who I believe is the most technically adept director out there, make a great pairing for her showcase.


I realise that feature directors have a very difficult job juggling more factors on their sets than their gonzo, umm I’m sorry, non-narrative counterparts. However, I still place a lot of weight on the heat of their scenes/movies which is why I favour someone like Miles Long or Chris Streams who show a workmanlike approach to their craft; technically proficient in capturing the heat without being glossy or abstract. I also find that female directors/producers like Casey and Scarlett are stronger at answering the “Why are these people having sex?” premise beyond “THEY ARE HOT & HORNY!” and bridging the “Why are they taking so long to have sex?” filler that differentiates features from gonzo non-narratives.


Angela White would have made an excellent phone sex operator in the days before we had camming. Her dialogue and charisma would turn a eunuch on. I think it’s the Australian accent. Penny Pax has shown great range in the movies I’ve watched over the years. She can go from shy housewife to goofy nerd to seductive vixen. Even though Mainstream Venture is not a traditional acting category, Lily Labeau was the only nominee there for her acting. I found her acting chops and comic timing appropriate in the series where she switches between being the straight woman and comic foil.


After the year we had, I didn’t want to repeat any winners from 2020 so we voted for a new group of performers. Mary Moody is the first performer chosen that I knew mainly from camming. Every time I see her in public at the conventions, her delighted interactions with her cam colleagues also translated into her partnerships in scenes. She is very easy on the eyes and incredibly nice to boot. Anna de Ville and Erik Everhard, both veterans of American porn, continue to put out great scenes in Europe. I would be hanging out at my buddy’s house all the time as a kid if Sarah Vandella was his mom. Last, I am a big fan of Kenna James’s scenes. They do not involve much theatrics, but there is something about how her squinty eyes, the curl of her lips, and crooked smile contribute to her girl next door charm and accessibility. Her costars, men or women, all seem to be really into her. I may be clumsy compared to say Don Juan DeMarko in describing her appeal, but there was a reason why she was Penthouse Pet of the Year and why we feel she should be Female Performer of the Year.

Good luck to all of the nominees we supported.

Congratulations Timmy

I would like to congratulate Baron T.Otto Wilhelm Gunther Dietrich Von Swine IVth otherwise known as Tim Von Swine to you commoners for his induction into the AVN Hall of Fame. He joins his partner in crime, Mike John (2014 class), in the Hall for his contributions to gonzo with his no holds barred pig slop.

Von Swine at the center of attention

I first met Timmy almost a decade ago through Jake Malone (RIP) and was shocked that he knew me from my old reviews on ADT. He pulled no punches describing the ins and out of the industry, and that candor was refreshing even if it turned off others and may have held him back in the business. Whether it was discussing hockey, music, his favourite women, or his work, he wasn’t going to bullshit you.

I salute you, Swine, and we need to chug some beers next month.

AEE Field Report: You Too Can Be Made to Feel Like an Asshole!

Well, two days in, and there are some truths that are making themselves evident.

  1. The talent rules.  I am always amazed at the poise and grace that the talent exhibit when greeted with throngs of fans.
  2. The Hard Rock Event staff go out of their way to make you feel like an asshole.  They’re nice enough about it, but you still feel like an asshole.  Let me explain.  The main exhibit hall has doors around all the walls.  They’re identical and unmarked.  So when you go to leave the hall to visit another area, you invariably choose the wrong door, and you’re stopped by a guy in a Hard Rock jacket telling me I have to go down to the next door to exit.  Conversely, I found myself going into the main hall via an exit door, and AFTER I AM IN THE HALL the guy stops me and says that I’m entering through the exit door.  I look at him and he helpfully says, “Well, you’re already in, so you can keep going this time.”  He wasn’t being hostile, but I still ended up feeling like an asshole being scolded by the hall monitor.
  3. The traffic management is haphazard. Your goal is to manage foot traffic, and I get it, but when there’s no clear line or reason for what a line waaaay down the hall is, don’t be shocked when people congregate instead of getting in the line.  The Digital Playgound booth is in the main hallway with the rest of the Manwin properties, and there’s a line waaaay down at the start of it.  It is unclear what the line is for.  There doesn’t seem to be anyone at the head of the line parceling out where people want to go (“Do we have anyone for Selena Rose?”) so when there’s no one standing in front of Selena Rose, a crowd gathers thinking, maybe, this is where the line should be.  It ain’t.  I didn’t stick around to find out how one was supposed to see Selena Rose.  The lines inside the main convention center are just as bad… and in The Joint, there’s hardly any room for lines, so there’s just crowds.
  4. The Joint is a HORRIBLE place to have a booth.  The traffic flow is horrendous.  There’s this giant railing that runs thru it that really crowds everything together. I’m sure it makes sense when it’s being used as a performance venue, but as a convention space, I found it really lacking.  It felt as I was snaking around the place that I was constantly hitting myself up against the railing.

The Joint

Given all of this, it’s still good to see everyone; so we’ve got that going for us.

(I started the day with a quick segment on YouPorn where I got a big unsolicited hug from Ginger Lynn and then I got to slap Christy Canyon‘s tit a few times, so my 16 year old self had a boner all day.)

Please Don’t Quit, Mark Suben!

Here in the northeast (and maybe elsewhere), a lot has been made of Cortland County (NY) prosecutor Mark Suben coming clean about his porn past. Suben, under the nom de porn, Guy Thomas, made 10 or so movies from 1972 to 1974.

According to nj.com, a YouTube video made the rounds during Suben’s re-election, in what I assume was an attempt to smear him.  The video is snarky and, at 15 minutes, overly long to make their point.

But, he has since admitted that Mark Suben = Guy Thomas.  His spokesperson said:

“This was nearly 40 years ago. It was not illegal. Mark Suben was not yet married. He was not practicing law and he was not a law student . . . it has nothing to do with his law practice or his current position as the district attorney of Cortland County.”

(I’m no lawyer, but I’m pretty sure it technically would have been illegal at the time he was shooting porn in New York.  Porn production wasn’t really legalized until Hal Freeman fought his way to the California Supreme Court and even then, it merely legalized shooting porn in California.  But I think that hunting down that witch  is more akin to protesting that someone took a drink during prohibition…)

Semantics aside, Suben didn’t do anything wrong by modern standards, and his acts a lifetime ago shouldn’t have any bearing on his acts in his current life.

Politically, we understand you can’t embrace your porn past, and your statements make it clear you’re very embarrassed by them:

“I used bad judgment myself in my youth. . . I was an actor in adult films in the early 1970s. I also acted in other venues, off-Broadway, soap operas. . . A few weeks ago, when asked, I denied this to members of the press. I regret that and I apologize. I was shocked to be confronted by this so many years later.  .  . I was embarrassed for my family and friends who have stood by me. I also denied my actions to my family, my friends and my staff. After that brief period of my life, I found my calling in the law, particularly in prosecution, and have dedicated my life and my career to doing what I’ve been elected to do – protecting my home community.  I will continue to do that. I cannot defend my bad judgment, both my involvement years ago and my denial of it recently.”

I agree with half of his last statement.  Lying about it recently did no good.  But having done it years ago — was it bad judgement at the time, or in hindsight now that you carry an elected position and now that such a thing might not get you elected again?

I say, perhaps the lying is what you should be held accountable for and embarrassed by; not the fact that you fucked some girls on film back in the days when you were footloose and fancy free and not a public servant.

So, Mark, please don’t quit.  Don’t cave into pressure.  Keep putting away the bad guys.  Blaze a trail for so many others who have been ostracized for legal choices they made years ago and are still paying the price… and own the fact that you got to bang Georgina Spelvin and Darby Lloyd Rains and 80’s disco sensation Andrea True!

Hey, America! Get Out and Vote!

Today’s a pretty big day for us Yanks, we go and stand in line for a little while and try to change the course of history.  Whether we are successful is mostly out of our hands, but the victory is in our ability to do something about it.  (Or that we have the illusion of being able to do something about it, if you’re really cynical about it . . .)

So, regardless of who you support in this election, it’s most important that you let your voice be heard and counted.

If you’re in LA County and a member of the adult film industry and like small government, you probably want to VOTE NO ON MEASURE B, just like the LA Times, LA Daily News and bunches of others.  But you may prefer to vote YES ON MEASURE B like the Los Angeles County Medical Association and some others (tho implying that supporting condoms in adult films is equivalent to supporting Measure B is a logical fallacy. You can dislike Measure B but still like condoms in your movies.)

Either way, make your choice, stand up and get counted – that’s the important part. . . otherwise you lose your right to bitch about it. . .

After Jenna Jameson endorsed Mitt Romney, The Daily Beast wasn’t able to find (perhaps they didn’t try very hard) to find anyone else to do the same.

If you’re in NYC, you might want to spend tonight with Lisa Ann as Sarah Palin.

These opinions are mine and may or may not be shared by the rest of the staff here.