Henri Pachard and Rabbit Holes

[UPDATED 15 Dec 2013: I found the articles. They’re linked in the text now.]

pachardemailI had to search thru an old email program today for something that came up 10 years or so ago, and I stumbled upon one of four emails that Henri Pachard wrote to me back in November/December 2002.

I had written an article somewhere that I can’t find (FOUND IT!) that approved of something Pachard wrote.  At the time he was a columnist for AVN Insider and for some other outfit I can’t quite place, YES something I think — yesportal.com! thanks Rog! — and he had written an article about awards shows and the positive effects they have on a group of people who mostly suffer from low self-esteem which I thought was particularly astute (FOUND IT!), and I wrote a reply to it somewhere which found its way into his hands.  He sent this along:

Thanksgiving Day, 2002, 3:40 pm

Dear Jeff, (I hope this reaches you)

Dave Cummings forwarded me your recent post on r.a.m.e about myself and my writing. After reading your comments and descriptions about myself – more than once, I admit – and your beautiful sentiments, I printed it and took it to my wife to read it to her. 

I told her that I finally know, now, why I keep writing like I do, and asked her to listen. 

After I read your comments to her, I nodded my head to her, and she knew – for the next few seconds or so – that I would not be able to speak from fear of my voice breaking. So she waited until I could.

“This is why I do it.” I whispered, and she nodded her head to me.

Fuck, man; you touched my heart. It’s guys like you that will keep me writing as long as I’m able.

It’s guys like you that make it a privilege.

Henri Pachard

Holy shit!

I wrote him back:

> On 28 Nov 2002 at 15:46, Henri Pachard wrote:

>     Fuck, man; you touched my heart. It’s guys like you that will keep
>     me writing as long as I’m able.
>     It’s guys like you that make it a privilege.

Wow.  That’s heavy, man.  I’m glad you’re out there filming people fucking and writing about it.  I’ve long been a champion of yours — you had me with DMJ2 and I’ve been with you ever since — and am glad I’ve had the opportunity to tell you.

If you’re going to be in Vegas for CES (or whatever the hell we’re calling it these days) I hope our paths cross.  I’ll be the geek in the iafd.com shirt. :-) 

At the AVN Expo in 2003, I had the great pleasure of meeting him, and we had a very nice conversation about the business, the IAFD and RAME, various fan websites, fans in general, the internet, the classics, and generally mutually admiring one another.  (Which still boggles my mind.)

So, after I found those emails, I went off in search of the original article, and couldn’t find it, but I did spend WAAY too much time browsing thru the Internet Archive’s snapshot of the AVNInsider site and Pachard’s columns.  They’re well worth a visit, and that’s really the purpose of this post — go read Pachard.  (The link takes you to his first column.)

(I’d also like to take a minute to plead with someone to make these articles available somewhere else.  AVN’s current site? eBook?  Something?)

Today on Radio Sex: Outlaw Ladies (1981)

outlawladies“For Fearless Men and Ambitious Women!” 

Today on Radio Sex’ YouPorn on XM 102 around 2:40, I’ll be talking about Outlaw Ladies, Henri Pachard‘s vignette movie from 1981.

A tip o’ the hat to Mark Murray’s blog Adventures in Erotica, for inspiring today’s choice (and providing the poster I glommed for the article).

I haven’t seen Outlaw Ladies in forever, and it popped up on Mark’s blog, so I figured I’d revisit.  I’m glad I did.

We open with Marlene Willoughby getting herself beautiful, only to have R. Bolla throw a brief hump into her under the covers.  She’s unfulfilled, and an archetype for the movie — the rich and bored wives of the rich and straying husbands.

Bobby Astyr lets Juliet Anderson know he’s going to be working late, which is great for her so she can set up a tryst between herself and Ron Hudd, with an assist from Jody Maxwell.  Juliet explains to Jody that she wants to use the new vibrator today, so when she gives the word, Jody should apply it.

Ron gets out of the shower and Juliet directs the sex like a pro.  All dirty talk and telling him what she needs him to do (“Don’t pull my head; just hold your cock so you don’t shoot too soon…“) while she blows him, then she rides him and has Jody (clothed throughout) shove the vibrator up her bum which brings Juliet to orgasm and then she leaps off Ron and jerks him off onto her face.

We get an interlude which will set up later scenes – artist John Leslie is sketching a portrait of Samantha Fox and husband Al Greenbach (according to the credits), but she gets called away.  

Next, we see Marlene Willoughby as a high-fashion model (by day!) being photographed by Henri Pachard and Josh Andrews and then we cut to her in a bubble bath which seems to be how she transforms to high-class callgirl by night.  Bobby Astyr shows up at Marlene’s apartment (complete with African-American Maid,played by Jolet Kodet!) and she starts things off by eating his ass for a little before blowing him then riding him cowgirl.  She has panties sticking out of her netherbits which she flutters across Bobby’s cock before wrapping the panties around his cock as she kneels down to suck him to completion.  She then wipes him up using them and offering them as a souvenir.  He’s not sure what to do with them.

Veronica Hart busts into to R. Bolla‘s office exclaiming “Not guilty! That little Puerto Rican is now free! I got him free.” and they argue about the billing status of the case. He calls in Merle Michaels, his secretary, and reads her the riot act for not sending the bill to court with Veronica.  She apologizes and leaves.  Veronica is all fired up and wants to get back to work on a murder appeal for another client.  She eschews an offer of dinner with “Harry” to work late.  She calls Harry to tell him she’s working late and asks him to fix his own dinner… her desire to work on the murder appeal is quickly forgotten as she calls John Leslie to get together at the office.  Slight awkwardness as she’s chastised by the cleaning lady (Cami Graham) for working so hard, and then she gets caught leading John back to her office and by R. Bolla and Merle who are leaving together.

Veronica asks John to “put it up her backside” tonight.  He asks if she’s ever done it, she says no, so John explains that prep is necessary.  That she keeps calling it “her backside” is funny. She’s bent over her desk and he goes straight to the A.  Eventually, she relents and calls it “her ass” and as the phone rings – her husband asking where food is kept — John cums all over her ass.  She’s upset because she wanted him to cum inside, but she “tightened up and pushed [him] out.”  This scene is a little dark with Veronica’s face in a bit of shadow.

Also of note, a chorus singing “OUTLAW LA-DIES!” between each scene.

Merle and R. Bolla are at her apartment enjoying some jug wine when her mom calls.  They go back to making out post-call and we briefly cut to Samantha Fox driving down 42nd Street, eyeing Show World (in its former glory).  Back to Merle and R. he eats her out a bit, then she sucks him off and they fuck in missionary; but she gets very anxious that he not cum inside her, so she offers to suck him off and she jerks him off between her breasts and cleans him off.  What’s nice is, up until this point, the guys (except for John Leslie, and his was done for dramatic purposes) aren’t jacking themselves off.

We cut to a dive bar where Joey Silvera is drinking beers with Debbie Revenge and others (Geri AvantMargo Dumont) while Jody Maxwell looks on.  Samantha Fox walks in as it caught off-guard by Jody’s presence. Joey leads the two socialites upstairs to a small apartment where the most prominent feature is the bed.  the two girls take turns servicing Joey and the dialog is pretty tawdry, with Samanatha and Jody asking Joey about fucking the “girl downstairs” and commenting that they can taste her pussy on his dick.  They fuck him and finally he cums in Jody’s mouth as Samantha jerks him off, but they cut around the ejaculation, and it’s pretty dark, so there’s some reliance on your imagination…

Finally, the movie spends its last 10 minutes wrapping up the Merle Michaels character.  Long story short, Merle wants something more from R. Bolla, who says nix since they work together and she should be able to go out and meet some young people.  It’s perhaps the nicest brush-off on record.  He returns home to Marlene, shares the good news about the not guilty verdict, but his wife is aware something is up.  Back at the office, he asks Veronica to fire Merle.  Back in Merle’s apartment, she’s moping around and the phone rings, and it’s John Leslie (not her mother!) and he wants to go out, but she asks him to come over instead.  He says he’ll pick up some food and wine and he’ll be by.  Back in R. Bolla’s house, the phone rings and Merle gives her the message “Instead of fucking my tits, he should fuck your tits… and if he can’t fuck your tits, then he should fuck HIMSELF!”

Roll credits.

The thing that lifts this movie is the chemistry the performers have.  They’re all pros and they can all act, and it goes a long way to keeping things believable.  The final line is delivered believably, when in lesser hands it could have been painful.  The establishing scenes are all sensible and give the following sex acts some context.

This is an easy movie to watch, the sex scenes aren’t soul-crushing marathons.

Best scenes – Veronica Hart / John Leslie because they’re go great at what they do. There’s not a lot of variety in the scene – she doesn’t even blow him – but they’ve got a chemistry.  The Merle Michaels / R. Bolla scene succeeds because she’s so breathlessly enthusiastic. The other scenes are all good too.  Just watch the movie.  It’s only 85 minutes long!


Radio Sex Rewind: Sexcapades (1983) and Great Sexpectations (1984)

Today at 2:40ish on Radio Sex XM103 YouPorn I’ll be talking with Ginger Lynn and Christy Canyon about two of my favorite adult movies from the early 80s, Sexcapades and Great Sexpectations; both directed by my favorite helmsman, Henri Pachard.

I talked about these two movies on Playboy Radio’s Nighcalls with Debi and Nicki back in November 2011, and figured it was a good time to revisit since Eric Edwards will be calling into the show.

I’ll just point you to the earlier reviews I wrote, since they’re pretty extensive…, just click the title cards…



Great Sexpectations Title Card

Remembering Three Legends on Their Birthday

Today, June 4, marks the birthdays of Henri PachardBruce Seven and Jack Baker.  Henri Pachard would have been 73, Bruce Seven – 66, and Jack Baker – 65 had they not been taken from us before their time.

In their honor, I will re-watch part of Pachard’s  Devil in Miss Jones 2 (the Jacqueline Lorians and Joanna Storm scenes)  and Baker’s appearances in Devil in Miss Jones 3 and Bruce Seven’s Takin’ It To The Limit (for the excellent Debi Diamond‘s taking on of Peter North and TT Boy.)



“Porn For Valentine’s Day? Well, OK!”

This story by originally appeared on YesPortal.com, a now defunct adult news and commentary website.  It was rescued thanks to the Internet Wayback Machine and can be found there via this link.  I have reprinted it here because I think it’s worth sharing…

Porn For Valentine’s Day? Well, OK!
by Henri Pachard

It figures. Once again, my favorite adult news and gossip group, Adult DVD Talk, has sparked my interest for today’s column. The contributor who began the thread calls herself “Fast Forward,” and has previously described herself simply as “just another married girl that likes to watch porn.”

Appropriately, the thread began with: “Help me find the perfect movie for Valentine’s Day.” Then she includes “I want to see stuff that turns us both on…”

Then “Fast Forward” listed seven “should haves” — if possible — to be included among any titles suggested. These included “Pro-performer attitude”; just enough, but not too much plot; lots of “b/g action,” including anal, “dp,” “facials,” natural breasts, decent-looking guys with decent cocks, and with minimum “bd-sm” and circus acts.

It seems that “Fast Forward” not only knows about the kind of product that’s selling, she knows the group she’s writing to. She’s not looking for the kind of porn that your father used to watch.

I was impressed by some of the responses that followed; here are some of the titles suggested for viewing on Saint Valentine’s day: State of Bliss, It Had To Be You, a classic piece of porn from the late seventies; Desires Within Young GirlsHooray For HollywoodWhite Lightning“, Red Vibe Diaries and, surprisingly, the eighth volume of Gang Bang Auditions.
Veronica Hart’s titles, Torn and Taken, were strongly recommended. Even performer and director Hamilton Steel confessed his shared passion with his wife, also a performer and director, Kelly Fire, when viewing Taken. I shot this couple in a scene once, and anything that gets their attention is a great compliment to any director. I hope Veronica checks out Hamilton’s own words.

A couple of responses couldn’t resist the fun of suggesting two of the most extreme, and nasty directors known for their sexually degrading stuff; which was anything from Max Hardcore and Brandon Iron’s Swallow My Pride.

I would not have expected any of today’s producers to suggest any of their titles as being appropriate for most couples to share on Valentine’s day; fearing that it might scare off customers. But nevertheless, Jeff Mike from JM Productions suggested Jim Powersthirty-fifth volume of Perverted Stories. I guess if a series can make it to that high of a number of releases — then, why not? Whenever I run into Jim Powers, my first thoughts stir up the visions of “that blonde’s” head hanging up-side down, with her own saliva drooling down her face while her mouth is getting relentlessly fucked (a shot I stole at my first opportunity).

To suggest a porn title — especially the kind that’s popular today — as something suitable for sharing with your lover on Valentine’s Day somehow seems weird to me. In fact, I’ve often offered the opinion that perhaps anyone’s favorite porn would be whatever he or she keeps secret, and watched only when alone. It’s obvious to me now, that this is not a very popular concept.

Saint Valentine’s Day implies and reminds us to celebrate intimacy among couples. I can’t think of too many of my own titles that I could recommend, except perhaps one. But it only has one scene in it that’s both pornographic and with a special message of intimacy. Ironically, this scene got me into enough “trouble” with VCA, a few years ago, that Veronica Hart felt it necessary to wait for VCA’s owner, Russ Hampshire, to return from out of town to approve the content. Knowing Russ, I didn’t blame her.

It happened to be my favorite scene in True Hooker Stories, which was about a very tough guy (Tyce Bune) and a blind, paralyzed hooker (C.J. Bennett), with her “caretaker” played by Tina Tyler. I intentionally wrote in Tina’s character to allow the viewer to disapprove of Tyce’s character and the way he openly abuses and degrades CJ’s blind, crippled body. He begins with dragging her by her lifeless ankles across the bed and makes her blindly search for his cock with her mouth.

His attitude was that since he’s paying to fuck her, he can fuck her any way he wants to. Tina tells us that this is “bad business.”

Then after Tyce finally finishes her with the good old facial, he catches his breath and goes into the bathroom and gets a washcloth with warm water. Instead of using if on himself, he brings the washcloth back to CJ and very tenderly washes her face. He whispers to her that if she ever needs anything — whatever it is — to let him know. He lets her know that he will always be there for her. Before he leaves her, it becomes clear that this crippled, blind whore is the only person in his life that he can trust. That scene was my favorite, because it was about the meaning of intimacy. Intimacy is trust.

For Valentine’s Day, don’t come home without it.