Henri Pachard and Rabbit Holes

[UPDATED 15 Dec 2013: I found the articles. They’re linked in the text now.]

pachardemailI had to search thru an old email program today for something that came up 10 years or so ago, and I stumbled upon one of four emails that Henri Pachard wrote to me back in November/December 2002.

I had written an article somewhere that I can’t find (FOUND IT!) that approved of something Pachard wrote.  At the time he was a columnist for AVN Insider and for some other outfit I can’t quite place, YES something I think — yesportal.com! thanks Rog! — and he had written an article about awards shows and the positive effects they have on a group of people who mostly suffer from low self-esteem which I thought was particularly astute (FOUND IT!), and I wrote a reply to it somewhere which found its way into his hands.  He sent this along:

Thanksgiving Day, 2002, 3:40 pm

Dear Jeff, (I hope this reaches you)

Dave Cummings forwarded me your recent post on r.a.m.e about myself and my writing. After reading your comments and descriptions about myself – more than once, I admit – and your beautiful sentiments, I printed it and took it to my wife to read it to her. 

I told her that I finally know, now, why I keep writing like I do, and asked her to listen. 

After I read your comments to her, I nodded my head to her, and she knew – for the next few seconds or so – that I would not be able to speak from fear of my voice breaking. So she waited until I could.

“This is why I do it.” I whispered, and she nodded her head to me.

Fuck, man; you touched my heart. It’s guys like you that will keep me writing as long as I’m able.

It’s guys like you that make it a privilege.

Henri Pachard

Holy shit!

I wrote him back:

> On 28 Nov 2002 at 15:46, Henri Pachard wrote:

>     Fuck, man; you touched my heart. It’s guys like you that will keep
>     me writing as long as I’m able.
>     It’s guys like you that make it a privilege.

Wow.  That’s heavy, man.  I’m glad you’re out there filming people fucking and writing about it.  I’ve long been a champion of yours — you had me with DMJ2 and I’ve been with you ever since — and am glad I’ve had the opportunity to tell you.

If you’re going to be in Vegas for CES (or whatever the hell we’re calling it these days) I hope our paths cross.  I’ll be the geek in the iafd.com shirt. :-) 

At the AVN Expo in 2003, I had the great pleasure of meeting him, and we had a very nice conversation about the business, the IAFD and RAME, various fan websites, fans in general, the internet, the classics, and generally mutually admiring one another.  (Which still boggles my mind.)

So, after I found those emails, I went off in search of the original article, and couldn’t find it, but I did spend WAAY too much time browsing thru the Internet Archive’s snapshot of the AVNInsider site and Pachard’s columns.  They’re well worth a visit, and that’s really the purpose of this post — go read Pachard.  (The link takes you to his first column.)

(I’d also like to take a minute to plead with someone to make these articles available somewhere else.  AVN’s current site? eBook?  Something?)

Review: Wet Titty T-Shirt Telethon (2013)

It’s been a while since we reviewed anything, but Wet Titty T-Shirt Telethon came across the screen this morning via BabyGotBoobs.com and it stars three of my current faves — Ashley GrahamAlex Chance and Noelle Easton  — who are trying their best to resuscitate Danny D who has fallen into a coma of sorts after rescuing… someone.  Who could focus with those mounds of God-given flesh prancing about?  The girls appear on a telethon as an incentive to donate and three extras answer the phones (can anyone tell us who they are? Unknown Female 288232-AUnknown Male 288232-B and Unknown Male 288232-C) while our host, played in a most entertaining manner by Unknown Male 286304 (D.D. Cola? he introduces himself as…), tries to get the phones to ring while narrating the action.


It seems the girls are going soak their giant racks as incentive to call.  For my money, they got their T-Shirts a bit too wet a bit too soon, there wasn’t ample time to tease; it was just “IT’S WET T-SHIRT TIME AGAIN!” (cue Frank Zappa) but really, the girls are bouncing and doing all the things you want three pairs of natural tits to do in clinky damp cotton, and all is more or less right in the world.

Danny wakes up enough to aim a super-soaker at the girls and get them jumping around.


There’s great slo-mo action of the girls playing with water balloons between their balloons (seriously, someone stop me with these puns!) and the girls move in for some three-way tonsil hockey.  Then the shirts come off and Danny gets himself out of the wheelchair and his erect pecker leads the way.

Long story short (almost 13 minutes in!) they start gobbling his knob in short order, and the banging can commence.

Noelle starts making out with him as Ashley is the first one to blow him.  As an aside, his dick is really huge.  Ash can have the tip in her mouth and Alex can be working his balls, and there’s no chance they’re going to bonk heads.

There’s lots of focus on breast play here, which we should expect from a site called BabyGotBoobs, but I digress…

No one is ever standing around waiting for some action, the director (Brando? Why don’t sites credit their directors!!?!) makes sure that everyone has something to do.  So while one girl is getting banged, the other two are either making out with each other, eating each other out, or otherwise involved in the action.

The rest of the scene unfolds in a pleasing way, with Ashley squirting a few times via Danny’d dicking for good measure.  Ashley is sporting a natural bush, while the other two are hairless.

There’s good variety in positions and pairings.  All the girls smile a lot and seem to be enjoying their time at work.  Ashley, who has a great rack, is a little outclassed in the size dept. by Alex and Noelle; their tits envelop Danny’s manhood, while hers can’t quite wrap around him the whole way.

There’s the obligatory three girls bend over a table while Danny works his way down, taking each in a standing doggie position; but even then, when the girls are waiting their turn, they’re kissing each other or Danny, and keeping themselves involved.  Ashley and Alex have some great (perhaps distracting, even) kissing while Danny bones Noelle from behind.

They wrap up with all three girls kneeling in front of Danny as he jerks himself off over their faces, and the movie ends with Danny thanking us for the telethon, the girls are bouncing and jumping again, and we’re left with a smile on our face.

The three actresses are favorites of mine because they’re all come across as pretty genuine and natural onscreen.  Physically, Alex and Noelle aren’t stick thin; but, let’s face it, that’s why they got the big chesticles, and that’s why I like them.  They’re real gals; they’re not put together by doctors. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that… well, maybe a little… but I shouldn’t judge…) Ashley is the most toned of the three, but she still looks like she belongs at a site called BabyGotBoobs; plus I think she’d totally fit in walking around town, wearing yoga pants and driving all the Dads wild as they take the kids for FroYo.

You can do a lot worse than this scene; and Brazzers offers a “2 Days – 1 Dollar” trial, so you can grab this scene and look around before committing.

Would You Help Vote Us an XBiz Award?

Might you consider voting for us for Best Fan Site in the XBiz Awards?

It’s pretty simple, STEP 1: just go to the voting page, choose us and VOTE!  


Then, it gets a little confusing because there’s two other steps, but no real way of knowing if they’re required to make your vote count.

Step 2 is to click the Twitter icon, and tweet out that you voted for us.  (“I just rocked the vote for @iafdcom for the 2014 @XBIZ Awards! #xbizawards xbiz.com/news/172158 “)

Step 3 is to follow @Xbiz

So, help us out — Let your voice be heard!



XBiz Awards Nominations 2014: Directing Categories

And now our annual annotated list of the XBiz Award Nominees for The 2014 XBiz Awards to be held in Los Angeles on January 24, 2014. Special thanks to Videotramp Reviewer and IAFD Editor Jamie for getting the data entered…

Director of the Year – Feature Release

Director of the Year – Non-Feature Release

Director of the Year – Parody

Director of the Year (Body of Work)

European Director of the Year

Transsexual Director of the Year

XBiz Awards Nominations 2014: Technical Production Categories

And now our annual annotated list of the XBiz Award Nominees for The 2014 XBiz Awards to be held in Los Angeles on January 24, 2014. Special thanks to Videotramp Reviewer and IAFD Editor Jamie for getting the data entered…

Best Art Direction

Best Cinematography

Best Editing

Best Special Effects

Best Music

Marketing Campaign of the Year

Screenplay of the Year