The 6th Annual Spank Bank awards are almost upon us.
The Spank Bank Awards were founded on the ideal of giving recognition to the all our favorite performers in the adult industry who may (or may not) receive the accolades they deserve from some other awards shows.
As with the other Hollywood award shows, there are too many awards to be handed out during the main ceremony, so we held a luncheon ceremony earlier in the week at an offsite location at a table for one.
The Spank Bank Technical Awards go to….
Ben & Jerry’s Favorite Butt Slut
Best Display of Twerking on a Hoverboard
Best Self Censoring of Photos
Best Use of Dimples as Semen Receptacles
More Exciting Than A Triple Overtime Stanley Cup Playoff Game 7
Most Damaged Taste Buds (Caused By Excessive Ass Eating)
Most Flawless Usage of Booty as a Car Washing Device
Most Likely To Give A Keynote Speech…While Wearing A Buttplug
Most Likely To Go Commando While Wearing a Grass Skirt
Most Likely To Seduce Your Cousin’s Girlfriend…and/or Your Uncle
Official Resident of Nipple Paradise
Tastier Than All The Timbits in Toronto Combined
The Main Reason ‘Daisy Dukes’ Remain So Enchanting
World’s Greatest Star Virtually Unknown In America
World’s Nicest Self Proclaimed ‘Super Cunt’