Category: Shooting the Bull

Trailer Porn: Lost and Found

I thought maybe I’d start a new section highlighting some of the more memorable trailers to make their away across my mediafeed.   As with mainstream movies, a good trailer can make a shitty movie look pretty good, and there’s nothing wrong with highlighting fine examples of the craft.

So kudos to the editor who cut together our inaugural entry, the trailer for New Sensations: Romance’s upcoming release Eddie Powell‘s “Lost and Found”

Initially, it looks like a Doritos ad — it captures the commerical sheen that Madison Ave ascribes to the “modern stoner” generation perfectly — but then we see Kimberly Kane and we know it’s not nachos we’re supposed to be eating. (Zing!)

The trailer sets up the plot - Allie Haze loves her dog, Xander Corvus has a crush on Allie… so a plot is hatched between Xander and his roommate Chad Alva to “borrow” Allie’s dog, so Xander can help her find it.  I suspect that some sex happens along the way (capping with an Allie/Xander pairing, perhaps?) but we’re not given any hint of it in this trailer.  Also on hand are Allie’s poster-maker friend Lexi Belle and Chad’s girlfriend played by the aforementioned Kimberly Kane (who really needs a more recent headshot on our site… must make a note to get on that…)

I have no idea how the movie is going to be, but the trailer is as shaggily charming as they come.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IymX0s3QAk

Lost and Found hits the streets on 2/28/11.

One week after AEE: introducing morbidthoughts

It’s been one week since the 2011 AVN Expo, and I am still physically fatigued. I  put  myself through this every year because the perks of meeting up with so many of my friends at one time, porn star or not, is too great. IAFD is maintained by a group of volunteers, and this is the one time a year several of us convene together in person to talk about issues regarding our website and the adult industry in general. One of the byproducts of this meeting is the following.

You may notice that this blog entry is the first post from someone other than the murky “IAFD Staff” designation. I am morbidthoughts, and the opinions I express in this blog are usually mine alone. They should not be considered endorsed by the staff especially if they end up being stupid. We have many different personalities in our group including one brilliant editor with multiple personalities *cough*Dr. Evil*cough* so we won’t always agree on everything.

Anyway, most of my contributions to IAFD has been as a reporter covering the multiple conventions and sets I visit with my colleagues, Bono One of adultdvdtalk.com and Malte of bluvista.tv. I take thousands of pretty pictures a year and  interview many people in the industry in between drinks. Because of this, I do the occasional data entry/correction on IAFD based on personal requests from them.

As for this year’s AVN convention, I had a great time even though the show shrank in half from last year by measure of exhibitors and physical space. The number of attendees remained constant though so the show was consistently busy whenever the fans were let in. I took thousands of pictures as always and managed to interview Riley Steele, Bibi Jones, and Zoe Voss. I can’t promise when they would be published though.

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Highlights outside of the show included:

  • Meeting up with the always awesome Tricia Devereaux of Evil Angel for dinner and ended up screaming at the bartenders for free shots. Also met the gorgeous Jynx Maze at the same dinner not knowing that she was Jynx Maze or even who Jynx Maze was beyond Bono One excitedly repeating her name.
  • Receiving a brief lap dance from Katie St. Ives, who is that damn cuddly and adorable in person.
  • Taking a limo with the Spieglergirls just to go to the hotel across the street on the Las Vegas Strip.
  • Watching Alexis Texas bowl to the tune of Sir Mix A Lot’s Baby Got Back.
  • Watching two-time AVN Performer of the Year, Tori Black, put the house go-go dancer at a nightclub to shame with her pole skills and energy.

The only lowlight was my camera breaking at the nightclub. Hence the blurry phone shots.

So yeah, that’s why I am still tired.

We Don’t Buy The New Astrology

Facebook was aflame with a recent article in Time Magazine which claims that there’s a 13th sign of the Zodiac.

We don’t buy it.

Don’t look for your favorite Ophuchicus pornstar, as you won’t find her here.

If these people can add a 13th horoscope, I’d like to call for a 13th month (the Simpsons’ “Smarch” will do nicely) to counteract the snow in mid-April or coatless weather on Thanksgiving that us east coasters have to face.   Smarch is just what the doctor ordered… but until I get that, no Ophuchicus.  (Or as I choose to pronounce it “O Fuck, I cuss”)

I mean, first they take away Pluto, and now this?  They’re fucking with my world view is what they’re doing, and I don’t like it!

For the “classic Zodiac” you can get your fix on the newly re-designed IAFD Astrology page.

Obligatory Christmas Post

For the past few years, we’ve been listing the Christmas themed porn, and this year isn’t much different.

Not much has been added to the database since the last list we posted that’s specifically Christmas themed… for our hetero visitors…

And for our gay friends…

But the web-content producers have certainly stepped up to fill the void…

Brazzers offers a few holiday themed tid-bits:

From Teens Like It Big, James is a depressed shopping mall Santa who hates kids, but Christmas will cum early this year, as Jayla and Teagan decide to sit on his lap.  They’ve been very naughty girls, but they’re about to teach Santa that being good is lame because being bad is so much better!

Den’s Review: Very Brazzers Christmas

Over at Big Tits at Work, it’s Christmas Eve and Ramon is about to go home to celebrate. Claudia, his boss shows up with more work for him to finish right away. Ramon is not happy but all this is just a scam to pressure him. Claudia starts to ask very intimate questions about his sex life. Felling uncomfortable, Ramon tries to leave but she threatens him and ask him to fuck the shit out of her or lose his job.  Christmas bonus, indeed!

Over at MILFs Like It Big, Emma Starr has been hired to plan Johnny’s Christmas party.  The only thing to get wrapped is her pussy around his dick!  (Can’t make this stuff up!)

Lastly, “Deck the Balls with Girls Real Naughty!”  Kortney Kane, Jessica Jaymes, Alanah Rae  over at Pornstars Like It Big sure love cock, and want nothing else for Christmas than a giant dick.  If only they would have been nice rather than naughty, maybe Santa Claus (Kieran Lee)  would have given them something better than coal.  Lucky for them, Santa is a little naughty himself, and he doesn’t mind showing them a little Christmas spirit. (And by spirit, we mean his cock.)

Naughty America’s My Sister’s Hot Friend offers up Danny Wylde and his sister’s friend Haley Cummings are spending their first Christmas away from their families. As they live in the same city, and don’t have anywhere to go, they decide to spend the day together. Danny’s made an attempt at the Christmas spirit by getting a tree and some stockings. Unfortunately the stockings look like they’re for babies, and the tiny tree looks like a blind person decorated it! At first she’s kind of bummed, but finally decides that he did try, and that he’s pretty sweet for at least attempting some decorations. Ok. They have a tree and some stockings, but now what? Sitting next to each other the sparks start to fly.  Mistletoe be damned, fucking under the tree is what these youngsters are all about!

At My Dad’s Hot Girlfriend, the Christmas party is over and everyone has passed out in a drunken stupor. Britney wakes up first and is shocked to find herself in Rocco arm’s….and wearing his shirt! And he is holding her panties! He claims they didn’t do anything, but soon rectifies that (by fucking her!)

So, that’s it.  :-)

Until next year, all of us here at the IAFD wish you all a very merry Christmas… except those of you who don’t celebrate it.  For you, we wish the greatest of Saturdays. :-)

A Crime Against Turkeys

In honor of Thanksgiving, we would point you to the plethora of porn films that tackle the subject.

But there aren’t any.

Well, we list one — A&B Gang Bang 106: Thanksgiving Gang Bang (1991) — but, like so many of the A&B titles from back then, we don’t really have that much data on it, so it hardly seems to count.

In fact, the word THANKS hardly seems to appear in porn titles at all.

But the real crime — robbing the turkey of its well deserved spotlight — was committed when VCA cut the “Jerry Butler fucking the turkey” scene out of Raw Talent when they released the movie on DVD.  So all we are left with is Jerry Butler gazing longingly at the turkey, and then serving the old lady her sandwich on which “he didn’t forget the mayo.”  And for that, we must struggle to give thanks.

Happy Thanksgiving from your pals at IAFD.