Today on Spice Radio: On Golden Blonde (1984)

Today on Spice Radio’s YouPorn (SiriusXM 103 at 2:30 PM Eastern / 11:30 AM Pacific) we’ll be talking about On Golden Blonde, the first movie that Christy Canyon and Ginger Lynn did together — even tho they shared no scenes; that would be saved for Night Of Loving Dangerously, which was shot around the same time.

First, the video I watched for this review was streamed from HotMovies, and it’s only 60 minutes long, and the original VHS boxcover states it’s approx 83 minutes, and our original running time is 80 minutes, so there seems to be 20 minutes or so missing.  Anyone know where or why?

Since I don’t have a VHS or DVD copy of this handy, this review is of a HEAVILY EDITED video and reflects as much.

The movie starts with a swinging little waltz and we meet Alice (Christy Canyon) and a James-Mason-as-Mr.-Jordan-esque angel (William Black) and she’s being told she’s dead, but was taken before her time.  I wish I could say nice things about the dialogue or delivery here, but it’s very evident this was a very young Christy who was not yet the experienced performer we’ve come to know and love, and her acting is well… overshadowed by her bra-less jogging that follows a few moments later.  Turns out, Alice was jogging in the park and sat down in front of a tree and was taken by mistake… someone else was supposed to sit in front of that tree moments later, but heaven jumped the gun and took Alice instead, in what was a rather laughable “head droops over in death” action.

So, she is offered a bunch of other bodies to inhabit since her family has already buried her and she can’t be rising from the dead.  This upsets her because “I’m an archaeologist, and that’s all I ever wanted to do!”  (What one has to do with the other is not clear.)

(This whole sequence is shot from a low angle looking up at the performers, and it’s not particularly flattering to either of them.)

The Angel suggests they get a move on, and we dissolve to Christy in bed with Marc Wallice.  It’s not clear why it’s Christy in bed, and not one of the bodies she’s meant to inhabit, but she looks so yummy in the bed, it hardly matters.  Marc spends quite a while (5+ minutes out of a 9+ minute scene) eating her out, and the camera lingers on his chin and Christy’s twat, when the better subject might have been the rest of her in the throes of passion… she turns around and starts sucking him off for all of 15 seconds and then mounts him reverse cowgirl.  She strips off her negligee and rides him.  If there ever was a girl made for reverse cowgirl, it’s an 18 year old Christy Canyon. We don’t get to see Christy head-on, but we see the cowgirl in profile, as if the cameraman didn’t have room at the foot of the bed (but, in hindsight, it seems to be an editing choice to hide the penetration).   She then turns around and rides him some more.  There’s a few glances directly into the camera, which is a motif that will play out a bit more later. Finally, Marc lays her on her back and titfucks her for a spell, and gives her a pearl necklace.

Cut to Alice and Angel watching Ginger Lynn having an argument with her fiancee Tom Byron in front of the maid Janey Robbins.  He’s asked for some sort of sex, and Ginger is appalled at the suggestion.  Alice is appalled at (a) the thought of having to inhabit a prude’s body and (b) that the prude is blonde.  The Angel assures her it’s just for a few days, since Ginger is scheduled to meet her own tragic end a few days hence. And then *blink!* Christy disappears and Ginger asks the Angel (to Tom’s confusion) how she looks.  Angel says “great, see you in a few days” and he disappears as well.

Lucky for Tom, he’s got a slutty archeologist taking over his fiancee’s body because she’s all excited about giving him some head.  Tom has the most scenes of any actor with Ginger, and it’s clear why — they’ve got some chemistry.. but it’s hard to find since there are so many disjointed cuts.  (I assume this is where some of the 20 minutes went.)  We don’t really see Tom cum on Ginger’s face or him fuck her standing doggie.  Angel comes back and Ginger has a conversation with him that Tom doesn’t understand (“Does it have to be so short?” Ginger asks the Angel; but Tom — thinking she’s talking to him — apologizes for his cock size.  It’s a pretty labored set up.)

Ginger asks for the maid and tells to eat her out.  Instead of filing a harassment suit, she muff dives in.  She makes her way over to Tom’s cock, sucking him off until he’s hard again, and then we see Tom fucking her doggie style, but not really, since we cut away right away to Ginger’s finger’s exploring her own snatch.  Then we see Janey looking right into the camera, and there’s what can only be described as a “cable angle” of the sex.  Since we know that Janey has anal sex in the movie, I wonder if this edit is somehow cutting around that fact and focussing on Janey’s face and Ginger’s fingers.  All of a sudden, we see Tom’s dick dripping cum over Janey’s ass.  Strange.  I can’t quite figure out why things were re-edited this way.  (Vidcaps show off some of the missing footage, including  a facial for Ginger from Tom and what appears to be a great double BJ from Ginger and Janey.)

Alice leaves with the Angel, letting Ginger wake up frightened with Tom and Janey laying on her.

Alice an Angel then appear in an apartment where Jamie Gillis and Peter North are fighting over Gina Carrera.  Alice takes over Gina’s body and strips down, which makes the guys strip down.  There’s a very funny half-a-second where Jamie and Peter realize they’re both naked (having been fighting moments earlier) and they’ve probably never been naked in front of each other before.

Gina kneels down in front of them and takes a cock in each hand sucks them both until they’re hard as rocks, then Jamie fucks her missionary while Peter nibbles on her tit; but Jamie isn’t particularly spirited, just some pumps.  She rolls over to blow Peter while Jamie eats her out from behind, and then another weird cut as Jamie makes his O face, but we don’t see him cum, nor do we see Peter’s cumshot as she jerks hium off all over his belly.  We do briefly see some post-cum head clean up and the remains of Jamie’s baby batter on her ass…

Later, Gina is poolside as Dino Alexander is cleaning it, and she goes right for the fellatio.  He does not put up a fight.  He eats her out until she orgasms and then he fucks her; but we don’t see any penetration.  What is this weird cable soft/hard hybrid?! He throws a missionary hump into her for awhile and then they move to doggie, where he cums on her ass.  He seems to move her into another position to keep the action going, but we cut away from it to get back to Alice’s story.

Angel takes her to a hospital where Chanel Lindsay, an archaeologist named Miriam (a blonde!), is recovering from a head trauma and her doctor (and future husband, Angel tells us)  Peter Moss is shocked to hear her talking. She suggests they leave and go fuck, so they do in a garishly wallpapered room, where he throws an energetic doggie style hump into her. She meets his every thrust, and he puts her on her back so he can eat her out.  Apparently, this weird editing style has no issue with focusing for extended periods of time on tongues and vaginas. They end up in missionary, where all thrusting is kept close, and he pulls out and cums on her box (so it seems).

Legend has it (see below) that Tom Byron stunt dicked for Peter Moss in this scene, but you can’t tell in this chopped up version.

Then we see the Angel one more time, and he’s telling us he’ll see us soon — some of us sooner than others.

It is difficult to judge this movie in its current form any other way than harshly.  Not that in its unedited form it would be too much better, but at least seeing the sex and more of the cumshots would raise the heat factor.

Christy looks great here, as does Ginger.  Really, they’re awesome.  Ginger pulls the acting off better than Christy does.  They story is weak and doesn’t make a ton of sense on its own; motivations are murky.  It’s ripping off Heaven Can Wait, but not very well, and with very little of the humor.  Even though our lead gals look great, I was hoping to like this movie a lot more than I did.

Jimmy over at  Golden Sin Palace said this about it, and it’s not a hard position to defend:

So except for the memories of my youth this film has nothing special and certainly does not deserve a positive recommendation. One thing is certain, it was much easier to please me when I was 16 years old  than now at 40.

Having said that, IAFD Editor Jamie had this to say after reading a draft of this review:

You didn’t mention the nasty line of shit running out of Janey’s ass when Tom pulled out. Or that he came three times in one scene or that he stunt dicked for Peter Moss in the Chanel Lindsay scene.

 Tom was a busy boy on that movie.
I love On Golden Blonde, even today.
Over in the facebook group, Adult Films 1968-1988, Scott chimed in:
I have a mediocre quality digital copy taken from a 28 year old VHS tape. It runs exactly 1:19:40. The Tom Byron / Janey Robbins scene is intact. The tape was released by Paradise Visuals, so if it was edited, it was after their release.
Well, it was waaaay edited… and not to its betterment.

Today on Spice Radio: Ten Little Maidens (1985)

Whatever Ginger wants, Ginger gets…

At Ginger’s request, today on Spice Radio XM103’s YouPorn, we’ll be talking about Ten Little Maidens, a semi-hard to find John Seeman film from 1985.  The film is loosely based on Agatha Christie’s And Then There Were None (later remade as Ten Little Indians) where a group of people are sent to Indian Island and accused of murders.

Our movie starts on a more light-hearted note, with Kitten Natividad as a mail carrier going on her appointed rounds.  She stops at Harry Reems‘ house and she can’t but notice that he’s eating Ginger Lynn out on the couch.  Kitten can’t help but try to hit them with their mail as she peeps through the mail slot.  (Who could resist?)

Harry is eating Ginger out as he gets hit with the mail, then moves to a quick bout of fucking before Ginger returns the oral favor.  Lots of smiles from both parties throughout the blowjob.  Ginger is in her prime and Harry can’t shut up during the scene — “Look at that little mouth!” — but she gets him hard again before she lowers herself down on his cock for some cowgirl.  She gyrates her hips around before going face down on the couch so Harry can take her side-saddle doggie style.  There are some odd cuts of Kitten’s eyes peeping in intercut throughout. Ginger lets out these great little squeals as she’s getting fucked and finally Harry pulls out and jerks off all over back, hitting her hair.

They have a little snuggle afterwards and then Harry starts going through the mail — all bills — until he reads a letter offering an all-expenses paid trip to a “little ole island paradise” “You are herewith cordially invited to an all-expense paid erotic orgy to be held on Bacchanale Island on the weekend of May the seventh …  In anticipation of your acceptance, I have enclosed airline tickets for both of you and a friend of your choice.  Upon your arrival, a boat will be awaiting  you at Marina del Sol for your passage to my island of sensual pleasures.  I, my wife and my staff look forward to your joining on this most auspicious occasion.”

And they’re off!

There’s a sailing montage as they get to out the island of Harry and Ginger snuggling on the boat as a female vocalist sings on the soundtrack.  Harry and Ginger ooze an easy chemistry, with a lot of smiles and good vibes.  Eventually the snuggling and good times heats up as Ginger pulls out his cock and starts giving it a sucking as the captain tries not to look too interested in the proceedings…  there’s a lot of good eye contact in the blowjob, but it comes to an abrupt end as they approach the island.  Renfro (Jamie Gillis) approaches in a Zodiac, boards the yacht and welcomes them by name to the island.  Harry is somewhat taken aback as he didn’t pass along Ginger’s name, but Jamie explains the master of the house likes to know who his guests are.  Jamie grudgingly carries the bags up a steep hill, and when they arrive at the house, they are introduced to  the maid, Tabitha (Nina Hartley), who shows them to their room.

Harry asks Nina about the other guests, but she doesn’t know about any other guests.  This strikes Harry as odd.  They find some other folks lounging and swimming by the pool, but ominous chords on the soundtrack and a mysterious person pulling down a window shade let us know something might not quite be right.  Ginger excuses herself to take a shower as Harry goes out to get the lay of the land.

More peeping as we see Ginger, naked in the bathroom, through a peephole.  She lathers herself up in the shower when Janey Robbins comes in and grabs her ass.  She thinks it’s Harry and gasps when she turns around to see that it’s not.  She puts up no fight when Janey climbs in the shower with her, and soon the two are really getting to know one another.  This is a quick scene with no real payoff.

Cut to the kitchen where Nina is putting some chickens into the oven while Jamie tries to eat her ass.  To give him something to do, she gives him one of the chickens, and Jamie fucks it while staring at Nina’s ass.  Nina keeps swatting him away, and he finally cums on the chicken, much to Nina’s amusement as she puts it back in the oven.

Ginger is getting dressed for dinner in a costume provided for her, and shows Harry this dildo that she slides up inside her and pulls her panties up over.

As everyone sits around the table in strange costumes that reveal quite a bit of themselves, a mysterious hand presses PLAY on a cassette deck and we hear the voice of their host, Mr. U.N. Seen apologize for not making the erotic gathering after all, but, rest assured, that they will feel his presence as festivities progress, and in his absence Tabitha and Renfro will be able to sate their every thirst.

There are ten statues of naked women around the room, “you know, the Ten Little Maidens, from the erotic nursery rhyme!” says Amber Lynn to Eric Edwards as she is grazing the inside of his thigh.

Ginger asks Jamie for some salad dressing and he offers creamy Italian, which of course, he takes to the kitchen and jerks off on the salad.  Everyone around the table starts to get turned on by the food, and it turns into a giant food orgy.  The couples seem to be Harry and Ginger, Paul Thomas and Amber LynnRichard Pacheco and Janey Robbins, and Eric Edwards and Lisa De Leeuw.

Harry starts giving Janey the eye, and PT and Amber start eating in a viciously seductive way, taking bites of their chicken, and then the orgy begins.

Ginger starts sucking Pacheco while Eric and Lisa are going crazy over a corncob.  PT starts in on Amber’s tits, pouring wine all over them.  Janet shoves Pacheco’s cock into a peach and then gives him head while Amber fellates a cucumber.  Ginger is trying to suck Harry to hardness, while Lisa does the same to Eric.  Jamie and Nina come in and join the fun.  Jamie starts sicking a pig’s snout as Nina dives into Lisa’s bush.  Jamie goes back and forth licking the pig, then licking Amber’s ass.

Nina is eating Ginger while Pacheco fucks Janey while she blows Harry.  Ginger is also masturbating with a corncob.  Harry, on the table,  leaves Janey and turns his attention to Amber who is sucking him while PT fucks her.  Jamie takes amber off the table, lays the sucking pig on her back and starts fucking her and shoving grapes into her mouth as everyone else cums on their partners.  Jamie then eats Amber and licks the pig, finally cumming on the pig’s snout and Amber’s twat.  Harry them cums on Amber’s tits.

After dinner, Eric toasts his host and hostess in their absence, and the mysterious hand press play on a tape from an envelope marked “After Dinner”

On the tape, Mr. Seen announces that no one will leave the island alive, as they’ve all led evil, erotically charged lives, and it is time for them to pay for their crimes.  Right after the tape is over, Pacheco collapses, and PT determines that Pacheco was poisoned by arsenic.  Janey is nonplussed and heads off to bed and Eric follows her up.  Harry and Ginger follow suit, leaving PT kneeling over the body.

Up in their room, Janey has Eric tied spread-eagle onto a bench made specially for that task and is blowing him.  She swallows him down to the root a few times, then climbs on reverse cowgirl, her nipple piercings swaying with each bounce.  Eyes appear behind a painting, and there’s a knock at the door.  She dismounts and lets Amber in as the eyes continue to watch through the painting.  Eric makes his dick stand up when Amber comes in, which makes her happy, since it’s polite to stand when a lady enters the room.

Amber sits herself down and Janey grabs a banana and inserts it into Amber, who then takes over and uses it as a dildo as Janey covers Eric’s cock with whipped cream, and then sprinkles some nuts on it, which seems redundant.  Janey then instructs her to stand over Eric so he can eat the banana while Amber eats his banana.  (Symmetry!)  Eric is mostly soft through this scene, but Amber does her best to cover up that fact.  Janey then covers Amber’s buttcheeks with whipped cream and she goes to town cleaning it off, while Eric focuses on Amber’s snatch.  Janey makes Amber sit up, freeing up Eric’s dick so Janey can ride it, while putting whipped cream on Amber’s tits which she licks off.  Finally, we cut to a dick cumming, but it is very difficult to put the dick in context.  It looks like it is in a bunch of whipped cream, but it’s abstract at best.

The next morning, Nina is sweeping the pool deck when she discovers Jamie’s dead body with a rubber duck stuck on his cock.  Harry deduces he died of strangulation based on how tightly the duck is on his cock.  He and Ginger make their way to the dining room where the find a broken statue.  PT hatches a plan to find their assailant.

We next see Eric pulling Amber’s body out of the pool.  “Oh no!  Not Candy!  What a waste!” (He grabs a skimmer) “Come here little fishy!”

PT and Nina finish searching the house, and PT does his best Cary Grant into a mirror prompting Nina to exclaim “What a great Peter Lorre!”

Her grieving is over as she determines the best course of action is a siesta seducing PT.  Nina’s marvelous ass is on nicely on display here as she blows PT; but we see someone looking at them thru a one-way mirror.  The cocksucking is brief, but only so she can dance and show off her ass more and its wonderful tan line. She rides PT briefly on the canopy bed before he takes her doggie style. They have a brief but vigorous shag, and he throws her off the bed as he jerks off.  He collapes on the bed after he cums, and the canopy falls on him and kills him.

Cut to Nina cleaning up the remnants of another broken maiden.

Nina is scared to be alone, so she and Janey go up to her room and have a go at things. Janey ties a bandana around Nina’s next and puts a cowboy hat on her and has her enter a cage and ride a white fur spring mounted saddle with a dildo attached.  Janey wraps her breasts around a pole and plays with her nipples so the rings clink together; and then we see someone else peeking in through a hole in the wall.

Cut to Harry and Ginger releasing some tension in the sauna.  Lots of kissing here as Harry massages her breasts.  I don’t know if Ginger ever looked better.  Harry slides a finger down to her clit and makes nice while making out with her.  He works his mouth down there as she lays back and enjoys it.

Back to Janey and Nina, and Janey now has a snake wrapped around her, as she makes Nina ride harder and harder so she can cum.  As Nina’s riding, she begins to notice the snake wrapping itself tighter around Janey…

Back in the sauna, Ginger is blowing Harry, and in the bedroom, Nina and Janey have moved onto the bed, and the snake is nowhere to be found., but they do find a double dildo-vibrator which they use… until it electrocutes them.  (D’oh!)

In the sauna, Harry has Ginger in a standing 69 that doesn’t last nearly long enough, as a hand sneakily turns the thermostat up, causing steam to rise as they’re going at it doggie style.  Steam obscures the frame, and we hear a cat meow… since we hear the cat meow after every death so far, we have to assume that our leads are dead…

Lisa bursts into the bedroom where Eric waits out an electrical storm handling a gun.  When there’s nothing to do but wait, the only thing to do is fellate, and Lisa goes to town on Eric’s cock.  No wood problems here.  She takes him off the bed, opens her robe, and lies back on a chair.  He massages her great tits for a bit before moving downtown.  He gets a weird taste, as he remembers a story PT told about how the French women in WWII would put arsenic on their genitals killing the man who eats them out.

Lisa knocks over a maiden and has a glass of wine when Harry and Ginger burst in, much to Lisa’s dismay.  She blathers for a moment about how they’re all immoral and deserve to die before she drinks some poisoned wine and offs herself.

Harry and Ginger jump in the Zodiac and head back out to the yacht which takes them back to the mainland.

The End.

To be honest, I was hoping for a bit more from the movie.  All the sex scenes seemed too short and not particularly paced well.  There were moments in all of the sex scenes which were good, but they never really lasted.  Thus the problem shoehorning 10 scenes and plot into an 84 minute film (more like 80 when you take out the credits.)

This could be considered a parody, tho I think it more of an homage.  It sticks pretty close to the story laid out in And Then There Were None, tho with sex and a bit more humor.

We were a little rushed this week, since it was my first time on with Christy, so next week, we’ll be on at 11:30 AM Pacific / 2:30 PM  Eastern for a half hour chatting about  Christy and my favorite movie of hers, Comeback.

Tonight On Playboy Radio: RIP Nightcalls

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end..”

I was away this week, but got an email from the always delightful Sexy Lexi, associate producer of NightCalls, saying that word came down and the show was cancelled.

This made me sad.

I liked the show and I liked being a part of it.  I liked chatting with Debi and Nicki every Thursday night, and the giuest hosts they’d have on every so often.  Never got a ton of feedback on my appearances, but occasionally I’d get a tweet or two about it, so I knew someone was listening.  I also liked revisiting the adult movies from my youth — or the ones I liked anyway.

Rest assured, there’s a silver lining!  Lexi also passed on the good news that (a) she was promoted and now she’s the Producer of YouPorn on Spice Radio (Sirius XM103) and (b) she’d like me to continue doing the classic adult reviews I was doing on NightCalls over at YouPorn with Ginger Lynn and Christy Canyon.

Needless to say, I jumped at the chance.  So, we’ve got ourselves a schedule change — instead of Thursdays at 7:40EST on XM 102, I’ll be on Wednesdays at 2:40PM on XM103.  One day and five hours earlier, and one channel higher on your satellite dial.

We’re starting next week, the 27th.  I have no idea what we’re going to talk about — I suspect it’ll just be a “get to know you” session.  I was lucky enough to be on YouPorn back in January at AEE, and I look forward to making it my new regular gig.

(And really, I get to chat every week with Christy and Ginger?  It’s (almost) like my 16 year old self just won the lottery… )

So, look forward to “Today on YouPorn…” coming soon.

Tonight on Playboy Radio: Ginger Lynn: The Movie (1988)

Tonight on Playboy Radio’s Nightcalls with Debi Diamond and guest host Kelly Shibari, we’ll be chatting about the 1988 (compilation) flick, Ginger Lynn: The Movie.  Due to a some scheduling on my end, we’ll be on 45 minutes earlier, at 7:00 PM Eastern (4:00 PM Pacific) as opposed to our regular time.

Compilation flick?  Wha?

Paradise Visuals was one of the leading adult studios in the mid-80s and they had a three-picture “deal” with Traci Lords.  (She appeared in three shot-on-video movies for them, plus a comp (Girls of Paradise) and they used a g/g scene of hers in Whore of the Worlds as well.)

Traci was arguably the biggest star at the time, but running a close second, if not arguably first, was Ginger Lynn.  So Paradise scored quite a coup when they were able to cast both Traci and Ginger in the same movies.  Having both of the biggest stars in the world in the movie was pretty much a license to print money.

Once Traci’s scandal broke, all those movies needed to be pulled from the shelves, so in 1986, we lost those three movies and the awesome scenes that didn’t feature Ms. Lords… and Paradise lost a cash machine.

Fast forward a couple years, and the good folks over at PV say “Hey, you know… if we edit the movies so Traci’s not in them, we don’t have much… but we can take the leftovers that feature Ginger and make a new movie!”  And that they did.

They took scenes from Those Young Girls (1984)Night Of Loving Dangerously (1984) and Lust in the Fast Lane (1984) and edited them together to make Ginger Lynn; The Movie.

This movie is also notable for giving us access to two AWESOME Christy Canyon scenes from her debut, which we would have lost to the (under)ages had they not been repackaged here.

The first three scenes are from “Those Young Girls.”  That movie was written by Ginger, and based on her experiences breaking into porn.  It’s a jokey script — she meets with agent John Holmes who asks if she has a portfolio, and she says she got her (immunization) shots in high school — but personality (and Ginger’s undeniable cuteness) goes a long way…

Things get underway with Ginger naked on John’s desk, fellating a banana and saying “lunch is served.”  He then dives in and eats.  (Who wouldn’t?!?)  Ginger bucks her hips and grinds into his face before dropping to her knees.  Seeing Holmes’ manhood fall out of his pants as he pulls down his jeans is still something to behold.  She laughs, not quite sure what to do with the turgid meat, and he guides her head in to do the job.  His cock is floppy, as it often was by this point in his career, but she manages to coax half a stiffy out of him. He lays her on the desk and drops his cock into her mouth as he fingers her.  It’s a pretty hot position and it shows off her body pretty well until he strokes a nice load onto her face which she cleans up like a champ.  They cuddle bit and then Ginger finds her way onto a set.

The stills guy (nice socks!) gets her acclimated, she takes off her robe revealing a pretty conservative negligee (by today’s standards, anyway).  The camera cuts to her close up, and she looks flawless.  It is not hard to believe what a star she was back then… so the second scene is just Ginger posing around a bed.

We cut back to John Holmes making a deal for Ginger to appear in a music video, as he has her under contract.

The next scene is a rather silly music video, with Harry Reems (who had to have been 40+ at the time) in silly “punk” makeup, along with Ginger with a fauxhawk and yellow lace gloves.  There’s a driving synth tune on the sound track, jump cuts and video transitions that were all the rage back then.  Since they’re both naked, I’m not sure what the market for this video was supposed to be… you can FF through it without missing too much except some prolonged tongue kissing which is then unceremoneously cut away from for a dialogue scene where he explains that its a bad idea for them to get together.

Cut to his bedroom, they’re drinking wine and trying to come up with a name, and they settle on Ginger Lynn, and she plants a big one on his lips, and then after some faint protest, she’s blowing him and he’s eating her out.  She crawls off his face and slides him up in her for some reverse cowgirl.  RC is perhaps my favorite porn position, as it really shows off the girl’s physique, and let’s her control the sex.  Ginger gyrates her hips around on his cock which is a wonderful visual.  Harry then throws her on her back, and starts a vigorous pounding before cycling thru two quick positions – side saddle then doggie, where he pulls out and cums (in ridiculous slo-mo) on her ass, finally wrapping her in a giant hug which carries a startling amount of warmth in it…

So ends our journey with Those Young Girls, and we move into Night of Loving Dangerously, with a poorly grayed Peter North driving in a car while a voice over (not Peter) establishes him as a producer out to meet Ginger… so we’ve moved from a strict comp to the thinnest of a new story.  Let’s see how they do.

(In this review of NOLD, The Fool sums up the plot thusly: “It’s a murder mystery story, where Christy Canyon, who appears in more than just sex scenes, is “Louise Harrison”, daughter of Chairman of the Board, Jamie GillisPeter North is a former cop and former husband of Traci Lords, and his ex-wife Traci calls him to investigate a blackmail plot against Louise’s father, Jamie Gillis, whom Traci is about to marry…”  How this will fit into “Ginger is an up and coming adult film star” story remains to be seen… we return to our story…)

Peter enters a house and asks if nayone is home.  Ginger and Christy are home, having a little fun of their own.  A brief g/g scene ensues with a lot of kissing and some scissoring.  We cut to Peter standing in the doorway, clapping, asking if they know “any more good tricks.”

Another mystery voiceover tells us that Ginger’s career was really taking off, as evidenced by the doggie style fucking Tom Byron is giving her.  At this point, we’re in our third movie, Lust in the Fast Lane, where we’ll stay for the next few scenes.

So Tom and Ginger are fucking, and then Tom pulls out and splashes on her ass and without explanation, Ginger is now sucking another cock, this time belonging to while Marc Wallice is working a finger up her ass.

When we open a wide shot, we see the room is full of people fucking, that there’s at least four pairings going on — Eric Edwards and Beverly BlissCrystal Breeze with Tom Byron (cocksucking, titfucking); Sheri St. Clair with  and Ginger with Marc Wallice and David Sanders (They spend a bit of time FUCKING HER ARMPITS. Seeing her with two cockheads poking out of her arms is not all that erotic, really… but they get point for being novel…)

(The scene is a horrible mess of editing. They end with each of the four corners of the frame filled with a different cumshot.  They finally break out for Marc dumping a giant load on Ginger’s face, but the scene is shot so close-up, there’s very little impact.  A horribly missed opportunity.)

The orgy continues a bit more with Beverly BlissCrystal Breeze and Sheri St. Clair working on Tom Byron. Beverly gives Tom a pretty awesome handjob, while Sheri pleasures Crystal.  Sheri was one of my favorite mid-80s performers.  Tom eventually lays Beverly down for a little buggering before he fucks Sheri St. Clair and cums virtually in her, pulling out at the last moment…


… so we end our time with Lust in the Fast Lane, and we wrap up with two scenes from Night of Loving Dangerously.

As an aside, NoLD is widely considered to be Christy’s debut.  She made some loops beforehand and did the modelling, but this was the movie that put her on the map… and soured her on facials forever.

The first has Ginger sucking Jamie Gillis’ cock and then Christy comes in for some loving.  Jamie fucks Christy while Ginger helps pleasure her with her fingers.  Then it’s Ginger’s turn to climb on top and they make one of my favorite porn positions – the triangle.  Ginger rides Jamie’s cock; Christy rides Jamie’s face and the girls kiss.  This is WAY TOO SHORT-LIVED before Ginger and Christy are 69ing, and Jamie is fucking Christy doggie. Jamie flips Ginger over and fucks her butt for a spell, first side saddle, then reverse cowgirl.  Then, as the moment of climax nears, he pushes Ginger onto her stomach, pulls out and starts jerking off while Christy is hovering over the small of Ginger’s back shooting glances off-camera and flinching every time Ginger bucks her hips.  It’s a pretty natural reaction, far from the pro that Christy matured into. Finally he starts cumming and Christy’s brought into the line of fire.  It’s pretty obvious she’s not into it, but she’s being a spot, glancing off camera for what seems to be a combination of “Help?” and “I’m a team player!”  It’s a little unsettling knowing the story behind it, but before I knew the story it was hot.

We spoke about this incident on the show back in January while we were discussing Black Throat.  Christy was not expecting Jamie to pull out of Ginger and shove his cum at her face, but that’s what he did, and it ruined her off facials for most of her career.

“… and right after high school, and no one ever came in my mouth. So suddenly, there I am at 18 and 3 months old, and some guy — Jamie Gillis – pulls out of Ginger’s ass, open like  ‘Christy, open your mouth, open your mouth!’ and I open my mouth, not even knowing, really, what was happening, but it was kind of fun up until then… and then this whole load just shoots in my mouth, and I just remember it was bitter and it smelled like Clorox Bleach, it was wrong and nasty, and they’re like FILMING IT! all of a sudden, I thought I was going to throw up… the smell was 10 times worse than my spray tan the other day; the stench was like acid… but that one first mouth loud wasn’t very good at all, and it kind of turned me off.”

So there’s that.

Finally, the last scene of the movie is a classic.  Ginger approaches Peter, “Hello, Mr. Shannon.”  He replies, “Hello (audio muted)” (Her name was “Louise” in NoLD, but “Ginger” in our story here, so we’ll get around it by introducing an audio drop out.  In the filmmakers’ defense, they could have left “Louise” in, but they were trying to tell a new story clearly, so they didn’t want to confuse things.) She asks if he’s hungry and he says he can handle a “bite or two” — of her hair pie!

And they go to town on a poolside lounge chair.  He eats her for a little bit, then she returns the favor, really showing off her cocksucking talents.  Then — awkward! – Christy stumbles upon the scene, and to avoid anything weird, she jumps out of her dress and starts sucking his cock instead.  The two girls then spend some time sharing Peter’s peter orally until Peter pulls Christy up to him to make out a little and give her massive boobs a massage.  He then lies her on the chair and lays her while Ginger stand by waiting for their position to change to doggie, so she could make love to Christy’s chest as they sway to and fro.  Finally, Peterpulls out of Christy and Ginger jerks him off onto Christy’s ass, lapping up all of his baby batter (TM Rog).

The final title card:


but for Ginger, it was just the beginning…

Credit then to the editors, Charles Watkins, Abe Steinbeck and Victor Nichols.

A worthwhile movie to see some classic Ginger Lynn action.  Well worth checking out.

Ginger is selling an autographed copy of the VHS tape on her site…



Tonight on Playboy Radio: New Wave Hookers (1985)

Tonight on Playboy Radio, we talked about New Wave Hookers, Greg Dark’s not-first film (I thought it was his first, it wasn’t; it was probably his second or third; “Let Me Tell Ya Bout White Chicks” came first…)

New Wave Hookers was a milestone of its time – called Hustler’s Film of the Year for 1985 — because it featured hot starlet of the day Traci Lords on the cover (Ginger Lynn is pictured on the DVD cover) and Ginger Lynn had a DP in it. Up until this point, girls as hot at Ginger didn’t do things like DPs, that was left to a, er, skankier class of performer; but Ginger came in and said “Hot girls can get dirty too!” and went on to change the industry forever. There was a rawness to this movie which wasn’t seen elsewhere at the time and that helped it to stand apart.

But, since this movie was made pre-1987 (i.e while Traci was underage) all copies of it had to be recalled and pulled from retailer’s shelves at great cost — both financial and criminal — and the movie was re-cut and re-released, the changes being a re-edit of the opening credits to excise Traci from the parade of New Wave Hookers and a total elimination of her one scene in the movie.

However, since the movie is largely a series of disconnected scenes, cutting her out of the movie was no great feat, unlike the poor folks behind Talk Dirty to Me 3 who had to reshoot LARGE parts of the story with Lisa De Leeuw taking Traci’s part.

The basic story behind the movie is two guys Jamie Gillis and Jack Baker lamenting the fact that they have no girls and that pimps must get a ton of pussy. They fall asleep in front of the TV and wake (?) to find themselves as pimps who will program their ho’s to fuck to the sound of New Wave music. Oddly, Jamie Gillis’ pimp has an offensive Japanese accent throughout.

The production values are minimal. Filing cabinets are made out of cardboard. The rest is pretty bizarre. Steve Powers, a Dark Bros. favorite, plays the office dog, complete with collar and toys to play with. (Not that this stops him from helping his master fuck Desiree Lane when she shows up to join the stable of New Wave Hookers.)

The standout scene is Ginger Lynn‘s pairing with Steve Powers (now graduated to nerd from dog) and Tom Byron (just a nerd). They call for a New Wave Hooker to come service them, and this is where Ms. Lynn performs the aforementioned DP. The whole scene is great and worth renting the movie for.

The rest of the pairings are good, in an odd way. Kristara Barrington controls the second half of the film, fucking Jamie, Jack and Steve Powers.

The film ends with the girls on a merry-go-round; Kristara is with Jamie and Steve Powers; Desiree Lane is back with Steve Drake and go at it; and Gina Carrera and Greg Rome go for a ride as well.

The movie ends with Jack and Jamie waking up and Jamie heading home. On the street, he sees Kristara who acts as if she knows him… so was it all a dream or not?

The last thing about the film that sticks with me to this day via my iPod is the theme song. The Plugz (AllMusic listing) were a Southern California Latino punk band led by Tito Larriva, and their song Electrify Me was tapped to be the theme to most of the movies in the New Wave Hookers series. It’s appeared on “Ranking & Skanking – The Best of Punky Reggae” compilation which is where I finally found it since their original albums are long out of print. According to YouTube, the version used in the movie is quite a bit faster than the version that appears on the Rhino compilation CD and the video below (which features the original cover art)… but it might be a tape speed issue…

FUN TRIVIA: Tito Larriva appeared as Hammy in the original production of The Pee Wee Herman Show — the tape of original show Paul Reubens did at the Roxy that eventually became his TV show…