Today on Radio Sex: Pee-Wee’s XXX Adventure: A Porn Parody (2012)

peeweeToday on Radio Sex’s YouPorn (Sirius XM 103 @ 2:40PM eastern) I’ll be on with Christy and Ginger talking about B. Skow‘s parody classic, Pee-Wee’s XXX Adventure: A Porn Parody in honor of the day’s guest, Evan Stone, who plays just short of a thousand roles (Francis, The Rastafarian Dildo Store Owner (where’s the Danny Mountain yellowface outrage?), Large Marge, Not-Tequila Biker, and an Ashmatic Porn Director)  in the movie.

I haven’t had time to write up a review, so our good pal Roger T. Pipe has been nice enough to loan us his, as I tend to agree with his assessments:

MOVIE TYPE: Parody
127 Mins.
Vivid
DIRECTOR: B. Skow
THEMES: Parody, Strippers, Sluts
CONDOMS: None

STARS: Capri Anderson, Tommy Pistol, Aiden Starr, Jada Fire, Lea Lexus, Barry Scott, Jerry, John Strong, Lucas Stone, Tom Byron, Evan Stone

REVIEW-

Seriously? A Pee Wee Herman porn parody? Oh why the fuck not? Well, mostly because it’s not the sort of movie that has built-in sex appeal. Unless people were just sitting around stroking to Pee Wee and that’s just twisted. (Though some of us remember that Elizabeth Daily was a serious piece of ass.) Facing that kind of challenge, director B Skow uses the strength of the Tim Burton classic to his advantage. It may not be sexually hot, but Pee Wee’s Big Adventure is filled with hilarious moments and memorable characters. Playing to that strength he has Tommy Pistol in the lead role. Fresh of the best acting performance of 2012 (Awards or not) in Taxi Driver, Tommy is every bit as good in this one. He is a perfect Pee Wee, funny, silly and eventually creepy as hell. Even the look of the movie is as off-putting as Burton’s original.

The script is funny, using XXX versions of some of the same jokes from the original. Pistol is brilliant and really fun to watch. Sexually the movie is all right.

I liked what they did with the script to make it work for a XXX parody.

Aiden Aspen plays “Dolly”, Pee Wee’s love doll who comes to life (or does she?) and ultimately gets kidnapped. She’s very good and just mechanical enough to work. Capri Anderson is the stripper who loves Pee Wee. She fucks John Strong and then Tommy in the finale. Capri is great for eye candy and pretty energetic in both of her scenes. The two side scenes are interesting and hot. Jada Fire fucks Evan Stone and Tom Byron. It is funny, but would have been hotter with a little more room for everyone to work. Lea Lexus takes on three cocks in a bar. Her scene is probably the best of the bunch. Overall this is a really entertaining parody. Pistol should earn himself another best actor nod and B Skow has made a better than one would expect sex flick out of a movie that had no business being turned into one.

Aiden Starr & Tommy Pistol

After a very long good morning segment that features some funny moments and some that make you think you should be doing anything but watching this movie, Pee Wee heads up stairs to hook up with Dolly. (Aiden Starr) As her name and make up make clear, Dolly is Pee Wee’s animate inanimate playmate. She sits barely moving while he slowly undresses her. Her slips his dick between her big tits and comes to life enough to suck it as it pokes through. Aiden ends up as quite a loud fuck when he bends her over and nails her from behind. The wig she is wearing is so dead-on sex doll that it’s a little bit creepy. Nice looking reverse cowgirl as she manages to get into positions that your average sex doll can’t. When he flips her over and fucks her hard enough to make her big tits bounce, she replies with some serious dirty talk. He finishes off with a shot all over her face.

Capri Anderson & John Strong

While picking up some things for Dolly at the smut shack, Pee Wee gets side tracked watching a live sex show between Capri Anderson and John Strong. She strips right down to just her heels and starts sucking. Not a bad looking BJ, but the cowgirl sex is actually quite a bit hotter. Capri shows off her butt and works her hips pretty well. In spoon we get some good leg shots and really solid close up angles on the naughty fun. The pretty little thing is a solid fuck who looks at her audience as she takes a load all over her hot face.

Jada Fire, Tom Byron & Evan Stone

Spoiled rich kid Evan Stone gets anything he wants for his birthday. That includes getting to stick his dick into his hot maid (Jada Fire) with the help of his father played by Tom Byron. The guys keep her busy at both ends and Jada rises the occasion as she always does. Hot shots of Jada in doggy with her big sexy ass up in the air pushing back on Byron’s boner. For the big finish she takes loads on her tits and all over her face.

Lea Lexus, Lucas Stone, Jerry & Barry Scott

On the road to find Dolly, Pee Wee is about to head into a rough bar. It may be rough, but it’s also fun as blonde slut Lea Lexus services her man and his two biker friends. They bend her over the pool table and fuck her pussy from behind. Since there are three of them, she has to pen up her ass to make sure everyone’s happy. The three guys take turns fucking the sexy little blonde. This is a bit of a throw away scene, but it’s really well shot and Lea is quite enthusiastic about the cock. Her ass looks great during doggy, but she can take every inch when she’s on top. The guys really pound that ass and start shooting cu on her pussy.

Capri Anderson & Tommy Pistol

Pee finally finds Dolly and has to try to flee before the evil Hollywood producer catches them. In the end, Dolly explains that he needs a real girl. Capri is right there and they are ready for the romantic ending. They get it and a movie deal to boot. On set, Capri drops to her knees and giggles as she strokes and sucks like she’s really in love. She is playful here jumping into his arms and writing on the bed while he eats her tight little hole. Capri pulls one leg up extra high to let him fuck her good and hard. The reverse cowgirl shots are nice because she’s showing off that hot little pussy. She happily sucks his cock and really uses her hands nicely. This is a good scene and Capri is always very pretty. It just doesn’t have much fantasy appeal, making it a rather ordinary finale. The facial is nice though. It’s always good to see Capri eating ball babies.

Bonus: Bonus Scene (Capri Anderson from Runaway), BTS, Photo Gallery, Previews, Commercials

Today on Radio Sex: Sex Across America 2: New Orleans (2000)

saa2Today, two of my longest-known industry friends, Luc Wylder and Alexandra Silk visit with Christy Canyon and Ginger Lynn on Radio Sex’ YouPorn on SiriusXM 103; I’ll be on around 2:40 Eastern to talk about Sex Across America 2.

Disclaimer: I’ve known Luc and Alex since I started going to the East Coast Video Show in ’97 or so.  They were friends with N. Smith who hosted rame.net (and shot camera on this movie too) and Luc had a buddy who worked at The Showboat Casino in Atlantic City and he hooked us up with an awesome suite for a few years to hold the RAME gathering; so I got to know Luc and Alex through that.  I’m very fond of them, so I doubt I’ll be particularly critical here…

The Sex Across America series is like a big long home movie of a happy couple’s travels around the country…a  happy couple who films themselves and their friends having sex along the way.  Each entry focuses on a different city and has a different traveling band of guests.  Luc tends to hold the camera and he only occasionally gets involved in the action; he usually lets Alex handle that end of things.  (Yeah, she handles that end of things.)

I picked Episode 2 because it’s the first one that has Luc and Alex hooking up in it (Luc kept it in his pants and his hands on the camera the first go round) and because I liked the supporting cast of Jessica Drake and Sydnee Steele who seemed to be on loan from Wicked. :-)

The movie starts with a Dixieland version of When The Saints Go Marching In as the credits roll.

Luc and Alex introducing the episode with a shaggy, easy going style.  They’re obviously a couple who enjoys each others company very much and they’re having a fun time goofing around doing the intro.  She’s just cute as a button, smiling and bopping around with a pink feather boa.

We get some shots of New Orleans night life, various strip clubs as Luc and Alex have a stilted little voiceover introducing T.J. Cummings and Alexis Amore.  She’s noodling on the piano and TJ comes in to make sure she slept OK and had a good night.  She complains of being tired, so he gives her a massage and that turns into sex.  They bang like crazy, keeping up good eye contact throughtout, always THISFARAWAY from breaking the piano bench, and they’re going at mish when TJ pulls out and launches a load up to Alexis’ ear.  When the money shot is done, the set relaxes and Luc comments from off-camera how great a shot that was an how it landed in her ear.  TJ sheepishly apologizes and leans down to clean her off.  Alexis isn’t a bad looking girl by any measure; her enhanced rack moves which is a nice change of pace from the late 90s silicon monoboobs; tho I could do with out the big Playboy Bunny tattoo on her abdomen.

From there, the gang goes out on the town and we get some more travelogue as Alex poses with masks and holds up souvenir towels.  They all try on hats and night turns into day and we’re back walking the streets and the gang, now expanded to include Alexis Fire and Rod Danger stumble into a cigar store.

They stumble upon Dos Jefe’s Uptown Cigar Bar where a kindly Cigar Man is happy to show off some huge cigars and his wide array of double entendres.  There some public nudity as Alex shows off her cookie in a pantiless dress and the girls really play up the phallic imagery and eventually they retire to the smoking room.  There’s a lot of laughs as the girls can’t come up with the name “Monica Lewinsky” (on purpose?) and they blow smoke rings (“Can’t let it die a virgin!” yells Alex as she penetrates the smoke ring with her cigar.)  Alex plants herself on the Cigar Man, gives him a little dance and Alex asks if there’s anything they can play with… and, lo and behold, there’s a shelf full of dildos.  (“That’s a little bit better ring gauge on those…”)  This is the Cigar Man’s lucky day — he gets to use every line he’s ever come up with, tell every joke about the “reserve box” and “ladies’ cigars.”

As “Do You Know What It Means To Miss New Orleans” comes on the soundtrack, Ms. Amore strips down and shoves a dildo into herself as Ms. Fire (two Alexis in the same scene means we have to get oddly formal) slides one end of a double dong into Alex’ ass.  Rod starts to strip down as both ends of the double dong find themselves in Alex. Ms. Amore bounces up and down on the couch forcing the dildo to hit home before grabbing a second dildo and DPing herself as well. Ms. Fire makes Alex cum in a pretty great display, esp. as Alex grabs Ms. Amore to make out with at the moment of climax.

Alexis A. then grabs a strap on and fucks Alexis F. in a weird reverse pile driver as Alex fills Alexis F’s mouth with another dildo making for some mouth-full screams of pleasure.  Alex manages to work the dildo into Alexis A’s twat as she continues to ride Alexis F.

As a reward for cumming, each of the girls gets a Dos Jefe T-Shirt to wear proudly.

They ride around the French Quarter in a horse drawn carriage flashing each other and just generally having a good time.  They pass A Streetcar (bus) named Desire and find their way back to the house where Rod and Alexis Fire get down and dirty. SHE IS A SERIOUS SCREAMER and Rod’s oral skills make her scream STOP in a way that seems to say she can’t take anymore. They fuck in a few positions, including doggie anal, and she jerks him off all over her face.  (Quick aside: Don’t get distracted by Rod’s turqoise G string.)

The gang heads to Jazzfest and then a “Swinger bar” — which is to say a bar with swings (or, I think it’s Dos Jefe’s).  The three girls are in identical white dresses with strategic holes cut out, and they meet the Cigar Man again!  More double entendres and laughs all around. Alexis A. wants to go to strip clubs and Alex wants to go to Bourbon Street to see what kind of trouble they can get in to.  They whip their tits out and TJ starts suckling on Alex.  The girls want to play with a big dildo, and TJ asks that is it because he’s not enough?  The girls are all swinging on the swings, showing off their hooches then Alex climbs on the bar and TJ has a businessman’s lunch. Everything goes sideways and all the girls get into the act; Rod takes his short off, SO DOES CIGAR MAN! and Alex blows TJ. Finally TJ finds solid ground and shoves his finger up Alex’ ass before fucking her.  Alex looks at the camera with the happiest smile on her face.  Rod is fucking Alexis Fires doggie style but has a hard time navigating the swing at first, but then he builds up a rhythm.

Alex cums while riding TJ and she makes out with Alexis A. who is sitting on TJ’s face. Lastly, TJpulls out of Alex and shoots it halfway up her back. TJ is like a kid in a candy store, telling everyone how much he loves them.

The gang is walking around the streets and they bump into a super young Jessica Drake and Sydnee Steele.  Luc wants to have fun on the town with them, but he’s busy shooting, so they stumble upon the great idea of going back to their hotel. They find their way back and find Evan Stone.  “What are you doing here?!?” Alex yells.  (He was dating Jessica Drake at the time, so that’s what he was doing there…)

The girls take out Evan’s manhood and orally enjoy it before stripping out of their clothes.  Evan and Jessica and Sydnee work their way over to the bed and Alex is taking pictures of everything.  Even fucks Jessica for a while and then he gets to bang Sydnee while she eats Jessica out.  Then he starts nailing Jessica again doggie style right on top of Sydnee.

Alex has had enough of seeing Jessica with her man, Evan, so she crawls over to HER man and starts blowing Luc.  The gang on the bed stops to watch Alex and Luc. There’s a second camera in the room which captures cutaways of Luc with Alex between his legs and a camera on his shoulder. She coaxes a load onto her tongue. Kudos to Luc for behind able to hold the camera steady as he pans away from his own cumshot to capture the action on the bed…

Evan cums on Jessica’s back and Sydnee cleans him and it up and shares a slightly cummy kiss with Jessica.

Then we’re back outside the house with Alex in the pink boa and our couple with the mostest thanks us for watching, plugs the websites and the next volume – San Francisco.

This movie is certainly worth some VOD minutes – Scene 2 in the cigar shop is a fun scene and nicely captures the vibe; scene 4 at the Swing Bar is more of the same easy vibe, but worth it to watch the end of the Alex/TJ scene where she cums like crazyand finally Scene 5 is a great chance to see an early Jessica Drake in action and a super-great orgasm on her part.

 

Night Dreams (1981) Trailer

nightdreamsThis trailer for F.X. Pope‘s 1981 classic Nightdreams was posted by over on Facebook (thanks, Steven!) and felt I had to share it… it’s SFW but the soundtrack might have your co-workers ready to kill you.

The movie stars Dorothy Lemay and features a killer supporting cast of performers – Jacqueline Lorians, Loni Sanders and Danielle.

From CD Man’s review:

NIGHTDREAMS is the most unusual, unique and innovative adult film yet made. Five years ago I was the first to champion this film and really had no idea what kind of impact it would have on future adult films. It has since pioneered a whole new sub-genre within the industry. It may disturb you, it may disgust you, it may even offend you, but love it or hate it, the most important thing is that you will not forget it. The raunchy, gritty sexuality is combined with truly new wave sets and the MIAMI VICE eighties ‘look’ taken even further in CAFE FLESH.

The plot centers on Mrs. Van Houton, played by Dorothy Lemay, undergoing treatment in a psychosexual-therapy session. She is observed by Jennifer West and Andrew Nichols, clad in doctors’ robes and adjusting the equipment wired to Dorothy’s head. She is put through a wide range of sexual fantasies during the session, and the viewer sees what the doctors can only record.

There is a careful progression to the order of the scenes. There is method to the filmmakers’ madness. What really sets this film apart from others is this odd style. The two filmmakers [Rinse Dream and F.X. Pope] are from the regular world of Hollywood who wanted to try their hand at the adult genre. The camera angles, photography and concepts they present will dazzle you. Never has an adult film been so perfectly photographed. Each scene, whether tender, harsh or just plain bizarre, offers something off the wall. The music track and sound effects are superior. Their influence has definitely spilled over.

View trailer on YouTube

Today on Radio Sex: Let’s Get Physical (1983)

Let-s-Get-PhysicalToday on Radio Sex XM103 at 2:40 PM Eastern-ish, we’ll be talking about Bob Chinn‘s 1983 feature, Let’s Get Physical, written by and starring one of today’s guests, Hyapatia Lee.

The movie is simple – Hyapatia Lee and Paul Thomas are married.  PT is a renowned ballet dancer, and Hyapatia is a jazz/rock dancer.

The movie opens with PT leaving the ballet stage, roses in hand.  He goes back to his dressing room where Hyapatia awaits, and he proposes a little hanky panky, but she demurs, worried there are too many people around.

So a gaggle of dancers come in to pay their respects, and one, Martina, stays behind and lets PT fuck her instead.  It’s a pretty quick shag, a blowjob and a missionary fuck where PT cums on her bush.  Unfortunately, Hyapatia sees the tryst and cries on the ride all the way home… well, they never make it home because her bawling distracts PT and he drives their car off a cliff, crippling him and ending his dancing career.

There’s tension at home since he blames Hyapatia for the accident and he knows he can never turn her into a ballerina, which suits her fine, since she’s a rock/jazz dancer!  He was hoping to give her name to a theatrical producer as a choreographer, but he’s not sure she can do it since she’s not a ballerina.

Cut to the dance studio and Hyapatia shows off her talents as a dancer (and I assume choreographer) with a 5 minute routine to something that sounds eerily like Michael Jackson’s “Beat It.”

She goes back home and tried to make love with PT, but he lost the “ability to make love when I lost my ability to dance.”  Welcome to the pity party, Hyapatia!!

She returns to the studio to teach novice ballerina, Shanna McCullough.  Shanna has always been one of my favorites, and I came to know her a little later in her career.  This is her at the very beginning, 23 years old, and she looks awesome in her leotard, stretching on the barre.

Of course, we need to learn the dance of love, and she an Hyapatia do a little floor dancing and rug munching; but what do you know — PT’s cock gets hard watching his wife and her student roll around the dance floor in their birthday suits.  (I mean, who wouldn’t, really….).

Later on, at home, PT mentions to Hyapatia that he watched her “lesson” and it got him rock hard – the first time since the accident.  He sets up a meeting with Shanna at the studio and later invites her over for dinner.  They retire to the bedroom so he can ostensibly look at Shanna’s “form” but it’s all just pretense for fucking someone other than his wife.  There’s some good tandem cocksucking, but he ends up fucking Shanna and ignoring Hyapatia who looks forlornly at the ceiling while her voiceover laments that she’s out in the cold while he fucks his “prima ballerina.”  All Hyapatia wants is to be with her husband, and all he wants is to be with a ballerina.

She slips into a fantasy sequence , a nice enough early 80s piano ballad (“Ballerina Dance For Me”) plays and PT is at a piano miming to it and she’s topless next to him, but then Shanna comes in and stays with PT, and this is the weirdest most bummer fantasy ever… until she dances into the studio and into the arms of Mike Horner and they hump, er, make love, on a mattress on the floor.  Lots of kissing and satisfying the female needs.  He nails her in missionary then she does her best to deep throat him and she jerks a HUGE cumshot out of him which manages to miss her face, but its am impressive geyser nonetheless, and she cleans off his cock when he’s done and they kiss and transition back to her own real hell of PT fucking Shanna sidesaddle and she jerks him off on her bush.

Another stellar performance by the ballet troupe – Mike Horner, Shanna McCullough, Erica Boyer and Francois – and they all congratulate each other in the dressing room. Hyapatia gives them all a hug and then PT comes in and tells them they were better than he ever expected (gee, thanks, PT) and they should get out to meet the scouts from the NYC Ballet.  PT then kisses Hyapatia’s ass a little and complements her choreography.  PT suggests they bang in the dressing room, and this time, she says she’d love to!  Cue the “Beat It-esque” music and she blows him, and afterwards he takes her doggy style during which we’re to believe he cums inside her.  (They are married after all…)

Now Francois is doing some rock dance in the studio and Erica Boyer stumbles onto him and is amazed that he can dance in such a modern way.  And then he shows her how he can dance the dance as old as time.  She licks her way down his chest and swallows his dick until he cums all over her face… but out boy “has one more in him” and fucks her on the floor , blowing a second wad on her belly.  Nicely done, sir!

There’s a party for Shanna and Mike who have earned spots in the NYC Ballet.  Shanna is now mooneyed for Mike and they leave for NYC.  PT then tells Hyapatia that she got the choreographer gig and they all live happily ever after.

Bob Chinn makes enjoyable movies.  This is what we would today call “A Couples Film” as it’s very much told from a woman’s point of view; a woman who is not happy about her wayward husband, but sticks by him in an attempt to work it out… or maybe just to get choreography job.. I’m not quite sure. :-)

Imperator gave this movie a 2.45 in this very brief review:

This one has a stellar cast indeed: Hyapatia Lee (woof), Shanna McCullough(hooowwwwwl), Erica Boyer, Paul Thomas and Mike Horner. It is a cute effort but a bit too much concerned with the weak plot, with the result that the sex scenes are not what they could well be. The Imperial verdict is: waste of resources. Neither Hyapatia, nor Shanna are used well; the threesome with PT is particularly disappointing. Still, it is a very decent flick, certainly superior to what we get nowadays (I must have said this phrase five times in this post :-) Must be true!).

Rating: 2.45

I think it’s a bit better than his rating of  “rent only if you are an ardent fan of the particular star/genre featured” and would put it in the “good rental” category.  At 78 minutes long, if you’re planning on watching the whole thing you’re going to want to go for the 2 day rental over at Adult DVD Empire which will only set you back $4 as opposed to paying per minute which will set you back around $6.

This is one to watch with your partner who isn’t sure about porn; it’s nice and easy, nothing crazy; all the performers are attractive and not creepy, it’s competently made… it holds up as a good example of early 80s adult filmmaking.

We’ll Be On The Jay Thomas Show at 5:30

Jay Thomas Show LogoWe’re going to be on  The Jay Thomas Show (SiriusXM 104) today, February 21, at 5:30pm Eastern. (We were supposed to be on the 20th, but Jay got sick).

We’ll be talking about the site and other interesting things.

Jay’s been on a bunch of sitcoms, so maybe I’ll need to ask if he’s seen the parody versions of Cheers or Mork and Mindy, and if he’s upset they didn’t find porno versions of his characters.  I’d also be interested to see if he thinks there’s a market for a Murphy Brown porn parody…

However, my first memory of Jay is from when I was a kid, and he appeared on the cover of the January 1980 issue of Dynamite, a staple of my reading diet when I was 11… who could predict that 33 years later my interest in dirty movies gets me a chance to rap with that guy hugging Robin Williams?

jay_mork