In its now traditional locale of @gabriel_lan‘s lavish living room in warm, sunny Nowhere Special, USA, the 5th annual Spank Bank Awards show was bigger and better than ever this year.
The Spank Bank Awards are voted on by a panel of porn critics (@gabriel_lan), noted adult film connoisseurs (@gabriel_lan), outside adult industry media insiders (@gabriel_lan), x-rated film fans (@gabriel_lan), and a committee chairman (also @gabriel_lan). Nominees who entice or influence the panel with any form of ‘sweet talking’, ‘sexual innuendo’, ‘buttering up’, or outright eluding to sexual favors greatly increase their chances of winning.
The 6th Annual Spank Bank awards are almost upon us.
The Spank Bank Awards were founded on the ideal of giving recognition to the all our favorite performers in the adult industry who may (or may not) receive the accolades they deserve from some other awards shows.
As with the other Hollywood award shows, there are too many awards to be handed out during the main ceremony, so we held a luncheon ceremony earlier in the week at an offsite location at a table for one.
I dread doing a write-up after every convention; sometimes procrastinating until the next year comes up and realising that I forgot to from the gaps in our archive. This was my 14th AVN and I have been to at least 30 conventions overall. Anyone who actually attends these things can vouch the amount of fatigue that sets in after coming home. It’s not just physical but mental because your brain had been bombarded with stimuli. My colleagues and other porn people have noted in the past that I am not much of a talker after semi-patiently waiting in line, and our conversations are reduced to my nodding at them and some clicks. I do this because I have to catch up with a lot of people, and I don’t want to hold up the fan lines.
So getting that out of the way, here are the photos:
(Click on the photos to be brought to the Flickr Galleries)
The first person I saw and greeted upon arriving at the convention hotel was James Deen. I shook his hand and did not see him again until near the end of the AVN Awards when he flitted through with Chanel Preston. I did not observe whether he was treated as a pariah during the festivities but did overhear conversations of talent defending him and fans excited to meet him.
After years of improvement, the expo and awards show regressed this year with security and logistics. Perhaps the show hired a new security firm because they were more heavy handed this year and clueless about controlling the crowds. What was even funnier was watching security block the awards production staff from setting up the awards.
Webcam companies dominated the show in terms of square footage and sponsorship. Myfreecams girls were everywhere and the Chaturbate booth was huge. I didn’t meet many webcam models because they seemed more interested in their laptops and webcams than the crowds.
The best booth to hang out at was Colette/X-Art, especially in meeting Leah Gotti and Alex Grey. Second best was Jules Jordan’s booth featuring Riley Reid who for the fifth year in a row was the most popular girl at the convention. Bella Danger may have been the second most popular girl at the convention.
Mick Blue and Anikka Albrite were easily the most accessible couple, greeting fans far outside of the hospices of the convention.
The most inaccessible booth again was Wicked Pictures. Their directors and contract girls have always been great when you actually get to meet them, but their security and support staff are less than genial to deal with.
Aria Alexander, winner of the second season of DP Star, apologised for squinting due to cum in her eye while we were taking a selfie. Even though I heard her then, I did not process that in my head until reviewing the photo.
A lot of people surmised that the award winners knew ahead of time of their wins. You wouldn’t believe that after seeing Penny Pax react to her winning Best Actress with tears. I also saw the juxtaposition of reactions of Riley Reid and the other nominees for Female Performer of the Year to know that their emotions are authentic.
Live from my newly remodeled man cave in the suburbs of warm, sunny Nowhere Special, USA it’s time for the 6th Annual Spank Bank Awards, proudly presented to you by IAFD.com! The Spank Bank Awards were founded on the ideal of giving recognition to the dirty little sluts in the adult industry who may (or may not) receive the accolades they deserve from some other awards shows. This year’s collection of perverted honors features a record number of major categories, including (for the 1st time in Spank Bank history) awards for Website, Production Studio, and Director of the Year along with Dick of the Year for the male performers. And as always, there is an abundance of ‘technical’ awards (to be given out at a separate ceremony later this month) giving kudos on a variety of subjects.
The titles of ‘Sexiest Woman Alive’, ‘Dirty Little Slut of the Year’, and the highly coveted ‘Most Spanked To Girl of the Year’ – aka the unholy trinity of filthy awards excellence – were once again an all out war for slutty supremacy. Whether they win or not, every single nominee should be commended for not only their contribution to porn, but for their generous donations to the welfare of mankind in general. Especially to the dirty minded perverts among us. So, without further ado, the results of this year’s Spank Bank Awards:
* Spank Bank Awards are voted on by a panel of porn critics (me), noted adult film connoisseurs (me), outside adult industry media insiders (me), x-rated film fans (me), and a committee chairman (also me). Nominees who entice or influence the panel with any form of ‘sweet talking’, ‘sexual innuendo’, ‘buttering up’, or outright eluding to sexual favors greatly increase their chances of winning.