Tonight On Playboy Radio: RIP Nightcalls

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end..”

I was away this week, but got an email from the always delightful Sexy Lexi, associate producer of NightCalls, saying that word came down and the show was cancelled.

This made me sad.

I liked the show and I liked being a part of it.  I liked chatting with Debi and Nicki every Thursday night, and the giuest hosts they’d have on every so often.  Never got a ton of feedback on my appearances, but occasionally I’d get a tweet or two about it, so I knew someone was listening.  I also liked revisiting the adult movies from my youth — or the ones I liked anyway.

Rest assured, there’s a silver lining!  Lexi also passed on the good news that (a) she was promoted and now she’s the Producer of YouPorn on Spice Radio (Sirius XM103) and (b) she’d like me to continue doing the classic adult reviews I was doing on NightCalls over at YouPorn with Ginger Lynn and Christy Canyon.

Needless to say, I jumped at the chance.  So, we’ve got ourselves a schedule change — instead of Thursdays at 7:40EST on XM 102, I’ll be on Wednesdays at 2:40PM on XM103.  One day and five hours earlier, and one channel higher on your satellite dial.

We’re starting next week, the 27th.  I have no idea what we’re going to talk about — I suspect it’ll just be a “get to know you” session.  I was lucky enough to be on YouPorn back in January at AEE, and I look forward to making it my new regular gig.

(And really, I get to chat every week with Christy and Ginger?  It’s (almost) like my 16 year old self just won the lottery… )

So, look forward to “Today on YouPorn…” coming soon.

Tonight on Playboy Radio: Hot and Saucy Pizza Girls (1977)

[UPDATE: I had mentioned a Facebook group on the show, Adult Movies 1968-1988 that has a lot of presence from the talent from back then. Join us.]

Tonight on Playboy Radio’s Night Calls (SiriusXM 102) we’ll be talking about Bob Chinn’s 1977 classic Hot & Saucy Pizza Girls.  (Due to a pre-existing obligation on my end, we’ll be starting a little earlier than usual — 7pm Eastern, 4 pm Pacific.)

At the Club 90 panel discussion the other night, the panel was asked what their most favorite moment was during their time in the industry. Candida Royalle wasted no time and said her happiest memory was learning to ride a skateboard with Desiree Cousteau and Laurien Dominique for this movie.  So, I figured that was as good a reason as any to re-visit it.  And, boy, I wasn’t disappointed.  What a fun movie this is!  It just exudes charm and good times out of every frame.

VCX’s blurb does it justice:  “This is a comic look at the fast food business and rates one of the best films ever. John Holmes operates a pizza delivery service that adds very special toppings provided by the delivery girls – Desiree, Candida, Chris and Laurien. But Paul Thomas and the fried chicken people enlist the aid of the infamous San Francisco Night Chicken to drive the pizza operation out of business. The sex scenes are exceptionally ludicrous in the very entertaining adult movie.”

The script is jokey but not in an eye-rolling way.  The movie opens with Desiree (playing a character named Ann Chovy) interviewing for a job at the Country Girl Pizza Parlor, and John Holmes is having a hard time reading her application.  The writing is very small in the box marked “sex” because she wrote “only once, in Alabama” in an effort to be completely honest and forthcoming, because this pizza place doesn’t just serve pizza, they serve a little sex with their pies, and Desiree is looking to be hired as a delivery girl.

This interview leads into our first sex scene, where John buries himself in her bush, both orally and then (um) dick-ily.  After a little fucking, he has her drop to her knees and blow him (“We don’t have all day!” he says) as he blows a great shot into her mouth and down her chin.

SPOILER ALERT: She gets the job.

Next up, we see the bumbling Inspector Blackie spying on the girls as they leave for their delivieries; he’s accompanied by something that sounds eerily like The Pink Panther theme.  He reminds me of my friend Alan.

Next up, we get three scenes intercut of the girls making their deliveries.

First up, Candida Royalle (who could really pass for iCarly’s older slutty sister here) hooking up with Richard Pacheco.  Next, Laurien Dominique hooks up with Paul Thomas until he gets his friend Spender Travis to join in.  And finally, Desiree Cousteau talk and talks and talks to Carl Regal who is having a real hard time eating her out with all the talking she’s doing about how cunnilingus is illegal in Alabama.

We don’t spend too much time on any of the couplings, and they’re all pretty standard.  Candida and Richard go at missionary; Lauren has PT under her as she blows Spender, (who cums on her chin; ans PT on her ass).

We then cut to Vicky Lindsay as an old horny housewife, whom we meet as she masturbates with a carrot while she’s waiting for Christine DeShaffer to show up.  And Chistine walks in, drops the pizza box on the ground, confirms the order and vigorously eats her out for all of 20 seconds and then leaves.  I think the whole sequence was 90 seconds long.

Then we’re back and forth between Desiree getting eaten out and Pacheco humping away until Desiree finally gets to her knees and blows Mr. Regal.  Cut to Pacheco banging away doggy style, but we don’t stay with it very long so we can cut back to Regal’s blowjob which ends with him jerking off onto her tits and she cleans him off.  (The reaction shots “cross the axis” in their pairing, which is visually a bit jarring.).  Finally, Candida tells her customer “Hey, cowboy!  Time for the round up!” and after a spirited round of pumping and chorus of She’s Coming Round The Mountain, he pulls out and cums on her ass as she rolls her eyes.

The whole sequence, scenes 2-6 on the IAFD listing was 13 minutes long.  The one thing you could count on about classic porn, there was no time to be bored.  On the other hand, there was no time to really build up a rhythm and linger on a pairing you might really like.

More slapstick from Inspector Blackie, who is unable to close the antenna on his walkie-talkie, and he chases Candida and Christine down on his own skateboard with a hand-held siren/megaphone.  They talk their way out of it (“You need to catch us on the way out, not on the way back in.  We already delvered our ‘pizzas!’)

Lauren gets paid by PT and Spender who sit and chat with Pacheco about their failing Fried Chicken franchise; so they hatch a plan to get the girls off the street (“Cheap, hot pussy… how are you going to compete with thaaaaat?”) and protect their investment. So, they hatch a plan to call in the “Night Chicken” some sort of rapist… because rape is funny….

So, as Christine is skateboarding at night, we hear some ominous music and chicken clucks.  As she goes to investigate, she is pulled inside an alcove and feathers literally start to fly…

The next day, John and his partner (played by director Bob Chinn under the alias Danny Hussong) are making pizzas and taking orders when there’s a scream in the back and Christine cops to being raped by the Night Chicken.  John and Danny explain that they’ve been after the Night Chicken for 10 years and they want their revenge.

Cut to Christine, Candida and John sitting naked and talking about the Chicken, and then Christine starts sucking John’s cock, but Candida is pissed by this, so she rips Christine off of John’s cock, and spins her around to force her to give HER head while John fucks her… the girls move to a 69 so John can take Candida from the rear, and then John pulls out and cums on Christine’s mouth and chin.

PT gets off the phone with the Chicken who assures him that the girls will be off the street before the next day… but the boys are thinking they might want to fuck them one more time before they’re out of business…

Next up, Desiree runs into her neighbor — who just happens to be Inspector Blackie!  (and he has an awful feminine headboard on his bed…) After some discussion about how he’s never had pizza,  they strip, she blows him then rides him.  She is a cute little thing with really great tits (that may or not be fake…)  They go at it doggie style, then missionary and finally he cums on her bush.

So PT ordered a pizza and Christine delivers it.  When no one answers the door, she lets herself in and we cut to PT verifying his order (“You must be the special stuffed mushroom, deep dish surprise!”) while she’s sucking his cock.  From there, they go to doggie and she gives up the ass, which he cums on 5 minutes later.

Skating around at night, Laurien hears the clucking down the alley, and again there’s feathers flying.

Laurien goes back to the pizza place and bitches that John didn’t offer any protection at all, and he starts to apologize when Christine walks in, spitting feathers out of her mouth.  John and Bob go looking for the Chicken, but come up empty.

Another pizza order comes in from Vickie, so Christine goes out and once again attacks her, this time with a giant dildo that has a crank on it.  This scene is just as short as their other pairing.

So, now, it’s all over except for the plot.  Inspector Blackie stumbles around in the dark and Desiree, walking down the street, hears the clucking but luckily her neighbor, Inspector Blackie is there to save her; so they run off to Niagra Falls as John and Bob run in to the alley to confront the Chicken.

The end is silly, as they come out of the alley with a tape recorder, and you can pretty much see the wink, Bob says “You don’t think it was Inspector Blackie, do you?” and we cut to his car driving away, with the license plate BAHK.

Roll credits.

This is a movie that doesn’t ask anything of you, other than to sit back, relax, and let it play over you like a school play.  There’s an genial easiness to the whole endeavor that you can’t take it seriously.  There’s some fine sex in it.  It’s not modern day porno sex, it’s classic porno sex.  Just like  rock music today isn’t much like rock music from 1977, same goes for porno.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfdXWDNWzbQ]

IAFD Interview 23: Chastity Lynn

Our roving and intrepid interview has the patience of a saint, as does his subject Chastity Lynn.  Back in June 2011 or so, they recorded an interview on the set of the Tim Von Swine / Mike John opus, Praise the Load 6… and it has sat collecting virtual dust on my hard drive ever since.

Morbid asked me the other day, “Hey, you have that Chastity Lynn interview I did?” and I went looking back through the files, and lo and behold, it was there, just waiting to be declipped and mastered and have a lame intro and outro attached to it.

So, it’s done.  It’s an entertaining, if not low-key 10 minutes with Ms. Lynn.

Chastity Lynn around the net:

[powerpress]

TRANSCRIPT

JEFF FROM IAFD: Hey there, it’s time for another IAFD interview brought to you by the Internet Adult Film Database. This one is from June 2011, our editor Morbid Thoughts met up with Chastity Lynn on the set of Mike Johns’ “Praise the Load 6“, I think it was number 6, let’s pretend it was number 6, if it wasn’t number 6, and she and Morbid got to talking about her time in the industry, Amazon Wish Lists and social networking.

MorbidThoughts: Hi, this is Morbid Thoughts with IAFD.com, I’m on a Mike John set with Tim von Swine directing with Mike of course, and I’m here with…

MorbidThoughts: Chastity Lynn.

MorbidThoughts: Chastity is long and beautiful and I believe she is doing a “blow bang” today.

Chastity Lynn: Yes, four cocks.

MorbidThoughts: Is this something you do often?

Chastity Lynn: Fairly often I would say.

MorbidThoughts: Yeah, we had a conversation earlier and she said she’s been in the industry off and on for about 2 or 3 years now?

Chastity Lynn: Yes.

MorbidThoughts: Is there something that you are looking forward to today?

Chastity Lynn: I’m looking forward to getting [ ] by a group of guys off and I like swallowing cum too so Ii think I cantake 4 loads in my mouth.

MorbidThoughts: I’m not clear on the, well actually I do know all the mopes that are participating today, but (laughs) cause I see them all, all the time! But, tell me about yourself Chastity, where are you from?

Chastity Lynn: I’m from Seattle.

MorbidThoughts: Were you born and raised there?

Chastity Lynn: Yes.

MorbidThoughts: I think you were gonna tell me earlier that a couple of websites have your, I guess, age wrong? When were you born then?

Chastity Lynn: August 10th, 1987.

MorbidThoughts: How tall are you?

Chastity Lynn: I am 5’7″.

MorbidThoughts: Hmm, I am trying to think what else here. When you approach a “blow bang” scene, what’s your mindset?

Chastity Lynn: I always get a little nervous before all my scenes, but I just kinda relax and get turned on and have a good time and it always winds up being a good time.

MorbidThoughts: You mention nerves, so what was it like when you first started?

Chastity Lynn: Oh, I was really shy and scared when I first started.

MorbidThoughts: What made you come into the industry then?

Chastity Lynn: Oh, eventually I just got more comfortable with it and used to it.

MorbidThoughts: Is there a particular performer or director that you like to work with?

Chastity Lynn: I love working with everyone over at Evil Angel, their always…I work with Jason and I got the chance to work with John Stagliano a few weeks ago which was awesome, so, they are probably my favorite…I also always have a good time working with Dan over at Girlfriends Films.

MorbidThoughts: Okay, what’s it like working on a Girlfriends set? I’ve actually never been on one.

Chastity Lynn: It’s a lot of fun. I actually got to go on a couple Road Queen trips with them so far and so all the girls kinda go out into the house and they have this cool kind of antiquish looking purple car that we all drive around in and it’s a lot of fun.

MorbidThoughts: I notice in Girlfriends Films films (laughs) there is usually like the girl that’s the dom and the girl that’s the sub, so what would you be?

Chastity Lynn: Uh, well I started off being, like, the shy new one that was the sub, but then…it’s kinda as your fans get to know you then you can’t really play that role anymore, so, now I’m kinda more of the one pushing the girls into it.

MorbidThoughts: Do you get a thrill out of it?

Chastity Lynn: Yeah, I do! It’s always a lot of fun.

MorbidThoughts: What are some of your favorite girls that you have worked with?

Chastity Lynn: I worked with a new girl on that Road Queen trip that I was just talking about named Kara Price and so she was really cool and then I worked with Proxy Page once and that was awesome! And I get to work with her again coming up, so I am excited about that.

MorbidThoughts: Oh I didn’t know she was still in the industry, I mean I adore her cause she is so sweet!

Chastity Lynn: yeah, she’s so cute! I don’t know how much she is doing right now.

MorbidThoughts: So for today’s “blow bang” how often have you worked for Mike John and Tim, Timmy previously?

Chastity Lynn: This is my second time.

MorbidThoughts: Second time? What was it like the first time?

Chastity Lynn: It was fun! I did a gang bang…It was a mini gang bang, it was only three guys so…

MorbidThoughts: Did you get to POV anyone?

Chastity Lynn: POV?

MorbidThoughts: Did you work a POV with Timmy or…

Chastity Lynn: Oh no, I haven’t yet.

Background voice: Not yet

Chastity Lynn: (laughs)

MorbidThoughts: Yeah, Timmy’s walking around with a beer. We’re all drinking beer, except for Chastity of course, she’s professional.

Chastity Lynn: Yes!

MorbidThoughts: So on your sets has there been anything weird or fun that you’ve been able to do?

Chastity Lynn: Um…(laughs) Let’s see…I have…I spin fire! It’s kind of a hobby of mine.

MorbidThoughts: What do you mean you spin fire?

Chastity Lynn: It’s fire dancing actually. You…there’s like two foot long chains with [ ] attached to it that I light up.

MorbidThoughts: And is this, like I’ve never seen…well I don’t think I’ve seen it before. How did you, I guess, obtain this skill?

Chastity Lynn: A roommate of mine was into fire spinning so I saw her do it and I thought it was really cool and I practiced and practice, I’ve been doing it for about 2 years now. I didn’t light up until about 8 months ago.

MorbidThoughts: Did you accidentally burn yourself a couple times when you first started out?

Chastity Lynn: Um, no actually. The only burns that I have got have been recent ‘cause I tried some harder tricks when I wrap the chains around my wrists so you can see my wrists are a little burnt up but not too bad anymore.

MorbidThoughts: Yeah, you can see some like white marks are her, you wouldn’t realize they were burns.

Chastity Lynn: (laughs)

MorbidThoughts: So let’s talk about the fans. I think I first met you at AVN in January…

Chastity Lynn: Yeah!

MorbidThoughts: …and you were very popular with the fans. I think you were signing for [ ] I wanna say…

Chastity Lynn: Exquisite?

MorbidThoughts: Yeah, EXP, yeah! And all of the guys were surrounding you for a while. I remember I was, you know, going “oh, who’s this?”, you know, and it’s like “oh, It’s Chastity Lynn, I guess!”

Chastity Lynn: Yeah, I have a lot of fun at conventions! I love getting to go meet my fans.

MorbidThoughts: How have they treated you, say, at the convention, and then has there been anybody that approached you outside, you know, while your…day to day life?

Chastity Lynn: I haven’t had too many people approach me at this point. As far as the conventions go, I have always been treated really well, I had a great time.

MorbidThoughts: It’s always a pleasure to see you at the convention. I lied because I know I have met her before, I met her at the previous year actually! Yeah, cause she was signing for, I think Fire TV back then.

Chastity Lynn: I was.

MorbidThoughts: Oh and Claudia Show and I think it was Dani Jensen and somebody else but I can’t, Oh April O’Neil.

Chastity Lynn: They’re a lot of fun.

MorbidThoughts: Those girls are a lot of fun, I adore them a lot too. So with the fans you say they have been nice, I guess have they been polite or…Because I always wondered, like sometimes I see the best and the worst of the fans when I attend these conventions and watch how they interact with them, they’ve been pretty much respectful?

Chastity Lynn: For the most part everyone’s like really respectful but one time I was bending over and like, someone like touched my butthole, which was really interesting and funny.

MorbidThoughts: That’s just very disrespectful. I mean I think it’s disrespectful when somebody just sneaks a camera under a girl without asking or even when she’s not aware of it ‘cause I see that a lot all the time.

Chastity Lynn: Sometimes I will give the little flash moment but I think I still have a thong covering and some guy, like, reached up to move it I screamed, I was like ‘what the fuck?’

MorbidThoughts: Oh, if I had seen that….I haven’t seen any of your flash moments other than today on set (laughs), but, alright let’s plug, I guess, well let’s talk about your fans online. Do you have Twitter or social networking where you interact with them?

Chastity Lynn: I do have a Twitter, it’s @chastitylynnxxx and I use that regularly.

MorbidThoughts: How have the fans been on there?

Chastity Lynn: Oh, they’ve been great!

MorbidThoughts: Do they, wait, do you have, I mean, I know a lot of girls do this, they have wish lists and stuff. Do you have one where the fans have gotten you stuff?

Chastity Lynn: Yes, I do have a wish list.

MorbidThoughts: And, do you want to promote it?

Chastity Lynn: You know what I don’t even know what the URL to it is, I know it’s…

MorbidThoughts: Is it attached to your Twitter?

Chastity Lynn: Yeah, it’s attached to my Twitter.

MorbidThoughts: Have they gotten you lots of stuff?

Chastity Lynn: Yeah! Yeah I’ve gotten a few really cool stuff on there.

MorbidThoughts: Some girls have like clothes, some girls have books, some girls have just weird stuff and even electronic stuff. What kind of stuff do you populate your wish list with?

Chastity Lynn: I put clothes, jewelry all sorts of stuff. I actually just recently added a glass [ ] set on there cause it’s something I wanna pick up doing on the side, so the coolest thing I have gotten so far was these long pairs of glo stick lights which are fairly expensive and they are really cool (laughs)

MorbidThoughts: A lot of girls also now interact with their fans through webcamming. Do you do that?

Chastity Lynn: I try to. I should be webcamming more.

MorbidThoughts: And I think you have a website coming up, or that you’re working on?

Chastity Lynn: Yes, I am working on my website. At this point everything is on Chastitylynnxxx.com I am not sure if it will stay there but all the information will be updated on my Twitter.

MorbidThoughts: So how long do you wanna stay, keep on doing what you’re doing?

Chastity Lynn: At least for the next couple of years. I can’t really see that far into the future but for now I am having a lot of fun!

MorbidThoughts: That’s good to hear. I mean sometimes you hear that and sometimes you hear something else (laughs)

Chastity Lynn: Yeah!

MorbidThoughts: Thank you for talking to us. Is there anything else you want to tell the fans?

Chastity Lynn: Um, just follow me on Twitter and I look forward to meeting all of you hopefully at the convention!

MorbidThoughts: Thank you Chastity!

Chastity Lynn: Thank you!

JEFF FROM IAFD: So there you go! The lovely and talented Chastity Lynn. You can find her on the Twitter @chastitylynnxxx. “Praise the Load 4″….6? What did we say? 6? 4? Whatever it is you should go over to IAFD.com and look that shit up! We are also on Playboy Radio Thursday nights at 7:45 or so, eastern time talking about classic movies with Debi Diamond and Nikki Hunter. They’re also lovely and talented and a bit pervy! Not bad at Sirius XM 102. So hey, we’ll see you around the playground!

EVENT: Club 90 – Golden Girls of Porn

For those of you in NYC, you might be interested to learn of a panel happening tonight (June 12 at 6pm) over at the Museum of Sex featuring Gloria Leonard, Veronica Hart, Veronica Vera, Candida Royalle, and Annie Sprinkle.

The promo reads:

Five adult film stars from the “Golden Age of Porn”: Veronica Hart, Gloria Leonard, Candida Royalle, Veronica Vera and Annie Sprinkle were the original “Sex and the City” girls. Turning to one another for the support they needed to navigate their way through life in blue movies, these dynamic women created “Club 90” in 1983, forming a bond that would continue for thirty years. They went on to pursue their personal goals, and in the process, blazed new trails in the fields of human sexuality, women’s empowerment, erotic expression, and free speech. Come get a taste of the good old days when NYC was America’s sex film capital, movies were shot on 35mm film, and Times Square was x-rated! Most of all, come share the laughs, the drama and the intimate stories of this controversial support group. This rare reunion promises to be candid, informative and electric!

I’m heading into the city tonight to catch it; I do like panel discussions where people just sit around telling stories.  Tickets are $25.  The museum is located at 233 5th Ave, between 27th and 28th.

If you go, say hello — I’ll be in the iafd.com shirt.

IAFD Interview 22: Selena Rose

Morbid Thoughts took a trip out to LA and all we got were three interviews and a bunch of hot pictures. No T-Shirt, though…

The first interview from the trip was with the Cuban/Latino DP contract girl, Selena Rose (formerly Sasha Bleu).

As Morbid writes:

Selena Rose is a beautiful Cuban American from Miami. She’s done multiple features for DP so she’s used to the long hours. She’s quite flirty in person and normally I would be skeptical in dismissing it as something she puts on for the press. However, I’ve met her in the past in more casual situations when she didn’t know who I was to conclude the flirtiness is just part of her normal personality. Sex always seems to be on the mind with her and I was flattered by the attention she showered until Manuel Ferrara showed up. Heh.

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