Tonight on Playboy Radio: Deep Inside Vanessa Del Rio (1986)

Tonight around 7:45 pm Eastern Time (4:45 pm Pacific) on Playboy Radio’s Night Calls with Debi Diamond and Nicki Hunter (Nicki was out), we talked some more about The Dark Brothers and Greg‘s 1986 movie, Deep Inside Vanessa Del Rio.

We started off talking about awards season and how we’ve been entering a bunch of awards data behind the scenes and we’re getting ready to unleash the data onto the world.  It’ll happen sometime in February, I reckon… but that data is what currently feeds the awards blog postings, so you’re getting the fruits of our labors a little bit anyway.

Then we spoke about the movie.  The movie is a pretty funny send-up of biography documentaries, and the invented backstory of Vanessa’s life is pretty funny courtesy of a script by Antonio Passolini (writing as Johnny Jump-Up).  In a nutshell, Vanessa was born to a black mother (in case you were worried about Dark’s racial sensitivity, she’s played by a man in blackface) in communist Russia.  She escaped by fucking Marc Wallice and Lois Ayres and ended up in Paris, where she learned the ways of the crotch from Erica Boyer (who let her watch her get double teamed by Tom Byron and Marc Wallice — great scene; Erica ends up slick with sweat at the end of it).  From there, Vanessa becomes a door-to-door dildo saleswoman, and she plies her wares to housewife Liz Randall, and they have a pretty great toy-laden lezfest.  (It doesn’t hurt that Liz looks like a cute-as-a-button mid-80s Jenna Fischer.)  Vanessa’s journey takes her to Paraguay, where she starts to work her way into adult films, having sex with underrated scrumpet Krista Lane and Francois Papillion, eventually culminating in a gangbang with Marc WallicePeter NorthSteve PowersTom Byron and Troy Tannier.

The whole movie is infused with a goofy, bad taste take on things; so if that sounds like it’s for you — you should check this out as its available from all of the leading VOD retailers, as well as on DVD.

But perhaps the  greatest thing about the movie is its theme song (also by Johnny Jump-Up).  There’s a crummy dub of it over on YouTube, but it’s the best we got right now. . .

(Can we start a letter writing campaign to VCA — or whomever owns VCA now — to release the theme songs to the mid-80s Dark Brothers movies on iTunes?)

Previously: New Wave HookersDevil in Miss Jones 3

Tonight on Playboy Radio: The Year In Data

Tonight, on Playboy Radio, we discussed our Year in Data, highlighting some of the data we’ve compiled about 2011 releases… but since that data was already published, I thought I’d make some charts and graphs of some of our other stats.

In 2011, we entered data on 9,394 titles, of which 4,366 of them were made in 2011.  That breaks down to:

So, after seeing how many we added in 2011, I thought it might be interesting to see how this year’s data entry stacked up to prior years… We didn’t track the dates we added something to the db before 2003; so pre-2003 there were over 53,000 titles already in the database.  In 2007, we added gay titles to the database, so our output basically doubled… FUN FACT: The editorial team for gay titles is made up of two people, and neither of them are gay.

We get a lot of corrections, and I was happy to see that we clear most of them up; the blue bars represent corrections we accepted; the red bars corrections we rejected and the green bars are ones we either haven’t gotten to or are under consideration.

Height is something we’re often asked about, so here’s the expected bell curve of women’s heights (in centimeters)…

Have any data you’re interested in seeing plotted? Let us know in the comments and we’ll revisit this topic going forward…

Tonight on Playboy Radio: New Wave Hookers (1985)

Tonight on Playboy Radio, we talked about New Wave Hookers, Greg Dark’s not-first film (I thought it was his first, it wasn’t; it was probably his second or third; “Let Me Tell Ya Bout White Chicks” came first…)

New Wave Hookers was a milestone of its time – called Hustler’s Film of the Year for 1985 — because it featured hot starlet of the day Traci Lords on the cover (Ginger Lynn is pictured on the DVD cover) and Ginger Lynn had a DP in it. Up until this point, girls as hot at Ginger didn’t do things like DPs, that was left to a, er, skankier class of performer; but Ginger came in and said “Hot girls can get dirty too!” and went on to change the industry forever. There was a rawness to this movie which wasn’t seen elsewhere at the time and that helped it to stand apart.

But, since this movie was made pre-1987 (i.e while Traci was underage) all copies of it had to be recalled and pulled from retailer’s shelves at great cost — both financial and criminal — and the movie was re-cut and re-released, the changes being a re-edit of the opening credits to excise Traci from the parade of New Wave Hookers and a total elimination of her one scene in the movie.

However, since the movie is largely a series of disconnected scenes, cutting her out of the movie was no great feat, unlike the poor folks behind Talk Dirty to Me 3 who had to reshoot LARGE parts of the story with Lisa De Leeuw taking Traci’s part.

The basic story behind the movie is two guys Jamie Gillis and Jack Baker lamenting the fact that they have no girls and that pimps must get a ton of pussy. They fall asleep in front of the TV and wake (?) to find themselves as pimps who will program their ho’s to fuck to the sound of New Wave music. Oddly, Jamie Gillis’ pimp has an offensive Japanese accent throughout.

The production values are minimal. Filing cabinets are made out of cardboard. The rest is pretty bizarre. Steve Powers, a Dark Bros. favorite, plays the office dog, complete with collar and toys to play with. (Not that this stops him from helping his master fuck Desiree Lane when she shows up to join the stable of New Wave Hookers.)

The standout scene is Ginger Lynn‘s pairing with Steve Powers (now graduated to nerd from dog) and Tom Byron (just a nerd). They call for a New Wave Hooker to come service them, and this is where Ms. Lynn performs the aforementioned DP. The whole scene is great and worth renting the movie for.

The rest of the pairings are good, in an odd way. Kristara Barrington controls the second half of the film, fucking Jamie, Jack and Steve Powers.

The film ends with the girls on a merry-go-round; Kristara is with Jamie and Steve Powers; Desiree Lane is back with Steve Drake and go at it; and Gina Carrera and Greg Rome go for a ride as well.

The movie ends with Jack and Jamie waking up and Jamie heading home. On the street, he sees Kristara who acts as if she knows him… so was it all a dream or not?

The last thing about the film that sticks with me to this day via my iPod is the theme song. The Plugz (AllMusic listing) were a Southern California Latino punk band led by Tito Larriva, and their song Electrify Me was tapped to be the theme to most of the movies in the New Wave Hookers series. It’s appeared on “Ranking & Skanking – The Best of Punky Reggae” compilation which is where I finally found it since their original albums are long out of print. According to YouTube, the version used in the movie is quite a bit faster than the version that appears on the Rhino compilation CD and the video below (which features the original cover art)… but it might be a tape speed issue…

FUN TRIVIA: Tito Larriva appeared as Hammy in the original production of The Pee Wee Herman Show — the tape of original show Paul Reubens did at the Roxy that eventually became his TV show…


Tonight On Playboy Radio: Santa Comes Twice (1984)

Tonight on Playboy Radio, in honor of the holiday season, we talked about Adam‘s 1984 video, Santa Comes Twice which has been re-released on DVD/VOD as Spreading Joy.  (There’s a lot of recent Christmas-themed porn, but not a lot in the era which I’m honor bound to talk about.)

For starters, the boxcover credits are a bit of a mess, with confusion between movies — there is a second movie called Babylon Nights aka “Spreading Joy” which stars Beverly BlissKaren Summer and Nick Niter (among others) and they’re not in this movie.  Also, some of the names on the boxcovers are AKAs for other named people (i.e. Christy and/or Krissi are AKAs for Roxanne Rolland and Mr. Louis is an aka for Short Stud).  So the boxcover is a little schizophrenic. :-)

The movie opens with a jazzy version of Santa Claus Is Coming To Town as we see still-shots of everyone in the movie.  The stills show their character names as a female narrator introduces their credit.

Santa, played by a beardless Michael Morrison (aka Uncle Milty, better known as director Milton Ingley) talks on a CB radio to the elves, angry for stepping in reindeer shit.   Mrs. Claus(a grey-hared Susan Hart) offers to help Santa relax, despite there being “so many things to do!”  and she starts to blow him.  They have sex in a couple positions which ends with Santa fucking her doggie style and then cumming inside Mrs. Claus, but we get no proof of this… so already, there’s some doubt if Santa actual comes twice… maybe that’s why they changed the name to Spreading Joy. :-)

From there, Mrs. Claus reads a letter from David, an 18 year old, All-American student who is hoping to have sex before he goes off to college.  Feeling  post-coitally benevolent, Santa sends his two best elves, Holly (Gina Valentino) and Vixen (Roxanne Rollan), off to service the lad.  He sends them via limo, driven by his right-hand elf, Pix (Luis De Jesus).

The girls are half-naked in the back of the limo, so of course, they fuck around a little bit until Pix pulls over to join in.  At this point, the film makes a stylistic change and becomes all sped-up and the sexual positions follow no logic or sequence.  Each of the girls have their way with Pix, and he with them — but the cuts are he’s fucking Vixen missonary and then it just cuts to Holly blowing him to him fucking Holly to Vixen jerking him off… it’s an odd scene which ends with Holly jerking him off until he cums quite a bit all over his belly.

The girls and pix then pull up to David’s (Tom Byron) house, and we see inside… David’s Dad (Paul Baressi) and Mom (Rikki Blake) are worried that Dick is pre-occupied on Christmas Eve.  He tells them not to worry, it’s easily solved… and he retires to his room to jerk off over a Cheri magazine, which leaves Mom and Dad to get busy.  (I assume Rikki is Tom’s STEP mom, since she’s maybe 2 years older than he is…) So as they bang, Holly and Vixen make their way into the house and watch for a little while, and right after Dad cums all over Mom’s ass, the elves make their way into David’s room.

Indulge me a quick moment to note how goddamned hot Rikki Blake is. Moving on…

The elves catch David jerking off and push him onto the bed.  He can’t believe his good fortune and puts a bow on his dick and asks them to suck it.  The two elves oblige in what is the best scene in the movie.  The two girls surround his cock which is just poking out of the fly of his jeans.  Each runs a tongue up the side of the cock, and their 80s hair just fills the frame and makes for a very nice picture.  Then the scene abruptly cuts to Dick naked, eating out Holly as she eats out Vixen.  Eventually, the girls end up on top of each other  (Holly on top, Vixen on the bottom) and he eats them both out while they make out with each other.  For a kid who never had sex before, he caught on quick!

As they fuck, we cut, somewhat inexplicably, to Mrs. Claus blowing Santa some more.  (I guess he has to come twice, after all…)

Then we cut back to David and the Elves when suddenly Mom and Dad — NAKED — storm in demanding “What are you doing?!”  This catches David off-guard, but Dad disarms the situation by hopping in bed with Mom and the elves.

(How this does not result in years of therapy for young David is a discussion for another day.)

The resulting orgy is a delight – lots of pussy eating — the girls service Mom while Dad jills Holly and David eats Vixen… then we’re back to Santa fucking Mrs. Claus doggie style, and she’s bucking like crazy… and back to the orgy… where DAVID IS FUCKING HIS MOTHER.  (Again, I will postulate, she’s his stepmother… but still… Rikki Blake is seriously hot.) No one mentions the incest.  (If you can’t keep it in your pants, keep it in the family?)

Holly makes some awesome eye-contact with the camera while she’s blowing Dad.

Eventually Dad fucks Vixen and David fucks Holly while Mom takes care of herself. Then Dad and David switch places and they all line up on the bed.  David/Vixen going at it missionary, Mom in the middle playing with herself, and Dad and Holly going at it doggie style.  There’s a few more shots of the girls staring directly at the camera.  Finally, Dad and David shoot all over Mom’s tits.  David’s cumshot splashes her in the face, which she did not seem to be expecting, but she took it like a sport. Mom finishes by cleaning up the men in her life.

Then one more quick cut to Santa making his O Face as the movie fades out.

On the plus side — all the girls are really cute, if not downright hot.  They’ve got full bushes and they’re not afraid to have their pussies eaten.  So if that’s your thing, this is sure to please.  On the con side – Santa didn’t really come twice, if he even came at all… and the incest overtones which were just ignored also a little odd.

It’s an enjoyable enough movie of its time, but there’s likely some better modern Christmas porn out there.

Also from the era, John T. Bone‘s Merry X Miss starring Lois Ayres and Samantha Strong is equally forgettable… but in that one, Short Studd wears a grotesque nose.

Tonight on Playboy Radio: Night Trips (1989)

I’m heading out to see Sharon Jones and the DAP Kings perform tonight, so no long review, and I”ll be at the mercy of my memory as we talk about Andrew Blake’s genre-busting entrance onto the scene: Night Trips.

There might not have ever been a filmmaker so divisive as Andrew Blake.  His work was as beautiful as a perfume commercial, and arguably, just as sexy.  For those people who were watchign Buttman and memorizing every frame, Blake was the polar opposite.  Nary a handheld camera in sight, shooting on 35mm film instead of cheap video, Blake came in and brought “class” with him.  Whether or not this was a good thing  (tm) fueled more internet debates than I care to count.

I recall sitting in my dorm in college when the trailer for Night Trips blipped across the screen.  My roommate and I put down our controller and took our eyes off of Ninja Gaiden for a second  (Original NES, baby!)  and stared awestruck at the trailer.  It was all MTV flash-cuts and hypnotic music and it was cut together as a true teaser trailer — not letting much get revealed other than it starred our current crush, Tori Welles.

Once we were able to get our hands on it, we were fans.  It was like someone was making an effort after so much gonzo, and Goddamn, Tori looked great.

The plot, as it were, has Tori going to sleep clinic to solve her constant plague of dirty dreams.  Randy Spears and Porsche Lynn are the doctors and they hook her up to a machine that projects those dreams onto a TV.  So, we get to see some vignettes of her dirty dreams.  The vignettes are intercut with her playing with herself.

Best scene has her fucking Peter North and ending with an absolutely spectacular facial.

This is one is for the girlfriends, not the frat house. :-)